Chapter 40
The next day came quicker than I would have wanted but I had no choice but to face the day that was ahead of me.
I had been unable to sleep the whole night so I was irritated and in a bad mood. Tristan and Freya were the only ones that were spared but the rest didn't fare so well.
I spent the whole night and day worrying if Nolan would show up and also trying to bring my temperatures down.
My heat had taken over completely and I had felt like I had been dipped into hot lava. I was burning from the inside with no way of alleviating the torture I was going through.
I did try soaking my body in a tub of ice cold water that Sophie had helped me set up but it was no use because instead of cooling me down it only worsened things for me.
My body was craving a male's touch but not just any male, only Xavier. I wanted him bad, I was aching in places I shouldn't and didn't even know I could ache.
I wanted his touch, his kisses, his caresses and most importantly I wanted him inside me.
I was beginning to feel like I was losing my mind because at some point during the night I almost went to his room and begged him to take me, that is how bad I craved Xavier.
I was fighting against my own body which currently didn't feel like mine and I hated it.
Everything has been under my control since I had ascended and here I was now unable to beat my own body and desires into submission which pissed me off.
I was currently in Bianca's room on watch duty. We had agreed she shouldn't be left alone especially in the state she was in.
It was now night time and Nolan hadn't showed up. I honestly don't know how I feel about that but I also knew that I wasn't angry at him, it was his choice after all and I had promised to respect it.
It was time to give up on the idea that he would come and think of a plan B because I couldn't let Bianca go feral no matter what.
"Amelia, why are you crying?" I was startled out of my thoughts.
I was so deep and lost in my thoughts that I hadn't heard him come in nor realize that I was crying.
Everything was crashing into me all at once and I guess the stress, worry and uncertainty finally caught up with me.
I threw myself into his arms and just cried, letting it all go. I was stressed about so many things, there was the battle ahead, Tristan's safety and all the packs, Bianca and how were going to kill Agron. On top of it all I had this itch I couldn't scratch. "I can't believe that you showed up, Thank you" I looked deep into his warm honey brown eyes that had always captivated me.
"I will always show up when you need me, don't ever doubt that" he replied warmly, his fingers grazing my cheek making me involuntarily close my eyes.
He brought his head closer to mine and kissed me. Immediately I started feeling sick but I fought through this because we both needed it.
It was sort of like a goodbye kiss for us. I pushed the pain and sickness to the back of my mind and instead memorized his soft lips.
I couldn't tell him that I had begun falling for him because I knew if I did he would choose me over Bianca and she would be lost.
I guess I was the only one to blame because I didn't realize sooner that my feelings for him had changed and now it was too late.
Plus I felt a bit disgusted by myself loving one man while my body craved another. It was funny how Bianca was the one who always got to have the men I wanted.
He pulled his lips from me, looked deep into my eyes where I swear I saw his love shining for me, but maybe it was just my wishful thinking, then he walked towards Bianca.
"Let's get this over with" he said in a rough voice before picking Bianca's twisted form.
His fangs came out, they were smaller than wolves, being the same size of those vampires we watch on Tv. His head descended and he bit on her neck marking her and breaking my heart all over again.
He then stood up and came and stood next to me while we waited to see if it worked. On his part nothing showed as if it had changed but for Bianca she started going back to her human form slowly by slowly as her soul mended itself.
The moment she became fully human, Nolan gave me one last longing look before disappearing, leaving me with an unconscious sister.
I waited for a moment before also leaving her room for mine when it seemed that she wasn't going to wake up.
**********
It was hours after I left Bianca when I found myself outside of Xavier's room. I had checked on her twice but she had not woken up yet but the doctor had checked up on her and said she was doing good and that she was more stable.
Maybe it was the stress of everything going on around me, or maybe it was the fact that I had lost Nolan because I knew no matter what even if it was possible I wouldn't start something with him because he was now mated, that just wasn't the type of person I was. Maybe it was the fact that I was in heat or the fact that I had finally reached my breaking point. I don't know.
And maybe it was all the above but here I was outside Xavier room in the middle of the night throwing caution to the wind.
I didn't love Xavier, yes my body wanted him and the bond was pushing me towards him but I needed to feel something tonight.
There was a possibility I would regret this move come morning but for now that didn't matter, with that I knocked on his door.
It wasn't even a minute when the door swung open and Xavier stood there with nothing but a pair of tight boxers.
My body immediately reacted and came alive, something I nowadays only feel when I am next to him or he's touching me.
"I don't know what I am doing here, I know I shouldn't be here but..." My words got stuck and I couldn't finish my sentence.
He looked at me, really looked at me before extending his hand for me. I stared at it for a while unsure before finally placing mine in his. He then pulled me inside and closed the door behind us.
"I hate you, gosh do I hate you, for everything you put me through in the past" I begin
I see the pain flash in his eyes but I don't care.
"You managed to kill the love I had for you but yet you expect me to be the same blind girl I was before. Today I had to watch a man I was falling for mark my sister. Do you know how painful it was to know yet again Bianca took something from me? if I were heartless I would let her rot in hell for what you and her did to me but I made a promise to my parents and even though I hate her, I still chose her over my own happiness" I take a deep breath. Breathing through the pain.
The crashed look that takes over his features is heartbreaking, but that didn't even compared to what I went through.
"I am sorry Amelia, more than you'll ever know" he says softly. Pain clear in his voice.
He goes to touch me but I avoid him. Not wanting him to be near me when I feel so vulnerable.
"Those are just words, they can't erase what you put me through, the pain and heartache" a tear falls down my face.
I don't wait for him to say anything else. I leave. Closing the door behind me. I go to back to my bedroom and sleep.
It was hours later when I woke up to a powerful aura suffocating me. I realized I had cried myself to sleep.
I leave my room and go to where I sensed him.
Given that no one else sensed him even Xavier, meant that he had made sure no one else could except for me.
"What do you want Hades?" I asked, still weary of him.
If I had my way, I would be beating him to a pulp for kidnapping me and beating me to death but I remembered his message to me through Sophie and also I sensed no malice or ill intentions from him.
"I am here to help, let's be honest neither one of us wants my douche of a brother rising. He would destroy the world as we know it and once he was done with you and your son he would be powerful enough to come for the rest of us" he said.
I sensed that he was sincere but this was risky. If I trusted him and this ended up being a set up then Tristan would be the one to pay for my mistake.
"Why should I trust you?" I asked him skeptically.
"Because I can tell you the exact date my brother is planning on attacking and trust me it's sooner than you expect" he replied with a shrug.