Good Elf Gone Wrong: A Holiday Romantic Comedy

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Hudson asked me later that evening after dinner had been served, eaten, and leftovers put away.

“Totally. I’m clumsy. That is not the first time I fell on the steps.”

“No. With your family.”

I snorted “The intervention? Sure,” I lied. “I’m fine. Turns out I was worried about everyone finding out I was a virgin for no reason. Joke’s on me.” I gave a half-hearted laugh. The whole thing was still making me queasy.

“Uh-huh.”

There was that assessing look.

“I did not need you to come in guns blazing. I can take care of myself.”

“I was worried about you,” he said, resting his forehead to mine. “I thought … I thought something bad had happened to you.”

“I live in a nice neighborhood,” I joked. “The worst that happens here is someone sabotaging someone else’s Christmas lights.”

Hudson wrapped me in his arms and kissed me softly.

I felt a thump in my chest.

“But thanks,” I said to him. “That was nice of you to put yourself in danger for me.”

“Oh, yeah. Your grandmother is terrifying.”

“Don’t worry. Grandma Murray won’t let Grandma Astelle stab you.”

I felt him smile against my hair.

“I still want to see that mystical sword.”

“You hang around my family long enough, you’ll see the fight.”

He pulled back from me.

“I guess we really better take your virginity now, huh,” he said with a smirk.

Suddenly all the fear and inhibitions were gone. There wasn’t anything I wanted more than Hudson at that moment.

I grabbed the collar of his shirt and kissed him hard. “I guess we’d better. Lying puts people on the naughty list.”

“And you don’t want to be a naughty girl.”

He picked me up, easily carrying me up the stairs then down the hall to my bedroom.

I clawed at his shirt when he set me down.

“Fuck, Gracie,” he hissed. “I want to give you every inch of my cock ’til you scream.” He pulled off the shirt, revealing washboard abs, rippling muscles, and those tattoos.

Goddamn, he was perfect.

“Are you wet for me?” he asked between kisses. “You ready for me to take you?” His hands were under my shirt, cupping my breasts.

“Yes,” I gasped as his hands caressed my curves, awakening the pleasure that had been banked from the last time we shared each other’s bodies.

The back of my neck prickled.

I moaned as he kissed me, his tongue slipping in my mouth, but I couldn’t quite surrender to him.

“I want you to come on my cock,” he murmured as he unbuttoned my top.

“Ignore it,” I whispered to myself.

“What?” Hudson asked, nipping my earlobe.

Around me, the beady black eyes of several dozen stuffed mice glared reproachfully.

“You want my cock, Gracie? You want my thick cock in your tight little cunt?”

“Er … yeah … I just …” I pushed him off.

Hudson waited, body tense.

“Wait right there. Give me one moment.”

Hudson watched in confusion then bemusement as I raced around the room, turning around all the stuffed animals so they didn’t have to have their innocence sullied. Then I threw a sheet over the dollhouse so that the little Victorian mice could preserve their prudishness.

“I just felt like they shouldn’t see,” I said and gulped. “Um, you know.”

“I can’t imagine why no man wanted to fuck you here,” Hudson said, bottom lip catching on his teeth. “Under the judgment from all your stuffed animals.”

“Okay,” I said. “I’m ready. I think.” I clapped my hands.

I felt more awkward than I had a few minutes ago. Maybe I should have told him that we should go to his place. But that would break the rules. That this was a fake relationship, not the start of our great love story. Going to his place made it some sort of intimate special moment for two people falling in love, which I would never do. Not ever.

The was a dull clunk as Hudson’s belt buckle hit the floor. Then his heavy boots came off.

“We are really doing this, huh?” I said, starting to panic as he reached for his zipper.

“Don’t worry, Sugarplum,” he purred. “I told you: you’re going to be begging me for my cock before I fuck you for the first time. Now, make sure you scream real loud. You need to wake up the whole house.”

“Right.” I clutched my shirt closed.

Hudson stalked me slowly, circling me in the hexagonal room.

Tall, dark-haired, with those eyes, he was like a swimsuit model. No, wait. Better. Swimsuit models didn’t have that rugged maleness. Hudson was all alpha male.

My stomach was flip-flopping. Sure, we’d gotten handsy in my mom’s pantry, and I’d sucked his cock in the living room, and of course, there was that time he had his tongue in my hoo-ha, but I had been so wrapped up in him that I didn’t have time to think.

Now?

Hudson came closer, closer. In the soft glow of the lamp, his muscles rippled. With the tattoos, the dark hair that was cropped low on the back of his neck and fell rakishly over his forehead, black jeans undone, riding low on his hips, he was every inch the bad boy.

“Let me see those tits, Sugarplum.” That deep voice sent shivers down my body.

I slowly inched the unbuttoned blouse off and let it fall to the floor.

I’d always imagined my first time as it being pitch-black, everyone under the covers, thirty seconds, then I’d get a snack and some wine, a check off my to-do list while I let the nameless, faceless guy sleep it off.

“We can turn off the lights,” I squawked, unhooking my bra but still holding it together.

There was a lot of pressure here on me. I needed Hudson to release his inner Regency duke and have his way with me to consummate the marriage.

Instead he watched me, a big cat and its prey.

“Nah. I want to watch the juice run down your legs.”

Wowza.

I let the bra fall.

“I want to see that pussy,” he ordered.

I hesitated then reached for my skirt and pulled it down while he watched, eyes tracking the motion as the skirt joined my shirt on the floor.

“Now bend over that table.” His voice was measured though I detected a tinge of tension in the baritone.

I knelt over the vanity, one knee balanced on the tiny fuzzy stool.

“Stick your ass out.” He was closer to me. “Yeah, like that.”

He was behind me now.

His large hands grabbed my ass, kneading it then spreading my thighs farther apart.

I whimpered as he buried his face between my legs and breathed, the air hot as he mouthed me through the soaking-wet panties.

“You taste divine.”

“Not as good as your cum,” I moaned.

His fingers hooked in the panties, and he slid them over my ass, down my thigh.

“Spread your legs.”

I shimmied them apart.

“Further.”

I was soaking wet.

“Reach behind,” he said. “Now touch yourself.”

I rubbed a circle in my swollen pussy, my hips rocking against my hand.

“Tell me what you want me to do,” he said in that deep voice.

“I want.” I swallowed.

“I want you to …” I said, grasping for some of the raunchier romance books my grandmother had gifted me on Kindle. I mean, yeah, sure, I read them—it would be rude not to read a book someone gave you, even if it did involve blue alien men with horns. “To tie my hands above my head. I want your tongue on my clit. I want you to eat me out until I beg for mercy, then I want you to spread my legs and fuck my pussy raw while I scream your name.”

“Damn, Sugarplum.”

Hudson leaned over to kiss me, the stubble on his chin rough against my cheek. He caressed my ass, his hand joining mine briefly.

“You’re a kinky little slut for a virgin, aren’t you? You want my cock that bad? You want me to fuck you raw?”

“Yeah,” I breathed, rubbing myself harder thinking about him there.

“No. Don’t touch your clit.”

He pinched my nipple.

“And pat your head and jump in a circle,” I joked.

He slapped my ass hard then squeezed it. He ran his tongue along my pussy, just on the edge of the slit, only teasing.

That got me really wet.

“I need you,” I moaned, arching my back. “Fuck me with that thick cock.”

“I’m not going to fuck you until you’re dripping wet.”

His voice was rough. He stepped behind me, his thick, hard cock pressed against my pussy.

I let out a loud moan. He tangled his fingers in my hair and pushed me forward, then ground slowly against me.

“Fuck me,” I begged. “Fuck me, Hudson, please.”

“I don’t think you’re wet enough.”

He slid his cock against me again.

Gosh. That was going to be in me!

I craved it.

I ground back against him, needing his cock inside me.

I felt something drip down my thigh.

“Now she’s good and wet.”

Hudson turned me around, hoisted me up, and shoved me against the bookshelf.

Figurines and little feminine knickknacks I’d collected over my childhood rattled.

“You gonna give me that thick cock, bad boy?” I said against his mouth as he kissed me.

Hudson shoved me back against the bookcase again.

“You want to beg me for it?” he said, fingering me roughly.

My hips rolled as his cock rubbed against my clit.

He ground against me then hoisted me up higher. Three of the stuffed mice bounced off his back and to the floor as he ate me out, his tongue lapping me, dipping in my opening, sweeping up my swollen, hot pussy then teasing my clit.

I whimpered and moaned and begged for his cock, my arms wrapped around his head.

He only teased my clit briefly, his tongue staying down lower. He kept me like that, on the edge.

“Yeah, your pussy’s nice and wet now.” He gave me one more lick then tossed me on the bed.

I reclined back, one arm on a stuffed reindeer. The crocheted flowers on the pillows dug into my bare back as I watched him fish something out of his pants then come to me, muscular, tattoos everywhere, washboard ads leading to that magnificent cock jutting out.

My mouth watered, remembering how it had felt to have his hot cum all over my face and tits.

He ripped the silver packet with his teeth.

My hands came down to play with my tits.

“Hudson,” I moaned. “Take me. I want you to fuck me. I’m so wet for you. I want your cock in me.” One hand crept down between my legs, splayed on the flower comforter. I lifted one of my breasts up and licked the nipple.

Hudson made a strangled noise.

I did it again.

His cock throbbed.

“I’m just an innocent little virgin, and I’ve never had a man take me before. But I want to feel your hot cum inside me.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he swore. “Get up. No. I feel like I’m going to hell.”

“It’s the stuffed animals,” I groaned, as he threw the flower comforter, the pillows, and the remaining stuffed animals on the floor.

Then he pushed me back on the bed.

I moaned loudly as he sucked on my tits.

His fingers were between my legs, stroking my aching slit.

“Beg me,” he rasped.

“Please.”

“Louder,” he ordered.

“Please, Hudson, please,” I begged as he licked me. “Please. I want your cock.”

“I told you,” he said, pulling back. “On your knees, begging me.”

Legs shaking, I clambered off the bed and knelt in front of him.

I clasped my hands.

“Please,” I said, sticking my lower lip out. “I’m begging you to fuck me, Hudson.”

“Damn.” His eyes were heavy lidded.

I leaned forward to run my tongue along the length of his cock, making him hiss.

“I want to fuck you so bad, Gracie.”

He grabbed me up around the waist, shoving me back against the bed. He rubbed his cock in the wetness.

My hips made needy little circles. I arched back on the bed as his fingers stroked my pussy then spread it.

I widened my legs for him, urging him to take me.

He reached up and stuck two fingers in my mouth. I sucked on them as he pushed in me, slowly, just an inch.

My pussy flexed.

“Fuck, you’re so tight, Gracie.”

I moaned around his fingers. He withdrew them and went to my breasts, pinching them. He pushed in another inch. Now I could really feel how thick and hard his cock was. It was huge, filling me, stretching me.

He grabbed my legs, forcing them wider apart, centered himself, then slid in another few inches. I let out a loud cry, my pussy aching as I took him.

“Hudson,” I panted.

“Tell me how much you like me in your pussy.”

I moaned, “You’re so big. Oh, you’re so huge in my pussy.” I didn’t know what to do with my hands and ran them over his face, his chest.

His body vibrated.

He pushed in me another inch.

I cried out, my voice coming out in high-pitched gasps.

“You’re so big. Oh god, that’s so big, Hudson.”

His jaw was tense with concentration as he pushed into me the rest of the way. Slowly.

I let out a loud moan of pleasure.

“Fuck. You took all of me, Gracie.”

He leaned over to give me a hard kiss.

“Your pussy feels so tight.”

He held us there, connected. Him in me, me clenched around him. Then he withdrew achingly slowly, as I panted and pleaded for him to fuck me.

I wrapped my legs around him as he pushed into me again.

“That feels sooo good,” I moaned as he stretched me, filled me, fully, to the hilt.

“I want you to fuck me,” I pleaded as he pulled out again.

He ignored me and eased in again, filling me. The pleasure was agonizing. I dug my nails into his arms.

“Hudson, make me come,” I moaned loudly as he pulled out and snapped his hips, taking me again.

I tangled my fingers in his hair. He increased the pace. He rocked his hips, his cock thrusting in me. Then he was fucking me, jackhammering into me.

I had already been halfway gone on the bookcase, and the feel of his cock stretching me, taking me, was enough to send me over the edge.

Not Hudson though. He kept up the relentless pace, grinding his teeth then kissing me, his nose banging into mine as he fucked me while I screamed out my orgasm.

He grabbed my wrists, forcing them above my head as he rutted into me, taking his pleasure in my body while I pleaded and begged for him to make me come again.

His rhythm got more erratic.

“Come in me,” I chanted. “I want to feel you come.”

Then he was shuddering in me.

I cried out his name, grinding my hips up to meet his as I came too.

He kissed me, sloppily, as he pounded in me, drawing out the orgasm as I screamed in pleasure.

“I should have”—I gasped as he collapsed on me—“done this sooner. Oh my god. You’ve never made me come so hard.”

I let him shower me with kisses. There were fireworks. Candy canes rained from the sky, applause …

Wait, applause?

Outside the bedroom non-door, there were definitely people applauding.

“Holy shit.”

The applause was punctuated by people complaining about their sleep being interrupted.

“Why can’t they close the goddamn door?” one of my cousins bellowed.

“Oh my gosh. This is humiliating.” I buried my face Hudson’s bare chest as my family crowded in the doorway.

Hudson dipped his head to kiss me lightly, seemingly unconcerned that my family had a 4K view of his bare ass, though if I had a body like his, I’d probably show it off too.

However, I did not have a military-grade, chiseled-out-of-testosterone-and-American-granite body. I had a yes-you-earned-that-third-donut body.

Hudson laughed softly against my mouth.

I felt my heart flutter. I pushed it down.

“Your sister,” he whispered and nipped my ear, “is stewing in jealousy right now, and I bet your ex is hard.”

I scrabbled for the sheet as he arched his back then leapt off the bed gracefully.

Meanwhile, I grabbed the sheet to myself, tried to extricate myself from the bed, crashed to the floor, then hefted a Christmas-themed blanket and raced after him, clutching my sheet with one hand.

“You’re not covered.”

“That is a work of art. You don’t throw a ratty blanket over Michelangelo’s David,” my aunt scolded me.

“This is a custom Rudolph blanket,” I insisted.

“Rudolph looks like he had a stroke,” Violet said flatly.

“I think he’s cute,” I said, throwing the blanket over Hudson.

“Somehow that makes him look more erotic,” Dakota said.

“Not helping,” I hissed to my friend.

She flashed me a big grin and a thumbs-up.

I winced, blinded by a flash as Granny Murray took my photo. “For the scrapbook.”

“This is not a spectator sport.”

“What a performance though.” Granny Murray whistled and clapped. “Brought down the whole house, that did.”

Hudson gave me a slow, lazy grin and winked.

I wanted to sink in the floor and die. All that fluttering in my chest was hopefully me having a heart attack so that I wouldn’t have to face my family.

“All of you stop it this instant,” my mother was shrieking.

“This is why we had the intervention,” Kelly said snidely. “This is pure exhibitionist behavior.”

“Maybe she ate a wild mushroom,” Piper said.

“Someone call that therapist back,” my mother begged. “My daughter is out of control. Gracie, what were you thinking?”

“She wasn’t thinking, ma’am,” Hudson drawled. “She could barely talk.” Hudson smirked and sauntered out of the doorless doorway.

“I—Oh.” My mother reddened as he walked by.

My cousin Connie literally fainted in Dakota’s arms, and Kelly looked like she was doing a little melting of her own.

That’s right. I had sex with him, and you didn’t, I wanted to shout, but that would be rude, beneath me, petty, some might say.

“Thank god James never likes to walk around naked, huh, Kelly,” I said as we both admired Hudson’s backside.

My uncles came stomping up the stairs.

“Kelly wasn’t stealing another of your boyfriends, was she?” Uncle Eddie joked.

“I wish I was in my twenties again,” his brother remarked, raising his beer to Hudson.

“You never in your life looked like Hudson,” his wife said tartly, eyes sweeping over my fake boyfriend’s naked body.

“We are all way too close,” I muttered, tugging the sheet more tightly around me.

“Better flush that condom, Hudson,” my brother said as he and my cousin snickered. “Kelly might steal it and make a superbaby.”

“Mom!” Kelly screamed.

“No way anyone’s going to think my kid is James’s,” Hudson said with a snort and headed for the bathroom.

The shower ran.

“Can no one close a door?” My mother pinched the bridge of her nose.

“You took my door,” I shrieked. “So I can’t shut it. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”

“I did?” My mother’s hand fluttered to her chest.

“You took that poor girl’s door?” Aunt Giana turned on my mother.

“She’s a grown woman. Why did you take away her door?”

“We were—It was when she was a teenager,” my mother stammered.

“Gracie never asked for it back,” my dad said defensively. “If you’d asked for it back, we would have, of course, given it back.”

“Do you even know where it is?” Aunt Janet asked.

“It doesn’t matter because your husband doesn’t know how to hang a door, Bethany,” Granny Murray said. “Astelle spoiled that boy soft. That’s what happens when you have a youngest son. Rob is just like your father, that lazy useless sack of sentient pot roast. I hope he chokes on a donut. Cheating bastard.”

“I need a drink,” my mother muttered.

“No, you need some of what Gracie has,” Granny Murray insisted. “Now there’s a man who can hang a door.” She stuck her thumb out.

“Who takes a shower that quickly?” I yelped when I saw that Hudson had appeared, naked and decorated with water droplets, beside me.

He shrugged. “The military.”

“Where is your towel?”

“In the bathroom.”

Dakota took another photo.

“Put that on the group chat.” Violet elbowed her.

“Smile for your fan club, Sugarplum,” Hudson said, almost playful as he nudged me lightly with his shoulder.

I felt a fluttering in my chest gain, harder this time, a yearning.

It’s heartburn or anxiety. You ate too late at night and aren’t used to this much strenuous activity.

Or what if it was something else?

It was like that time in middle school when I had a crush on my science fair partner with his Justin Bieber haircut. Yeah, I was a real basic tween.

Hudson gave me that lazy, smoldering grin again.

Crap.

I had it bad for my fake boyfriend.