Would You Rather: A Novel

Noah stood with his elbows on the kitchen island, waiting for Mia. His dad’s retirement party was being held tonight at a fancy hotel downtown, and if they didn’t leave in exactly three minutes, they would be late.

Two minutes and forty-seven seconds later, a pair of heels click-clacked down the hallway.

“Sorry, my hair wasn’t cooperating. I’m ready.”

Noah looked up and straightened. He’d been ready to say something, but no words came out. He just stood there staring at her, his mouth hanging open, his heart in his throat.

She nervously smoothed a hand down her wavy black hair and across the skirt of her dress. “Is this okay? Too dressy? My closet consists mostly of office attire and yoga pants.”

The pink dress was the same she’d worn to their wedding, which brought back memories of how painfully beautiful she’d looked that day. It also reminded him of their first kiss, which gave him tunnel vision straight into the tree house and the way she’d fit perfectly into his lap, her mouth hot and eager against his.

He cleared his throat, thankful the island blocked the lower half of his body. “You look perfect.”

Things had felt a little weird between them since the camping trip last month. He couldn’t shake the feel of her. Of her hands gripping his waist, or the way she’d tried to hide the tremble in her body when he’d touched his forehead to hers.

He caught her watching him more than usual, when they were doing mundane things like watching TV or getting ready for bed. Graham hadn’t stayed over again and she’d resumed sleeping in the guest room, but each night they said good-night and went their separate ways, there was an air of tension between them. A spark of heat he’d always felt, but it seemed bigger because the lingering look in her eyes told him she felt it, too.

A smile lit up her face. “Thank you. You look handsome, but you always do.”

He did?

“I need to fix your hair, though…” she trailed off as she came closer.

His heart pounded beneath his ribs, her sweet vanilla scent washing over him. He tucked his lower lip between his teeth and obediently lowered his head, closing his eyes when she touched him.

Her fingers made several passes through the strands, sending a shudder through him. Her other hand pressed flat against his chest, and fuck, how much longer could he do this? Her smell, her touch, that dress…he was seconds away from grabbing her waist, setting her on the counter, and moving between her legs to kiss her within an inch of her life.

“There.” Did her voice sound a little breathless, or was he imagining it?

“Maybe I should just get my hair cut short. Then you wouldn’t have to fix it all the time.”

“Don’t you dare.”

He lifted his head and met her dark gaze, one eyebrow raised. He expected a look of surprise on her face, that she’d said those words aloud. But she didn’t back down, and just stared at him with a sort of intensity he didn’t know what to do with. She didn’t usually say things like that.

Did she usually think them?

He swallowed hard and swiped his phone from the counter before taking a step back to regain his sanity. “Okay. I won’t. We’d better head out.”

They walked to the car in charged silence, and she must have felt it too, because when she settled into the car beside him, she asked, “Would you rather have a pause button or a rewind button?”

He looked over to find her eyes on his, searching. Was she asking about something specific? He couldn’t get a good read on her.

There were so, so many things he’d change if he could go back in time. He’d never have left the fraternity party that night. He wouldn’t have had that extra beer at his brother’s bachelor party. He would have let that kiss in the tree house go just a little longer…

Starting the car, he turned his gaze straight ahead. “Rewind.”

She let out a little laugh, though it didn’t sound happy. “Yeah. Me too.”

By some miracle they made it to the party on time, and by the time they had drinks in their hands and had filled up on finger foods, both seemed to relax. Being in a room with dozens of other people relieved a fraction of the constant tension surrounding them when they were alone, and after an entertaining argument about whether they’d rather wear only ’80s clothes (Noah) or have only ’80s hairstyles (Mia), she excused herself to the ladies’ room.

He leaned against the bar-height table to wait, leisurely perusing the room. Many were familiar faces from the office, others were friends of his parents and family. He couldn’t be happier this event gave him and Mia an excuse to spend the evening together. Her classes had started three weeks ago, and she spent most evenings studying. He was reading a lot more himself, so he could be in the same room but not distract her with the television. But he’d been dying to talk to her.

Laugh with her.

Touch her.

Tonight was a relief and a torment, swirling around him like oil and water.

After a few minutes, he sensed someone approach from behind him, and David set a glass down.

“Noah,” he said by way of greeting.

Noah just looked at him.

David chuckled. “Relax, man. James and I had a long discussion about the associate position. He said you’d put in a good word.”

Noah gave him a terse nod.

“You did your part. I won’t say anything about you and Mia,” David said. He seemed sincere, and Noah relaxed a fraction. “As long as things keep going in my favor, that is.”

“I did what I could,” he bit out. “Like I said, it’s not my decision.”

David seemed to catch the eye of someone across the room and did a head nod. He picked his glass up again. “Maybe you’ve done all you need to, maybe you haven’t,” he said before strolling off. “Guess we’ll find out soon.”

Noah took a long pull of his beer, wishing he’d ordered something stronger. But he was driving and with Mia, so he’d kept it light. He tried to push the interaction out of his mind, and focused on his parents and their smiles. Their happiness was contagious. Not only because they were celebrating his dad’s retirement and telling everyone about an upcoming European vacation, but also because anytime they were together, their devotion was clear as day. Their relationship was one Noah had always hoped for.

Julia appeared in the same spot David had just vacated. “What’s got you all worked up?”

He didn’t even try to hide it. “David.”

Her humorous smile fell. “Oh. I’d sort of hoped my warning wouldn’t be necessary. Guess I was wrong, huh?”

“And how. He’s convinced Mia’s and my marriage isn’t real.” Noah put his elbow on the bar-height table. “It’s not true, but a public accusation would still cause problems.”

A thoughtful look crossed Julia’s face. “You know, I would have agreed with you a few weeks ago. Especially right after finding out. But after seeing you two tonight? I don’t think anyone would question your relationship.”

He worked to keep his expression neutral and paused for a few beats. “Why do you say that?”

“Anyone with eyes can see you’re into each other.”

“I’m into her, that’s for sure.” He said the words without much thought, and he wished them back into his throat. He trusted Julia, but he still didn’t need to plant any seeds of doubt in her mind.

“No question. And she’s got it bad for you.”

Noah kept his mouth shut, but something must have shown on his face.

“You don’t believe me?” Julia laughed. “Watch.”

Just as he was about to ask what she was talking about, she took a step closer, her hand on his arm and her head thrown back in a joyful laugh.

“What—” he started, pulling his arm back, when a throat loudly cleared on his other side.

“Excuse me.” Mia stepped between him and Julia, which effectively put her right up against his person.

He was momentarily distracted by the warmth of her body.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Mia said curtly. She subtly shifted her backside more firmly against him, and he almost choked on the realization.

She was jealous.

“No apology necessary,” Julia said, cool as a cucumber. She’d backed up a step and met Noah’s eyes above Mia’s head, her eyes twinkling.

He quirked a brow, conceding she may have been right. But what did Mia’s reaction mean? Was it just a territorial move?

“I think I need another drink,” Julia said with a grin.

She walked off and Mia put a few inches of space between them.

“What was so funny?” she clipped.

“Nothing. Just Julia being Julia. Do you want to hit the photo booth?”

“What?”

Noah pointed to the far corner of the room. “It was my mom’s idea. Said she was trying to appeal to us younger people to get us to show up.”

Mia smiled fondly. “Oh. Yeah, okay. Sure.”

She grabbed his hand—she grabbed his hand—as they made their way across the room. He caught Julia’s eye from the bar and she tipped her glass in his direction.

“Ooh, are you two taking pictures?” his mom called as they neared the deserted booth. “Get some cute ones for me!”

Noah waved her off and peeled back the black curtain, gesturing for Mia to go in first. He settled in beside her in the small space, their arms and thighs pressed together. The curtain fell closed and darkness surrounded them. His other senses heightened—the heat of her body, the soft sounds of her breath, the sweet scent of her hair. He gripped his thighs.

“You pick the props,” he said, hoping she didn’t notice the rasp in his voice.

Her gaze met his, something he couldn’t identify in her eyes. Before he could say anything else, she leaned forward to the various props available. They took a few with glasses and top hats, and one with cutouts of champagne flutes. With each flash of the light bulb, the strain melted away, and soon they were laughing and posing, each snapshot more theatrical than the last.

Mia handed him a mustache and she grabbed a red pair of lips. She held them up in front of her own, batting her eyelashes.

“How do I look?”

“Like a cartoon.”

“Really?” She held the lips in front of her face, eyeing them critically. “I always wished my lips were a little fuller. You know, like Angelina Jolie’s? Hers are perfect. I can’t imagine any man not wanting to kiss those.”

She said the words conversationally, completely unaware of the bolt of desire that hit him like lightning. She laughed a little at herself and looked up, her eyes growing wide when she saw his face.

How clearly were his thoughts reflected there? He didn’t have the fortitude to create a mask worth a damn. All he could do was stare at her pink lips and rasp, “Yours are pretty damn perfect.”

That perfect mouth parted and a soft sound of surprise escaped. Just as he was about to lift his hand to slide his thumb across her lips, someone pounded on the side of the booth.

“You two done in there?” a man’s voice slurred.

Mia blinked several times and gathered the props, shoving them back in the box as Noah pulled back the curtain, ignoring the crushing disappointment that filled him.

“All yours, buddy.”

It was his dad’s first week in retirement, and his presence was still very much at the architecture firm.

Well, in Noah’s office at least.

Tuesday afternoon, Noah’s phone rang, and he’d thought it was a joke when his dad’s name flashed across the screen.

“Shouldn’t you be lying by the pool or something?” Noah joked in greeting.

“Why haven’t you submitted all your materials for the junior principal position?”

Noah’s stomach dropped. “Uh…”

“I asked James about it at the party, and he kind of evaded the question. I just asked HR and they said your application isn’t complete.”

“I’ve been busy—”

“Bullshit. Nothing is more important than your career.”

Noah’s spine stiffened. “That’s not true.” His dad knew it, too. He’d always done a good job of balancing work and family.

“At this point in your life it is,” his dad argued. “Now is the time to go hard and make yourself known, so you can slow down once you settle down and have a family.”

“I have a family now, if you recall.”

“I know you just got married, but that’s not a good enough reason. Surely Mia wants this for you. What’s going on?”

Noah leaned back in his chair. It was one thing to have this conversation with James…but with his dad? The man he wanted to make proud more than anyone else? He forced the words out. “I don’t think I’m ready, Dad.”

“Yes you are.”

“There’s too much competition. There’s no point in applying when there are others with more experience.” His dad might not buy that. In the past Noah had never had a problem at least trying things when it came to applying to colleges or jobs, even if he wasn’t confident he’d get the spot. He’d learned from every process, regardless of outcome.

“This is unlike you, Noah.” His dad sighed heavily into the speaker. “Is something wrong? Has something happened at the office I didn’t know about?”

“No.”

“Then I don’t understand. You always said you wanted this. To be a part of the business I started and carry it forward. I thought you were proud to work there and be part of what we’re accomplishing in this city.”

Did he have to put it like that? “I do. I am.” He stood and pushed his foot against the bottom of his chair, sending it wheeling across the room. “I just… I don’t know. I guess I got distracted. I’ll finish the application.”

“You will?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear it,” his dad said. “I’ll let you get to it, then. But Noah?”

“Yeah?”

“If I check on this again and find out you didn’t at least try, I’ll be very disappointed in you.”

Noah’s lungs burned and heart pounded with each smack of his shoes against the pavement. He paused at a crosswalk, jerking his head both ways to make sure he wasn’t about to get creamed, and ran through the intersection without waiting for the signal to proceed.

He was too frustrated to care about jaywalking. Jayrunning? Whatever.

Climbing and camping were his preferred methods of stress relief. Getting out of the city and into the mountains was the best way to clear his head, and he’d always worked through problems best while hanging off the side of a rock, nothing else to focus on but his grip and the rope.

But it was Tuesday and an impromptu trip out of town wasn’t possible. On the rare occasion something upset him on a day like this, he went for a run instead.

His father’s words spoken that afternoon were on a scrolling marquee in his mind. Bright, flashing, and repetitive.

I thought you were proud to work there. I’ll be very disappointed in you.

After work he’d immediately changed and hit the street, hoping to dispel the bitterness. By the time he made it home, he didn’t feel much better.

Mia had gone to dinner with Claire and Reagan and wasn’t there when he returned. He took a shower to rinse off, keeping the water cold to cool down his overheated body. As he stood under the spray, letting the frigid water rain down on his face, he suddenly had the sensation someone was watching him.

He lowered his head and opened his eyes, swiping a hand over his head to push his hair back.

Mia was standing in the hallway, eyes wide and mouth ajar. Apparently between thinking he was alone in the house and his mind being focused elsewhere, he hadn’t thought to close the bathroom door. And no hot water meant the glass hadn’t fogged up…

Her hand flew up to cover her eyes. “I’m sorry—”

He swiped a towel and turned off the water in one fluid movement. “No, it’s—”

“I didn’t—”

“Mia—”

But by the time he could get the word out, she was gone.