Un2talented (Book 3 of the Un2 Series)

“Cadence, c’mon!” Dorian waved at her from the open car window. “It’s just Gary!”

“Yea, it’s just me!” Gary appeared in the window behind Dorian. “Don’t be afraid. I don’t bite in either form!”

Dorian chuckled.

“That’s not funny!” Cadence called back from the edge of the headlight beams.

“It kinda is, but I’ll ask Gary to refrain from joking around,” Dorian replied.

“I’m sorry. I try to make jokes in awkward situations. Like, just now, when I was naked in the car. . .”

Dorian covered Gary’s mouth with his hand. “Not helping!” He cautioned. His hand started to bristle with fur, so he yanked it away quickly.

“Please, Cadence, at least come closer so I can explain myself without yelling,” Gary begged.

Cadence took a few steps toward the car and then sidestepped around to the passenger door maintaining a generous gap between her and the automobile.

“Hello,” Gary said in as unthreatening a manner as he could.

“Hi,” Cadence wearily responded.

“It’s kind of a long explanation. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather sit inside with us?”

“I’m fine right here. Thank you.”

“Could you skootch up a bit?” Gary asked Dorian. He obliged by releasing the lever beneath his seat and gliding forward.

“Thanks.”

“No prob.”

Gary pushed his arms through the opening and reframed himself within the window. “Okay, I’ll keep this as straightforward as possible. When I am finished you can ask me whatever questions you may have, and I will answer them as honestly as I can. Okay?”

Cadence nodded.

“As you know, my name is Gary. I’m not exactly sure of my age, but my dog age is seven times that. I am a ‘dayhound’, a dog by day and a man by night. I made that term up. As far as I know, I am the only one of my kind, unless dear old dad knocked up another bitch.”

Dorian laughed. Cadence sighed.

“Sorry,” Gary apologized, “I’m nervous. Are you sure you won’t join us? Would it be okay if I come out there and sit on the hood, or something?”

Cadence thought for a moment. “The hood would be okay.”

Gary crawled through the window and relocated to the hood.

“That’s better. Anyway, a whole bunch of extraordinary things has happened to me and my friends, you know, the ones from the motel, over the past few days. We ended up at the mansion. That’s when Leslie and I were separated from the others and got locked in that freezer.”

“And I let you out. How did you end up back at the mansion?” Cadence asked.

“Leslie and I were worried about the others. We snuck back in last night through the boathouse. That’s when Leslie was captured by a couple of goons. I escaped but got trapped in the house when I turned canine.”

Gary was becoming visibly frustrated. He looked upward and tried to gather his thoughts.

“That’s okay take your time,” she said.

“It’s just that they are all in trouble and I don’t know what I can do to help them. I NEED to help them!”

“You said something about a grotto earlier?” Dorian hung out the window to join the conversation.

“Yeah, we walked through this long descending tunnel and ended up in a subterranean cave. It looked like a lab of some kind. It had a real mad scientist kind of vibe.”

“Cadence, I hate to say it but I don’t think I’m comfortable with you working at that place. I mean, they lock people in freezers and have an underground lab. Plus, they have goons! Do you really want to work with goons?” Dorian asked.

“Don’t get me wrong, Dory, but you’re awfully quick to accept Gary’s version of whatever has transpired,” Cadence replied. “No offense to you, Gary, but I don’t know you. You seem like a very nice, um, dayhound, but the only way I even know you is through assisting your escapes from a place that you may or maybe not ought to have been there in the first place.”

“Kinda wordy, but I understand. However, I am telling you the truth,” Gary answered. “If you give me a lift back to the motel, I will answer any questions you still have just like I said I would.”

“How do I know that we can trust you? Maybe you’ll just kill us and take our car!”

Gary thought for a moment. “Do you have a phone on you?”

“I do!” Dorian chimed in.

“Dial BIG-BAD-WOLF.”

Dorian’s fingers skated across the touch screen. A second later Gary’s phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and brought it to his face. “Pop the trunk,” he told Dorian using the speakerphone.

Dorian depressed the button on the key fob still dangling from the ignition switch. The trunk lid rose slowly behind him. Gary spun away from Cadence and slid to the opposite side of the hood. He dismounted the car and glanced back at Cadence with an assuring nod. He rounded the car and climbed into the trunk, closing it behind him.

“There you go! Everyone is safe and sound. Now, can we get going? The gym bag back here is a little ripe,” broadcasted from Dorian’s phone.

“C’mon. Cady! He’s locked in the trunk using your aerobics funk as a pillow. Let’s get back to the motel before he loses consciousness!” Dorian buckled his seatbelt.

Cadence entered the car and buckled in. “My gym bag doesn’t stink.”

“Says the girl who isn’t nostril-deep in post-Zumba spandex!” Gary jibed over the speaker.

“Burn!” Dorian let loose with a chuckle.

“Not as much as my nostrils!” Gary added.

Dorian burst out laughing.

“Maybe the wrong one is locked in the trunk,” Cadence muttered as she started the car and put it in drive.

Dorian maximized the volume on his phone and then propped it in the center console cup holder.

“Can you hear me?” he said toward the phone.

“Loud and clear. Ask me anything.”

“Okay,” Cadence started. “We’ll start with some basic getting-to-know-you questions. Is being a dayhound the same thing as being a werewolf, but in daylight?”

“Ah, I bet you thought you were starting simple, but that’s a complicated answer. You assume that I change into a dog at daybreak. What would you think if I told you that I change back into a dog at daybreak?”

“I don’t think that makes a difference. Technically you’re still a dog half of the time and a man the other half of the time. I don’t think the order matters.” Cadence replied with confidence.

“Is that so? Would you think my girlfriend Cherise would share that opinion?”

“I would say that she quite possibly could.”

“Possibly, “Gary agreed. “By the way, she’s an Afghan Hound. Does it still not make a difference?”

Cadence stammered a couple of unintelligible syllables.

Dorian’s jaw dropped. He leaned toward the phone. “Your girlfriend is a dog?”

“Indeed, she is. She’s a blue-ribbon winning bitch, a credit to her breed,”

Gary beamed.

“You shouldn’t refer to her that way!” Cadence scolded.

“You mean calling her a bitch? She is literally a bitch,” Gary laughed. “So was my mom.”

“Your parents are dogs?” Dorian asked.

“Mom was a German Shephard.”

“And, your dad?”

It was silent for a moment and then Gary sighed. “Dad was, well, he wasn’t a dog.”

“What kind of canine was he?”

“He wasn’t.”

“Oh, so he was a . . . oh-my-god!” Dorian gulped.

“Wait, wait! It wasn’t as bad as it sounds!” Gary insisted. “He was a werewolf. He was a whisky-soaked, lonely werewolf prowling around during a full moon on Valentine’s Night. He happened upon my mom and they hit it off. Badda-boom, Badda-bing. Oh, and before you ask, it was consensual.”

It was quiet for an uncomfortable length of time.

“Hello?” Gary urged.

“That’s a lot to process, Gary.” Cadence replied.

“Tell me about it. I’ve been through a lot of counseling and soul-searching to try and understand it myself. I’m still learning to accept who I am.”

“Well, that got deep really quick,” Dorian commented.

“Unintentionally so,” Cadence added.

“The floor is still open for more questions. Is there anything else you want to know about me?”

“I think I would like to get to know you better over a cup of coffee rather than continue this man-in-the-trunk interview thing that we’ve got happening here. How’s that sound to you?” Cadence asked.

“As long as there is pie or pancakes,” Gary countered.

“I’m in!” Dorian agreed. ” Where there are pancakes there’s usually bacon!”

Cadence pulled into the next restaurant she saw that met the “pie or pancake” requirement. She parked on the darkened outskirts of the lot so they could offload Gary without drawing attention to themselves. She hit the release button on her key fob as she arrived at the trunk. The lid popped open revealing the silhouette of a curled-up Gary with his head propped on her gym bag. His amber eyes floated in the black of the trunk, much like they did when she had freed him from the freezer. He swung his legs into the open and pushed himself forward, taking Cadence’s hand as she helped to extract him from the hollow.

“Thanks,” Gary said as he aligned his clothes with his body.

Dorian took a deep sniff of the air. “Yep, bacon!”

“I appreciate what you did. I don’t know many people that would go to those lengths to make me feel safe, much less someone I just met. I feel a little embarrassed by it now,” Cadence said blushingly.

“It was no big deal. I’ve been in far worse places with much stinkier gym bags!”

Dorian chuckled.

“Hey!” Cadence smacked Gary in the arm. “I’m not stinky! Am I?”

“It’s probably just my heightened sense of smell. Besides, you aren’t even close to that guy when it comes to stink!” Gary pointed at Dorian who stopped laughing and sniffed his armpit and then shrugged.

“I’ve been riper,” Dorian admitted.

They all laughed.

“All this ‘stink talk’ is delightful, but I hear some pie calling my name. Shall we?” Gary offered up his arm to Cadence. She linked her arm over his and the trio headed for the diner.