Un2talented (Book 3 of the Un2 Series)

“Despite the curt manner in which it was said, Shorty pretty much hit the nail on the head,” Lenny agreed. “We will need to give serious thought as to what abilities Dorian will need.”

“Is there a drawer labeled ’Mad Ninja Skills’?” Dorian joked hoping that there might actually be a “Mad Ninja Skills” drawer.

“Naw, DeLeon focused on the talents of the artsy kind. He was skilled in all things conquistador like swordsmanship, marksmanship, and ruining ancient civilizations.”

“What about Leslie’s finger?”

“The fact that it made him stronger wouldn’t be the deciding factor. He would want it for appearance, not performance. The strength wouldn’t be the ability he was after. He touted his own physical abilities.”

“I am more than just pretty, you know. I do have skills of my own,” Leslie huffed. “Although, I am a bit flattered.”

“I’d be thrilled to borrow your skills, especially your strength,” Dorian suggested. “Lord knows I could use it!”

Leslie rifled through the index until he found the vessel containing his pinky. He brought it to Dorian and pressed it into his palm.

“Carry this with you. I hope it brings you the strength you need.”

“Than…” Dorian’s expression of appreciation was interrupted by a convulsion as his slender frame expanded into a hunk of beefcake.

“This is awesome!” he exclaimed. Dorian hunched forward flexing both arms as he had seen so many big guys do in the movies. As he grimaced his most fierce grimace, he dropped Leslie’s finger and deflated to his former self.

“You look like a toddler pooping his diaper!” Leslie laughed.

“That does point out a problem,” Lenny noticed. “If you lose contact with the digit you will lose the ability that it possesses.”

“We’ve got some really strong gaffer tape in with the sound equipment. We can just tape whatever fingers he needs right to him,” Shorty suggested. “Right, Lanky?”

“That should work.” Lanky nodded in agreement. “Or maybe crazy glue. We use that to stick fingertips back onto our guitarist all the time.”

“Ewww!” Dorian whined. “I’m not crazy about having dead fingers glued to my body. That sounds disgusting!”

“Yet you’re okay with taping dead fingers to your body? How is that better?” Lanky queried.

“What if when we remove the glued fingers, they leave chunks of flesh on me? At least with tape, we’ll be able to get them off.”

“I would feel better if there were some way of adhering the fingers to you that was a little more secure than tape,” Leslie urged. “Maybe you should swallow them.”

Dorian made a sound like that of a cat ejecting a hairball.

Gary whimpered and tucked his tail as his ears turned back.

“There is a solution that may sound a bit extreme at first, but I think will provide the best means of securing the digits,” Lenny assured. “Dorian, do you remember how I repaired that gash in the musician’s hand?”

“Sure. You used that fish water.”

“I think we should use the water to attach the digits to you.”

“Wouldn’t that be kind of permanent?”

“It would be the only way to make sure the fingers stayed in contact with you. We can sever them from you once you return safely.”

“Sever?” Dorian shuddered.

“I promise that you won’t feel anything. It will be fine,” Lenny said with a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “Do it for Cadence.”

“For Cadence,” Dorian repeated. “Okay, so what other talents do I need?”

“You already have strength,” Lenny said nodding at Leslie, “and incredible timing thanks to Cadence’s hand.”

“He should fly!” Lanky added exuberantly.

“Do we have Superman’s pinky in one of those drawers?” Shorty snipped.

“Flying is a stretch, but leaping would be good. See if there is a ballet dancer in the catalog,” Lenny suggested.

“Got one!” Lanky called, holding it above his head. “There’s also a street dancer. You want it?”

“Yes!”

“Okay, we have strength, agility, and timing. What else?”

Lanky began to speak but then decided against it.

“Were you going to say x-ray vision?” Shorty teased.

“Um, no,” Lanky blushed.

“He was gonna say x-ray vision!” Shorty laughed.

“Again,” Lenny interjected,” x-ray vision would be a difficult one, but a heightened awareness of his surroundings would be a good thing. Nice thinking, Lanky.”

Lanky summoned every ounce of restraint he had to keep from sticking his tongue out at Shorty.

“Where would we find that? He doesn’t have a ‘Zen’ drawer,” Shorty quipped, a bit miffed.

“I have an idea of how to handle that,” Lenny said. “Leslie, please bring me a bracer from the armor in the hallway, the rest of you gather your things.”

Leslie’s first instinct was to choose the Nordic armor, but the bracer was too large even for Leslie. He chose instead the stylish Italian one and went to rejoin the group. On his return, he was drawn back to the armor of his ancestors. It called to him and stirred a feeling deep inside him. He ran his hand over the polar bear pelt and then traced the scars on the breastplate with his finger.

“Leslie, are you coming?” Shorty called.

“Yeah, sure!” He replied. Leslie rejoined the group as they headed towards the staircase.

“What ’cha got there, buddy?” Shorty asked.

“The bracer Lenny asked for.”

“Not that, I mean that.” Shorty pointed to the other hand.

Leslie glanced down and to his surprise, he was carrying the sword and sheath that were stored within the handle of the Viking battle-ax.

“I thought Dory may need to protect himself,” Leslie replied, still bewildered as to how he came to hold the sword.

Lenny directed the group down a couple of flights of stairs that led to the backside of the aviary. Dorian recognized the medical office and headed towards it.

“No, not there,” Lenny stopped him. “This way.”

The group continued across the sanctuary to the door adorned with the Kraken porthole. Lenny tapped the word “ROCKSTAR” on the keypad and the door popped open.