Those Three Little Words

Taters: Drove up to the cabin this morning. Come when you want.

We spent the latter half of the day shopping, once I was able to get Penny off my dick. No joke, I can’t tell you the number of times we’ve had sex since early this morning. We got her quite a few new outfits, things she’d be comfortable in, and then I took her out to a late lunch followed by some ice cream. We ran into a few fans, but nothing too overwhelming. I was worried about lashing out, but everyone was pretty cool, giving us space, and I appreciated that.

But it was nice, holding her hand as we walked down the street, going from shop to shop. I wasn’t worried about being caught, about touching her wrong, or even saying something that wasn’t appropriate. I was able to breathe . . . be happy.

And fuck, it felt good.

Since Penny is in the bathroom, I quickly text him back.

Eli: I don’t want to leave Penny. Can I bring her?

Taters: Might as well. If Pacey can get Winnie to talk to him, pretty sure she’s coming too.

My brow pinches together.

Eli: What do you mean she’s not talking with him?

Taters: Did you think our star goalie was just sucking because he was getting older? No, Winnie put a break on their relationship after you fucked his sister.

Eli: What? It seemed like they were fine.

Taters: Just this last week or so. He put on a happy face, and so did she, but they weren’t sharing the same bed. He told me everything on the flight home.

Eli: Holy shit. I wonder if that’s why he told me he didn’t care If I pursued Penny.

Taters: Yup. Winnie thought it was ridiculous that he was inserting himself into your personal life. So, basically, the women in our lives ruined this playoff season for us.

Eli: Did they? Or did we ruin it by not doing the right thing with them?

Taters: In my case, the women ruined it.

Eli: I’m assuming you’re talking about Sarah.

The toilet flushes, and Penny comes out of the bathroom wearing one of my shirts, looking fine as hell as she walks toward me without an ounce of makeup on her face and freshly fucked hair.

Taters: Yeah, let’s just say I came up here to make a change. To stop making the same damn mistake over and over again.

Eli: Good. Let me ask Penny, and I’ll get back to you.

Penny takes a seat directly on my lap and moves her hands over my bare chest. One of my favorite things about her is she has no problem showing affection. The way she touches me, kisses me, even hugs me. She just takes what she wants at that moment, and I fucking love it. I haven’t had affection in my life for such a long goddamn time that to have someone who actually shows it moves me in a way I can’t even describe.

“Everything okay?” she asks.

“Did you know Pacey and Winnie were on a break?”

Her hands pause from smoothing over my shoulders. “What?”

“Yeah, Taters just told me. Winnie hasn’t said anything to you?”

“Not a thing.” She goes to move off my lap, but I hold her in place.

“Don’t bother them. Taters made it seem like they were working things out. Let them.”

“But why were they—” She pauses and then says, “Oh, because of us, huh?”

“Seems like Winnie wasn’t happy about Pacey meddling.”

“She never said anything to me.”

“Probably because she didn’t want to stress you out any more than you were. But that would explain his sudden change of heart.”

“Change of heart?” she asks. “What are you talking about?”

“You know, it’s not something we need to worry about. Let’s talk about the appointment tomorrow.”

“Wait, no, don’t pass this off. What kind of change of heart did Pacey have?”

Christ, me and my big fucking mouth.

“Penny, I don’t want to talk about it, we’re in a good place, and I don’t want you to get angry.”

“Is it something that will make me angry?”

“Honestly, I have no idea.”

She folds her arms over her chest while straddling my lap and says, “Well, tell me, and we’ll see.”

I drag my hand over my face and let out a heavy breath before saying, “The night you gave me gummy bears, Pacey saw us, and I was afraid he thought something was going on between us, so when I got on the bus, I told him that nothing was happening. I was holding up my promise to him. But then he asked if I liked you and if you liked me, and . . . well, I told him the truth. I do like you, Penny. I always have. That’s when he said that I shouldn’t let him get in the middle of it.”

“So he gave you permission.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“And then, instead of calling me up, you went silent on me.”

See, this is exactly why I didn’t want to say anything. It looks really bad on my end. Well, that’s because it is bad.

“Penny.” I rub her thighs slowly. “I, uh . . . I’ve just been trying to handle all this shit in my head, and sure, I didn’t handle it well, I see that, but the only reason I pushed you away was because I wasn’t sure how to handle the feelings I had for you. It’s stupid, but it’s the truth.”

When my eyes meet hers, understanding flashes through them. “Is this the first time you’ve had feelings for a girl?” she asks.

“Yes,” I answer. “Sure, when I was growing up, I had some crushes, but that’s all they were, they were nothing like what I feel for you, and it’s frankly been terrifying.”

“Why?”

“Because,” I answer, “I’ve lost pretty much every important person growing up, and I don’t want to lose anyone else.”

“You have your boys.”

“That’s out of necessity, but even at that, I still panic from time to time when they get hurt.”

She smiles at me and curls into me, resting her head on my shoulder. “Well, sorry, but you have me now and this baby, and we’re always going to be a part of your life, so you better get used to it.”

“I’m starting to find great comfort in the idea,” I say while I drag my hand over her back. “And about tomorrow, are we going to find out the sex of the baby?”

“What do you think? Do you want to know?”

“I do, but if you don’t, I can wait. Practicing patience has been my MO lately.”

She chuckles. “I want to find out. I’d rather mentally prepare myself for what’s to come.”

“Me too. And then we can bicker over names.”

Her hand caresses my chest. “Do you really think we’ll bicker over names?”

“Well, let’s see. If the baby is a girl, what is your first name choice?”

She’s silent for a second and then says, “I really like Betty. Classic and sweet.”

“Uh-huh, and here I’m thinking Crystal would be a good name.”

“Crystal?” She pushes back to look me in the eyes. “No offense to all nice Crystals out there, but that’s a bonafide stripper name.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Uh . . . google it. Type in top stripper names and see what comes up.”

I grab my phone and type in top stripper names. And sure enough, the first thing that shows up is Crystal, followed by Tiffany and Amber, both names that I think are nice.

“See.” Penny points. “Stripper name.”

“What is the validity of this website anyway? Just because it’s the top link on Google. That means nothing.”

“It means everything. Face it, we’re going to fight over names.”

“Why are we even having this conversation? I thought we figured this out. Peggy Leggy and Johnny Jim.”

She laughs and curls back against my chest. “If you think we’re actually going to name our kid that, you need to seriously rethink every decision in your life.”

“Are you going to hate me if I say they’re starting to grow on me?”

“Yes. Oh my God, Eli, we’re not naming our kid Johnny Jim or Peggy Leggy.”

“You say that now, but when it’s zero hour, and they need a name for the birth certificate, you might be singing a different tune.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“SO YOU, uh, you just show off your belly like that?” I ask, staring down at her exposed stomach.

She chuckles. “Yes.”

“And then Dr. Big Pecs is going to walk in and put his hand all over your stomach?”

“Well, he’ll use a wand thing, but yes, and guess what?” She leans in and whispers, “He’s seen my vagina as well.”

“Why did you have to say that? Now all I’m going to think is that he’s been digging around in there.”

“Well, first of all, there’s been no digging, and second of all, that’s his job.”

“You know what I mean.”

There’s a knock on the door just as Penny whispers, “Be cool.”

The door opens, and low and behold, Dr. Big Pecs comes strutting in, computer in hand, hair slicked back, wearing one of the tightest shirts I’ve ever seen. Well, of course, his pecs will look big when he wears a shirt three sizes too small for him. Can he even breathe in that thing?

“Penny, how are you—” He looks up and makes eye contact with me. “Oh, we haven’t met. I’m Dr. Bigpeckus. You must be the absent father.”

Uh, excuse me? Absent?

That’s a bold fucking statement.

But not wanting to start anything, for Penny’s sake, I brush off the comment and take the man’s hand in mine. “Eli, nice to meet you.”

He studies me for a second and then asks with a tilt of his head, “Eli Hornsby?”

“Yes, sir,” I say out of pure habit.

“Well, no wonder you haven’t been to any of the appointments. You’ve been busy playing hockey.”

What’s this man’s problem? Does he have something against hockey players? I want to ask Penny, but she places her hand on her stomach and says, “I’m glad he’s here for this appointment, the most important.”

“All of them are important, Penny, especially in this new journey you’re going through.”

“I would have been here if I could,” I say, feeling the need to put that out there. “Our schedules never matched up, unfortunately.”

“And now that you were kicked out of the playoffs, you have all the time in the world to dedicate to your baby.” He smiles, but it’s a pompous smile. The type of smile that would get your jersey pulled over your head by the opposing team if you were on the ice. “And of course, Penny, you look amazing.” He places his hand on her stomach, and I know that’s his job, but that doesn’t mean I need to like it.

We know she looks amazing. We don’t need you moving your hands all over her.

“Thank you so much. I feel pretty great. I know all the books say the second trimester is the best, and I really feel like that’s the case with me.”

Hand still on her stomach, he asks, “Are you experiencing a heightened libido?”

How is that an appropriate question?

“Do we need to talk about that?” I ask. “Maybe we can just, you know, get on with the baby X-ray thing.”

Big Pecs looks at me and says, “I know this is your first appointment, but it is common and necessary to talk about everything significant that pertains to her pregnancy, including heightened libido, breast growth, and anything else that might make you uncomfortable. And it’s not a baby X-ray. It’s a sonogram.”

Uh-huh . . . I don’t like this guy.

Penny takes my hand, probably sensing my agitation, and gives it a squeeze before saying, “I have had an increase in libido. Lately, it seems like I can’t get enough. I’m very aroused most of the time.”

So we’re, uh . . . we’re talking about it.

“Has Eli been able to keep up?”

“Yes,” I nearly shout and then realize the volume of my voice. “I mean, yes. Of course I’ve been able to keep up.”

Big Pecs eyes me very seriously before turning back to Penny. “Well, if he can’t, there are ways to get your needs met.”

“I can keep up,” I say with an edge, leaning in closer to Penny now. “Very much capable of taking care of her . . . uh . . . arousal.” I cringe saying the word out loud in such a sterile environment.

“Please, I’d like to hear from Penny.” His goddamn hand is STILL on her stomach. “Is he able to make you orgasm?”

“What kind of question is that?” I interrupt once again. “Of course I can make her orgasm.”

Big Pecs holds his hand up. “First of all, it’s a very important question. It would do her no service if she isn’t able to orgasm. And secondly, I’d like to hear from Penny because even though you might think she has an orgasm, she could be faking it.”

She’s not fucking faking.

I can feel her pussy convulsing around my cock.

Her pussy is always dripping wet.

She nearly kicked me in the face the other night when I was going down on her because her orgasm was so strong.

She’s fucking satisfied, you slicked-back, shirt-too-small prick.

“I’m not faking anything,” Penny says, holding my hand even tighter. “Honestly, I’ve had the best sex of my life with Eli. I’m completely and utterly satisfied. Nothing to worry about on that front.”

“Good,” Big Pecs says while giving me some serious side-eye.

Hear that, motherfucker . . . my girl is satisfied, so go take your goddamn side-eye somewhere else.

Honestly, what is this guy’s problem? Because I couldn’t come to some appointments, he’s going to be a dick? How unprofessional.

Someone is going to get a riveting Google AND Yelp review after this.

Big Pecs is incredibly intrusive, obsessed with holding pregnant bellies, and has a poppyseed tooth. Bedside manner is lacking, shirts far too small for his monster truck chest, and shows blatant hate toward hockey, which is a sin in Vancouver. One out of ten: would not recommend him.

We spend the next few minutes talking about other pregnancy things while I watch his hand move over her belly, smoothing, gliding . . . stroking. The back of my teeth grinds down out of pure, jealous rage. Call me crazy, but I think Big Pecs has it out for me.

Maybe he thinks I’m some deadbeat baby daddy. That could not be further from the truth. I want to meet our baby. And I’ve formed a bond with Penny that I never expected, never believed was possible. Especially for me.

“Okay, so you two want to find out the sex of the baby?” Big Pecs asks.

“We do,” Penny answers, looking me in the eyes. “Right?”

“Right,” I answer.

“Well, I don’t believe you should find out, so I’m going to hold on to that information.” He sets down the sonogram thing in his hand and stands. “You both have a good day.”

Uh . . . what? Penny looks at me with panic and confusion as a wave of fury beats through me in seconds.

First, he’s going to be a dick to me.

Then he’s going to have his hands all over her stomach.

And question my ability to make my girl come . . .

And now this?

Oh no, he fucking doesn’t.

Not on my goddamn watch.

My hockey aggression rises to the surface as I stand from my chair and say, “We didn’t ask what you wanted. We’re telling you what we want to happen, and as people who are paying your goddamn bills, you will provide us with a service. Now tell us the sex of the baby, you big pec-ed motherfucker.”

The words flow right out of me, unfiltered, straight from the inner beast inside me as my fists clench at my sides.

This guy wants to try to tell us what to do. Well, he’s going to have to go through me first.

“Eli.” Penny tugs on me.

“No,” I say to her. “I’m not going to let this guy dick us around.” I pick up the sonogram wand, shove it at him, and say, “You fucking tell us if this baby has a vagina or a penis right fucking now, or I’m going to show you what it’s like to be defended by me on the ice.”

“Eli, please.”

Big Pecs holds his hands up and says, “Slow down there, big guy.” Throwing down the big guy, yeah, I’ll show him just who the big guy is. “It’s a joke I play on my patients. It’s just a joke. Of course I’m going to tell you the sex of your baby.”

You would think that would defuse me, but it doesn’t.

“It’s not a fucking funny joke. Usually, people laugh at jokes. Do you see anyone laughing? Not to mention, it’s incredibly unprofessional. You’ve been a total nightmare this entire visit, and it’s taking everything in me not to slam you against the wall for the way you’ve spoken to me, the way you’ve degraded me in front of Penny, and this—”

Penny tugs on my arm. “Eli. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay, Penny. He’s been dicking us around.”

“Eli.” Her eyes meet mine. “He’s been joking this whole time.”

Wait . . . what?

Big Pecs holds his hands up still, looking more startled than anything. “Penny asked me to give you a hard time, said you were feeling inferior about your chest compared to mine. I thought it was funny, so I went along with it.”

She . . . uh . . . she what?

I glance down at her, and she winces. “Sorry.” She attempts to smile. “Got . . . you.”

I sit in my seat, nostrils flared, and turn toward her. “I hate you.”

She chuckles. “No, you don’t.”

“Right now. I do.”

She wraps her hand behind my neck and brings me to her, where she presses a gentle kiss to my lips. “You don’t hate me,” she whispers.

I groan and kiss her one more time before saying, “No . . . I don’t.”

When we part, Big Pecs holds his hand out to me, and reluctantly, I give it a shake. “Sorry, but it was all her idea. For the record, huge fan, man. Sorry about the loss. I was really hoping you guys could bring The Cup home this year.”

Still salty toward the man, I say, “Yeah, well, next year maybe.”

He nods and then clasps his hands together. “And I guess congratulations are in order. You’re having a boy.” He turns on the monitor and circles a portion of the baby. “Right here, clear as day, he’s spread-eagled showing off his manhood.”

And just like that, the anger and irritation drain away. An odd sense of pride surges through me as I look closely while Penny says, “Just like his father.”

I chuckle as she loops her arm around mine.

Big Pecs prints out a few pictures and then lets us clean Penny up in private. She reaches for the wet towel, but I stop her and take the cloth in hand. “You, ma’am, are in so much fucking trouble.”

She lets out a long thread of chuckles. “I’m sorry, but things have been so weird and up and down. I haven’t pranked you in a bit. I really wanted to lighten things up between us.”

“Lighten things up? Penny, I almost checked your doctor into the wall.”

She covers her mouth and chuckles some more. “I think I saw steam come out of your ears, but I’ll say this, it was really hot seeing you stand up for me like that.” Her hand falls to my cheek, only for her thumb to pass over my bottom lip. “Really freaking sexy, Eli.”

I wiggle my eyebrows at her. “Turned on, are ya?”

She nods her head. “Very.”

“Good, I’ll be sure to take the long way home so you don’t have any relief anytime soon. Serves you right for putting me through that shit.”

“Where’s your sense of humor?”

“Something you should know. Don’t fuck with the things I care about, and I care about you, Penny.”

Her eyes soften, and she wets her lips before saying, “And you care about our son.”

My heart warms immediately, and all the irritation falls to the wayside as the word “son” starts to sink in.

“Holy shit,” I say, gripping her hand. “We’re having a boy, Penny.”

“I know.” She smiles, and it’s the most beautiful, genuine smile I’ve ever seen. “We’re having a little boy, Eli.”

I bring my forehead to hers, where I rest it and press a gentle kiss to her lips. “The little guy is going to be like me, I know it. He’s going to be such a troublemaker.”

“No.” She gently shakes her head. “He’s going to be kind-hearted, funny, and handsome . . . just like his father.”

I’m not one to cry, really ever, but as I stare into Penny’s eyes, relief and appreciation pulse through me. I am so fortunate that she’s the one I’m going through this journey with. She makes me feel wanted, like I’m not a damaged soul trying to navigate his way through life, but rather someone who can contribute to this world and not just through his hockey talent.

“Fuck, Penny.” Tears well up. “You mean so much to me, do you know that?”

She smiles. “No, but it’s really good to hear.”