The Wolf Of Penshaw Lake

I wasn’t in bed. My bed had soft sheets made of luxury cotton, a thick duvet that could cocoon me and envelope me until I fell asleep and two thick pillows that elevated me slightly yet currently I felt as though I was lying completely flat on my back. I thought about what my fingers were touching and could feel the comforter that was lying just below my breasts; the material thin, unfamiliar and scratchy.

Plus there was this incessant beeping noise at my left side and I wanted nothing more than to fling my arm out and stop whatever it was. It couldn’t be my alarm since I changed my alarm sound to whichever song I liked that month. I tried to move my arm, but it stayed stubbornly by my side, so instead I tried wiggling my toes, panic beginning to flood through me as I wondered exactly where I was and what had happened.

Was I dead?

Was this death? An endless black nothing where I had only my thoughts to keep me company?

Oh and that irritating beeping noise.

This had to be hell.

I didn’t think I deserved hell, surely God or whoever was up there would take pity on me.

Once again, I tried moving and this time my toes began to wiggle slowly, followed by my fingers, followed by another noise at the side of my bed that was much better to hear than the beeping sound. Also, it sent relief through my body that I was most likely, probably, wasn’t dead.

“Heidi? Heidi can you hear me?”

I attempted to reply, but all that would leave my mouth was a moaning noise and I was suddenly aware of how hoarse and sore my throat felt. I needed water badly and wished I could just tell someone.

Then my eyes opened.

Bright, white florescent lighting invaded my senses and I immediately closed my eyes again, welcoming the dark if only for a second, before I opened them once more, taking my time and blinking to adjust them to the harsh lighting and stark white that surrounded me. It wasn’t hard to understand that I was in a hospital. I turned my head and noticed that my right hand was grasped tightly in another, the fingers devouring mine and I knew instantly who was holding it.

“Mason?” I muttered quietly, the small sound making me cough lightly, I wondered how long I had been out.

“I’m here,” He replied, stroking a hand over my hair and leaning down to kiss my forehead. “I’m here.”

“Water?” I asked, I was too consumed by the thirst to begin asking any of the other multitude of questions that were beginning to swim in circles around my brain.

“I’ve already pressed for the nurse when I saw you move. She’s coming,” He reassured me.

As he spoke, the door to my room opened and a couple of people flooded in, most notably was a young early-thirties woman who came to my bedside with a big smile on her face.

“I’m glad you’re awake Heidi, I’m Alina and I’ve been in charge of your care,” She began before turning to another nurse stood awkwardly behind her, “Freddie, can you remove the IV in her hand please?”

The other nurse nodded, placing a wad of cotton wool on my hand as he gently pulled out the needle, taping the wool to my hand to stop any bleeding. I winced as he did so and he apologised, a small blush appearing on his cheeks. I assumed he was a student judging by how careful and apologetic he was. Alina busied herself taking stickers off my chest, albeit not as gently as Freddie had been and Mason tensed by my side, his fingers squeezing my own as he had not yet let go of my hand.

“I’m going to leave this pulse oximeter on your finger just so I can continue to measure your oxygen levels. I’m just going to take your blood pressure and-”

I stopped listening as she began listing tests she wanted to undertake now that I was awake. My mind began to remember what had happened in the past week and suddenly I wanted to be back in my world of darkness where nothing could hurt me anymore. I could forget about the thirst if it meant that I didn’t have to remember what Dan did to me on a loop.

The pressure cuff on my arm shocked me back to reality and the pain was something I really didn’t want to experience anymore. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to send my thoughts spiraling. Without thinking, I reached over and gripped the nurses’ fingers and tried to prise off the cuff to stop it from hurting. She made an ‘ow’ sound and jumped away as Mason grabbed my hands in his, turning me around to look at him.

“It’s okay, it’s just a blood pressure cuff, you’re safe now.”

I took a few deep breaths, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes as I looked down at the scratchy blanket that was still tucked neatly around me despite my outburst.

“The tests can wait can’t they?” Mason asked, his tone implying that he wasn’t really asking a question. “She needs some water and rest.”

Mason must have had some authority over her, either that or he just scared her, because she scurried off with the student nurse, Freddie, tucking his tail behind her.

“Di-did you find me?” I asked, my memory fuzzy and black. The last thing I remembered being the sound of gunshots, my ears still fainting ringing and the sound echoing in every corner of my mind.

“They were loading you onto a stretcher when we got there, I’m so sorry I’ll never forgive myself for not finding you sooner.”

I sent him a small, brave smile as I noticed his eyes brimming with tears, “Don’t blame yourself, Dan was clever and he had over a year to plan this. None of us could anticipate what happened.”

Mason sat gingerly on the side of my bed, “You don’t have to be brave you know? If you want to cry, scream or talk about it, I’m here. I don’t want you to pretend everything is okay, especially not with me. Okay?”

I nodded, taking a moment to reply as I gathered my thoughts, “I’m not sure how to feel right now,” I whispered.

“That’s okay too. Do you want to see your mum? I said I was your husband so I was allowed in the room, she’s been here the whole time, I think she just went down to the canteen. Shall I get her or would you prefer me to stay?”

“Mum’s ok?” I cried, tears beginning to pool in my eyes, making my sight blur.

“Yes, we got to her before we released you were taken,” Mason affirmed.

The nurse reentered with a cup and I released my hand from his, “you can go,” I said, my voice sounding a lot more confident than I felt, “I want to see her.”

Mason nodded, taking my face his hands and pressing a light kiss on my lips, “I won’t be long I promise. I’ve got Isaac stood outside your door too, so you’re more than safe in here okay?”

I sent him a smile, “I’m alright.”

As Mason left, I curled my arms around myself as goosebumps appeared on my skin. I felt eternal relief that mum was alright, I just hoped that Mason got to her before the wolves could hurt her and that she wouldn’t be too traumatized after how hard she worked to recover from Dan. I wondered if they revealed their true nature to her, if she saw the sharp snap of teeth, or felt the razor pain from their claws. I wanted to shield her from that, but I wasn’t sure if keeping her in the dark was the right thing to do anymore.

The nurse smiled at me, as though I hadn’t just tried to assault her moments earlier. She handed me the cup gently and told me to take small sips. Annoyingly, I did as I was told even though my body was screaming at me to gulp it down and then ask for another.

“I’m sorry,” I said sheepishly as the nurse checked the monitor quietly, as though she was afraid of me.

“Don’t be hon, you’ve been through the wars and I’ve had patients do a lot worse than you. I wouldn’t blame you for any action you took, believe me.”

“Wh-what was the worst?” I asked, making small talk would be the best way to take my mind off of Dan and think about something, anything, else.

“Ooo, well I had somebody throw a cup of coffee in my face once and that really burned. Another was a drunk guy who was brought into A and E, he was a huge lad and he attempted to strangle me as I changed a dressing on his arm. He had mental health problems too, a shame really. I never try and blame the patient, almost always they’ve got a war going on inside and my job is to try and help that heal, even if I am just a friendly face and a cup of water.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you honest I just-” I broke off as the nurse placed an arm on my shoulder, but we both turned as the door banged open and my sobbing mother rushed towards me and grabbed me into her arms as she cried on my shoulder.

Strangely, I couldn’t feel tears come to my eyes, so instead I simply wrapped my arms around her and patted her back, as though she was the one who needed comforting. Maybe she was, I wasn’t entirely in control of my emotions at that moment.

“I’m ok mum, really. You can stop crying.”

She held me at arms length and studied my face through her own blurry, red-rimmed eyes. Looking up at the nurse she frowned, “Is she?”

I sighed, “Mum I’m right here.”

“I know, but...” She paused, “Medically.”

Alina nodded, “Heidi is very resilient. She has shown great improvement since she’s been here and all her vital signs are normal today. When she was asleep, did the doctor take you through her injuries?”

“Yes, she’s still showing signs of healing?”

“Heidi,” The nurse turned to me, obviously noticing my distaste for not being including in their conversation. “I know this is a sensitive subject for you, but would you like to hear about your injuries and how they are healing? I have got a psychologist and a doctor coming in to see you...” She checked the time on her watch, “Any moment now. But before they arrive, would you like to know or not?”

“I think I know...” I muttered.

“Of course you do, you were there, it’s okay we don’t have to discuss anything right now,” Alina replied hurriedly.

“I think this is all getting a bit much, can the doctor not come in tomorrow?” Mason asked, once again taking his place by the side of my bed and taking one of my hands.

“No-” I stopped him, “I want to go home today, if I speak to the doctor can I go home today?” I asked the nurse.

“I’m not at liberty to say Heidi, I would love to send you home but that’s at the discretion of the doctor.”

“I have the right to discharge myself though right? I don’t have to stay here if I don’t want to?”

The machine beside me began beeping as my heart rate increased, it was a hospital and I knew that, but something in me was panicking about yet another choice being taken from me.

“You do,” The nurse said slowly, “But I would strongly advise against it, just until we know that you’re healthy enough.”

“Listen to the nurse and doctor babe, they know best for you,” Mum added, stroking my arm.

I breathed out slowly through my nose and shook my head, “We lived with Dan for years mum and we never knew what he was. He was psychotic, but damn he was smart. Do you know he told me that he never revealed himself because he was having too much fun with us and he was so eager for me to grow up...” I paused as I realised I had no idea why I was saying all this, especially with Alina still stood silently at my side, and the fact that mum didn’t know that lycans existed, but it was like word vomit and I couldn’t stop.

“That he wanted to kill me so many times, that his...other side was unpredictable but he kept it downjustso he could have me when I got old enough. Dan was never going to let us go, he said Mason might be my mate but I washis.I survived listening to my instincts and going along with him, because one wrong move and I would be dead meat. So, no, the doctors don’t know what is best for me, you don’t know what is best for me. I do. I am going to make my own choices and decisions from here on out. Got it?”

“Of course babe,” Mum reassured me, stroking my hair. The motion irritated me, I felt suffocated by her hands, but I said nothing instead mulling over my words in my head, automatically feeling ashamed of my outburst.

I took another sip of my water, feeling relieved as the soreness in my throat began to ebb. I was now more aware of a dull pounding in the back of my head and I closed my eyes, absentmindedly reaching around to touch it. Feeling a lump, pain shot through me and I took my hand away as though it had been burned.

“Do you want some painkillers?” Alina asked, “I’ve taken out your IV’s now, so I can give you some paracetamol and ibuprofen?”

“Yes please,” I nodded eagerly, I wasn’t about to pass up pain relief, I had been in pain for far too long.

Alina left to fetch the drugs and I turned to Mason who hadn’t left my side since. His face contorted with worry and stress, I could spot the tiredness in his eyes, paired with heavy, black bags under his eyes. Hair unkempt both on his head and his beard, it looked as though he hadn’t slept, washed or shaved in a week. I reached up with my hand to cup his cheek and he smiled, leaning into my embrace and closing his eyes.

“Mum...I think there’s something you need to know about Dan,” I said suddenly, the words tumbling from my mouth before I had a chance to stuff them back in and truly think about what I was going to say. I hadn’t even asked for Mason’s permission, not that I thought he’d tell me off in my current state of mind.

“He was a werewolf I know,” She replied quietly.

“Lycan,” Mason corrected.

My eyes bulged out of my head at her revelation and I struggled to sit myself up straighter, using my elbows to attempt to lean forwards. Mason helped by pulling the pillow back and using the bed remote to angle the bed vertically.

“H-how?”

“I think we have a lot of talking to do, but I want you to rest,” Mum replied softly, taking my hand in hers. “We can talk about everything when you get home.”

I sighed, but from the look in her determined eyes, I knew I wasn’t going to win this one.

“Fine.”