The Puck Secret (Fairfield U Book 1)

My mouth is dry and my thighs wet, as Nova leads me back out of the stacks with my retrieved book in hand. He pulls out my chair forcing me to take a seat, before he takes a spot opposite me silently. Then he pulls out his own books and begins to study as I stare at him wordlessly, not sure of how we got here. We fucked again, and it’s as if every time I let him inside my body, a piece of him slips inside my heart, and that’s the problem. I can’t do this with him, I can’t do this with anyone, and yet, for the first time ever, I really really want to.

I watch him for a few minutes, and apart from a few little knowing smirks pulling at the corner of his mouth every time he glances up and catches me staring, he remains focused on his work. That’s the only thing that allows me to return to my own, and unlike before I feel completely at ease as I go back to writing my essay from earlier.

By the time I am finished, two hours have gone by, and when I look up I find most of the library has emptied out, and Nova is now watching me quietly, his own books already closed. He is looking at me as if watching me study is the most fascinating thing in the entire world to him, like he wants to rip me apart and know every one of my secrets, and I feel that familiar buzz of anxiety beneath the surface of my skin.

“What are you staring at, Darkmore?” I attempt for my voice to sound casual and like the usual way I address him, but even I can hear the breathiness to it and I curse internally at myself.

“Just picturing my cock between those perfect tits,” he drawls, that usual signature smirk perfectly in place on his lips, and the blush to my cheeks is instant.

How the fuck did we get here?

I pack up my books with a huff, trying and failing to keep my own smile at bay before I quip, “Well stop it, this thing between us isn’t happening.”

Nova rolls his eyes, taking my bag from me as I stand and slinging it over his own shoulder, leaving me no choice but to follow him as he moves to leave. “Whatever you say, Princess.” I feel eyes on us from the few people still lingering around, as I follow Nova outside. I am grateful to spot Julian waiting by the curb to give me a ride home, and as if on instinct, Nova eyes him coolly with a little nod of his head. “I’ll be seeing you, Peters,” is all he adds, giving me my bag back, before turning on his heels and stalking off into the night.

I’m not ashamed to admit my gaze lingers on him until he disappears, and when I approach Julian, he eyes me with a knowing stare, but remains silent as he opens the door for me to climb inside. I try to focus my thoughts as he drives us across town, but all I can think about is the feel of Nova’s eyes on me, both in and out of the stacks. I already know I am in too deep with him, but the problem is, I don’t want to find a way out, even when I know I should.

Fuck. I’m in so much trouble.

The next few days pass in a blur of classes and an unbearable family dinner with the Thorne’s, and I feel like the walls are truly closing in on me. My only solace seems to be the brooding hockey player with the knowing eyes and the rough hands. I haven’t spoken to Nova since we left the library the other night, but I have seen him in passing a few times, and every time his eyes burn across every inch of my skin like he is imagining undressing me. The way he looks at me makes me feel alive, makes me feel wanted, makes me feel worth more than just becoming someone’s wife. Nova looks at me and sees Maddie, the real one. Gone is the disgust of being the Mayor’s daughter, and in its place is the dirty little secret we both now share.

Then there is my Charmer, the mysterious stranger who has also dug his way into my heart, much to my dismay. I’m on the way to the lunch hall to meet Hallie when I check my phone for the hundredth time today, only to find there is still no new message from him. Our texts have been few and far between the last few days, and I can’t help but feel our connection is finally breaking down, especially since we have both alluded to other people being in our lives. I knew it would happen, I knew it was inevitable, but what I didn’t know is how attached I had become to his virtual presence in my life.

I try to remind myself that this is for the best, that I can’t be getting attached to anyone, not when my engagement is going to be announced next month. But it doesn’t help my mood, and I can’t stop myself from sending him another message even when I know I shouldn’t.

Maddie: I miss your giant ego!

When I finally make it to the dining hall, I practically throw myself into the chair beside my best friend, making her yelp. “Oh my god, Wendy, don’t sneak up on me like that, you almost gave me a heart attack.” Too upset to actually respond, I reach over and steal half of her sandwich from her tray, and I feel her eyeing me with worry. “What’s wrong?” When I still don’t answer her, she sighs, sliding over a piece of cake from her lunch tray too.

“Thank you,” I reluctantly grumble under my breath, slowly finishing off the food I stole, as I let my eyes move around the hall.

Josh is sitting at the usual hockey tables with his teammates, which much to my surprise includes Nova. Okay, so they are sitting at opposite ends of the table, but still, with the hatred between them I find it hard to see them close together. Of course they are all surrounded by their usual pack of puck bunnies, and I try not to let jealousy churn inside my gut as one of them strokes her hand across number nineteen’s shoulder.

My brother is the first to spot me, waving in our direction, causing a few of his friends to turn our way too. By the time Nova notices me, the girl at his side has too, and the scowl she offers me causes me to drop my head, but before I can turn my attention back to Hallie, that voice that whispered filthy things in my ear, booms across the cafeteria.

“Looking good today, Princess Peters! Why don’t you come over here and sit on my lap?” Nova’s tone is casual and taunting, the one I am most used to, and when my eyes meet his, he is wearing that new knowing smirk of his.

I have to suppress the blush I can feel creeping up my neck as I shove my middle finger in the air. “Get fucked, Nineteen!” I curse back, flipping him off and making his teammates laugh.

“Only if you’re the one offering, Princess,” he tosses back, and I swear the girl at his side looks like she is about to combust, as does my brother.

“Nova, I swear,” Josh starts, rising to his feet, and to my surprise, Daemon is the one to stand up next to him, placing a firm hand on his shoulder and whispering something into his ear. Nova doesn’t bother watching their exchange, his eyes staying fixed on me, and this time when I drop my head it’s because I can’t hide the blush.

This is bad. Worse than bad, and I have no idea what to do. Turning my attention to my best friend, I exhale a deep breath. “I’m in trouble, Hals,” I sigh, twisting my body to look at her fully. “I’m going to admit something, just once, and then I never want to talk about it again, okay?”

She is already smirking at me, as if she can read every thought in my mind, and as my best friend she probably can. I just need to say the words once and then smash them back down into my body and forget I ever did. I take a deep breath before I whisper, “I like him.”

Hallie nods, that insufferable smirk still in place. “Like who?” she asks innocently. “Your stalker turned Charmer, or the sexy hockey player whose baguette you ate.” I groan at her response, to which she only smiles harder.

“Both,” I admit, more to myself than to her, before I hastily add, “But this is the last time we are ever talking about it.”

Her smile is still in place as she nods, before I watch it disappear, and a look of hatred take its place. “Well, that’s good because speaking of trouble,” she grunts, eyes lifting over my head with a look of disdain, and I barely even get a chance to turn around before a firm grip finds my arm.

“A word, darling,” Brad spits through his teeth, pulling me to my feet and across the hall towards the doors. I feel eyes watching us from every angle, but my attention snaps to one person in particular, and I don’t miss the anger and confusion now marking his features.

Brad doesn’t stop until we are outside of the cafeteria and away from prying eyes, and when he finally does, I can already feel the bruise his grip will leave behind. His temper tantrums are something I have become familiar with in the last month. It’s always constant snide remarks under his breath every time our father’s backs are turned, but this is different. This is like the night of the party all over again, like him marking his territory and making sure everyone knows I’m his. He doesn’t care that the announcement hasn’t been made, the decision was enough for him. He thinks I belong to him now.

“What the hell is your problem now?” I spit, pulling myself from his hold and spinning around to look at him. He looks angry, hell, in fact, he looks downright pissed, but I don’t care, because so am I.

“My problem seems to be my whore of a fiancée,” he snaps, pushing me against the wall and enclosing me in. “It appears she doesn’t know how to behave to ensure people know who she belongs to.” His hand reaches up to curl an escaped hair around my ear, his own blond locks tousled on his head in an obnoxious way only he could manage. His words don’t affect me, but his proximity does.

I bat his hand away with a flick of my own. “I’m not your fiancée yet, so how about you refrain from pissing on me until my hand is shackled with your goddamn ring,” I seethe, pushing against him until he is forced to take a step back.

Brad doesn’t relent, running a hand through his hair as his stare bores into mine, looking slightly unhinged. “If you don’t start behaving yourself, Madeline, I’ll…”

A familiarly lethal tone cuts him off, “Be careful how you finish that fucking sentence, Thorne.” Both our heads snap towards Josh, who is watching Brad with a cool arrogance that only my brother could possess, and as always, I am grateful for his presence.

“This is between me and my fiancée,” Brad responds coolly, clawing back some of his relaxed demeanor as if everything is fine.

“Well, like my sister just said, she isn’t wearing your ring yet, so do us both a favor and fuck off.” His tone remains casual, unaffected even, but I can see the vein along his neck pulsing, that underlying wrath he always carries, burning just beneath the surface waiting to come out and play. And thankfully, Brad sees it too.

He looks between the two of us with a sigh as he walks backward a few steps. “I’ll be seeing you, darling,” is all he responds before turning on his heels and storming away.

Josh and I both watch him leave, before my brother closes the distance between us and tips my chin towards him. “You okay, kid?” I roll my eyes at that, straightening my shoulders as much as I can manage.

“Of course I am, I can handle Bradley Thorne,” I say with as much confidence as I can muster, because it’s becoming clear to me that I can’t, and worse, in little over a month I will be wearing his ring.

“You shouldn’t have to fucking handle him,” Josh spits, his anger towards our father coming out at me instead. “You shouldn’t have to be anywhere fucking near him.” I don’t bother arguing with him, he’s right, I know it and he knows it, but unfortunately for me, my father doesn’t seem to care.

“Well, there isn’t much I can do about it, is there,” I sigh, exhausted from the day already, and an afternoon of classes still to attend. I don’t exactly have the time to weigh up the options I don’t have, or a way to overcome them.

“No, but maybe there is something I can do,” Josh mutters under his breath, and before I can ask what he means, he turns the opposite way from where he came and leaves. “I’ll catch you later, Mads, there is somewhere I need to be.”

Shaking my head in disbelief, I watch after him for a few seconds, before I take a deep breath to calm myself and head back towards the cafeteria, only to stop when I am greeted with another familiar face. Nova is leaning on the door that leads into the dining hall, watching me silently. I’m not sure how long he has been standing there for, but from the look on his face, I would guess it’s long enough to have seen the majority of what just occurred.

I close the distance between us, but before I can open my mouth to say anything, Nova beats me to it. “Your boyfriend’s a real dick, Princess.” His tone is sharp, but nowhere near as playful as usual, and if I’m not mistaken, I would say he sounds jealous. I ignore the wicked thrill that gives me and keep my face impassive.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I reply weakly, mostly because I can’t think of anything else to say, and Nova just laughs.

“Right, or something, I remember,” he shakes his head, throwing the words I said to him about Brad that night he walked me home back in my face. “He’s not even your type,” he adds in an accusing tone.

“You don’t know what my type is,” I snap, a little too quickly, and it only makes him take a step closer to me, erasing more of the distance left between us.

“Pass me a mirror, Princess, and I’ll show you.” That flirty smirk returns to his face, but when I don’t respond, he softens, adding quietly, “Does he know how much I like you?”

Tears burn at the back of my eyes at how casually he admits that, especially after everything that has happened between us and our families. I want to take his words and wrap them around me, beg him to say them to me again and again, but that will only make things worse, so I swallow the lump in my throat and toss them back at him.

“Please, you don’t like me, you just take some insane pleasure in fucking the Mayor’s daughter as some messed up way at getting back at him.” It’s similar to what I said to him in the library, playing on our past to push him away, but in truth, it isn’t our past that makes me say it. My words pull on an insecurity deep inside of me, a hard thing to beat when you are constantly only seen one way.

“Oh yeah?” Nova asks, stalking towards me. “Is that what you think, Princess?” His hand reaches out and latches onto the belt on my pants, tugging me until I fall against his chest. “Then tell me why every time I look at you I feel like an addict desperate for their next fix,” he whispers, his mouth almost against my own. “That I feel like I am drowning but then I see you and I can finally breathe. I literally crave everything about you, Madeline Peters.”

One of his hands flattens against the base of my spine, and the other cups my cheek, tilting my head until our eyes are connected. I thought I had my heart locked up and hidden away, strong against anything that might come its way, but every word he just said was like a sharpened knife against my defenses. Hacking away at them until the only thing that exists is him. I want to kiss him, to claim him and take him as my own, but who I end up with isn’t my choice, not if I want my degree, my future. I can’t do this, but as I look up into his eyes, I know I feel the same way he does, even if I can’t say it out loud.

So, instead of saying what I really want to say, I bring my own hands up and push gently on his chest. “You need to stop, someone is going to see us together.” The truth is that’s the least of my worries, but it’s better than admitting my actual truth.

Nova just smirks even wider, his smile so bright it physically pains me to look at it, especially when I am the reason. “Princess, I don’t give a fuck who sees. I will march you back in there and bend you over the table and fuck you in front of every single one of them, including your precious not boyfriend, just to show them all who you really belong to.”

My thighs tighten at his words, and thankfully before I have to answer him, the doors to the cafeteria burst open, and Archer, Alexander, and Hallie all appear, the latter holding my bag, and her eyes traveling over me in a panic.

“There’s my favorite hard-on inducing couple,” Archer jokes, tossing us both a wink, and I don’t even have the energy to refute him.

“Are you coming to class?” Hallie jumps in, offering me a much needed out, but still I can’t seem to keep my gaze from straying back to Nova.

“Yeah, Maddie, are you coming?” he asks, his real smile gone and only a small tug of his lips at the corner of his mouth remaining.

“Yes, I’m coming,” I reply, before shaking my head from the daze he seems to put me in. “I mean, I’m going.” This time I don’t have to push him, his hands drop away from me, and I take a step out of his embrace and move towards my best friend.

“We should get to class too,” Alexander adds, looking between his two teammates and purposely avoiding my gaze.

Hallie thankfully takes pity on me and ends the conversation with all three of them. “Okay, see you later,” she drags out, leading me away like a damn toddler, until we are far enough away from them that they can no longer hear us. “I’m gonna need you to tell me everything! What the hell happened?” she demands, and when we round the corner and come to a stop, I feel like I can finally breathe again.

My eyes meet hers, and she is looking at me expectantly, waiting for an answer. What the hell happened? Her question runs through my mind along with a million of my own until all I can respond is, “Honestly, Hals, I have no idea.”