The Many Faces of Tully

I get blood all over my door handle, but I blink and it disappears. I take a hot shower and try to scrub all the blood away. I scrub at my finger nails and scrub at my face. I don’t want to think right now. I don’t know what to think.

I get out of the shower a lot sooner than I want to. I put on fresh clothes and brush my hair out. I glance at my reflection and I’m not even surprised to see that it didn’t change. I morphed back without shedding or anything and I think that’s the key to my appearance change.

I put my hair up in a messy bun to keep it out of my face. I sit down on the floor and lean my back against my bed post. I stare at my hands that are limp in my lap. My legs are stretched out in front of me and I hunch my shoulders.

I honestly don’t know what to think about what happened. I mean, I got to kiss Jace, and not that it was a bad kiss but I hated it. I desperately want to kiss Jace, but not in front of everyone like that, and just after I disfigured two men.

He only kissed me because he had to, right? I know I was losing a lot of blood so I did need to be healed, so that was it right? Did he want to kiss me? No, he didn’t. Not like that. That was so embarrassing, for both of us. That wasn’t right.

I’m frowning at my hands. They’re going to tease the both of us mercilessly. I can handle teasing, but still. I don’t know what to feel right now.

There’s a soft knock on my door. I stand up and walk towards it. I open it and Jace is there. He’s looking at his feet and has his hands buried in his pockets. He squeezes into my room and I step back to let him. He steps around the door and leans back against it so it closes. He never takes his eyes off his feet.

He doesn’t say anything, so I don’t either. I turn and lean my back against the wall perpendicular to him. I stick my thumbs into my pockets and stare at his feet too. Maybe they will give us something to say. I don’t know if there is anything to say.

Jace takes a deep breath and takes his hands out of his pockets. He reaches forward and hooks my belt loop with his pointer finger. He tugs on it slightly and my stomach flutters. He tugs on it harder this time and I let him pull me to him.

I stare at his chest now. I’ve always wanted to touch it with my hands, to feel how sturdy it is. I take my thumbs from my pockets and splay my fingers across his chest. It’s stronger than I thought, but it’s soft too. It’s the perfect chest. It’s strong enough to protect, but soft enough to comfort. Why is he so perfect?

He lifts up his hand and I feel his finger curl underneath my chin and force me to look up at him. His eyes shift between mine and he doesn’t move his hand from beneath my chin. He moves his face slowly and surely towards me and I close my eyes.

His lips press to mine. Softer than before. Sweeter than before. Butterflies erupt in my stomach. His lips don’t turn hot this time and there is no glowing green light. I slide my hands up his chest and behind his neck. He moves his hand from my chin and loops his finger through my other belt loop. He pulls my hips into him and I curve my body into his.

He kisses me over and over again, and each kiss feels better than the last. My butterflies never seem to go away because every time he pulls his lips away and then presses them to mine again they start fluttering again.

I don’t ever want to stop kissing him. I know people say you’re supposed to see fireworks when you kissed or something, but I don’t while kissing Jace. Kissing Jace makes me feel so much better than seeing silly fireworks. And I don’t mean feel physically, but emotionally. I feel alive. I feel whole.

I know how parents say to their kids that their kisses have magical healing powers and they can take all the pain away when you get a booboo. With Jace that is true. He did heal me with a kiss but that’s not what I’m referring too. I’ve never felt so good in my life, and not good as in happy, pleased, or euphoric. I mean good like pure, nice, the opposite of evil.

Each time I’ve killed someone, I felt like a piece of me died with them. A piece of my soul just blackened, burnt, gone, making me evil. With each kiss I feel as if Jace is healing my soul, and making it white again. Taking away evil and slowly, ever so slowly, making me good again.

This is the same but entirely different as how Peter made me feel. Peter made me feel like I could be good. Jace is making me good. His words are one thing, but his kisses are a wholly different thing.

I don’t know how long we lean up against my door kissing but he finally pulls his face away from mine. I can feel the pout on my lips and he laughs slightly. I look up at him and his eyes are all lit up. He looks like a kid who finally got the thing he wanted most. He looks like he feels on top of the world. That’s flattering.

“That should have been the first time we kissed,” he says to me, grinning. I can’t help but smile back. “And I’m really sorry about that back there. If I could have healed you in any other way, I would have. I couldn’t see you in pain anymore and I had to heal you before you bled any more. I-”

“It’s okay,” I cut him off. “I think you just made up for it. And it was the only logical way you could think of. It was effective too. You needed to heal me and you did, so moot point,” I say.

“You know you’re sexy as hell when you talk all sophisticated,” he tells me and I blush. “And are you sure I made up for it? I mean, it would be an arduous task but I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of the day, night, or forever trying to make up for it.” He smirks.

“I guess you can spend a little more time making up for it, and for any future mistakes you might make,” I joke. He smiles but kisses me again.

“I’m not one for making mistakes. If you haven’t noticed I’m always right,” he says smugly.

“Well aren’t you cocky?” I tease him. He is always right. “Oh, before I forget, is everyone alright? Elsu, Hutsi, and Gunther?” I’m worried about them.

“Yeah, they’re fine. I healed them up perfectly. Took me a little bit. Remind me to never get on your bad side.” He’s still holding on to my belt loops.

“Then I suggest you don’t attack me or hurt me in any way,” I warn him. It’s the truth. I can’t control my powers. They have a mind of their own. Except when it comes to Jace. He makes me gain control again.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He smiles and then kisses me again. “I would much rather stay here kissing you all day but, unfortunately, I am famished and need to get something to eat,” he complains.

“I’m pretty hungry too.” I smile.

“Shall we go eat?” he offers.

“We shall,” I agree. He grabs my hand and pulls me out of my room. He laces his fingers with mine as we walk towards the kitchen. His hands are exactly how I expected them to be. Soft but sturdy. Strong and comforting. He really is exactly what I need. I had no chance trying to stay away from him. Opposites do attract.