The Alpha's Daydream

“Savannah! You get right back here and listen to your father.”

“But he’s just gone out the back, muttering something about an emergency with Uncle Roman and Uncle Benny,” Savannah skipped out of the kitchen, away from her mother who was trying not to get angry with her gleeful attitude. But there was no way Chesca was going to let her oldest daughter get away without a stern talking to.

“Alright, then sit down. Looks like I’ll have to do this.” Chesca took a seat at the table and waited until Savannah had trudged back and slumped in the opposite chair.

“Do you need me here for this?” Miranda asked as she finished making herself some coffee. She had spent a quiet evening with the Alphas’ family, and enjoyed playing with the children. Right now she balanced Isaiah on one hip, her coffee in the other hand, and navigated her way around the toys on the floor. Isaiah waved a book in the air, threatening to knock her in the face in his enthusiasm to hear the bedtime story.

Chesca glanced at her friend who had grown more dear over the years. “No, you go ahead and read him his story. He’ll get cranky if you don’t.” She blew on her little pup’s toes as he passed, then waved them on to the living room. Snuggling up on the couch and reading stories together with the girls was one of her favourite things to do. It not only relaxed the energetic children before bed, but also gave her a chance to get off her feet.

Patting her very swollen belly, she assured herself her unborn baby was happy before giving her attention back to Savannah. The eleven year old was fidgeting in her chair, obviously dreading the talk with her mom. Everyone knew Chesca could be more stern than Kaiden when it came to disciplining their children. She loved them to bits and wanted them to grow up to be honest and hard-working, kind and trustworthy. Letting them get away with bad behaviour was not her idea of loving them.

“So tell me,” she schooled her face into a serious expression, and Savannah swallowed back her dismay. “Did you really put gum in Justin’s hair?”

“It was only a tiny bit!” her daughter instantly defended herself, and Chesca frowned.

“Do you know how long it too Kira to get it out? After washing it with soap and shampoo and even turpentine, it still didn’t come out. She eventually had to cut his hair off.”

Savannah couldn’t help letting out a snicker. “I know! And now he doesn’t have a fringe and looks ridiculous!”

“This is not a laughing matter,” Chesca tried not to laugh also, but stayed focused on the serious issue. Kira had eventually given Justin an allover shave to even out the haircut, but that was besides the point. “What did Justin ever do for you to stick gum in his hair?” She was growing exasperated with all the shenanigans her daughter kept playing on her friends. Though most were harmless, she didn’t want them to get out of hand.

“Something terrible, I’m telling you!” Savannah’s eyes grew round and her hands got expressive as she explained herself. “He put an eel down my shirt while we were swimming in the lake, so I—”

“So you paid him back by putting gum in his hair?”

“Well, I—uh...” Savannah sputtered, realising she wouldn’t win this.

“And what have I taught you about pay back?”

Sighing in resignation, she bowed her head slightly in obedience to her mom and said, “You’ve said that we shouldn’t pay anyone back, no matter how mean they’ve been to us. Because payback isn’t nice.”

“Exactly. Just because someone is awful to you is no excuse to be awful to them. Payback as a child can lead to revenge as an adult, and that’s not the type of person I want you to be. Do you understand that?”

“Yes. We should be kind and help others even when they hurt us.” The earnestness and kind heart in her daughter was genuine, and Chesca was grateful all her teaching so far hadn’t been in vain.

“So what are you going to do now?”

Savannah sat up straight. “I can’t apologise! He deserved it! Do you know how gross it is to have an eel down your shirt? It’s disgusting!”

“That’s not the point.” Chesca actually did know what it was like, and nearly smiled at the funny childhood memories of playing in the lake with Charles, Lexi, and their other friends. “Don’t you realise, if you stop reacting like this to his pranks, he might stop doing them and annoying you? And then you can get along like civilised children.”

Savannah rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, her attitude seeping back in. “That’ll be the day.”

Pursing her lips, Chesca prayed for wisdom. It was fine to be playing together and having fun as children, but what would they be like together when they were older? The knowledge that Justin would be Savannah’s Beta when they grew up did little to ease Chesca’s mind. If this was the nonsense they got up to together as pups, she could only fear for the future of the pack.

“Don’t speak to me like that,” she pulled her up for the sarcasm.

“You’re right. Sorry Mom.”

“Good. Now, you still need to apologise to Justin.” She watched another protest rise up in Savannah’s throat. “I’ll ask Dad to take you over in the morning,” she added, raising an eyebrow that brooked no nonsense.

“No, no! It’s okay! I’ll do it myself.” Savannah shook her head wildly, her brown hair flying in all directions as she agreed to apologise, and Chesca smiled to herself. The children still had a healthy respect for their father, and hopefully always would.

“Okay, good. Now time for bed,” she held out her arms and Savannah ran into them, burying her face against her mother’s neck as was their usual end to discussions. The children had no doubt of their mother’s love for them.

As Savannah traipsed off to get ready for bed, Chesca made her way to the living room and finally sank onto the couch.

Isaiah was nearly asleep in Miranda’s arms, and Emerald was snuggled up on her other side, intently listening the end of the story. “And they lived happily ever after.”

“Thanks, Aunt Mandy,” Emerald gave her a hug before getting up and following her sister upstairs. Chesca would come tuck them in in a few moments.

“So, Vannah’s gonna actually apologise. I’d love to see the look on Justin’s face,” Miranda’s eyes twinkled.

“It’ll do them both some good,” Chesca sipped her green tea and stared into the blazing fireplace. Lifting her feet to rest on the ottoman, she settled back and tried to ignore the ache in her lower back. “I’m not too harsh on them, am I? I mean, what was I like as a child!” she remembered back to all the fun and games she’d played with her friends.

Miranda laughed. “You were a little rascal, huh? I really can’t see my serious Alpha being like that.”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know. I was always getting into all sorts of trouble. But my older sister was the real rebel. When she rejected her mate and the Alpha title, then left home after breaking our parents’ hearts, I had to smarten up pretty quickly. I think I grew sensible overnight.”

Speaking of the past didn’t hurt so much anymore for Chesca, and she marvelled at the hole in her heart that had been filled by her precious mate and their beautiful children. Before, she had been torn by her sister’s rejection. Then she was crushed with the death of her parents. But when Kaiden came into her life, she’d begun to mend. With him in her heart, he had given her so many reasons to smile and love again. Together, they had made some bad decisions but also so many good ones.

Whatever life threw at them, she knew they could weather it, hand in hand.

“Too bad, but I’m not sorry for who it’s made you to be. You’re a good friend Chesca. You may have lost so much in your life, but you also carry with you the good you’ve been blessed with. I wish my sister and I had more loving parents when we were young. Letting us run wild might have been fun at the time, but I can’t see it did us any good.”

Chesca knew the raven-haired shewolf was thinking back to the pretentious and snobby ways of her sister Jakara, and her own flirtatious behaviours that only caused heartache. Miranda had been going out with Kaiden for a number of years before Chesca met him. “You have regrets?” Chesca asked gently. She’d seen the change come over Miranda as she’d matured, the kind and caring woman she’d become.

“A few. My main regret is not waiting for my mate. Maybe if I had, I would have found him by now. I can’t help feeling guilty, that what I did in the past is a reason why I haven’t been given a mate.”

“Maybe so. I guess we’ll never know, but I understand your guilt. I can’t help wondering if…“ Chesca bit her lip, and quickly glanced at Miranda before looking away. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to admit her fear. Wasn’t sure if it would help Miranda or only destroy the friendship they’d worked hard on.

“Wonder if my mate died in the attack on our packs?” Miranda spoke softly, and Chesca gaped at her words. It was like she had read the Alpha’s mind, read the pain in her eyes that probably mirrored her own heart.

“I’m so sorry. So many of those deaths were my fault. If I had only—”

“Shh, Chesca, don’t go there.” Miranda gripped Chesca’s hand, comforting her. “There’s no way you could have known Kaiden’s father was going to attack your own pack. You came to ours to rescue your mate, and you saved many of us from Elbert’s tyranny. He had planned for too many years to hurt us all, and take over both the packs. Deaths were inevitable.”

“I still feel terrible. I should’ve listened to my friends and thought more before acting. I was reckless, and it cost so much.” The Alpha bowed her head and felt her eyes prick with tears. She didn’t often think about the painful past, as too many things in the present and future were bright and filled her with happiness. But at other times, like now, when she could see the pain her friends were still going through because of her past actions, she couldn’t stop the upwelling of guilty feelings, reaching up to the surface and threatening to drag her back under.

“It wasn’t a fight any of us could win. If my mate was in your pack and did die during the attack, I’m sure his sacrifice meant something. I’m sure he would’ve fought to help those around him, and died an honourable death. But we can’t dwell on that for too long. We can’t change it now. I have the rest of my life to think about.” Miranda patted her hand. “You have your family now, and I have Caleb.”

Chesca nearly snorted in laughter. “You have Caleb? To me, it looks more like he wants to have you, and you’re still resisting him.”

“Yes, well. I can’t fall into his arms and instantly forgive him for everything he did to me. I have to make him work hard to earn my love again.” Miranda smiled teasingly.

“Of course. I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. He needs to recognise the amazing woman you are, and to never underestimate your worth.”

Miranda didn’t seem to know what to do with this compliment. “I think this little guy wants his own bed,” she said when Isaiah opened his eyes and squirmed to sit up.

The two women got up and while Miranda carried Isaiah upstairs, Chesca followed with his story book. Halfway up the hall, a stabbing pain radiated down from her back, and she placed her hand on the wall to steady herself.

“Are you okay?” Miranda looked back and frowned.

“Sure. I’m fine,” she took a deep breath and relaxed as the pain subsided. “Just tired, that’s all.” After putting Isaiah in his bed next to Emerald’s, she kissed her girls goodnight and made sure they wouldn’t read until too late. Savannah was on her best behaviour and promised to put her book down in ten minutes.

“Thanks for tonight,” Miranda said as she cleared the mugs and rinsed them in the kitchen. “I always love spending time with your family.”

“And I always appreciate the extra hands to help with the pups. You’re welcome anytime,” Chesca laughed and embraced her friend.

When Miranda had left, Chesca prepared for bed and rubbed her lower abdomen, trying to ignore the dull ache that had settled into her pelvis. It was too early to be labor, as she wasn’t due for another 3 weeks. Of course, the baby could arrive anytime within two weeks of the date, but all her other babies had stuck close to schedule. She didn’t expect this pregnancy to be any different. Lying on her side in bed, she tried focusing on the book she was reading, but her mind kept wandering to the tragedies of the past, the heartache that bitterness and revenge had left on their lives like a stain. She was trying her hardest to shield her own children from the mistakes in their parents’ lives, and could only hope they grew up without pain and loss like she and Kaiden both had.

A while later, when Chesca had just given up reading and turned off her bedside lamp, Kaiden slipped in and took a shower before joining her in bed. Cradling her from behind, she felt herself relax against his firm chest, his arms encircling her in warmth and security.

“Did everything go okay?” she whispered into the darkness.

“Yeah, it’s all good now. Just those two knuckleheads we’re fighting over something stupid and needed their Alpha to stop them from knocking each other out.”

“Just be glad you didn’t have to give a stern talking to Savannah. I’d much rather box two obstinate men on their ears than tell a cute little innocent girl she can’t put gum in her frenemy’s hair.”

Kaiden chuckled, a deep rumble that vibrated through Chesca’s body and further eased her tension. She loved these quiet moments with her mate, and leaned further into his embrace. His warm breath tickled her ear, his soothing scent wrapping around her. “Let them be children while they can. Is it weird that I don’t want them to grow up?”

She wiggled around and placed her hand on his chest. “Nope, not at all. I wish they could be babies forever and then I wouldn’t feel so old.” She winced slightly at the pain in her back that the movement caused, and evened out her breathing so her mate wouldn’t notice anything unusual. She felt the baby shift in her womb and was sure nothing was wrong. Her pelvic muscles were just protesting after supporting a heavy and strong baby for so many months, and couldn’t wait until he was born.

“That would be funny,” Kaiden whispered, his words growing softer as exhaustion overtook him. “Then I would have to be Alpha forever.”

“Don’t deny you enjoy leading and dominating everyone. I know you.” She tapped his chest and relished in the feel of his arms tightening around her.

“It can be exhausting at times. I’m glad I don’t have to dominate you, too. You’ve been the best mate I could ever ask for. So strong, and wise. Better than my equal.”

Chesca didn’t feel very strong or wise, especially when she let her thoughts linger on her past mistakes. But she’d take his compliments any day.

“I will always trust you with everything I am. I love you, Chesca,” he placed a kiss on her forehead as his heart slowed to a steady resting pace.

“Love you, too.” Taking her lips in hers, she gave him a slow kiss and smiled when his heart sped up a little. It thumped in her ears, drowning out the sound of her own, and she was satisfied that she could still affect her mate like this after so many years together. In fact, their love and passion for each other had grown with each passing month, each baby they brought into the world together. Nothing could sever the God-ordained bond of their hearts.

She rolled back to the other side and bent her knees to ease the pressure on her diaphragm and lungs. But even as the minutes passed, she couldn’t settle and fall asleep. Something kept niggling in the back of her mind and she couldn’t shake it. Unable to take it anymore, she pushed back the covers and began to get up.

“Where are you going?” Kaiden mumbled, still half-asleep. His fingers automatically began stroking her belly where his hand rested.

“Just need to use the bathroom.”

He let her go, and Chesca shuffled through the darkened room and didn’t even bother to use a light. Her sharp eyes saw very clearly even with the lack of moonlight that usually shone through the windows.

When she had finished in the bathroom, she was still antsy and decided to head down to the kitchen to get a glass of water. As she passed the side door, a shadow caught her eye and she peered out into the garden.

The hair on the back of her neck prickled, and she felt a mental nudge to go investigate. Despite the midnight hour and the cold snap that had heralded the approach of winter, she pulled on some boots she kept by the door and stepped outside.

The full moon was approaching, but tonight it was hidden behind clouds. The air smelt of distant rain, maybe even snow. The darkness pressed in on her, and the sky was heavy with gloom. WIthout the stars to guide her, she let her senses spread out and feel the vicinity. No one was around, so she wondered what had caught her attention. Perhaps it was just the tree branches swaying, but there was no breeze now. Perhaps it was her imagination, her hormones and stress putting her on edge.

She was about to turn around and go back inside when another shadow caught the corner of her eye.

Whirling around, she saw the low hanging branches on the trees swaying back and forth where the hill descended to the creek at the back of the property. A shiver ran down her spine, and she fought off the fearful notions and hurried forward to investigate.

Wrapping her thin cardigan closer around her, she contemplated going back and getting a better jacket, but knew there was no time. Whoever was snooping on her territory had probably seen her already and was getting away. And as Alpha of this territory, she needed to know who was trespassing and trying to get away with it.

The trees around her blocked the small amount of light, and plunged her into almost total darkness. But her ears and nose led her down the path, the scent of dirty rogue lightly brushing over her and the faint cracking of twigs reaching her from up ahead. Walking as quietly as possible, the thrill of stalking prey thudded in her veins, her Alpha DNA throbbing with purpose as she defended her territory from this unknown threat.

Only when she neared the dirty wolf ahead, saw his dull eyes peer at her while backed against a tree, did she feel another presence behind her. A third appeared on her left, and then another to her right, surrounding her. Only when she felt her skin prickle over with their overwhelming tenacity and brazen approach, did she regret coming out here and not awakening Kaiden instead.

A sickly smile crept up on the rogue’s lips, and Chesca turned away from the sight only to see the same mirrored on the three other faces.

“Well, well, well. The female Alpha herself. Nice to make your acquaintance.” One of them stepped forward and Chesca bared her teeth at them.

“Don’t make another move or I’ll slash your grimy throat right where you stand,” she snarled at him.

“You know, normally I’d feel threatened,” the wolf spoke casually, flourishing a knife from his leather jacket and flipping it in his palm. “But when I’m face to face with the mighty Alpha herself, a pup weighing her down and my own buddies backing me up, I can’t say I feel the fear I normally would.” He chuckled, and Chesca’s hand instantly went over her stomach, protecting her baby.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Only now did the fact she was no longer an independent Alpha register in her mind. She was a mother of pups. A mother with her very vulnerable baby even now drawing every breath and cell of blood he needed from within her own body. Why had she come out here? Why had she left the safety of her home and mate to investigate a threat?

“You’d hurt a mother and child?” she kept her voice even, appealing to their benevolence and stilling her knees from shaking.

“I’d do one better. I’d hurt a wolf and her useless pup, then drag their bleeding bodies all the way home to destroy the puny Alpha and his—”

Chesca didn’t let him finish. She launched at him, kicking as high as she could to disarm him of the knife, then ramming her fist into his face.

She heard the crack of his jaw, the soft clunk of the knife landing on the pine-needled ground, then the heavier thud as his body crumpled. These sounds had only just registered in her mind before another, more intense, sensation paralyzed her body. A small prick on her shoulder, then a stinging pain snaked over her body and she knew the other three rogues hadn’t been sitting around knitting while she engaged with their leader.

“You move fast for a pregnant lady. But let’s see how strong you are now with silver in your system,” one of them whispered in her ear, his smelly breath making her want to gag. She stumbled forward, the shiny needle of a syringe dangling lazily in the rogue’s hand, but the vision of him blurred for a moment.

Shaking her head, Chesca fought to keep her senses intact. And her baby alive.

“You will pay for this,” she braced her hand on the rough tree trunk before her and stood again. Reaching out through her mind for Kaiden, she tried to calculate how far into the forest she’d come. How far away from her mate she’d been lured. It was instinct she had been following, an instinct that every wolf should learn to listen to. But she knew from countless stories that less than instinct had killed stronger wolves. She would need all her wisdom to get out of this alive.

“Hmm, is that before or after we get paid by the boss? I wouldn’t worry too much about fulfilling this debt. I think we’ll be satisfied already.” One of the men moved to kick her, but Chesca rolled and shielded her stomach, taking the brunt of the blow on her back.

She wasn’t worried about the physical attacks so much as the silver element that now coursed in her veins. If it reached her baby, it could kill him in a matter of minutes. Using all her strength, she tried to keep the silver sunken in her muscles and out of her bloodstream. If she could just protect her baby until help arrived—

“Your Alpha will never find you. Not until we get what we want.” Another punch, this time to her head.

Stunned, Chesca dug her feet into the soft dirt to prevent from skidding backwards down the gully, and clutched at the nearest man, raking her sharp talons down his chest. Blood and scraped skin gathered under her nails. His howl of pain would surely be heard by Kaiden, or even Benjamin whose house was close nearby in the southern forest.

“Is that anyway to treat us?” The other wolf grabbed her by the hair and yanked her back down, making her head swim and her body curl up in a foetal position. She hated it. Hated the submissive position, but it was better than letting her baby get hurt. She’d do anything to protect her unborn pup.

She was then picked up roughly and held tight by one of them. Her faculties were still disoriented, but she heard a few different voices talking around her and assumed the first man she’d knocked out had picked himself up. She squirmed to get free, but the hold on her legs and arms only grew stronger. Frosty air bit at her face, like the despair that began to sink its claws into her mind.

“Now if you cooperate,” a shadow filled her vision as the leader stepped close to her face, “I might not have to slit this baby from your belly.” The cold blade of his knife pressed against her neck in a threat.

“You wouldn’t,” she spat, pushing the words past the fist in her throat and the hammering of her heart.

“Try me!” The disgusting rogue growled and swore at her, then slid the flat of the knife down her chest.

With increasing terror, Chesca felt the sharp edge slice along her lower abdomen, easily cutting the thin fabric of her nightie and piercing her skin. It was only a surface scratch, but warm blood seeped out and ran down across her skin.

The intent was there, the message clear.

He had all the power to kill her.

Her stomach clenched in fear, her muscles contracting against panic she refused to let set in. She was stronger than this, and she would find a way. She hated having to rely on Kaiden to come rescue her, but she was pretty useless with the silver in her system and a defenceless baby that depended on her for his very life.

Her body jostled as they carried her away, over the territory boundary. The connection with her mate grew more faint with every step away from him, and her heart ached to be in his arms, their unborn pup secure between their bodies.

But it wasn’t so. She was alone with these rogues in the dead middle of night. Her family and pack relied on her, and she had failed them again.

Her terrible mistake might just cost the future she cared about most.