The Alpha and his Mate

Jax POV

As I placed Annabelle down in the middle of my bed, I stared at her with worry. I knew that watching me shift would have been a shock for her, but I wasn’t aware that I was actually going to be causing her physical pain. There was very little known about this form of Alpha control, where a young wolf is forced not to shift at such a young age they forget that they even can. It is a silent rule set amongst us Alphas and the Elder council purely because of the problems it can cause a person and their wolf later in life.

I walked back downstairs, deciding to leave her to rest, and walked into the living room where I spotted my discarded clothes that I had haphazardly scattered around the room. Seeing them there brought back the memory of Annabelle’s face as it scrunched up in pain as she clutched her head. I sighed, upset with myself that I was the one that caused her that pain, before I started picking up the articles of clothing and pulling them back on. I was just putting on my last sock when I heard the doorbell ring. I must’ve been so deep in thought I hadn’t heard them walk up the driveway.

I opened the door and smiled slightly in relief as I spotted Doctor Tessler standing on my porch with a small leather medical bag in hand. This woman was a god send.

“Hi Doctor Tessler, please come in” I muttered as I stepped out of the way so that she could enter my small hallway before walking into the living room.

“So where is she? You sounded pretty worried when you linked me earlier” she stated in a very matter of fact tone of voice. She was straight down to business and for that I couldn’t be more grateful.

“She’s upstairs in my room” I informed her as I pointed in the general direction of the stairs, not that she needed it seeing as she’d been here before.

She nodded as she shifted her bag from her left to her right hand, “if it’s alright with you I’d like to check the Luna alone? I don’t want your presence to stir her or her buried wolf again, just in case it causes another episode” she quickly explained once she saw me shift uncomfortably at the idea of leaving my mate alone.

I sighed before nodding my head. I may not like the idea of leaving her but I could understand why it was essential. “Of course, please do head up. I will be waiting here when you’re done” I informed her as I watched her form disappear through the living room door and up the stair.

I heard her footsteps as they wandered into my room and I kept a close ear on the two upstairs, just in case any of them needed me for anything.

I sighed again as I made my way over to the small bar I kept in the corner of the living room and helped myself to a large glass of whisky. Tonight had been a difficult night and it showed no signs of getting easier anytime soon. I hadn’t slept in nearly two days and it was now starting to show.

After a while I heard light footsteps make their way back down the stairs and back into the living room. I quickly downed the rest of the amber liquid that had gone semi warm as it rested in the palm of my hand, before getting up and helping myself to another. I have a feeling I’m going to needed it.

“Physically she’s fine” the doctor explained as she came and stood in front of me as I nursed my second glass of whisky. “It’s more her mental state that I have concerns with” she continued as she gestured to the sofa opposite me. “May I sit?”

I nodded but otherwise didn’t say anything as I watched her take a seat on the edge of my sofa, right where Annabelle had been sitting not to long ago. “As I was saying in the hospital, I feel like we should have a conversation about Annabelle’s past and how it would have affected her” she explained.

“Her physical injuries and the fact that she was malnourished will eventually fix itself overtime, her bruises and cuts will heal up and she will slowly gain the weight back on that she desperately needs to with a proper diet plan. Her mental health through is a completely different issue” she paused as she looked over at me to make sure that I was paying attention to her.

“Her mental health is tricky, especially after what she had gone through over the years that she was with that family. She wasn’t very giving with information when I asked her questions, which indicated to me that she has a lot of trust issues that need to be worked on and looked at.

“You’re also going to have to be very patient with her with regards to some of her characteristics and the way she handles certain issues” she continued to explain.

“What do you mean by her characteristics?” I asked “I’m her mate, hers and my personalities should match up perfectly seeing as the Moon Goddess paired us together” I explained with a frown.

She nodded as she took in my words “yes that is true, but a lot of her personality would have been altered, maybe permanently, because of what she has gone through. The list of symptoms for long term abuse is extremely varied and we can’t always speculate how her experiences would have affected her, but be prepared for her to feel tired quite a lot. She may also suffer from anxiety in unfamiliar situations or around new people, making her regress back to how she would have reacted to a certain action or emotion back in that house.

“Low self esteem or even depression can be quite common as well, she had probably been told most of her life that she was worthless and it’s very common for people, especially children, to believe others opinions very quickly”.

My head spun as the doctor continued to list more symptoms that I should be on the lookout for. My poor Annabelle had been through something so horrible and so traumatic it may have affected her for the rest of her life.

“Should I continue Alpha or would you like to have a short break?” She asked me in a soft voice, obviously very aware of the turmoil that was currently running through my head.

“No no please go on, I need to be prepared for everything that’s thrown at me” I muttered as I took another sip of whisky, feeling the burn as is slid down my throat.

“Very well... she may also suffer a tremendous amount of guilt for things that may not even be her fault. Having things blamed on her all her life would make her believe that everything that goes wrong was always her fault. This could lead to over apologising or becoming a social recluse. It is important to remind her that whatever she is feeling guilty over wasn’t her fault and to bring her out of the house every once in a while, without being overly pushy of course. She had been kept in that house, basically under lock and key, for twelve years so she may forget that she is allowed free rein of the area and to come and go as she pleases.

“This also brings me to another key point that I wanted to talk to you about” she says as she folds her hands in her lap. “I believe Annabelle’s experiences may have caused her to suffer from something called child regression, basically meaning she has the mind of a child. Being only seven years old when she was placed into this family means she would have had very little to no social stimulation throughout her years as a child an early adult. She will be extremely naive to certain situations and will not fully understand the full repercussions of certain acts” she explained.

I quickly held my hand up, the one that wasn’t holding my now empty glass. “Doctor if you’re trying to tell me that I shouldn’t expect a physical relationship from her anytime soon then there really is no need. I am fully aware that she is in no state to even be thinking about something as serious about marking or completing the Luna ceremony”.

I wanted to get annoyed at the doctor for even suggesting that I would force or rush anything like that with my little mate, but on the other hand I knew I couldn’t be. Not only was she just doing her job and informing me on what I should be expecting, she was also protecting her Luna from suffering any more than she already had.

“I apologise Alpha” she nodded as she looked down at the floor slightly, showing me that she genuinely was sincere.

“There’s no need to apologise” I smiled slightly back at her, “I understand that you just want to protect her. Besides the more I know about the possible problems I will be facing with her the more prepared I will be in dealing with them” I explained. As much as I hated hearing all the possible side effects my mate may suffer with in the near future, it was important for me that I knew what I was doing wasn’t going to affect her in a negative way. “Please carry on” I said as I gestured to her that she had the floor.

“Very well” she nodded “I also wanted to talk to you about her speech. She is extremely reluctant to talk to or about anything that is new or unfamiliar to her. It is important that you don’t push her to talk when she is feeling vulnerable, forcing her to do something she doesn’t want to or isn’t ready to do could actually be counterproductive to our end goal. She has had little to no control over her life so if you force anything upon her it could cause her to believe that she was back in that place and revert back to how she reacted before she escaped”.

I nodded as I took in the last of the information the doctor had to offer. It was invaluable and I found myself trying to absorb it all like a sponge, afraid that I was going to forget some of it and do something that will cause her more pain than she was already in.

I thought about everything that the doctor had told me, about how she may not understand certain social situations or being in a certain type of environment could cause her to have an anxiety attack. My beautiful little mate really had been in the wars, and I was going to do everything in my power to make her comfortable and better again.

All I wanted to do was hold my Annabelle in my arms, feel her warmth against my skin so that I knew she was alive. I glanced upstairs, as if I could see her through the floorboards of the ceiling. Doctor Tessler must have caught on to how I was feeling because she offered me a small smile before suggesting we continue on our conversation a little closer to Annabelle.

This woman really was irreplaceable.