Shackled (The Lord Series) by Carlos

I usually hate looking at my reflection, but today, I do something I never do. I remove the towel and I take a step back and stare at my body in the mirror. I trace all my scars, remembering how I got them. Most of them bring painful memories, especially the ones on my abdomen. My tubes were taken, and in their place, something evil was put inside me. Maybe it was put inside me because I'm a monster for killing Camila. And if I can't fight it then.....

I trace one more scar on my body.

The time to embrace the darkness has come.

It spreads inside me, filling each and every atom of my being, but it doesn't turn me into something evil, as I always thought since two bonds stand between me and that darkness, but it makes me not feel so alone anymore. It makes me feel like I have a choice. That I can stand up for myself.

I don't know if I can do that, but I can try. In the end, what do I have to lose? My life?

I continue to look in the mirror, getting familiar with the person I am now.

I am Olivia.

I am broken but not defeated.

I was silenced but I still have a voice.

I am weak but not fragile.

The darkness continues to spread inside me until we become one, the bonds shield my soul. But my heart, which caused me so much torment and anguish, is left exposed. The darkness wraps around it like a barrier so no one will ever hurt me again.

Once I'm done looking in the mirror, I look through Jasper's cabinet until I find a small pair of scissors and remove the stitches from the cut on my arm. It healed so well the scar is barely visible.

Putting the towel back around me, I open the door to the bathroom and I come face to face with a... Tyson and his blood-brothers and their friends, who have been on the farm for a few days now. They all look at me like I'm a ghost. "Thank fuck," Ansel lets out a big sigh of relief and pulls me into his arms.

"What's going on?" I want to know as I extract myself from Ansel's embrace.

"What do you mean, 'what's going on?"" Tyson says. Probably seeing the confused look on my face, he adds, "Olivia, you have been in the bathroom the entire night. We tried to open the fucking door, but it was impossible. Same with the window. We called your name countless times, but we couldn't hear a sound coming from inside. Levi was about to call the Elders when you finally opened the door. What happened?"

I blink. Once. Twice. What Tyson is saying is...not logical. But then Ansel says something even crazier. "So you finally embraced what you are. As did I, my love."

What am I?

I am Olivia and the darkness is my companion.

"Are you alright?" Levi asks me.

I frown. "I'm good. Just hungry." I'm more than hungry. After days of no food, I'm freaking famished.

More stares. A few days ago, having so many people look at me like I had something between my teeth would have made me cower before them. I still want to do that, but the darkness inside me forces me to stay still. It's not easy, and I avoid their gazes, but at least I don't have a mini panic attack.

"What do you want me to make for you?" Mose asks.

I can't remember the last time someone asked me what I wanted to eat. "Bacon and eggs." Then I change my mind. "Cereals." Something else comes to my mind. "Ice cream and hot cocoa with marshmallows."

Levi laughs. "Who the hell wants ice cream for breakfast?"

Jasper pushed Levi out of the way. "She can have whatever she wants. Now, all of you, get the fuck out of my room."

"But " Rueben tries to protest.

"I want to change," I say, not because I want to back up Jasper but because I want to wear something nice when I sit at the table and have breakfast. All the men, except Jasper, leave. He stands in the doorframe looking at me a bit awkwardly, like he is trying to find his words.

Stepping to the side so I can get out of the bathroom, he says, "I'm sorry for the other night." My first instinct is to think that he is trying to trick me somehow but I listen to him. I really listen to what he has to say. "Believe it or not, I don't have that much experience when it comes to women. I had only one girlfriend who ghosted me after two months." He laughs but I can hear the sadness in his tone. "I never learned why. She was my first in everything, you know. Maybe I was a bad partner to her, I don't know. After that, it was hard to open up to women. And when I was finally there with a woman that I had known for some years, my first blood-brothers were killed. After that, I resigned myself to dying alone. Until Rueben and the others. But joining their link was a huge step for me and it wasn't a light decision to make."