Rebellion

“You’re not taking your medication, Aurora!” Alara yelled at me in the patient room. “Want to know how I know that? You’re sick. Want to know why? Because you’re back to your eating habits again.” She lectured me.

I haven’t been taking my medication because it doesn’t work. So now I’m back to my nightmares and daydreams, eating for comfort and then throwing up because I eat too much, and my constant and usual paranoia for the things around me.

“Give me something stronger.” I begged.

“I don’t think you’d comply even if I did.” She put her hands in her lab coat pockets.

I can’t believe she’s doing this to me. The meds don’t work. My nightmares aren’t controlled, I’m just as sensitive to my triggers as when this started, and I experience all the side effects without the benefits. So no, I don’t want to take my medication.

My tolerance never helps me. Because of this, I have o find a way to get stronger medication. However, Alara is the reason why I can’t. She’s more concerned about how I’ll deal with stronger medication than how it will help.

“How’s therapy?” She asked, putting my focus somewhere else.

“Fine.”

“Are you actually going?”

“Yes, Alara.” I jeered.

She has no faith in me and I guess that’s sort of my fault but that’s not the point. I’m here for something stronger but I don’t want to talk to someone about it other than Alara.

My entire body was tense. The muscles in my stomach were sore. I was sweating from the strain my body was still experiencing. I felt terrible. It didn’t help that I didn’t get sleep. The second I got out of bed, that’s when the wave of motion sickness hit me.

Here I am, begging Alara to help me but my record of complying isn’t a good one.

“I don’t want to give you anything that might give you an arrhythmia. Plus, you could get addicted to the other medications.” She warned.

“I’d handle it.”

“Taking it, yeah. But when it will be time to detox from the drug abuse I know you will give in to, you will have the hardest time of your life.” She explained to me as she walked around the small room. I sighed. “I know you, Aurora, and the last thing I’m going to do is make you worse.”

“No drugs?” I asked.

“For now, I’m going to need you to cope and talk to your psychiatrist.” She smiled apologetically.

“Fine. You know best.” I gave in. This part of science isn’t my specialty so I’m going to trust she knows what she’s doing.

“On a different note, I have some statistics for you.”

Here comes the worst part. Work. I knew she had multiple reasons to calling me here. Nagging me was only one.

“About three people a day come into the hospital without proper identification. I do my best to catch them before anyone else does, but some people are asking questions.” She explained.

“Don’t say anything to anyone right now. We don’t know what they would do.” I warned.

“I haven’t. I’m just worried something could happen.” She voiced her concern. “These people have wounds on their arms and legs, mostly their legs. I’m guessing so they don’t run away or something like that.” She shrugged.

I covered my face with my hands and tried to not get annoyed. Janus is being brutal against the people who are catching on to what’s happening.

“I really hate the violence.”

“It’s on the news now. Everyone knows something’s happening.” She said. “It’s terrible because the only person that can investigate is Commander Janus.” She whispered to me.

That’s the problem. Even if he assures the public he’s going to, he’s not. The population of protesters are getting larger. Soon the public will stop thinking they’re crazy and actually listen to what’s happening to them. I would say let things run its course, but then there will be irreversible damage because of deactivated devices and people can’t contribute to society without that. However, if I were to wait long enough, there would be a shock to the system at some point because of Janus’ spree of ruining people’s lives for his own gain.

Maybe this was Janus’ plan all along. Maybe he was waiting for the issue to escalate this terribly. Then, it would be covered and broadcasted all over the region, thus people would get scared and not get involved with the rebellion. It could have a negative effect; people sympathize and want to be of use and help the cause so they join in as well. Janus did not think this through. He’s ruining everything.

I shook my head as I thought more. The situation should be simple but I was treating it like it wasn’t.

“I want-”

Anything Alara says with ‘I want’ is not a good idea. “Do not get involved with the protest, Alara.” I warned her.

“I won’t.” She said quickly because I assumed she would do it. “I know you want me to do what I can in a safe environment, so I won’t do much.” She said.

“Thank you.”

“Anything to relieve the stress.” She said kindly.

I could never put Alara in harm’s way. I want to make sure that nothing happens to her while I can help it.

“But anyway, I’ve been talking to your nurse friend, and she thinks you need to calm down.” She said. “And I agree with her.”

“We’re back to that?”

“I know you care about me so I can do the same for you.” She said as I hopped off the chair. “Call me if your anxiety gets bad.”

“I will.”

There was more I haven’t told Alara yet. Right now I’m not in the greatest position to be making decisions. I’ve only slept twelve hours over the course of four days. I find myself having a hard time concentrating and keeping focused, the motion sickness is probably more than motion sickness.

If I tell her all this, she’ll freak out.

I can’t have that yet.

Things are getting out of hand to the point that I can’t control them. I think of so many scenarios and it’s driving me insane.

If I can get one night of sleep without waking up to the room spinning and a tight chest, that would be great.

I wanted to see Magnolia today to make sure everything was okay for her. With the tension on both sides of the rebellion escalating, I have a feeling more bad things have been happening than good. I guess I have to say that I’ve disappeared a little from the situation.

Hariette, Libra, and Haroldo are still trying to get a response from Iris but it’s not as easy as it looks. The difficulty makes me feel better at least, now I know he’s not being spoon fed the answers. I can’t move forward without knowing which sectors he’s going to have pick next. Until then, all I can do is wait for the next phase.

My concern is still around and it worries me. Someone is leaking our information. And because I can’t trace back to figure out who it is, I have a feeling that it may be multiple people. But what’s the point of telling what’s going on with the Rebellion? Do they get something out of it?

Sirus is still acting weird and I know it’s a terribly big distraction because that’s all I can focus on but he’s keeping something from me and he doesn’t want me to find out.

Something is happening and I can’t connect the dots. I go as far back as I can to determine when things started getting weird.

That was about the time when I had my heart attack.

So who’s talking, what are they talking about, and why?

I thought about that as I made my way to the other hospital across the city. It’s normally crowded around the area which did not help with my anxiety at all. The more I thought about the situation, the more I felt like it was all going to go straight to hell because someone doesn’t want to keep their mouth shut.

Everything is weird recently.

Magnolia was just about to walk in when she spotted me. I hadn’t seen her since that night I almost died; she was the one that helped me which I’m so grateful for. Without her, who knows what would’ve happened. She smiled when she saw me and waved; Tobias was holding her other hand tightly, standing behind her because it looked like he didn’t want to go anywhere.

I walked over to them, smiling and waving politely.

Hopefully she can’t tell what a mess I am right now. I’m struggling to keep everything together but I managed to smile and hide it. I don’t know if I’m doing a good job or not but it should count for something.

“Thank goodness you are alive.” She said with relief. “Gave me quite a scare that night.” She said. I can’t believe I haven’t seen her since then.

“I’m only here because of you. I never really got to thank you, by the way.” I said.

“Taking better care of yourself should be thanks enough.” How she said it gave me the hint that she knew I wasn’t feeling that good today.

“I’m fine today.” I lied anyway to ease the doubt. “I just wanted to make sure nothing wild was going on.” I looked around.

It still feels weird.

“It’s more or less okay. Nothing really changed much.” She said and looked down.

Neither of us noticed when Tobias was holding my hand. He came right over to me while we were talking for a brief second but we didn’t notice. He seemed content with holding on to me.

“He’s been doing that lately.” She sighed.

“That’s fine. I can stay with him for a little while since I know you’re heading in for your shift.” I said and Tobias was already pulling me forward inside.

“He likes to eat a lot, don’t give in to him.” She warned me as I got dragged away.

Tobias doesn’t talk too much. He’s almost six so I don’t know what to expect. My parents used to tell me how I hid a lot when I was six; I didn’t like other people, I didn’t want to talk to other people, I couldn’t stand when other people got too close. But I was a hateful child. Tobias is just quiet.

His eyes light up around certain people. He loves his mom a lot, I can always tell by the way he holds on to her. I can tell that he likes me, but it’s for the wrong reason.

He wanted ice cream early in the morning, and because I’m not his mother, I didn’t say no. I’m responsible enough to understand that I should say no but I didn’t want to. I guess today I wanted ice cream for breakfast too.

He liked vanilla. I got vanilla too because he wanted me to have it.

“What do you want to be when you grow up, Tobias?” I asked with curiosity. That’s just the standard question any five year old gets asked.

“I like music.” He said as he held his spoon with his left hand. He could barely reach his bowl so I pushed it a little closer to him on the table.

I think every kid likes music. I liked music. I still like it. But I’m not going to dismiss him just because.

“Maybe a singer or dancer?” I asked. He shook his head as he put an entire spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. “Musical engineer?”

He didn’t answer. Well he didn’t shake his head.

“You want to make music?” I asked. He smiled and looked up at me. Guess I found it. It was either that or make the instruments. Either way, those engineers are having the time of their lives.

“Mommy likes music.” He said.

Don’t we all?

Tobias began to mumble more and I figured he was talking to himself about everything he liked.

At that age, kids get so many options. They get the broad path. They have so much time. They can pick what they want, and if they don’t know or change their minds suddenly, they can just do something else. Society encourages our choices, they want us to do what we want. The system runs on as little misery as possible. So kids get to pick what field they want, possibly what profession they want, the languages they want to speak, where they want to do their profession.

The pressure begins once we get older, being encouraged to stay in the educational path we chose early on. It’s not like we get in trouble for changing fields but it takes longer. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t get to experience much pass the sixth grade. Alara knew what it was like, she changed her mind so many times and she was lucky that at least she knew it was either science or social science. I’m surprised she finished so quickly.

Compared to other nations, countries, regions, our society isn’t based on how much people make. It’s how much they provide back to people around them. The more people work, the more benefits people get. Society rewards those who contribute. Even the bare minimum gets rewarded.

I guess I never really had a different choice or a back up plan like other people do. It probably would’ve been better to go to school instead of ending up in the armed forces like I spontaneously chose ten years ago. Self teaching is hard. It takes time. And I get my intelligence from my parents but it was still difficult. I missed out on a lot of stuff. And in the beginning I was okay with that, but now I sort of wished I could broaden my horizons.

There’s a lot I don’t know and want to know.

I guess I’m curious about where I might end up after the Rebellion issue is taken care of. I don’t want to stay at NASA. I don’t want to stay in the defense department. There has to be somewhere else I can go.

I look at Tobias and see all the things he will know. He gets exposure to so many different things and to choose from that is amazing.

Before I could say something, someone sat in the chair beside me. I turned slowly when I knew who it was. Sirus is skipping work again, and I can tell by the weapons he had in plain sight strapped on to him. It’s one thing to do this in public but in a hospital? He’s got to be kidding me.

“Go away.” I said.

“Figured you’d be here.” He said. No, he didn’t. He’s always tracking me down. “So I have some stuff for you to worry about.” He said as he took my bowl of ice cream that I had to get up and get myself. “It seems like the other Commanders are worried that Iris is doing exactly what you predicted.” He said.

“I’m with Tobias, Sirus.”

The last thing I wanted was for an impressionable kid to repeat what he’s heard in front of his mother.

“Cover your ears, kid.” Sirus gestured to him. Tobias brought his hands up to his head and covered his ears. “Anyway, can you tell the two of them that there’s no reason for them to piss themselves over getting what we actually want?”

I narrowed my eyes.

Sirus doesn’t get how weird it is.

Sometimes even he gets thrown off when he gets everything he wants without a fight. He should know this is out of the ordinary. After all, he is the one that told me that if there isn’t a fight, I shouldn’t trust it.

His behavior just makes me suspicious.

He’s been acting weird too. It’s not helping his case. I didn’t say anything about him acting weird but that adds to Iris knowing exactly what we want. The second time was no hesitation, I’m guessing.

“Yeah, sure.” I lied.

I think I was about to panic from all the thoughts that just rushed through my head. There has to be something wrong. Iris did absolutely everything I predicted.

There’s a leak somewhere.

Someone is definitely telling our information.

Is it someone loyal to Janus? No. They wouldn’t tell Iris. It’s someone loyal to Iris, and honestly, that would be a lot of people. Iris and Picses made sure everyone understood who was in charge and who would be in charge later on. So of course, there are people who are loyal to me, some who are wary, and some who don’t trust me, but crossing Iris is a different story.

Someone, or multiple people, are talking to him.

I didn’t say anything as I watched Sirus make a face after taking a bite of my ice cream.

“I didn’t get it for you.” I snatched my bowl back.

“The alcohol flavors are better.” He said after taking the spoon out of his mouth. I also took that from him.

“I don’t drink.” I told him.

He laughed and it was in a disrespectful tone. “Best way to get rid of your problems, alcohol.”

“Addiction comes quickly for people in pain.” I told him and looked at Tobias.

He didn’t have his hands over his ears. He went back to eating his ice cream like nothing else was going on. The thing about five year olds is that they hear everything happening. Whether they retain it or not is something different.

“You busy today?” Sirus asked, still reaching to eat my ice cream. “All I need is an hour of your time.”

“That’s gross, Sirus. I was sick this morning.” I complained. He can’t be serious about wanting me to spare time to have sex with him.

He just shrugged because he didn’t care and of course he wouldn’t care. I rolled my eyes and turned away from him. Sometimes, I shouldn’t be shocked because I know what I’m dealing with. If Sirus wants something to do then whatever, I won’t say anything.

“Why are you babysitting?” He gestured to Tobias who was getting ice cream all over his face.

“I was bored today.” I said.

I have the day off and it’s not like I had anything specific planned either. Sirus is not a fan of small kids but he plays around with them like he is. Tobias sometimes gets extremely excited to see Sirus, and as endearing as it is, I would prefer if Sirus would make sure that Tobias doesn’t get hurt.

“Anyway, someone needs to talk to Haroldo and Libra.” He started. “Rhea’s here, too. And we all know she’s looking for the ticking time bomb.” He said, not wanting to draw my attention to his comment but he had my full attention.

He thinks I’m going to snap.

“I’m not crazy.”

When he didn’t say anything I looked at him. Apparently he thinks I am going crazy and he’ll tell anyone that if they ask. I continued to stare but he just stared down at the table, waiting for me to put my attention somewhere else.

“How does Rhea know I’m going a little insane?” I asked.

“She’s making a wild guess.”

Given our history, she knows her guess would be right. This is not a good time for her to be here. I’m dealing with too much, and her trying to analyze me now won’t do much good.

I tried to clean off Tobias face but he ended up missing his mouth again to spill more ice cream on his face and clothes. I’m not cut out for this. Babysitting is hard. And I’ve had him for less than thirty minutes.

“Can you get Rhea to go away somewhere?” I asked.

“I don’t want to.” Sirus said out of pure disobedience. “I don’t even like her.”

I’m not surprised.

“Fine, I’ll talk to her.” I gave in.

Rhea will really make my life hell. The only reason she was so nice to me before was because I was a department head. Now she’s really going to force me to do what I’m supposed to; if she knows the truth then she won’t let it go. I know her, and I know she will never let it go.

Tobias had no problem devouring what was left of his ice cream. He even asked for more which I replied with he had to get back to where he was supposed to be. Plus I told him I would keep the whole ice cream for breakfast thing between us so he didn’t get in trouble. Sirus tagged along with us, and that’s when Tobias got the chance to ride his shoulders yet again.

“We should really talk about what we’re going to do about this Rebellion thing.” Sirus said because he was impatient.

“I want this to end as much as you do.” I told him. “I’m doing everything I can to help, but you know how easily I get overwhelmed now.” I sighed.

I didn’t used to be like this, and it’s such a shame that I’m struggling.

I took a breath. “Do you think things would be like this if we were still up on the Mother ship?” I asked, curious to know what he thinks.

“No.” He said plainly. “We were all kept in check up there. There’s no way anyone would rebel.”

Well he’s not wrong. It was a luxury to be up there, at least for regular civilians. Pampering civilization makes them unaware of what’s really going on, considering there might’ve been something going on.

“Do you still want to go back?”

It was a touchy question for me to ask. Ever since my little outburst of fear two years ago we never talked about it again. I don’t know if Sirus still hates it here. He doesn’t complain as much anymore. Maybe he got comfortable.

The Mother ship is still up there. There’s not many people there. There’s no need for it either so Hariette is trying to talk to Iris about breaking all the parts down for resources. We’d have enough to last five generations. The thought of it...It is a little overwhelming for me. I’m not a fan of space anymore. Having been in a new environment, now I know how scary it is up in space.

Sirus remained quiet for a second. I looked up to see what his expression was like, if he was thinking seriously about it or not. Would he consider leaving again?

“Would you come with me?” He glanced at me plainly.

Oh.

“Would you want me to?” I dodged his question rather quickly.

“Answer my question first,” he said.

I didn’t want to.

Would I go with Sirus? That should be an easy question to answer effortlessly. I just didn’t want to tell him my answer. I’m so used to being around him that I guess it would be weird for me if I wasn’t. After how far we’ve come, it would be a waste to throw that away.

I need him. He knows that.

“Sure.” I said and looked forward as we walked.

I just really need him around me.

“I don’t feel like leaving.” Sirus finally said after a little bit of silence. “I’m fine where I am.”

“Didn’t seem like that years ago.”

“Yeah, well.” He said abruptly when I started to laugh. “I’m not a fan of change.”

Not a lot of people are.

“I know.” I said.

I get it. I know Sirus well enough to say that it is hard for him to adapt to a new environment, depending on what the new environment is.

I didn’t say anything else about it. It’s still a touchy subject for me, and we shouldn’t talk about it while Tobias is up on his shoulders listening to everything we say.

We waited for Magnolia to go on break so she could take Tobias. Sirus was tired of having his hair pulled on but Tobias did not want to be let down for any reason. It’s always fun to watch smaller kids. Sirus has a lot of siblings so he had tolerance for Tobias. He had suddenly gotten hyper, and that was something I had to apologize for since it was my fault he was talking much more than his mother was used to. I’m just hoping he doesn’t repeat any of what he heard today.

I had a feeling that Sirus wanted to go somewhere so we could...Be together -and that’s putting it lightly- but I needed to find Rhea so I could get her to back off the situation. Surely she knows about the Rebellion and what’s going on. I just can’t tell her that there’s more to it than the surface. I know the only thing she cares about is my health and discovering the truth but I can’t let her know what’s going on yet.

I called Libra and told her to tell Rhea where I was. I’ve been avoiding her because Rhea will use her to get to me but now that stops. I hope Rhea will believe me when I tell her I have everything handled.

“Think Rhea will show up?” Sirus asked. He’s hoping that she doesn’t.

“The Head of Human Resources won’t pass up the opportunity to declare me mentally unfit to benefit society.” I said as I shoved my hands in my pockets.

“You’re not that special.” He told me.

I pulled my lips in and looked at him slowly. He didn’t have to come with me if he didn’t want to. Honestly, he should be with his sector and doing his job. Janus is probably tracking him right now and could get in trouble...I always have to remind myself that Sirus does not care. I stared at him though, waiting for an apology.

“For some reason everyone just seems to like you.” And he didn’t understand why.

I’m not mean, first of all.

“Do you like me?” I asked.

“Not really.” He didn’t have to think about it.

Sirus just doesn’t like me being the center of attention. Since he’s always around me, he gets part of that attention as well. He only wants it when it’s convenient for him.

I smiled a bit because he was a little irritated. He wouldn’t be around me if he didn’t like me. We’ve talked about this. He does like me.

“I’ll come home with you if you tell me the truth.” I scooted closer to him and hoped that he would open up to me.

Only when he feels like it does he tell me things. And I get that. It’s not like I tell him everything either. Most of the time, we’re okay with that. Just because we’re around each other a lot doesn’t mean we really have to expose absolutely everything about ourselves. I just like knowing how he feels about me sometimes. He doesn’t like change but he has to admit that we’ve changed.

He didn’t say anything and I expected that. He wasn’t going to say anything. But he did put his arm around me so I’ll take that as an answer. I stayed close to him, not bothered by his silence. I needed to keep my hands to myself because we’re in public but what really surprised me was that Sirus was behaving. I didn’t say anything out loud because I didn’t want to jinx it.

“Aurora.” Rhea was here. She was standing in front of us, her arms crossed, and an unentertained expression on her face.

She can’t be unimpressed. She’s used to always having to chase me just to do what I’m supposed to do. The one time I stayed where I told her I was waiting, she wants to look bored. Her bright blue eyes looked to Sirus and her expression didn’t change.

We’re a problem for her constantly.

Sirus didn’t move away despite us being super close to each other. The only other person who can catch us like this is Hariette.

“I’m glad you’ve finally decided to let me talk to you in person.” Rhea didn’t look too glad. Considering what the last few months has been like for her, I can say that she really isn’t happy to want to talk to me.

“I gave you my word that I would be here, Rhea.” I said sincerely. I’ve been hostile towards her for a year now and there’s no need for me to be that childish anymore. “Libra told me that you were concerned for me.” I said. Rhea always has good intentions so I should be mindful.

“Libra’s concerned about a lot of things right now. However, she won’t tell me the details.” She wants information.

I can’t tell a department head the issue right now. Considering she’s the bridge between all other departments, I could really get in trouble just in case she’s not on my side.

She looked at Sirus again. “Don’t you have a job to do?” She asked him. “One write up from me and you’ll lose everything you have.” She warned him.

The only reason Sirus was about to get up was to clearly threaten her, not to go back to work. Before he could get up, I moved my hand to his arm to keep him down. There’s no reason for him to show her that he was stronger and able to do something. That’s not the focus of why she’s here.

“Rhea, Sirus knows where Libra lives.” I hope that she doesn’t think she’ll get away with anything. “Please don’t threaten him.” I warned her.

She rolled her eyes, taking my warning lightly.

“We need to talk, Aurora.” She said, getting right to it. When I didn’t move, her arms dropped to her side and she got irritated. “In private.” She emphasized.

I got up slowly so I could walk off to the side with her. Rhea has been dealing with a lot lately, she has silver strands in her hair which is the physical indication of overwhelming stress. I didn’t bring it up. She stopped walking and turned around to face me.

“I’m here to ask you a question, not as Head of Human Resources but as a friend.” She was being pleasant, or at least trying to be. “Libra is deeply concerned about you, as am I, and she mentions to me that you may or may not be having a hard time again.” She explained.

“I’m fine.” I lied.

“I can still see your profile, but for some reason it looks like you might have more than one.” She knew I had more than one, she didn’t need to inference it. “What did you do, Aurora?” She asked.

“Rhea, please do not-”

“There is a list going around my department about people to fire next, and it’s not shocking to see you’re on it, but more than half the entire defense department is on it.”

“You know it’s not a valid list.” I wanted to convince her.

“I know that. But to hear the amount of chaos going on puts me in a bad spot.” She said. She has every right to take authority over the issue, and I was actually hoping she wouldn’t just because of everything that’s going on. She’s trying to decide if she has to go ahead and do an investigation on so many people. “So as a friend, Aurora, I’m asking you what is going on.”

“I can’t talk right now.”

“Aurora-”

“I can’t get more people involved.” I told her quickly, hoping she would understand. But by the expression on her face, she would take her answers by brute force if she had to.

“Libra won’t even tell me.” She sighed.

“She’s protecting you from what could happen.”

“I don’t need that.” She snapped at me but quickly drew back, covering her mouth.

A lot of people are telling her they’re trying to protect her. Honestly, I just don’t need anymore responsibility on my shoulders.

She took a breath before speaking. “The Department of Justice wants me to bring you in but I told them there’s nothing I could do if they don’t show me why.” She said.

Now I felt guilty.

“Obstruction of justice. Treason. Tampering with the System and System ran devices.” She listed. “And those are just the big ones. No one cares about the rest of it.”

Forget feeling guilty, I am guilty.

I looked at her, not wanting to shy away from the truth.

“As a friend, I’m not going to sell you out. But...” She didn’t want to say the worst part of it. “I have to do my job, Aurora. You have fifteen days before the Department of Justice has every right to bring you in.”

Fifteen days? Only? That puts me under a lot of pressure. There has to be a way that I can get more.

“Rhea-” I wanted to tell her that I need more time but she stopped me.

“They were giving you five. I fought like hell to give you ten extra days.” She said over me. “Do not make me regret it.” She warned me.

Fifteen days.

All I get is fifteen days. There’s no way anything is going to go right with just fifteen days. That means everything has to be escalated to the extreme.

Like Rhea said, I should be grateful for the time, but it just sparked my fear of not finishing what I started.

We’re not ready.