Rebellion

“Hariette, it’s five in the morning.” I put my head down on the table.

Hariette doesn’t care about anyone’s life. She had to drag me in at five in the morning for some meeting she wanted to have. It must be serious because Haroldo and Libra were here, not to mention Janus’ first five sectors. Sirus was not happy to get up this early for an unauthorized meeting. I give her credit for taking this situation into her hands because I sure as hell do not want to do it. But being up this early is not okay.

“We need to talk about what we’re doing about this chip business.” She hit her hand on the table and I jolted up in my seat.

I wasn’t the only one.

“Our target building is heavily guarded by sector zero and it will stay guarded as long as there’s a reason to guard it.” She explained, not keeping her voice down.

As serious as this was, I didn’t want to be here. Hariette has spear headed this idea because I’m still dealing with my anxiety issue. Plus she has more contact with Janus than I do and that’s helpful.

“We need a diversion.” Lunar murmured quietly.

“That’s lame.” I opened my eyes and straightened up again.

A diversion would get everyone killed on the spot.

“Sector zero isn’t going to give in to a diversion. They won’t even sniff at that.” I pointed out.

We all know getting to the programmed system’s core is not going to happen but Hariette is insisting. We know what sector zero is watching over. We know that they’re trained to go after anyone who gets close and take them out for any and all reasons. We’d get killed if we get close. I’d get killed.

“We have to get in there somehow.” Hariette said.

I took a breath and thought of something. Again, I don’t know anything about that sector. I never had control over them. Most of the time, I forgot there was an extra sector. We don’t use them for anything other than System and Computer protection. No one else said anything in the silence. It’s definitely not because we were thinking.

“Let’s start a rumor.” Libra was thinking.

“You didn’t hear me, did you?” I asked and I heard her tired sigh. “Diversions won’t-”

“I’m not talking about a diversion.” She stopped me. “We don’t want to get to sector zero, let’s get to Iris.” She explained.

“A rumor will make him pick another sector for help. And we already know which sectors he’ll choose from.” Haroldo finished for her.

It’s not a bad idea.

I looked at the first five sector leaders for Janus but Iris has more choices than that.

“Don’t offer help.” I said. That’s the key part. None of them can jump at the idea of helping. “Let’s hope he picks from Janus’ sector five, Haroldo’s sector four, or Libra’s sector two.” I said.

Orion seemed more than happy to be suggested for help, but that’s because of what his sector specializes in. Finally he gets something to do.

“Why...?” Hariette was confused.

“We don’t want to seem eager to help. He won’t pick anyone that’s too eager.” I put my head down. “Plus those sectors specialize in distanced attacks. You think sector zero is just walking around in front of the main doors?” I asked my rhetorical question loudly enough for them to hear me.

“We’re going to need more than just three sectors to cover for sector zero’s trained paranoia.” Alya said.

That’s true.

“Let him pick the first time. After that, the rumors should escalate to a bigger threat. Then other sectors can offer their services.”

“What rumors should we start?”

That is a good question. What would make Iris panic? I didn’t want to come up with the solution for that part. I kept my head down and waited for someone to say something. Is it because I’m in the room that they don’t want to talk? Hariette is more powerful than I am, she should come up with something.

“Aurora.” She was more focused on me talking because this is where I come in.

I don’t care what they choose.

“I don’t know. Figure it out. It’s five in the morning.” I was irritated that I wasn’t in bed.

“‘Leader of the Rebellion plans to take down the system’.”

“Not specific enough.” I said.

“‘Leader of the Rebellion has taken over a few sectors and plans to take down the system’.”

“Iris won’t pick any sector if that’s the rumor.” I told them.

“‘Britain wants revenge and plans to take down the America’s Utopian societal system to cause chaos’.”

I picked my head up and looked around. That one’s not bad. We aren’t in a good relationship with Britain still so we can get away with that. Cleaning up the mess shouldn’t be that bad either. It’s just a rumor, not a threat.

“When you escalate the rumors, say Russia is in on it too. Iris will definitely bite that.” I said.

Let’s hope we’re right and Iris makes the first move. If he picks from those three sectors then maybe it will be easy to predict who’ll be picked next.

“You think Janus will act on it?” Hariette asked.

I was about to respond but I stopped quickly to think. I don’t know Janus well enough to know what stupid mistakes he’s going to make about the situation. We don’t want him in the equation. Once the rumors get far enough around, he’ll point fingers at me and that’s not going to make Iris do anything.

Dammit, I didn’t think of this flaw. Now what?

“Let’s not worry about him till he starts causing problems.” I sighed and put my head down again.

“You think he won’t get involved?” Lunar asked from across the table.

“I think Iris won’t pay attention to anything he says while there’s a threat to our little Utopian society.” I said and lifted my head up.

I want to bet on Iris taking complete control for a few days, maybe a few weeks. Once his first pick of sectors are in I just know that this will mean business.

Let me hope I can map out Iris’ behavior enough to predict what he will do next.

“For the second pick, we want Janus’ sector one, Haroldo’s sector five, and Libra’s sector three.” I said.

“Close range combat? Why?”

“Iris might spread his sector out.” The key word being might. It’s not a guarantee that he will. “And when he does make his pick for the next set of sectors, we need a force to hold sector zero down for a moment or two to get by.”

“You want us to get killed.” Sirus murmured bitterly beside me but I nudged him so he would keep quiet.

I don’t know how sector zero was trained or what their protocols are. I wonder what they would do if another sector were to intervene with their work. I know they are practically self ran because Iris expects them to handle any situation that happens. If another sector messes with what their job is, how do they handle it? They wouldn’t gun down another sector would they?

“Guess we’re going to have to find out if they will act on it.” I shrugged.

“This is not going to be fun.” Haroldo murmured.

“And what if Iris doesn’t do what we hope for him to?” Libra asked.

“We improvise.”

That’s what we can go off of for now. That’s our best shot honestly. So for now we have a set plan and if something happens, we change it to fit.

No one else said anything for a little while. I know I was seconds away from falling asleep. Sirus was next to me with his head down on the table too. I heard others slowly get up from their seats from time to time to leave the room. I lost track of how many of us were left.

It felt like I blinked once.

But when I lifted my head again, the sun was up and the room was lit by its rays. I hadn’t remembered falling asleep but it happened. Sirus was still next to me and Hariette was at sitting at the corner of the table.

It was only the three of us.

I looked at Hariette first because I noticed something I wouldn’t have noticed if her hair was down. For some odd reason, she tied it really high up and I could see her ear. Her piercings didn’t catch my attention, it was the scar on her cartilage that did. It was a dark scar, and it made me think she was bitten, just slightly harder than she should’ve been.

That’s the same scar I have...

At first I thought there could be no way and it was a coincidence. It made more sense to be a coincidence.

Then again, it probably isn’t.

My hand hit Sirus’ arm hard so he could wake up. I can’t believe there’s another person I have to add to the list of people Sirus has been with. Sirus jolted in his seat and glared right at me the second he felt the pain.

“You fucked her?” I hissed and pointed to Hariette.

“Yeah.” He answered without thinking about it. He had no shame. I hit his arm again. “Damn, Aurora! That was before I even met you.” He took my hands before I could hit him again and made sure I kept them to myself.

I would have never expected...

Yes I did. Why am I so mad for? I knew this could happen, I knew this did happen.

I sighed and sat back in my seat. I’m not that surprised. I always just have to ask to find out apparently. I can now think of three people off the top of my head that Sirus has been with, and I’m not curious about anyone else.

“Jealous?” Sirus nudged me when I kept quiet.

“More annoyed than jealous. Is there anyone else?” I asked quietly.

He thought for a second as he went quiet. He looked around the room before looking back at me and shrugged. I can’t believe him. I am so tired of him.

“Don’t get all pissy about it. All my efforts are on you now.” He was being incredibly sarcastic.

“What efforts?”

“You really don’t want me to expose you with Hariette in the room.” He put his head down again. Of course he wouldn’t censor anything he was about to say.

“Well since you’ve been acting weird lately, let me ask one question.” I got close enough to rest my head on his arm. “Remember that rumor?”

“My god.” Sirus groaned obnoxiously. “Is that your one question?”

“No, I’m setting up for the one question.” He honestly should’ve known that one, but I didn’t patronize him about it. “Was it premeditated?” I asked.

He shrugged me off him and sat up again. I wanted to poke a nerve to get him angry and see if he will stop acting weird. However, he wasn’t getting angry like he usually does. He was irritated, and I expected that, but I was hoping for irrational yelling that would lead to us fighting. That didn’t happen.

“You talked to Alya.” Sirus already knew.

“She told me-”

“I know what the bitch told you. She’s been spreading that around ever since it happened.” He pointed out angrily and slouched back in his chair.

“So...?”

“The reason why the report said self defense is because, I don’t know, it was self defense.”

“What happened?” I was still curious.

“Long story short, he tried to suffocate me and I tried to suffocate him, too. It just became who could kill the other first.”

Hariette started to get up from her sleep. Sirus was not excited about that. “You know that’s not how it happened.” She murmured.

“I swear.” Sirus was not in the mood.

“You were so ready to take down that asshole. The second he put his hands on you, you went for it.” She lifted her head and looked at us.

“Think I’m a murderer?” Sirus asked.

“Never said that.” she looked to side and shrugged, thinking about her response. “But you aren’t completely innocent.” She shrugged, making a face as she looked at him.

Sirus doesn’t do well when people try to contradict things he already knows. “And this is why I’m going to fight Alya when I find her.” Sirus got up from his seat and walked out.

I wish I could warn Alya that Sirus is coming for her but she knew that one day something would happen. It’s not surprising. I put my head down on the table again and sighed quietly. I was still tired from waking up so early and I didn’t want to do any work. Hariette wasn’t going to be lenient because it would look weird if I wasn’t at work while wild things continued to happen.

I want this problem to get covered up. I want it to stop. I want everything to go back to the way it was before. I’m so tired.

“I was just messing with Sirus, by the way. I remember the day he snapped, and a lot of things happened.” She clarified. “I don’t think he killed his partner for the sole purpose of killing him.” She explained.

“Not like I did either. I’m trying to get him angry.” I sat back in my seat. “He’s been acting weird lately, and I have no idea why.”

“You’ll get distracted if he’s all you’re thinking about.” She snickered.

I would hope she wouldn’t join in on the teasing I’ve been subjected to for a couple weeks. It’s bad enough that people get hints about Sirus and I being together, as if actually being together for almost six years isn’t enough for them to realize, but I’m more concerned that people will bring it up and make it more of a big deal than it needs to be.

I pretended not to care but Hariette saw through it. I wanted to deflect the conversation on to something else but I was more curious about her than me.

Sirus doesn’t have a very long list of people he’s been with but there is a list.

Hariette was on it.

“So you and Sirus...” I didn’t have to finish.

“How’d you think I knew?” She put her hand to her neck, her fingers pressing on her throat, and I immediately knew what she meant about that.

My face was beginning to get hot because of her reference; she started to laugh when I understood what she meant. Honestly, this isn’t something I wanted to talk about.

And how does she specifically know about what’s going on anyway?

I didn’t tell.

And I swear to God if Sirus told her about that, I will kill him.

I am never taking sex advice from anyone ever again.

Especially from Hariette. She completely ruined what was left of the tiny speck of purity I had. There’s none left.

“You act like you haven’t gotten around either.” She sat back in her seat and moved her hair back over her shoulders.

“I...haven’t.” I admitted because it was true.

Getting into relationships wasn’t my concern. I didn’t want to have sex with anyone for no apparent reason either. I wasn’t interested. But then Sirus came along and ruined everything despite me telling him repeatedly that I didn’t want to.

Hariette was staring at me. I could feel her eyes boring holes into my face. My face was getting hotter by the second; I continued to get more and more embarrassed because it seems like I surround myself with people who are wild and driven by lust and have absolutely no rules.

“That’s not... Seriously?” She didn’t believe me. “I thought you and Serberous...” She stopped when I shook my head. “Aw, that’s so cute.” She said to patronize me.

It worked.

“How long has it been now?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Embarrassed?”

Maybe. My face was still hot. I wasn’t used to being put on the spotlight even if there’s no one around. I don’t like talking about this anymore. I want to leave.

“I should go do my job.” I said and lifted myself out of my seat.

“It’s okay, Aurora. I won’t say anything about you being a complete freak in-”

“Goodbye, Hariette.” I ran off before she could finish her statement.

I took an extra shift since Taurus works tonight. I found myself here longer than I’m supposed to be but that didn’t matter. I had things I could use as a distraction, and considering how I need to make up all the hours I skipped, a distraction is good.

I would rather do something that didn’t have my attention on the Rebellion. Just for one day, I want to do something else.

Taurus comes in a bit later but I didn’t mind waiting. I had some company so it’s fine.

However, I was getting more than just distracted while I tried to do my job for the night.

Sirus didn’t like that I wasn’t going home with him tonight. And when he’s in a position he doesn’t like, he finds a way around it. I didn’t find it to be torture when he showed up. Sometimes, I tell myself its not bothersome.

But other times, I’m the one making advances because I don’t mind relieving stress...or having a little fun.

I still have to remember where I am. I was picking up a shift for Portia. She works for the watch tower and unfortunately tonight the flight team is going up to the Mother Ship for the third time this month. There’s nothing up there anymore but the real hardcore engineers feel they can turn that massive floating piece of god-like machine to something spectacular.

I don’t care.

The one thing I was worried about was keeping my voice under control cause Sirus was really having his fun keeping his hand down my pants.

“Can you slow down?” I asked Sirus quietly when he started to grab too hard.

Knowing him, he would say no. In fact, he wouldn’t say anything since there was no reason to constantly remind me that he will do whatever he wants and I’ll have to stay down and take it.

I rolled my eyes when his fingers pressed down harder on me before moving further in my underwear. I can complain as much as I want but his behavior won’t change. I’m surprised he won’t take my pants off yet. He’s not much for letting clothes get in the way.

Other than not taking my clothes off, everything was typical.

I had to fix myself up on his lap just so he would take his hand out of my pants.

“You’re never excited to ride me-”

“I’m not excited to do anything.” I said and untucked my white shirt.

“That’s not true.” He got comfortable as I straddled his lap. “You prefer taking it from behind.”

I rolled my eyes again.

“You were perfectly fine with bending over our table-”

I covered his mouth so he won’t continue whatever he was going to say. This is the first time that I will admit that he isn’t wrong. That’s just based on the advice I got from my so called boss a while ago. My lack of argument gave him his answer; he licked the palm of my hand and watched me closely.

I forgot I was supposed to be monitoring the ship that was supposed to be ready to take off. For some reason, the two that were going up there weren’t talking either.

My hand pressed harder on Sirus’ face because I had this feeling he was going to open his mouth and say something much worse than anything I can come up with. My other hand felt for the small pack at my belt that controlled my headset.

“Alpha two to Beta one-”

“Ah, Aurora, you know we’re Alpha and you’re Beta, right?” Solar was quick to respond but apparently he had nothing to say for the past ten minutes.

“While I’m here, you’re Beta.” I said and put my hands down on Sirus’ shoulders. “I cleared you two ten minutes ago, what are you doing?” I asked.

“We got a little distracted.”

“A little? For ten minutes? Never mind. Do whatever.” I turned off the headset.

Sirus was getting touchy. His hands moved into my shirt, getting close to lifting it off me. He kissed my neck as he began to fondle me. I don’t know how many times I have to tell him that I get bored with all the touching and messing around.

“I hate foreplay.” I sighed quietly.

“How many times are you going to lie to me?” Sirus didn’t believe me but he never does.

“Believe what you want.”

His hands moved to my back, his fingers trailing down my spine to grab me at my ass. “I can prove it to you.” He said as he kissed my neck.

“Enlighten me.”

My hands moved in his hair as he groped me more, getting me to rub against him.

“You like when I put my hands on your back, not your waist.” As he said that, his hands moved to my waist and I shifted uncomfortably.

I just proved his point.

His hands moved to my back and surprisingly I was okay with it. I shook my head and waited since he had much more to tell me about myself.

“You think foreplay is fun. You just don’t want me to know.” He groped me again, his fingers rubbing hard against the fabric of my pants. I shifted again, my legs tensing up and my hands pulling on his hair.

“You’ve never been so wrong.” I said.

I know that I think foreplay is a waste of time in some cases. Sirus tends to draw things out and that’s what makes it torture. I feel like it’s his fault that I hate all the extra stuff.

His hands moved again, and this time I tensed again, more from slight surprise. One of his hands was just barely around my neck but it will take only a second before that changes.

“And I can’t believe I never knew about the whole-”

I covered his mouth to stop him. This is the second time I’ve had to do this.

I don’t want him to mention our most recent...experience with the whole...neck thing. What’s peculiar is that I know it makes him uncomfortable but he does it anyway. Is it because of how it makes me feel? That’s assuming that I feel something at all. I don’t find it odd enough to bring up how it actually does make him uncomfortable, but I am curious to know why.

I just don’t have the chance to ask why.

There was a muffled sound through my headset. The distraction was not needed. I sighed and lifted myself more to reach the device on my belt so I could settle the issue.

“Is there something we should be doing?” Solar asked as if the couple moments of pause wasn’t enough for him and his partner to figure it out.

“If you had gone by now, you’d be half way through the thermosphere by now.” I said.

“I didn’t know you knew what the thermosphere was.” Phoenix chimed in after staying quiet for so long. “That’s pretty good, I thought you were only a mechanical engineer, Aurora-”

“I wouldn’t have thought you would know-”

Are they patronizing me?

“I work...at NASA...? Are you serious? I hope you know I’ve been briefed on the procedures and general knowledge-”

“Damn, you get irritated fast-”

I snapped. “Cause you two think it’s funny to patronize me.” I got off Sirus to go check the monitors. There is no reason for them to waste more time doing absolutely nothing. “You’re clear again in ten minutes.” I said.

“Let’s just break through the orbiting satellites.”

“You want Hariette to end my life.” I sighed because them just breaking through orbiting satellites was a terrible.

“We’re kidding, Aurora. Relax a little.” Phoenix laughed.

“Yeah. Chill.” Solar agreed.

I rolled my eyes and turned off my headset again. I don’t think they get that I’m irritated. Thank goodness this is only a one night thing, I was getting a little anxious. Not only that, my face felt a bit hot and that was another thing that was putting me on edge. When I remembered that I actually was a little busy, I did my best to let it go. I turned to go back to Sirus but I could still hear Phoenix and Solar laughing loudly.

This is what I get for taking an extra shift in part of an occupation I don’t normally work for.

I sat down on Sirus’ lap again, this time my back to him. His hands moved around me, one between my legs, the other around my neck loosely, his fingers barely touching my skin.

“Since I can’t touch your waist, I’ll just...” His hand between my legs squeezed harder to make me straighten up on his lap.

I guess I gave him more power than he deserved.

It was a sudden decision for me to get up again, this time getting on him the way I was before.

“I don’t think you get the whole power play thing.” I said and let my fingers run through his hair.

“You can do whatever you want to me.” He was already satisfied enough with the idea of having sex while I’m working.

He’d sit back and take it if I told him. Then again, he has this compulsive need to keep me in my place, whatever place that is. Whatever happens happens so it doesn’t matter. Sex is sex. Nothing changes.

It’s sweaty, it’s gross, it’s disgusting. But it’s fun. It’s hot. It relieves stress. And goodness, I just can’t stop.

He smiled when he knew I was considering doing something right this second. And I was doing it all by myself too, no intense and forceful persuasion, no dragging me into it.

My fingers moved under his chin, lifting his head up higher so I could get close. It was enough for me to be centimeters away from him, to just barely be able to kiss him. I wouldn’t be a tease if I did that, now would I?

“We should go somewhere more private.” I whispered.

I am working. I know deep down, he’s just hoping that I slip up with my headset so the others could hear me. He thinks I get excited when there’s a chance someone might find out about what we do.

He wasn’t going to let me leave. His hand gripped my belt and yanked forward just to move my hips right on his. I’m not going anywhere apparently, and neither is he.

“We don’t have to go anywhere.” He kept me close to him.

“I’m still working, Sirus.” I didn’t stop him.

“It’s sexier that way.” He said, looking me in the eyes. And I believed him since he always bothered me at work or while I was doing something important.

My hips continued to move so I could grind on him. His hand let go of my belt but it wasn’t even a second later that he began to grope me, getting me to move more against him. That was beginning to feel good, I had to admit it. My hands moved to his chest and I began to yank his shirt up to get it untucked.

Before I could do anything else, especially about Sirus having his hands at my waist as I was straddling him, I noticed someone just about to walk in the room.

My worst nightmare.

It’s not like anything was happening but it was enough that I didn’t want anyone to see.

I completely forgot that Taurus was coming in tonight. And here I was just staring because I had no words. I wasn’t nervous, just struck. I didn’t move as she walked in casually like she hasn’t seen anything. She smiled too.

Sirus sighed, annoyed and seconds away from voicing his irritation because of the distraction. Taurus didn’t care. She was in a good mood, and she will always be nice to Sirus no matter what.

“Hi, Aurora.” She waved and walked over to get a chair. “Hey, Sirus.” She was just as polite.

“Can you give us ten minutes?” Sirus asked.

“Are you busy?” She asked.

I like how she’s playing clueless but she absolutely knows what she’s doing. She knows what’s going on, and it’s funny that I knew she was going to say no, especially when she smiled so nicely.

Sirus, on the other hand, was irritated.

And honestly, no one knows how to annoy Sirus better than my best friend I tell all my secrets to.

“How are you, Sirus? I haven’t seen you in a while.” She wasn’t curious but she made it sound like she was.

Sirus doesn’t like talking about himself, even the simple stuff like how his day is going or new things that happens with him. There’s nothing more annoying than someone pretending to care about a person who never pretends to care.

Sirus got me off him and got out of his seat so he could leave without another word out of his mouth. I didn’t try to reason with him because he’s been acting weird lately and a little punishment of no sex is fine as a motive to get him to tell me what’s going on.

I’ll just have to crack him a bit.

I brought the chair next to her and sat down. She continued to smile and spun in her chair before grabbing a headset.

“We’re Alpha tonight, by the way.”

“Well look at that.” She laughed. “So where have you been? I know Hariette has you on that secret project. I just haven’t worked with you since your heart attack.” She casually mentioned because I never told her the details about it.

“Serberous told you, didn’t he?” It was either him or Alara. Either way, she knows something. I think my absence gave away the severity of the situation, not to mention that I’m barely around because of the chip project Hariette has me on.

She shrugged. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed again. What happened that night is honestly a blur to me now. It’s hard to focus. Some part of me thinks that it never happened but I know it did.

I was stressed. All I can remember was the panic attack.

“When it happened, I thought it was just another anxiety attack.” I shook my head. “If Magnolia wasn’t there...”

“Don’t think about what could’ve happened.” She said because I got too distracted.

“I don’t know. I just...”

Don’t know.

“You’re fine now. That’s all that matters.” She said.

Of course it does.

“Hags called me this morning practically shouting because he just found out too. Surprisingly, he wasn’t pissed off.”

“Why would he be mad?”

“He knows you do stupid stuff, just like everyone else knows you do stupid stuff.” She glanced at me before turning her focus back to the monitors. “You always say something about your anxiety, but you always stress yourself out.”

“It must be the paranoia.” I said sarcastically.

“How long have you been here?” She asked. I wasn’t going to tell her that it’s been fifteen hours. “Take a break.” She figured it’s been a while.

I wasn’t tired. I wasn’t tired enough to leave. I just need to do something that doesn’t remind me of what’s going on in the real world. I’m tired of the real world. I want to do something else for a day or two.

“I mean, you can go find Sirus and-”

“Let’s not talk about anything you saw.” I turned my attention elsewhere since I knew where she was going with this.

“I see a lot of things.” She pointed out.

I have to admit that I’m never really secretive when it comes to things that has to do with Sirus, especially the...stuff that should be private and personal. I just don’t want to talk about it. Taurus doesn’t do anything when she sees me run off somewhere, or when I don’t come back to work after some time.

“There’s actually a lot to notice.” She continued. “You were with Serberous the other day, weren’t you? You always get so happy to see him.”

I rubbed my forehead and took a breath. I know exactly where she was going with this and that’s the part I didn’t want to talk about. She’s the only person I can have this talk with, even though I don’t want to talk about it.

“Then there’s Sirus. With him, you emote more, you make all these faces and get angry.” She laughed quietly and when I glanced at her she covered her mouth to stop it. “It’s funny to watch you two fight.”

Why? Is it the sarcasm? The comebacks? The way I wish I could just do something to Sirus but physically won’t because he’ll fight back? I emote more because Sirus pushes my patience. And I won’t say I don’t do the same to him.

“But I’m curious.” Taurus started as she looked at me.

She wants to know why I never...why Serberous isn’t in Sirus’ place. It made me think a little, but I knew the overall answer. To think that Taurus cared enough to want to know isn’t uncommon. This subject, however, it’s touchy.

“Serberous knows too much about me.” I said. “I tell him everything like it’s effortless. And he’s understanding so I don’t feel bad about saying anything.”

And it sounds like I would get along better with Serberous. I do get along better with him. He’s one of my closest friends that wasn’t in the same social circle back when we were in space. Everything was easier with Serberous. There were times where he wasn’t the nicest, where I got on his nerves, where we would get mad at each other, but I’ve deduced it to what friendship is. He just knows way too much about me. We get along. We like the same stuff, and he’s understanding, which is something I need because I’m not good at saying what I want anymore.

“But...” I didn’t know how to word what I wanted to say. “I... need more than just a shoulder to cry on when things get tough.” I said.

And this is where Sirus comes in.

“Sirus has never once thought I was broken because of how bad my anxiety is. He doesn’t try to get me to see what’s better in life or all the good stuff that matters.” I explained. He calls it all crap and it’s a waste to paint society as better than it truly is. And he told me this even when I use to blindly follow society and the Computer and all that. “And I’m okay with him not caring about everything I deal with, I just see it as my problems not being significant to care about, which means I’ll be able to fix it and get over it.”

Sirus doesn’t make things that difficult when it comes to my problems. He doesn’t sit me down to talk about what’s going on. Like always, he tells me to stop letting people walk all over me, to stop letting situations get the better of me, to stop freaking out, to stop getting paranoid over the little things. And it’s easier said than done. But he wants me to act like I’m not being bothered until it truly doesn’t bother me.

I guess his approach to things is helpful for me, especially with everything I’ve dealt with.

I need someone who’s not always going to bring up everything I’m going through. And to say that Sirus doesn’t care may be a little harsh, because deep down -so deep down- I know he cares enough to want to check on me. He just doesn’t bring it up because I don’t like when anyone brings it up.

Taurus stared at me for a moment and thought to herself. This was while I was thinking to myself as well. Maybe my explanation doesn’t make any sense or its worthless. I didn’t do a good job of explaining it anyway. But I know what I want and I’m okay with what I have. I’m dealing with everything.

“You have absolutely no idea how powerful you are.” She shook her head. “But I won’t say anything.” She added when I was about to explain myself further.

“Taurus...”

“One day, I wish I could be in a relationship just like-”

“No.” I stopped her, holding my hand up so she wouldn’t say something that’s not true. “I am not in a relationship. Please do not think of it as such.”

“Aurora-”

“No.” I stopped her again.

“You two are the weirdest couple.” She said and moved her chair so she could face the screen.

“Taurus, please do not say things like that.” I said quickly, my face getting hot. I would prefer if she wouldn’t bring this up again, but I know her, and she’s going to say something about it.

She remained quiet for a moment, then she glanced at me, a smile widening on her face. I can’t believe I’m going to spend the night with her. This was a mistake.

“Can’t believe Hags is missing this.” She said to herself but I definitely heard her.

No one needs to know about our conversations. This needs to stay between us. Just as I started to complain to her, she started to laugh. It really isn’t that funny and I wish she wouldn’t tease me about this. It only makes me blush and I hate that.

The entire shift I had to endure her teasing. My face stayed hot, and I couldn’t hide the blushing because she would only make it worse. I should be worrying about serious things, like the Rebellion and how I’m going to get out of my charges once this is over, not something as trivial as my relationship with someone else. However, Taurus had no problem bringing it up and getting me all flustered. This has to stay between us.