Play With Me (Playing For Keeps Book 2)

JENNIE

“Mom, stop. I’m fine, I promise.”

She swipes at the tears beneath her bloodshot eyes, the ones she insists aren’t really there. She folds her trembling hands together in her lap, and I cover them with mine.

“I was so scared,” she whispers.

My heart plummets. I pull my mom into my arms, hugging her tight. Once is too many times to be on the receiving end of a phone call where a drunk driver has been involved.

“I’m safe. Olivia and the baby are safe, and Carter is safe. We’re all safe.”

Everyone other than Randall Duncan. Randall’s got a broken nose. His mouth is busted up pretty good too.

The other two got off easy, deciding they’d rather not be on the receiving end of Carter’s fist after they saw the damage he was doing to Randall. They scrambled away but didn’t get far.

Randall blew a 0.23 BAC, nearly triple the legal limit. I’ve been sitting here for the last hour, thinking about what might have happened if he’d gotten behind that wheel, whose life might have been lost.

My mom kisses my forehead. “I’m going to find the vending machine.”

“Okay.” I pick at the needle in the back of my hand where my IV is attached. “This thing is itchy as fuck. Can I take it out?”

“Jennifer Beckett, don’t touch it. Wait for the nurse to come back. You passed out, for heaven’s sake.”

“I had a panic attack.” I roll my eyes to make it sound like anything other than the big deal it was while I try to forget that, in that moment, all I could think about was a drunk driver taking the life of another person I love. “I’m gonna go see Olivia.”

Mom pushes me right back down to the bed when I stand. “You’ll wait here until I get back.”

I’m back on my feet when the door shuts behind her. My IV pole and I head out the door.

I find Olivia’s room in thirty seconds; I can hear Carter arguing with the staff.

“Oh, she can’t eat this. We’ll see the premium food menu, please.”

“Uh, we only have the one menu, Mr. Beckett.”

I watch from the doorway as Carter holds up a triangle of grilled cheese between his thumb and forefinger, keeping it at a distance like a disease might jump out.

“This is way too soggy. What kind of cheese is this? Ollie likes her grilled cheese on pumpernickel rye with aged smoked gouda, bonus points if you add bacon.”

“Right, well, we don’t, uh…” The poor woman scratches at her throat, face red. “We don’t have smoked gouda.”

Carter sighs, tossing the sandwich back to the tray. “Okay.”

Olivia smiles up at the woman. “It’s perfect. Thank you so much.” Her gaze finds mine in the doorway when the woman leaves. “Jennie! How are you feeling?”

Carter leaps out of his seat and flies across the room, guiding me across it by my elbow at the pace of a literal snail. “Easy,” he murmurs.

“Carter.” I shake off his grip, but if I’m being honest, it feels nice to be on the receiving end of his attention, even if it’s selfish of me. Olivia and the baby are more important, and they’re his life. They need him right now, not me. “I can walk all on my own.”

“‘I can walk all on my own,’” he mimics, leading me to his chair. His large hands swallow my entire head as he yanks me into him, plopping a kiss to my hair. When he sits on the other side of Olivia’s bed, I notice his swollen, cracked knuckles, an angry shade of red. “Don’t know how I got saddled with two snarky brunettes.”

The chances that he’s about to be saddled with a third in a few weeks are ridiculously high, but he looks incredibly strung out right now. I won’t push him.

Olivia reaches for my hand, and I scoot closer, snuggling into her.

“I’m sorry,” I murmur into her hair before I pull away.

“Sorry? What are you sorry for?”

“You were scared and sick and you needed me and I—”

“Absolutely not. None of this is your fault.” She whips around, pointing a finger at Carter. “And it’s not yours, either, so don’t even think about going down that road again.”

Carter’s chin hits his fist as he frowns and mouths, Meow.

“So what’s going on?” I lay my hand on her belly, giving it a little rub.

“The baby’s fine. We saw him or her wiggling around on the ultrasound machine, and—” She holds up a hand, silencing Carter when he opens his mouth. “That was a goddamn arm, Carter, don’t make me tell you again.” His face falls, and I swallow my snicker. “Heart rate was good. Everything looks good.”

“And what about you? How’s Mama feeling?”

“I’m good,” she replies, but her words are soft, careful. “The whole thing was just scary.”

“The doctor said she’s under too much stress,” Carter grumbles. “Probably the kids at school, and then this…”

Yes, probably the kids at school…

“I’ve developed gestational hypertension, where your blood pressure is elevated,” Olivia clarifies. “It’s okay, but we’ll need to do some monitoring. It can lead to more serious things, like preeclampsia.”

I’ve never seen Carter look more scared than he does right now as he brings his wife’s hand to his mouth, brushing a kiss across her knuckles, his other hand moving slowly over her belly.

“I’m going to take care of you,” he promises. “Baths and foot rubs and every meal delivered right to you, and I’ll carry you down the stairs and—”

“And I don’t think I’ll be allowed to do anything for myself until this baby decides to exit.”

I laugh quietly. “I’ll help with whatever you need.”

Olivia’s smile is grateful. “Thanks, Jennie.”

“I was trying to figure out if there was a way to keep this from Garrett,” Carter starts, “but I’m pretty sure Cara already opened her big mouth.”

I frown. “Why would you want to keep this from him?”

“Because I know how he is. He won’t say anything, but he’ll get this idea in his head that, once upon a time, it could’ve been his dad’s fuckup. He’ll wonder if it reminds us of Dad, and then he’ll talk himself into believing that he means less to us because he loves someone that took advantage of the same thing that killed our dad, that put us all in danger today.”

“Garrett has a big heart,” Olivia says softly, gaze flitting my way. “I’m not surprised he takes on the guilt of others. But we’ll make sure he knows how important he is to us.”

I don’t want him to second-guess, the way he did when his dad nearly relapsed. I don’t want him to carry around the weight of someone else’s decisions. I want to show him how loved he is, not only by me but by everyone.

“I better get back to my room before Mom returns from finding the vending machine. I’ll check in on you tomorrow.” I stand, and Carter loops his arm through mine, leading me into the hallway.

“How are you? You’re good, right? You’re okay?” His vibrant green eyes bounce between mine, the concern heavy and dark, like it’s the only thing he’s capable of feeling right now.

So how do I tell him the answer is no? That even though I’m physically fine, I feel like I’m walking on a tightrope, ready to plummet? That in the moment when he collided with those three drunk men, when they fell to the ground together, when Olivia screamed and it felt like my lungs were being crushed, I genuinely thought he was going to die?

I get it; it’s extreme. But that’s the way life works after you’ve lost someone to a tragedy. No matter how good things are going, you’re constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, for something horrific and life altering to happen, to have your happiness snatched from your hands no matter how tightly you cling to it.

But Carter doesn’t have time to worry about me. I can’t put this on him.

So I plaster on a smile and promise, “I feel fine, Carter.”

He visibly deflates before pulling me into one of his suffocating holds.

We both tense when we hear Olivia’s weak voice call his name, followed by the sound of retching. He kisses my temple and disappears, and I tuck myself back into my room.

“Where were you? I was worried sick.”

With a pointed look at my mom, I take a seat on the edge of the bed. She’s chowing down on a Snickers. “You really look it.” Sighing, I start picking at the medical tape on my hand. I want to get the hell out of here. I’m growing antsier by the minute.

It’s another half hour before Nurse Matt walks in, all smiles. “All right, Miss Jennie. You’re good to go. Stay hydrated and get a good meal in you. Maybe relax with a movie tonight.” He takes my hand in his, disconnecting the IV and removing the needle. He covers the small pinprick with a Wonder Woman bandage and winks. “Got you the special ones.”

I giggle, reaching for my coat. “Thanks, Matt.”

Matt glances away, then back. “So, there’s not a great time to ask you this, and I know your mom is here, but I, uh…well, I think you’re really funny and I was wondering if you might like to maybe…” He clears his throat into his fist. “Give me your number.”

I wish it were my imagination, but my mom absolutely squeals, hitting me with two thumbs up.

“Thank you for asking, Matt, and I think you’re funny too. But I’m not available.”

“What?” Mom’s wide eyes meet mine. “Wait. Really?”

“It’s new, but I am confident about where it’s going.” I smile at Matt. “Thank you so much for your help tonight.”

Mom pounces as soon as we step out, heading for the waiting room where our family waits. “You’re seeing someone? Since when? Who is he? Why haven’t I met him? Will you bring him for dinner?”

I rub my temple as if I can scrub away the pain. Everything is achy, and my brain feels so muddled. I want to crawl into bed and forget any of this happened. “Can we talk about this later?” I ask as the room comes into sight, Cara jumping to her feet. “I’m tired and I want—Garrett.”

The doors to the waiting room burst open, revealing the only man I want to see right now, his desperate gaze sweeping the space. His wild eyes land on me, and I don’t know why my knees start quivering, why all the weight on my shoulders suddenly melts and my eyes well with tears, but the second he murmurs my name and starts moving across the room, I move too.

I throw my arms around his neck, and my legs circle his waist the moment he hoists me up. When his lips meet mine, a collective gasp moves through the room.

My mom is squealing again.

Garrett rests his forehead on mine. “Are you okay?”

With my hand on his cheek, I nod, and those fucking tears work their way out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I bury my face in his neck as he holds me tight.

“I was so scared,” he whispers. “So fucking scared, Jennie.”

“I didn’t know,” Cara whisper-yells at Emmett, arms in the air. “Okay, I knew, like, a little bit.” She points at Adam and Jaxon, who followed Garrett in. “But they knew too!”

Emmett throws his arms overhead. “Oh, so everyone knew except me?”

“That’s not true,” Cara argues.

Adam scrubs a hand over his face. “Yeah, Carter also doesn’t know.”

“I didn’t know!” Mom cries, hands clasped under her chin. “But I’m so happy!”

“What?” Hank asks, head whipping back and forth. “What am I missing? What’s happening?”

Cara leans over, whispering in his ear, and a smile erupts on his face.

“Oh boy. Carter’s not gonna like that now, is he? Mr. Nice Guy Adam might have been a safer bet, Jennie, but if you’re going to go for it, go all the way, that’s what I always say.”

Garrett sighs. “I’m sorry. I acted without thinking. I saw you and I…I…I don’t know, Jennie. I was terrified.”

I press my whispered words to his lips. “I love you.”

“Oh shoot. Fuck. Fuck.” Mom’s body collides with ours. She slaps at my arm, trying to fit her hands between us, then yanks on my shoulder. “Down. Get down!”

“Carter!” Cara calls, then dashes down the hall, out of sight.

I slip down Garrett’s body, and he lifts my hand to his lips and gives me a sad smile before stepping away. Five seconds later, Cara and Carter appear, followed by a doctor.

“Everything’s fine. Olivia’s fine, and the baby is fine.” Without Olivia by his side, he looks years older, utterly exhausted. The skin on his face is ashy and muted, eyes lacking their usual playful sparkle. He looks…broken. “They’re gonna keep us overnight—”

“Uh.” The doctor pushes her glasses up her nose. “We technically only need to keep Mrs. Bec—” Her teeth clatter when she slams her jaw, meeting Carter’s menacing expression. “Both of you. We definitely need to keep both of you.”

“They’re going do some monitoring before sending her home in the morning. She’s gotta go off work until the baby comes, take it easy and hang out on the couch.” Carter hangs his head. “I don’t want her to be alone.”

“She won’t be,” Jeremy, Olivia’s brother, says. He tugs Carter into his arms, clapping a hand to his back. “We’ll watch out for her when you’re on the road.”

A camera flash goes off, and Cara pulls her phone back, sniffling. “She’ll never believe you two hugged if I don’t have photographic evidence.” She pats at the raw skin below her eyes and slings her purse over her shoulder. “Okay, I’m going to get her a twenty pack of spicy nuggets and a large Oreo McFlurry. She can’t eat this hospital slop.” She embraces me tightly. “So glad you’re safe, Jennie. I’ll come by in the morning with some breakfast for you.”

When she pulls back, I find Carter’s gaze on me. He’s shut down, I think. I almost don’t recognize him like this, and I don’t know what’s changed so quickly, or if he simply can’t handle any more.

He looks between Garrett and me. “Since you’re here, Gare, do you mind taking Jennie home? That way I can stay.”

Garrett nods, his hand on my lower back as he gently guides me forward, and as soon as we’re through the doors, he threads his fingers through mine and tells me how much he loves me.

There’s something to be said about a man who drives with only one hand on the wheel. Something so inherently sexy about the way he finds a way to keep a hand on my thigh the entire time, squeezing, fingers trailing, like he needs to feel me to know I’m there, I’m safe.

He doesn’t let go until we’re in my apartment, where he forces me to the kitchen island to eat before disappearing down my hallway.

When I’m finished, I find Garrett in the main bathroom, sleeves rolled to his elbows as he kneels in front of the tub. He wipes his wrist across his face, and when he stands and turns to me, his right brow is covered in bubbles.

I giggle, swiping them away. “What are you doing?”

“I ran you a bubble bath. So you can relax.”

“Thank you. That’s sweet of you.” I stand still as he undresses me. “Are you going to get in with me? It’s a big tub.”

“Do you want me to?”

I nod, reaching for the hem of his shirt, and he lets me peel it off him.

He turns on the music and helps me in, then steps in behind me, sinking into the bubbles. Fingers wrapping around my hips, he guides me down between his legs. When I sink with a sigh, he winds his arms around me and buries his face in my neck.

“Garrett?” I place my hand on his as it slides over my belly. “I love you, and I’m proud of you.”

“Proud of me? For what?”

“For giving your dad the chance to change. For supporting him always, even if sometimes the journey has felt long and challenging.” I turn my head when I feel his cheek on my shoulder, and he peers up at me. “I’m proud of your dad for choosing himself and his family, because I can’t imagine how hard it is to fight your addiction every day. He’s so strong, and I hope I’ll get to meet him one day.”

Garrett covers my mouth with his. “Thank you, Jennie. I know today isn’t about me, but I think I really needed to hear that.”

“What are we going to do about tomorrow? I don’t want to stress Olivia out with all of this, but I’m tired of hiding.”

“I don’t know. Maybe we can get her advice, see what she thinks is best.”

That sounds like a good idea, but if I’m being honest, there’s more on my mind than just telling my brother about us without giving him a heart attack and sending Olivia into labor too early.

“Garrett?”

“Yeah?”

“You said you didn’t see any end in sight, but…What about my interview? Maybe I should just cancel.”

“You have to go,” he insists quietly. “I know you aren’t sure if it’s what you want anymore, but you owe it to yourself to check it out, give it a chance. Go to Toronto and see how you feel.”

“But what if I feel empty without you?”

“I don’t think that’s possible. You don’t need me to make you feel full. You’re already enough. It’s okay to not want to be apart, but I don’t want you to make any decisions because of me.”

“I don’t want to lose this.” Him. I don’t want to lose him.

“We won’t. If you want this, even if you want to leave, we’ll work it out. I promise.”

A soft moan leaves my lips as he trails his fingers along the inside of my thigh in the warm water as he palms my breast. “It’s hard to focus when you’re doing that.”

“That’s the point,” he murmurs against my neck. “I want you to forget, just for a few minutes. Forget about today, forget about tomorrow, forget about the job.” He drags one finger up my slit, making me shudder. “Let me take care of you. Let me do something.”

“You do everything.” My head falls to his shoulder as he pushes inside me. “You are everything.”

“You’re my everything.”

I’ve never been anyone’s anything, but Garrett makes me feel like I haven’t missed a thing, like all this time I was simply waiting for him so he could show me what it meant to be loved so wholly, to find your best friend, your partner, your soul mate, all in one. To find the person who knows just how you tick, how to help when you’re too stubborn to ask for it, how to be patient and let you crawl out of your shadow at your own pace, all while being confident in knowing that he’s there, he’s waiting, and he’ll keep waiting. The person who matches your rhythm, whose smooth edges soften your jagged ones.

I don’t know how to put all that into words, to tell him exactly what he means to me, so as his fingers move inside me, each thrust purposeful and deep, as his thumb circles with precision, I reach back, fingers sinking through his locks, holding him close. And as he stares down at me, so much unbridled love shining in his eyes, as he brings me higher while the music drifts around us, encasing us in this perfect bubble of happiness, I press my mouth to his.

“Just a small cup,” Garrett tells me sternly, watching me slip on his button-up shirt over my panties as he drains the tub. “Too much hot chocolate will keep you up.” He pulls his boxer briefs on and claps a hand to my ass as we stumble into the hallway, and he calls for Google to turn the music off.

“What if I’m not tired?” I press him against the wall. “What if I wanna take you to Pound Town?”

He chuckles, hands sliding up the backs of my thighs, squeezing my ass. “If anyone’s taking anyone to Pound Town, it’s me taking you.”

“Maybe you can take me first, and I’ll take you second.”

“Tomorrow, sunshine.” The amused but firm look in his eyes tells me he’s not going to relent, and when I sigh, he takes my chin and sears me with a kiss. “Don’t be a brat.”

“Sounds like a challenge to me, big guy.”

Taking his hand in mine, I tow him toward the kitchen. The glow of the light above the stove throws shadows across the dark hall, and my chest tightens as one of those shadows steps out of the doorway, into the light.

“Carter,” I breathe out, Garrett’s body crashing into mine as I skid to a stop.

“Shit.” Garrett wraps his hands around my waist, keeping me upright. The warm air from the vents nips at my bare legs, like the heat from his bare chest as he holds me to him.

“I knocked,” Carter whispers, gaze ricocheting between us, barely dressed and still wet. With each moment that passes, his chest heaves faster, each breath shallower than the last. “But you didn’t…I was worried you…I…”

“Hey, man, listen.” Garrett takes a step forward, hands out in front of him like he’s approaching a trapped animal.

Carter’s eyes flash with anger, betrayal, and his fists ball as he stares at me. He steps back.

I shake my head, reaching for him. “No, it’s not…it’s not…” My heart leaps to my throat as he takes another step back, then another. “Carter.”

I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t this, the silence. Rage, I think I could deal with. Screaming. But not this, not my brother who always has something to say just standing here staring at us, at me, like he’s never felt so deceived.

I want him to fight with me, to get it all out. I want him to tell me he’s angry we lied. I want to tell him that for the first time in my life, I’m in love with a man who treats me like the dream he always wanted.

Instead, he grips the doorhandle and turns away.

“Carter, please,” I beg. “Don’t go.” The weight of the day returns all at once, crushing my chest. I lay my hand over it, clutching it as I struggle to breathe. Tears come without warning, streaming down my cheeks, and as Carter hesitates, head down, I whisper, “I’m sorry.”

He looks to the ceiling, throat bobbing.

“No,” he finally utters, the word barely audible. He tugs the door open, but before it slams behind him, he gives us two more words, and that bubble I was so content to stay in shatters around us like glass. “Fuck this.”