Play With Me: Chapter 38
JENNIE
I love this bubble.
Everything about it is warm and bright. I’m constantly basking in sunshine, wrapped in strong arms, pulled back against a solid chest, a steady stream of “I love you” whispered in my ear.
Worry doesn’t live here. There’s no place for fears or insecurities. Those things only exist outside the bubble, where we’re forced to pretend there isn’t an us, that we aren’t two halves of an incredible whole.
This is my favorite place to be, right next to this man, surrounded by his love, his support, the way he constantly lifts me up.
I smooth my palm over his bare chest, feeling the heat of his skin, the gentle thrum of the heart that beats below. I wonder if he knows that I radiate happiness because he gave me the space to shine.
My lips touch his collarbone, and the body below me hums and comes to life, hugging me to his chest with one muscular arm while the other shoots up over his head with a stretch, long legs flexing.
“You’re such a fuckin’ bed hog,” Garrett grumbles, right before I’m on my back, flattened by the weight of his body sprawled on mine.
His lids flutter, sleepy turquoise eyes peering down at me. The corner of his mouth lifts as he shifts, straddling my hips, fingers circling my wrists as he pins them on either side of my head.
“My bed,” he murmurs, kissing my shoulder. “My Jennie.” His lips move up my neck, my chin, until he’s hovering above me, shaggy golden hair a mess. A grin blossoms on his face, so warm and inviting, intoxicating. “My fucking sunshine.” His mouth covers mine, tongue sweeping inside as he releases my wrists to thread our fingers together, to light a fire of desire inside me as he skims my side.
Garrett grips my waist as he grinds down on me. I wind my legs around him and moan, hips lifting, silently begging, and I swallow his sigh as he sinks inside.
“How many times is too many?”
I gasp as he hikes my leg up, plunging deeper. “To have sex?”
“To tell you I love you.”
“I like hearing it. No one’s ever loved me the way you love me, and I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”
He smiles down at me before resting his forehead on mine. As we move together, both of us taking and giving, when I come with him inside me and he follows me, I don’t know where I end and he begins. We’re just one; one body, one love, one heart.
“Are you excited for tonight?” he asks as I pull on a pair of panties and my sleep romper, the one he got me for Christmas with angel scrawled across the ass, finishing with a pair of his thick, woolly socks.
I crawl back onto the bed, sitting cross-legged. “Yes and no. I hate having to pretend we’re only friends.”
It’s been like this for two weeks now, this on and off where I’m in a relationship one moment and single the next, having to hide every time we’re around our friends. The glances from the people who know make it harder, but it’s the person who doesn’t know that makes it impossibly terrifying. Tonight will be no different, but still, I’m glad to have friends to spend my time with, to be enjoying a night out with them. Though I wish I was allowed to dance with my boyfriend.
Garrett picks up my hand, laying my palm up. He traces all the lines, the length of my fingers, and his throat bobs before he peeks up at me. “I want to tell Carter.”
I can’t say I didn’t see this coming. He’s been a ball of angst lately where Carter’s involved.
It’s taking a toll on him, though Garrett hasn’t outwardly admitted it, other than saying he wishes he could have his hands on me all the time. Most of the time he finds a way, whether it’s skimming my lower back as he moves past me, his pinky tucked around mine if we’re lucky enough to sit next to each other on a couch or at a table. If we’re especially lucky, I get a full-hand ass grab.
But what started out as fun and a simple lie has turned into a full-blown secret relationship behind my brother’s back, one of Garrett’s best friends. Carter might be self-absorbed, but his family and friends are his world, and lying to him for so long feels like the ultimate betrayal. He’s my forever best friend, my protector, the shoulder that’s always been there every time I needed one. That I’ve been lying to him for so long might break his heart, and I’m ashamed to be the reason behind it.
“I don’t like lying to him anymore, Jennie. Not when I don’t see an end in sight for us.”
My heart pitter-patters. “You don’t?”
“I really don’t, sunshine.”
“Oh good.” My body sags with relief. “Neither do I, but I don’t know how these things go.”
“Would you be up for telling him tomorrow morning? Together? Maybe if we ask him and Olivia to come over for breakfast. Or, you ask him, so he doesn’t have a heart attack before he even gets here.” His laugh is forced and anxious, and he rubs at his chest with a grimace.
I squeeze his hand. “You’re nervous.”
In his anxious gaze, I see the unrelenting compassion that swims in it, all his soft, gentle bits that make him who he is, the man I love.
“I’m worried he won’t think I’m good enough for you.”
“You are so good for me, Garrett. But more than that, we’re good for each other. You’ve helped me overcome things in a few months that I haven’t been able to get over in several years. I think in the end that’ll be what matters to Carter.”
Garrett gnaws his lip. “Maybe I’ll bring Oreos as a peace offering. I’ve been hanging on to a special edition flavor from the States for this occasion.”
“You’re joking. How long?”
“Adam’s mom last sent me a box at Christmas, so…around then?”
“But—”
“But nothing. That’s when I realized I had feelings for you, and would eventually need to bribe Carter into letting me date his sister.”
“I might not have been interested,” I toss back with a cheeky grin.
He crawls over me, pushing me back to the mattress. “Like hell you wouldn’t have been. You’re obsessed with me.”
The alarm on his phone blares, and he drops his forehead to my chest with a groan.
I push his hair back off his face. “You’ve gotta get ready. There are some excited kids waiting to meet their hero.”
“I can’t believe I’m anyone’s hero.”
“I can.” He’s been mine before, even if I always wanted to be the only one who saved me. But sometimes you need to let someone else in so they can help save you.
With Adam spending so much time at the children’s home, he’s built some incredible connections with the kids there and turned them all into hockey fans. At their last early afternoon home game, he bought tickets for everyone, provided all the snacks, and organized a tour before the game. Today he’s got the entire team paying them a visit.
“You gonna drive over to Carter and Ollie’s this morning, or do you want me to drop you off on my way to Adam’s?” Garrett calls from the bathroom as he cranks the shower.
It’s only the first day of March, but spring is peeking its head out here on the west coast. I’m not complaining; I hate having to choose between my cute coat and my warm coat.
With the absence of snow, I’ve been getting back out on the road more with Carter’s car. I haven’t hit any stop signs, and in fact, I now stop about ten feet away. Garrett says that’s not great, either, but Garrett can kiss my ass.
“Can you give me a ride?” I’ve been casually dropping to Carter that Garrett’s been giving me rides to school on his way to grab his morning coffee. It should work in our favor, because it shows Carter our friendship is growing, that we’ve had time to get to know each other.
Or maybe I’m totally delusional and hoping for a miracle.
“Oh, that reminds me,” I yell over the shower. “I had to get air in the tires yesterday. I got a great deal!”
Nothing but the sound of water raining down.
And then: “A deal? On air?”
“Yeah, I took it to that shop over on Renfrew, and they knocked the price down to four hundred dollars!”
The water stops, silence hanging heavy in the air as steam seeps from the bathroom. Slow as molasses, Garrett appears in the doorway, naked, soaking wet, not even bothering to cover his XL cock.
“Pardon?”
“A hundred bucks a tire! For premium air! Can you believe it?”
“P…Premium air?”
“They said they normally charge double!”
“Oh my God.” His hands come up, head moving rapidly between them like he isn’t sure what to do, before he finally drags them down his face. “Oh my God. Jennie, what the fuck? How-how-how…You got ripped off!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Air is—oh my God! Jennie, it costs, like, a dollar to put air in your tires!”
“What?”
His arms fly around his head. “You do it at the gas station! At those little pumps with the hose! Jesus fuck.” He scrubs his face, and I think it’s hilarious he’s somehow managing to get an erection right now. “We’re gonna have to skip breakfast. We’ll stop at the shop on the way to Carter’s. I’ll get you your money back.”
My chest rumbles. I bite my lip, trying to stop it, but when Garrett’s flustered gaze meets mine, I can’t help it. A snicker-snort comes out my nose, and I fold forward as the rest of my laugh comes barreling out.
“It’s a TikTok trend,” I choke out, rolling on the bed. “I can’t believe you fell for it. You’re so gullible!”
He picks up a balled-up pair of socks and tosses it at my head. “I’m gonna fuck your brains out later tonight just for that.”
“Oh no,” I mock. “Anything but that.” I hop off the bed and head into the bathroom, slipping my arms around his middle and hugging him from behind. “I love you.”
“You Becketts and your fucking TokToks.”
“TikToks.” I give him another squeeze, Lieutenant Johnson one quick pump. “I’ll go make us breakfast.”
“Jennie?” he calls after me. “I love you too.”
I know he does, that’s why I make him a four-pancake stack, topped with Reese’s spread and sliced bananas, dusted with icing sugar and drizzled with real maple syrup, with a side of Canadian bacon. I just finish plating it when he claps two hands firmly to my ass, making me gasp.
“Your ass looked lonely without my hands on it.” He kisses my cheek and inhales. “Looks and smells incredible.”
“Thank you. It’s all natural.”
He pinches my butt. “I was talking about breakfast, you turtle.”
He spins me around, and I push him back a step, gaze coasting down his body. He’s so ridiculously beautiful it hurts.
“What is this?” I ask, touching the collar of his jacket.
He looks down at himself. “A jean jacket.”
“Hmm. I’m into it.”
He grins and tugs on the denim lapels. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I murmur, skimming the buttons as my teeth press into my bottom lip. Gripping the collar, I yank him down to me. “I’m into you.”
Garrett laughs, hearty and rumbly, both hands on my butt, squeezing. The tip of his nose touches mine as he brushes a soft kiss to my lips. “I can’t wait until I get to love you out in the open.”
“I’m ready,” I tell him honestly.
“Me too.”
“This is the most incredible thing in the world.”
“Isn’t it?” Olivia’s brown eyes shine as she smiles down at her stomach. “I wish you could feel it from the inside.”
My palm glides over her firm, round belly, searching for my niece or nephew. Olivia takes my hand and places it on the right, near the bottom of her rib cage. She presses my hand into her skin and a moment later something pushes back.
I gasp, watching in wonder as her stomach jumps.
“Auntie J loves you so much already,” I whisper to my niece or nephew, running my hand over the home that’s kept him or her safe. “I can’t wait to meet you.”
The front door opens, and Dublin flies off the couch and down the hallway.
“Hi, Dubs,” Carter coos. “Who’s my handsome man? Did you miss Daddy? Daddy missed you. Yes, I did, Mr. Handsome.” He strolls into the living room, carrying the seventy-pound dog in his arms before setting him down. “Saying hi to your nephew?”
“Or niece,” I point out, then gasp when he essentially shoves me to the floor so he can press his hands to Olivia’s belly. I slam my fist into his quad. “You asshole.”
“Hi, baby,” he speaks against her stomach. “How’s my little man?”
“Carter, for fuck’s sake, help your sister up and stop assuming the sex of our baby.”
“Okay, bossy pants.” He hoists me back to the couch, then cups Olivia’s face and presses a kiss to her lips. “But you’re gonna feel awfully silly when that baby comes out all man.”
“You’re the one that didn’t want to find out,” I remind him.
“Because I just know.” He taps his temple and winks. “Call it a father-son connection.”
“Call it ignorance,” Olivia mutters, then smiles brightly when Carter sets a treat-filled plate on the coffee table. “Mmm, come to mama.”
“Weren’t you on a no-junk-food kick?” I ask as they dig in.
“I’ve learned it’s best to have no goals or expectations when pregnant. That way I don’t get upset with myself when I accidentally go through the Taco Bell drive-thru, order three tacos, one Crunchwrap Supreme, and large chili cheese fries, then devour all four in ten minutes.”
“Should we find out?” Carter asks suddenly. “The gender? We still have a month. We could find out. Do you wanna find out?” He holds up a hand. “No, don’t answer that. I don’t wanna find out.”
He flops down in a chair, drumming his fingers. Is his eye twitching? His jaw definitely is. He sweeps his hand out and then second-guesses, bringing it back in, resting his chin on his fist.
“What if it’s a girl? It won’t be, right? No, because my mom had me first, and your mom had Jeremy first, so that means we’ll have a boy first. It’s just, like, science.”
I open my mouth to tell him that’s not how it works, but Olivia touches my hand and gives her head the tiniest shake, continuing to watch Carter. He’s alternating between staring off into space and tugging at his hair, going off about genetics and DNA, both of which he’s not qualified to talk about.
Suddenly, he leaps to his feet, eyes wild as he lays a hand on his chest. “If it’s a girl, Olivia, I will die. I. Will. Die.” He storms down the hallway, shoving his fingers through his hair and muttering to himself. Heavy footsteps pound up the stairs.
“What the hell was that? And did he just call you by your full name?” The only time I’ve heard it in conversation is when they said their vows. It’s Ollie, Ol, Liv, princess, pumpkin, pumpkin pie, or Mrs. Beckett, but never Olivia unless he’s singing that song he likes.
Olivia waves a dismissive hand through the air. “He’s just made himself a girl dad in his head, and now he’s thinking about the fact that one day somebody will try to take her from him. It really upsets him. He needs some time to cool off.” She hooks her toes beneath the coffee table, dragging it closer, and snatches another cookie off the plate. “Happens about once a week.” She looks down the hall. “You only have fifteen minutes to freak out, Carter! You need to be showered, dressed, and ready to go in a half hour!”
“I’m not freaking out!” Carter screeches back. “You’re freaking out!”
She twists her cookie apart. “Six foot four, well over two hundred pounds, crushes people into the boards for a living, and the idea of a seven-pound baby girl terrifies the living hell out of him.”
“I so hope it’s a girl.”
“You and me both, Jennie. You and me both.”
“Carter, if you do the Darth Vader voice one more time, I’m leaving.”
Olivia says it, but I’m 100 percent on board with her decision. The three of us are out for dinner before we meet everyone else at the club, and Carter’s garnered so much attention talking to Olivia’s bump.
“Fine, but when that baby is outta there, I won’t be stopped.” He sips his beer, eyes flitting to the three men at the table next to us as they holler at the TV, empty beer pitchers and glasses strewn across the table. He looks back to us. “Anyway, it was fun today, with all the kids. They were so psyched we were there. Adam’s talking about hosting a couple extra fundraisers this year so they can upgrade the facilities, see if we can get these kids meeting some families, that kinda stuff. Cara’s going to help plan them.”
“That man is the sweetest human being on this planet,” Olivia says. “I hope he finds the special person he’s looking for.” She grins mischievously at me. “Hey, Jennie, maybe—”
“No.” Carter pats her head. “No, pumpkin.”
I snort a laugh as my phone vibrates. If the idea of me dating Adam Lockwood, golden boy, is any indication, telling him about Garrett and I is going to be a dumpster fire.
Bear: U gonna have an attitude later tonight?
Me: Already got one, big guy.
Bear: Perfect. Feel like pulling ur hair and fucking ur throat.
The spot between my legs tingles with anticipation at the promise, and I shift in my seat.
“Garrett’s friend was there too,” Carter says. “Emma? Your neighbor.”
“Emily,” I correct.
“Apparently she does pro bono work there every now and then, works with the kids. Some of them really struggle.” He snickers. “Garrett thought she was a cheerleader.”
Bear: PS. Did u know Emily is a child psychologist??? She was at the home today.
A vague memory runs through my mind of her telling me her job was boring and unimportant, waving me off when I asked the question a half hour after she punched Kevin in the face.
I pull up her contact and type out a message.
Me: Boring and unimportant job, huh?
Emily: Shut up.
Me: My little softie.
Emily: Don’t ruin my bad bitch image, J.
“I’m pretty sure her and Garrett are still fucking. ’Cause he says he’s not dating that photographer girl, but he had scratches all down his back in the change room last week, and him and Emily were talking in the corner today.”
Bear: She pulled me aside and asked if I thought Jaxon and Adam were up for a threesome.
Emily: Can you talk your boyfriend into hooking me up with his sexy friends? He didn’t think I was serious, but if I were to get pegged by two guys at a time, I’d at least want to be absolutely wrecked, you know? They looked capable.
Me: I don’t think Adam’s a threesome kinda guy, Em. Sorry.
Emily: *sigh* Yeah, I got that vibe as well. I’d probably ruin him. Hey, wanna have a girls’ night next weekend?
Me: A girls’ night?
Emily: Yeah, you know, takeout, movies, nonalcoholic wine…
Something blooms in my chest as Carter prattles on about having enough kids to build their own hockey team, and even though Olivia’s sitting right in front of me, she texts in our group chat with Cara asking if we want to have a sleepover when the boys go away next. Emily starts listing off other things we can do if I don’t want to stay in, like going for dinner or out dancing. Garrett sends me a picture of the small charm on the keychain I got him for Valentine’s Day, the bear and the sunshine looking up at me from his palm, with a message telling me he loves me and he’s already worked out a plan with Adam and Jaxon to get us sitting together at the club, and I feel so full it’s nearly painful.
Where did all this love come from? This incredible family, the friendships I’ve been blessed with? Have they always been here and I’ve just been too hard on myself to believe they were really here for me?
As Carter pays the bill, the men next to us request another round.
“I’m sorry,” the waitress says. “I can’t serve you anymore.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” one of them asks, climbing unsteadily to his feet. “We’re watchin’ the game, and we want another.”
She shakes her head. “You boys have had enough. I can call you a cab once you’ve paid your bill.”
“We don’t need a fuckin’ cab,” he spits, tearing the bill from her hand.
A ball of unease settles low in my stomach, and Carter takes Olivia’s hand in his, placing his other on my back as he guides us toward the door. I glance over my shoulder, watching as the men snatch their coats up, tossing bills down on the table. For some reason, my heart pounds a little harder, and my chest begins to tighten.
When we step into the cool night, I take a deep breath, exhaling slowly. The knot in my stomach slowly unfurls and I relax as we head for the car.
The restaurant door slams open, and the three men pour out.
“Fuckin’ bitch,” one says.
“Where we gonna go now?” the other slurs.
The third fishes a set of car keys from his pocket. “I know a place.”
No. No. I grip my brother’s arm.
“You better put those the fuck away,” Carter growls, pointing at the keys. “You even so much as step toward a car in your state, I’ll put you through the ground.”
The man holding the keys sways, eyes glassy as he watches Carter. Then he laughs and takes a step forward. “Get outta my way, superstar.”
Carter puts his hand on his chest, looming over him. “One more step. I’ll fucking end you.”
“In front of your pregnant wife? Nah, I don’t think so. There are three of us and one of you. Who do you think will wind up hurt?”
“Carter,” Olivia pleads quietly, reaching for him. “I’m scared.”
“Hear that? Your wife is scared. Get in your car and take her home.”
Carter squeezes her hand and guides her to me. “Jennie, get in the car and call the cops.”
My chest rises sharply, eyes darting around the men as they close in around Carter. Olivia clutches my arm, one hand on her stomach.
“Jennie,” she whimpers. “I don’t feel good.”
“Get in the car,” Carter repeats. “Now.”
I’m trying, but my feet aren’t moving. Why aren’t my feet moving? Why are those men walking toward him like that? Why isn’t he coming with us? I try to call for him, but something inside me is frozen in fear. When I close my eyes, all I see is my dad’s unrecognizable car. All I smell is stale beer. All I feel is…terror.
One of the men looks at Olivia, then me, and grins. “This isn’t gonna be fun for you two to watch.”
Olivia’s breath hitches as her eyes widen with panic, and I yank my phone out, dialing those three numbers.
“Nine-one-one, do you need fire, ambulance, or police?”
My response gets lost in my throat as all three men descend on Carter at once, a tangled mass of bodies rocking into a nearby car before falling to the ground.
Olivia’s bloodcurdling scream drowns everything else out except my own voice when I choke out, “I think I’m having a panic attack.”