Pedigree

There is something about feeling an intense type of pain for a long time that suddenly it stops hurting, you become numb and as pieces come together and your life starts falling apart there is nothing else left for you to feel any more.

I look at dad whose face is void of any emotions, he is looking at me intensely and not once have I removed my eyes from him.

‘The greatest crime that your mother committed was not hiding the fact that she had lost the baby or even asked Isaac to help her getting pregnant. The biggest mistake was her leading me on to the alter when she knew her heart was not with me and it could never be with me.’

He pauses

‘Cathy didn’t love me, Cathy felt I was a better and safer choice for her. I was never going to be the man that she wanted me to be come what may.’

‘And you think she was the only one to blame? Why didn’t you let her go immediately? Why did you have to play along when you could have saved yourself some heartache?’

‘Has anyone ever told you about revenge being saved best cold? You honestly think everything that had been done to me I was going to let it pass just like that?’

‘Wow.’

‘I raised you like my own Kasweka, I have loved you. I would have taken the bullet for you, I was going to do anything and everything just to give you a good life and you will not question my parenting or reasons why I did everything I did.’

I shake my head

‘I would never question your parenting because you have been good to me, you have raised me better than most parents would and you did it all alone. About you taking the bullet for me, of course you did it but then you are here trying to offer me to the wolves. What makes you so different from the man who raised you?’

He eyes me, anger appearing and disappearing quickly.

‘It’s nothing personal and I don’t want you to take it as such, but you have been a great part of this plan and now that it’s almost come to fruition I can’t let you mess it up.’

I chuckle emotionally.

‘So you raised me like your own just so you could take revenge on my biological father yes? You raised me like your own just so you could destroy me? Is that all you learnt after the wrong was done to you?’

‘Stop it!’ he yells

‘Just stop it because you have no idea everything I had to go through!’

‘You didn’t have to go through it! You didn’t have to sit around doing nothing until the worst got to the worst! You could have fault when Ivy accused you of rape, you could have cut off ties with Mphatso after he asked for forgiveness, you couldn’t have gone ahead and married Cathy when you knew she didn’t love you.’

Hot tears start spilling from my eyes

‘You never forgave Ivy, you never forgave your brother or Isaac. You held on to all this pain all these years and it has been eating you up and you know what?’

I pause

‘You need help dad.’

‘You need help.’ I repeat

‘How dare you look me in the eye and say that I need help? I could have denied you and you were going to have a life different from the one you have now, I put clothes on your body and a roof on your head, food in your belly and an education. How many parents out there that know you aren’t their children would do that for you?’

His eyes are glistering with tears

‘Is that what you have been telling yourself to make yourself feel better? What you did all these things just so you could be feel better than the man who raised you yet they were no good intentions there?’

‘You ungrateful bastard!’ he yells

I chuckle, seeing him for who he is.

‘You and your mother could have died from poverty.’

I shake my head

‘You could have been poor right now and living with a man who wasn’t good enough to be your father, things could have turned out differently for you!’

‘So why didn’t you? Why didn’t you let me have a normal childhood? Why did I have to be used as collateral damage when we both know you are the one who needs a lot of help.’

‘I had hoped you would plead your case and allow me to let you live, but I see there is nothing good that has come from all this. You are an ungrateful bastard who is no different from your mother and father! All of you deserve each other and nothing else.’ He says, Nelson walking into the room.

‘What are you doing here?’ I ask

‘Hello son.’

‘Hello dad.’ He says handing him a gun

‘What’s going on here?’ I ask in shock

‘And when everyone left me to die he never left, I still held on to his name and he adopted me and put me in a different home. He has always been my father, my true father.’

‘Wait wait.’ I say wiping the tears

‘You dated me.’

‘All planed by him.’

‘Nelson you met my late mother and promised to take care of me.’

‘It was all a plan.’

‘Aren’t you supposed to be working with Mphatso?’

‘Keep your enemies close.’

‘Now stop talking and move.’ Dad commands leading me to his office

‘Dad please.’ I beg

‘Shut up!’ he says with command

..

Your Friend and Author

Winnie

🌺