Mortal Magic: Broken

As I was sleeping I heard that same melody. Coming from Maia the humming tune I had come to adore was there to reassure me that I wasn’t alone. I seemed to be partly awake as I was conscious of the pressure on my chest and the humming was originating from there, but I was too lost to wake up completely. And it didn’t take me long before I was lost all the way. I think I knew that she was leaning on me while I was sleeping, and that was relaxing and felt very good.

When I woke up again the humming had stopped but the pressure on my chest remained. This time I felt the tingle of hair pressed on my skin along with her head, and the scent of roses filled my nose. I opened my eyes slowly and I felt like I was asleep for days, tired and sore from staying still all this time. But that didn’t stop me from looking down on my body to see Maia facing at me while she was soundlessly sleeping with her head resting on my chest. A smile immediately crept on my lips as I watched her, so innocent and calm that she seemed angelic to my eyes. She felt me when I raised my head to look at her and she turned in her sleep but her head remained at its place on me.

I rested my head back down as I lost what little strength I seemed to have right now and then I realized that I was lying on something soft. I looked around me and saw that I was laying on a big bed twice the size of the beds I saw at the inn, covered by a white sheet from the middle and down. I looked around at the room and saw it was made out of stone and there were furniture made out of dark wood everywhere. The sun was shining and providing light to the room from the two big windows on the walls on the right side of the bed. A mirror was placed at the left corner in the opposite side of the room and a big round table near the middle of the big room.

Where was I and how did I get here? I was surely safe here since Maia was here with me I was sure about that. The rest though was a big mystery to me. Whose home was this and what was I doing here? How long have I been here? Had the blood eclipse passed while I was asleep? So many questions and no answers, my mind was thinking so many questions that my head was about to blow. When the pain was coming close to unbearable I grunted lowly and grabbed my temples to ease the pain. The movement alerted Maia to my waking though and she opened her eyes worried for a second and then relief and happiness flooded her next.

She got up and leaned closer to hug me, burying her face in the nook of my shoulder with tears escaping her eyes. Then she realized that I was holding my head and she got up to see what was wrong, and she realized I was in pain. Without wasting any more time she took my hands away from my head and placed hers where mine were a moment ago before light and warmth started flowing from her palms. The pain started to dim and fade then and I relaxed and waited in her hands, closing my eyes until she gently moved her hands on my face before she let it go. The mere touch sent shivers down my body and I opened my eyes to see her smiling at me, bringing a smile on my lips too.

“You did it, you came back”. A lone tear was formed and then fell from her left eye down her cheek and I raised my head to wipe it away. I didn’t like seeing her crying, smiling suited her so much more. She blushed as I kept my hand on her cheek, rubbing it longer than necessary without breaking eye contact with her. “I’ll always make it, I promise you that. How long have I been asleep? Has the blood eclipse passed”? It surprised me how calm I asked her about the eclipse. I was sure that I would now be fuming with rage and worry until someone told me that it hadn’t come to pass yet and then I would hurry to the eastern continent. But asking her proved to be keeping me calm. She would tell me either way how long I was gone but I wanted to hear her voice once more, the sooner the better.

She shook her head and I knew that I still had time left; time to recover before I left. “You have been asleep for two days. The eclipse will be upon us in almost two weeks’ time. How are you feeling”? I felt fine now. What happened to me at the arena seemed to have worn off, I knew that something was wrong with me, wrong with my powers. I felt for the mana inside me and found out that I had created quite a bit while asleep but it wasn’t unpleasant like when I had so much that I felt sick. And with almost two weeks until the eclipse I could worry less for now. I just hoped I could do this finally. “I feel fine, thanks to you”.

She blushed again and lowered her head a bit but her eyes never left mine. Those gems were as beautiful as the first time I saw them in her house when she was treating me for mana sickness.

That was when I heard voices outside the door and I listened in. “You don’t understand Yuto. He needs my help even if he doesn’t want it. There is a war going on inside him; the true nature of his powers fights within him. If he doesn’t learn he is going to die soon”. The voice was unmistakably his. My expression changed from peaceful to angry at that moment and I waited as he was talking to Yuto. “We will continue this later. We don’t need to worry Maia with this too yet”. Then the door opened and in came Atreus with Yuto who was mumbling under his breath and cursing. When they saw us Atreus stopped dead on his tracks and Yuto barely registered that until he raised his head and stopped cursing.

I wanted to act based on my anger so much but I could not do that now. Not while she was so close and watching. I showed her too much of that part of myself already, and she will see even more when it is time to kill Lars if she comes too. “Don’t stop on our account, please keep going. You were saying something about me dying”. They both looked at each other and then looked at Maia who was confused more than she was worried right now. I wasn’t going to take excuses though. One way or the other I would get them to talk whether they liked it or not.

Sighting Atreus lowered his head and looked at me personally before he said what was weighing his mind so much. “Do you remember what you did in the arena two days ago”? I wasn’t expecting a question when he started talking but for his sake this better be relevant. To tell the truth I only remembered that I killed the beast and then collapsed. “I remember killing that lion before I collapsed”. From his expression I gathered he was expecting this answer and this was confusing me. Did he expect me to remember more? Nothing more happened for me to remember.

“That is not the only thing you did, Erza”. That name. I hate that name. I hate everything there is to do with him on me. Without realizing it I snapped at him. “Don’t say that name. No one calls me that any more”. Maia flinched at the volume of my voice and I instantly regretted snapping like that. But the fact remained; I don’t want to hear the name Archer Erza Bane anymore. There was no such person here. “You remember your full name then”.

“I remember and I don’t want it. Archer is fine. Now tell me what else you think I did”. Shaking his head he dropped the subject and continued with the story. “Like I said you did not only kill the lion. You almost awakened your true magic. You almost used a master arte and you did it unintentionally, which means you didn’t use it all the way. If a master arte is used halfway and then interrupted its effects will still wear the magus until the arte is finished; invoked or not”. Again with this master arte crap. I do not know how to use such high tier magic and I don’t even have the time to learn. It is impossible that what he says is true.

“You don’t believe me. Fine, I’ll tell you what you did then. When the lion threw you to the edge of the arena you heard Maia calling you and then you started creating immense amounts of mana that you released all around you in waves. Each wave was changing the very structure of the world for most likely in a size as big as the whole city, and more. The world grew darker and darker and then it was slowly being painted red when you reached the lion. Your voice changed when you spoke to the lion and then after you killed it you started screaming and you collapsed holding your head. You collapsed because your body was too exhausted to complete the spell and now it will try to do so but you don’t know how. If you don’t complete the spell you will create so much mana that it will overwhelm your core and kill you”.

I couldn’t believe what he was saying but I knew deep down that it held some truth. I felt my body creating mana faster than before and the rate at which it did was accelerating slowly but surely. “If you don’t believe me even now then take a look at yourself in the mirror. You will understand then”. I looked at him suspiciously and then I decided I wanted to find out what he was saying. I got up from the bed slowly as my body was still adjusting and I got to the mirror in the corner of the room. At first I looked at my body and I couldn’t find anything wrong with it. But then my eyes were drawn to my hair that was mostly silver now. Only a big part on the front left side of my head was still black and it scared me. Why was this happening in the first place, and what did it mean?

“You see the toll your powers have on you? You are creating so much that you have to expel it and yet you still produce and that is wearing down your body. All this turned white a few hours ago and I knew that it was because of what you did. After that your body will be affected if you don’t learn how to control your master arte. It is forcing you to create mana to complete it and use it”. Was all of this true? Did I actually do all that and it was affecting me in this way? But my hair started turning silver before all this. No, it started with the boar when I realized I was making too much mana and it was making me sick. I was dying all this time and I didn’t even see it coming. My magic is killing me because it was preparing me all this time. If I hadn’t collapsed maybe I would have used the arte and this would all be over but I was too hurt to do so. I only used it like that because of my anger, and that gave me power to rise until it was over.

“You don’t have a say in the matter son. I don’t care if you hate me but I don’t wish to see you killed because I wasn’t there to teach you our ways. We are the only line of magi that inherits the same magic in every generation, and every generation is stronger than the previous one. We do different things but it is always projections and creating mana instead of absorbing it. It has always been like this for us, it is our purpose, and also our curse. We have power at the cost of our lives that are shortened as we use magic. I’m the only one so far to reach fifty five years of age and that is only because I stopped using magic unless it was necessary when I met your mother and had a family of my own”.

He came closer to me and I saw him through the mirror first before I felt his big callous hand on my bare shoulder. His face was sad and mournful as he looked at me from the mirror and squeezed my shoulder lightly. He must feel that this was not how I should have learned. He felt that it was his responsibility to teach me all this and help me early on, before I burned my body that much. And also he felt responsible for what I have been through, my suffering and my sister’s when he should have made sure that we were together and happy and in completely different situations now. “I don’t have years to learn how to use a master arte to save myself you know. I have barely more than two weeks to be in the center of the eastern continent to save Ashe before she is sacrificed”.

“You don’t need years anymore son. Your life in Redgard was more than enough to prepare you and you already know the limits of your power. You only need to let it guide you in battle and it will show you the way. I can teach you all you need in a week and help you recover, and you will have plenty of time after that. The journey to the eastern continent is four days by ship and then to its center from the port three more. And I will come with you to aid you. I cannot sit by and do nothing as that scum murders my daughter for whatever reason”. Was he sure about that? Were any of them sure they wanted to help me at this point when I wasn’t completely honest with them? I never told them the reason he wants to sacrifice Ashe and that was the most important thing.

“You should. All of you should let me go alone and even try to stop me. You would if you knew the reason he wants her. His plan isn’t to gain more power or anything like that. He aims to save the world”. All three of them looked at me confused and taken aback. But it was the truth. What he was doing was right in the eyes of the world. He was sacrificing one life to save millions and I was trying to stop him. “He wants to use her because she can absorb mana indefinitely without harm. He wants to transfer this ability to Ea and allow it to absorb mana and produce more. This way he can ensure that there is always mana in the world and humanity will live. And this can only be done under the light of the blood eclipse only. If he doesn’t succeed the next one will be decades after he dies and Ashe will not be alive then either. If I save her, humanity will be lost and we will all die when Ea stops providing mana. In the eyes of the world, I’m the villain that will doom the world, and he is the saint that will save us all”.

None of them spoke after that. Atreus took his hand from my shoulder and looked away and I saw the others do the same too. I knew it would turn out this way. In reality no one wished to side with the one who wants to doom the world for his own selfish reason. Yes I was selfish; I wanted to kill everyone just so that I can save one life. But I deserved to be selfish like this. Everyone else was so why can’t I be too? I accepted my role as the bad guy long ago and I would see this through the end, even if it was my end.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I never saw Maia coming closer and grabbing my right hand and squeezing it a bit to get my attention. It worked and I turned my head to her direction as best as I could as she was directly behind me. She laid her head on the nook of my shoulder and leaned it closer to mine. “I don’t care even if he is god himself. He has done horrible things and forced you to do the same. It is only natural to want back the person he has taken from you even at the cost of the lives of everyone else”. And then I felt her warm breath on my skin as she exhaled and stayed there like it was nothing. “I know I would”.

“Everyone would have done the same for those he loved you know. If someone had taken my daughter I would turn every rock until I found her and then I would kill him without a second thought. This changes nothing for us”. Yuto was now leaning on the wall with his hands crossed on his chest and this was the first time I paid attention to his clothing. He was wearing clothes from here I was sure; they looked a lot like the ones worn by Atreus, just in tones of red and black.

They were willing to follow me even now that they learned the whole truth. What did I do to deserve devotion like this? I lead them to their deaths most likely and they know it. They are both such big fools, but maybe they follow me because I am a fool too. I’m too big a fool to back down when I make up my mind about things. “I would have helped you either way. This just makes things a bit more complicated for after we are done”. I looked at Atreus again through the mirror with eyes that barely showed emotion at the moment and I saw he was smiling. Why was he smiling? If he came with me he would ruin his life. I was nothing to the world, but he was the king of the central continent. He was important and for him to do something so malevolent would mean his abdication.

“Don’t even think about talking us out of it. This is more important to us than you think. Each one of us has a reason to do this, and they are all selfish”. I expected these words from the two men but they actually came from Maia. She had a reason to come with me. A selfish reason at that. It made me wonder what it was that she wanted and found selfish in this. For a brief moment I squeezed her hand lightly and then she raised her head surprised but she smiled brightly at my gesture. She was happy in this moment and that was something I valued more than anything now.

“We will let you rest for as long as you need. I will send food later but you should only do minor movements to allow your muscles to recover from the shock. Tomorrow we will begin your training and before the end of the week I will make sure that your body doesn’t fail you due to the spell”. He grabbed Yuto by his forearm and literally dragged him out of the room and closed the door leaving us alone. They were acting odd for sure. Which was normal for Yuto but Atreus was acting odd too. Did they know something I did not? I let it slide though and reveled in the moment as Maia had her head on my shoulder and she seemed to have closed her eyes.

We stayed there until she opened them and got ready to take her leave. “I should go too. You need to rest”. I didn’t want her to go however; I wanted her to stay here, with me. I needed her to stay here. She reminded me how it felt to care for someone, and I needed that right now. I needed something to remind me who I am, to tell me that I was not an emotionless murderer. As she let go of my hand and turned to leave I grabbed at her hand myself and pulled gently while looking at the floor. She stopped in her tracks and I felt her look at me even though I could not see her eyes glued to me. For some reason now that I was about to ask her to stay I felt guilty of something, shamed and shy at the same time. Was it so hard to say just three words? I gathered all my remaining courage and looked at her but I was sure that I was redder than I have ever been in my life. “Can you stay”?

The way she was looking at me I knew what I had asked of her made her uncomfortable. Her face grew slightly red but she smiled a bit. She didn’t say anything but she moved again, this time not for the door. She made for the bed and I followed willingly as she led me there. I lay down and she sat there beside me smiling and I was still caught in her eyes. I already felt more relaxed with her and I liked it, but I wanted something else too. “Can you sing for a bit? I’ve gotten used to listening to you while I sleep”. That request took her by surprise but her smile never wavered. Soon after I asked her she started singing her humming song that I was so fond of lately and we both closed our eyes in that moment that nothing else existed for me. At that moment I felt complete and happy like old times.

“You know I meant it when I said that you have a beautiful voice. Even though I was half asleep I really meant it”. Again she faltered at my words and I heard her as she gasped so I caressed her hand with mine and kept my smile as flat as I could. Then she continued with her melody and it relaxed me so much that sleep was not far behind this time too.