In My Desperate Time

I run to the bathroom and lock the door.
I lean against the door, and my heart feels like being pressed by a heavy stone, which makes me breathless.
I see things simply. I didn’t expect that things have just started and I have begun to think that it is not easy to stay at Frances
Louis’s side.
I have prepared to throw my dignity away, but in the end, he tramples me to pieces.
Below me, there is a muddy liquid flowing out, with a silk of red.
Of course, I know. It's not my period. It's my transformation from girl to woman.
How ironic!
What's the point of this blood coming out now?
Can I bring Frances Louis in and show him?
“Jane Noyes, maybe your life is just a joke.”
I walk to the shower with a wry smile, open the shower head, carefully wash my soring body, and wash off the blood on the floor.
Let all these unimportant things go with the water. I just want to solve my brother problem through Frances Louis, and I don't
want to think about anything else.
I don't know how long I've been in there. The foggy water fills in the bathroom, and I feel a little dizzy.
But I don't want to go out, I don't want to face Frances Louis' scrutiny.
At least, not tonight.
There is a rhythmic knock on the door, followed by the voice of Frances Louis.
“How long will you be in there? You wash yourself so long, Are you not clean, or I am not clean?”
I am shocked and don’t know what to do.
I am glad I have closed the door, or Frances Louis might have come in.

“Right...right away.”
I reply quietly, ready to get a towel to wipe the body, but suddenly I slip down, and fall to the ground.
The back of my head hits the floor so hard that I black out.
“Jane Noyes, Jane Noyes, what are you doing? Get out?!” The unhappy voice of Frances Louis comes from outside.
I want him to come in and save me, but I don’t want him to see me naked. Although, he has seen everything.
Actually, I am conscious. I can hear everything around me. But my tongue is like knotted, I can say nothing and my body is limp,
I have no strength.
God, no! Can anything worse happen to me?
Frances Louis calls me again outside door and knocks fiercely.
Then, the world becomes quiet.
I think he has gone, but the door is kicked open.
Then, Frances Louis rushes in.
I could feel his burning eyes on me, and my skin is boiling hot. But I couldn't open my eyes. I have no idea what expression of
Frances Louis is.
Never mind. It is better not to see him, so as not to die of embarrassment under his eyes.
Frances Louis holds me up. I feel soft under him. He probably put me to bed.
It takes me a while to feel less dizzy and regain some strength.
Most importantly, I was conscious the whole time!
The room is terribly quiet. I don’t know whether Frances Louis is in the room or asleep.
I open my eyes a little, and meet Frances Louis's eyes.
He looks at me with no expression on his face, but it is enough to embarrass me to death.

I am still naked. The air conditioning opens, he could at least give me cover.
Is that how Frances Louis has been looking at me?
At the thought of this, my face suddenly blushes. I pull over the quilt and cover my body.
“Why are you still up?” I turn my head away to skip the awkward subject.
“Don't wash so long next time, you lock the doors and windows. If I had come in later, you would have been in heaven.”
Frances Louis glances at me and says lightly.
Hearing what he said, I guess I was poisoned by carbon dioxide.
Damn it. I have not solved the problem, I can’t die!
Frances Louis's cell phone rings, and he picks it up gently.
“Well, I know. Wait. I'll be right there.”
I think it is a woman on the other end of the line. He would be so gentle to a woman.
Who is she? Is that woman I saw in the hospital?
My heat ripples lightly. But I know it isn’t my business. Frances Louis and I just take what we need, and neither of us has any say
in the other’s private life.\
I come to him for Frank Noyes.
I am about to talk to Frances Louis about my brother, but he gets up and says, “you sleep first. I have to go out for a while.”
“I have something to talk to you.” I say quickly.
“After I come back.”
Then, he leaves, blocking my words back.
All right, I can sleep first. He can run over. I will talk with him after he comes back.

My phone rings as I want to sleep.
It’s my mother.
“Jane, is everything all right?”
My mother’s voice is full of strength. She must have recovered from the fever.
“I have come to see Frances Louis, don’t worry.” I say coldly.
I can't tell you how it feels. Just suddenly, I feel lonely.
My family never cared about my life, but put their interests first.
My mother is relieved and enjoins me to get things done before she hangs up.
From beginning to end, not a word to care about me.
Although I have expected this to happen, when it happens, I still feel so sad.
I close my eyes, trying not to think about it, and it takes me a while to fall asleep.
Frances Louis doesn’t return until the next morning, looking tired.
I haven’t gotten up, he lies on bed and holds me in his arms, closing his eyes wearily.
I've never been carried to sleep like this. My heart beats like a drum.
“It’s okay. It’s okay. Just get sed to it.”
I tell myself several times before I finally calm down a little.
Maybe it’s time to talk to him about Frank Noyes.
“Well, my brother, can you stop suing him?” I ask shily.
He opens his eyes and looks at me steadily. After a while, he sneers and says, “Jane Noyes, who do you think you are? When
did I say I wanted to help you?”