Hunter's Secret

Hunter’s POV

Even though I literally just woke up a few hours ago, I am feeling tired again. Plus, the feeling of Raine sleeping on my chest is just so comforting. After she fell asleep, River gave me back control. While I am a little annoyed that he took control like he did, I am mostly just happy that he is back. As annoying as he is, I missed him.

I hear him huff in my head and I roll my eyes at him. But it’s true, I did miss him. He has been my constant companion for my entire life, and I felt anxious and lonely when he shut himself off from me. I can’t imagine how Titus managed to cope with the loss of his wolf too. The more I learn about him, the more I am impressed with him. I hope he recovers soon.

Raine whimpers slightly in her sleep, and I pull her body on top of mine, wrapping my arms around her. She snuggles her face into my neck and sighs in contentment. I didn’t know how much I was missing without a mate. She completes me. She is the perfect match for me. I don’t know what I would do if I ever really lost her. I don’t know if I could keep living. That thought makes me immediately think of Emma, so I decide to check in on her.

‘Hey, Emma. Just thinking about you. How are you doing today?’

She doesn’t respond right away but when she does, I can tell she has been crying.

‘Hi, Hunter,’ she softly greets me.

‘What’s going on?’

‘Nothing. I am just missing him today.’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ I gently ask.

‘Not right now. But maybe you and Raine could come for dinner tonight?’

‘Sure. But she is sleeping right now, and she hasn’t been sleeping well lately so I don’t want to wake her up for a while.’

‘Yeah, I understand that feeling.’

‘I know you do. I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you, and I will let you know when we are headed over for dinner.’

‘Thanks, Hunter. I appreciate it.’

‘Anytime. I am here for you. And for the twins. All you have to do is call me and I will be there.’

She doesn’t reply but I know she heard me. And I mean it. I promised him that I would take care of his family. I won’t break that promise. I sigh and kiss the top of Raine’s head, feeling slightly guilty that I get to lay in bed with my mate while Emma is desperately missing hers.

Raine stirs and whimpers again in her sleep, her arms wrapping around and under my neck. She snuggles in closer, and I rub her back, trying to comfort her. She deeply inhales against my neck, and I have to take a deep breath to calm my heart which has started racing from her contact. She moves her legs, brushing against me and I have to take another breath.

“Hunter…” she whispers, her breath fanning over my mark and I try to connect to her emotions, but she is somehow blocking me out.

“Shhh, I am here. Rest lovey. You are safe,” I murmur, and she whimpers again.

“No….” she whines, and I start getting concerned. I know you aren’t supposed to wake someone up when they are having a bad dream because you can startle them, so I just held her, rubbing her back.

“Raine, you are safe. I am holding you. You are okay,” I tell her, and she quiets.

“Daddy!” she cries out, clutching on to me as she starts shaking. Okay, screw not waking her up.

“Raine, you need wake up now, lovey,” I gently say, slightly shaking her shoulders. She moves her arms out from under my neck and moves them to my shoulders, gripping my shirt in her hands. I push myself into a sitting position, making sure to keep her head from falling backwards so I can wake her up easier. She is fully crying now, and she is still not waking up.

“Raine!”

Her eyes finally open and she looks dazed and confused before she realizes it is just me and she flings her arms around me, holding on like I am her lifeline. She cries into my shoulder, and I wrap my arms back around her, rubbing her back again.

“Shhhh, you are okay, lovey. You are safe. It was just a dream,” I mutter into her hair, and she sighs. We sit that way for a minute before she raises her head off my shoulder and smashes her lips against mine, her hands snaking into my hair, pulling me closer. She catches me off guard by taking complete control of the kiss. I slightly part my lips and she quickly deepens the kiss, moving her fingers through my hair and I stifle a groan. She breaks the kiss just as quickly as she started it and looks at me with such longing and desire that I am slightly intimidated. She leans in for another kiss, but I pull away.

“Raine…we need to talk…first,” I pant, my voice coming out raspy.

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” she says, blushing.

“You don’t have to…apologize. You just….surprised me. Are you okay?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know!” she half-yells, her eyes looking glassy.

“Okay, slow down. Let’s talk. But maybe you should get off my lap first,” I state.

She blushes again and scrambles off my lap to sit next to me, keeping the side of her body pressed up against mine.

“Take a deep breath and then start by telling me what your dream was about,” I prompt, and she takes a deep breath and slightly scoots away from me, making me sigh in relief. As much as I love her contact, I am trying to focus on helping her and that is not easy to do when all my thoughts revolve around all the different ways I can claim her as mine.

“It was less of a dream and more of a flashback. Except Liam killed my dad before Ash got there and he hurt you too,” she says quietly, looking down at her hands.

Hearing the pain in her voice and feeling her anxiety through our bond hurts my heart.

“Let’s focus on the facts. What is true?” I prompted, using the technique I learned from one of the therapists when I asked how I can help her because she is having nightmares and flashbacks almost every night.

“Liam is dead.”

“Yes, he is. What else?”

“Dad is in the hospital, and he is recovering.”

“Good. What else?”

“You are here. I am safe.”

“Yes, you are. I am right here. Now, take a deep breath with me.”

She matches her breathing to mine, and I feel her anxiety decrease as we breathe together.

“Good job, lovey. Now, can I ask you another question?”

“Sure,” she replies, still focusing on taking deep breaths.

“Why did you kiss me like that?”

She pauses before responding, “I don’t know. You mess my brain up.”

“Mess your brain up?”

“Yes. It’s like even if I could crawl into your skin, I still wouldn’t be close enough to you.”

“Well…that’s quite a visual that I am not sure I ever wanted to have,” I tease but she doesn’t even slightly smile.

“But it is more than that, Hunter,” she says, looking at me this time, “I don’t just want you. I need you. I crave your touch. Being near you is comforting and torturous all at the same time. I don’t know what is wrong with me.”

I smile and slightly laugh to myself before explaining, “There is nothing wrong with you, Raine. That would be the mark. There is a reason marking and mating are almost always done simultaneously. It is okay that we are doing things differently but that is why you are feeling so frazzled all the time.”

“That’s not fair,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper.

“What’s not fair?” I ask, confused.

“That I am the only one feeling this way,” she whispers.

“Who said you are the only one feeling that way?”

“What?” she asks.

“You heard me, lovey.”

“But how? You are so reserved,” she whispers.

“I am only reserved because I am holding myself back. I need you too. And do you not remember what happened when Ash was here earlier? You didn’t even have to touch me for me to feel that way. All you had to do was talk and your voice was enough. I love your voice.”

She slightly laughs to herself before responding, “Are you serious? I thought I was the only one who was feeling like a teenager in love for the first time.”

“I am quite aware of how you have been feeling,” I wink, pointing to my mark. She blushes and I continue, “Most of the time, I can keep those feelings from you so you can’t feel them. I didn’t want you to feel pressured by my own desires.”

She drops her head into her hands, “Ugh, this is confusing,” she mumbles.

“What is confusing?”

“Cameron died a little over a week ago, his funeral was just yesterday, and all I can think about is jumping into bed with you. That seems wrong.”

I smile, “I have been feeling conflicted too. But I think it is understandable that almost losing each other would make us want to be with each other more.”

“I guess so. But it still feels wrong.”

“I know. We don’t have to do anything that we aren’t in agreement about. But maybe don’t kiss me like that again unless you don’t want to hold back anymore. Deal?”

She looks up at me with a small smile before she sticks her hand out for me to shake, which I do and she responds with, “Deal.”

“Okay now that we got that sorted, and since we are already talking about things, do you want to try talking about Blaine now? River is good now, I promise. He was just a little worked up earlier.”

She bites the inside of her cheek and her eyes glaze over as she starts having another flashback.

“Raine, hey, come back to me,” I say, gently pulling on her arm. She blinks and when she looks at me, her eyes are back to normal.

“Okay but I need you hold me if we are going to talk about it,” she hesitantly says.

“All you have to do is tell me. Come here,” I respond, opening my arms up and scooting back against the headboard.

She climbs into my lap, her legs hanging off the edge of the bed while she lays her head against my chest. I wrap one arm around her waist, keeping her secured against me and grab her hands with my other. She takes a deep breath before she starts the conversation.

“I don’t really know what to talk about, Hunter. Ash told me that I need to talk to you, but I don’t even know what to say. You saw what happened. You were there. You had to…watch,” she whispers, her voice cracking with that last part.

I can feel the emotions flood her body but the main emotion I feel from her is guilt.

“Why are you feeling guilty?” I ask, rubbing my thumb over her knuckles.

“Because you had to watch. I heard the pain in your voice as you begged him to stop…touching me. I saw your tears. He kissed me, Hunter! And you had to watch,” she cries, tears streaming down her face.

I wrap both arms around her and she turns into me. I feel tears slipping down my own face.

“Raine…lovey…that was not your fault. You are right, watching was horrific. But I wasn’t the one who was assaulted. I am just sorry I couldn’t protect you from any of that.”

“It was all just terrible. All of it. It was awful.”

“It was. And I left you to go check on Cameron first. I am sorry for choosing to go care for him first,” I apologize, my own guilt squeezing me this time.

“He needed you more than I did at that moment. I don’t hold that against you. At all. You did exactly what you should have done,” she firmly tells me.

“Okay,” I whisper, tucking my nose into her hair.

“Hunter?”

“Hmm?”

“Why are you so obsessed with smelling me all the time?”

“Because you smell really good. All the time. Even when you are sweaty. Your scent just calms me down,” I mumble into her hair, dramatically inhaling to prove my point.

“That just sounds weird.”

“What does?”

“Saying ‘scent.’ It just seems a little animalistic,” she says matter-of-factly.

“Mmm well River likes your scent too, so I guess it is animalistic.”

She giggles and slightly leans back so I release my hold on her, and she sits up so she can look at me.

“I love you,” she smiles.

I smile back, “I love you more.”

“Probably,” she shrugs her shoulders as she climbs off my lap to sit next to me once again.

“What do you mean by probably?”

“You have two beings in you, so you love me twice as much as I love you.”

I shrug my shoulders this time and smile.

“Hunter?”

“Yes, lovey?”

“I think we should probably get some professional support to work through these things. This has been a lot for both of us and if I am going to be Luna, I need to have a clear mind. And you are Alpha, so you have to be able to take care of everyone and that starts with taking care of yourself.”

“You’re right. I will set up an appointment for tomorrow sometime. I think it would be good for both of us. Do you want to go get ready for dinner with Emma now?”

“Sure. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Being mine,” she sweetly says.

“Well then thank you for being mine. I love you so much, Raine. We will get through this. Together,” I say, grabbing her hand and moving it so I can kiss it. She smiles again before getting up to go get ready. I watched her walk into the closet and with a sigh I lay back on the bed, thanking the Moon Goddess for making her my mate.