Hunter's Secret

Hunter's POV

I slowly make my way back to our room. Raine is sitting at the desk, looking out the window. Rebecca is sitting quietly on the couch, and she quickly leaves as soon as she sees me. I know I should go check on Emma, especially because she is pregnant, but I trust Chris to take care of her. I need to be here for Raine right now. Rebecca thankfully closed the door behind her, and I walked over to Raine. I place a gentle hand on her shoulder, she jumps at the contact, and I jerk my hand back.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you…” my voice trails off as I remember her face while I helplessly watched her be assaulted. She was so scared, and I couldn’t do anything. The sound of the sobs that left her body while he kissed her will never leave my memory. I failed her too. I didn’t protect her from him.

“Hunter. Stop,” she says, pulling at my fists. I look down and see fresh blood covering my hands. I didn’t even realize I was making myself bleed again.

“And stop blaming yourself.”

“I can’t,” I admit, tears stinging my eyes again. How am I not dehydrated yet?

“I didn’t stop him, Raine. I didn’t stop anything,” I suck in my breath and look away from her.

“Hunter. If you are going to blame anyone, blame me. I was the one who led the witch to you.”

“You didn’t have a choice. You were scared.”

“You didn’t have a choice either, Hunter. It’s not your fault,” she softly says, grabbing my hands again, “You should go take a shower. It will help you feel better. And then you can put on clean pants and maybe you could put a shirt on too.”

Right, I took mine off to help Cameron. Not that it did anything because he still died. That thought causes my heart to twist in my chest.

“Hunter?” Raine softly calls my name, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Will you be okay if I go shower?” I question.

She smiles and nods her head. I grab a pair of clothes and head to the bathroom. When I see my reflection in the mirror, I am taken aback. My hair is matted and darkened with blood. It looks like I have cried blood from where my tears have run down my face, mixing with the blood. There is a faint bruise on my jaw where Aiden grabbed me. His blood is splattered across my face, neck and arms. Cameron’s blood mixed with mine coats my hands and fingers.

I slightly turn and Cameron’s blood also covers my back from where I carried him. Everything on my lower body is soaked with his blood too because I kneeled in it when I was giving him CPR and from when I pulled him onto my lap. I look terrifying. But the worst part of my whole body are my eyes. They are blankly staring back at me. Empty and so, so deeply sad. I can’t do this. How am I supposed to go on living when he doesn’t get to?

I sit on the floor, absorbed in my thoughts. I hear a knock at the door and then I hear Raine call for me but I don’t answer and just hope that she goes away. She doesn’t. She opens the door and hobbles in on her crutches. She pokes me with one of her crutches and I glance up at her but the concern in her eyes is too much and I turn away from her, tears falling down my face again.

She ignores my tears and moves over to me, setting her crutches on the ground and slides down the wall, careful to keep weight off her one foot. She reaches for my hand, and I let her take it. She pulls it into her lap and rubs her other hand over my knuckles.

“Hunter? Why haven’t you gotten into the shower yet?” she softly asks.

“I can’t,” I whisper.

“Do you need help? I can call Chris or Keegan.”

I shake my head and take my hand out from hers, holding both of my hands in front of me.

“This is all I have left of him, Raine. I can’t just wash it off,” I cry, my shoulders shaking with my sobs.

“Hunter….”

I turn away from her and she rubs her hand up and down my shoulder, trying to comfort me. I can’t look at her. I didn’t want her to see me this…broken. She tries to stifle a sob too, but I notice and look back at her with concern. My eyes search her face for an answer, and she asks me a question.

“Have you heard anything from Ash?”

“Ash is fine. Your dad is in surgery, and I haven’t heard anything else,” I say, my voice distant as I look back away from her. She sighs and leans her head against my shoulder. I won’t lie, the sparks feel good, but they don’t do very much to make me feel better. We sit that way for a while, both of us wrapped up in our worries, until she breaks the silence.

“Okay. Can you help me up? I sat on the floor, but my foot is going numb, and I can’t get up,” she asks, and I sigh but push myself off the floor and then help her stand up, handing her the crutches.

“Hunter? Will you let me help you now?”

I look at her with confusion and she smiles, reaching for my hands. She knows that she can’t physically force me to stand up, but she also knows I will do anything for her, so she used that against me a little. I don’t really mind though; I know she is just trying to help me.

She leads me over to the sink and turns the water on, checking the temperature. I let her take my hands and put them under the water, watching everything turn red as his blood flows down the drain. I give up and let the tears fall, leaning my hips against the cabinet for support. Raine puts some soap on my hands, and rubs them with hers, working the soap into my skin.

She moves my hands back under the water, diligently but gently making sure all the blood gets washed off. Watching the blood leave my skin, feels like saying goodbye all over again. I don’t want to say goodbye. I bend over, resting my head on my arms as she continues washing my hands. I am bawling my eyes out and she just continues, even partially washing my arms.

I don’t deserve her.

She turns the water off and dries her hands on the towel before drying mine.

“Okay, I started the process, but you need to shower now. I know you don’t want to, but you can’t keep this much blood on your skin. Do you want help?”

I don’t know what I want. She senses my confliction and gently taps her crutches against the back of my leg. I lift my head up and look at my hands, feeling my heart tense in my chest. She taps me again and I move in the direction of the shower.

“Do you want help?” she asks again, gently placing her hand on the waistband of my pants. I move my hand on top of hers and shake my head, no.

She smiles and moves to the other side of the shower and turns on the water. She comes back over to me and grabs my hand, bringing it to her lips for a kiss. She drops my hand at my side again and leaves the bathroom. I slip out of my clothes and step into the shower, sitting on the floor and letting the water run over me, turning red as it flows back toward the drain.

Raine’s POV

He is still trying to shoulder everything on his own. Like he always tries to do. At least he let me wash his hands. It is really hard seeing him like this. He is always so confident and strong, but he is utterly and completely broken right now. He stays in the shower for a long time and when he finally walks out, he looks completely and utterly exhausted. He comes over to the bed and lays down on his side, turning away from me.

I scoot closer to him and run my fingers over his spine, feeling every dip between each vertebra. I move my hand to his shoulders and lazily trace the outline of his muscles through his shirt. He deeply sighs, slightly relaxing under my touch.

“Hunter? Can you look at me?”

He debates but ultimately gives up and rolls over, his face not far from mine.

“Can I ask you something?” I say, reaching out to brush his still wet hair out of his face. The sparks that dance between our skin are instantly calming for both of us. He nods his head in answer to my question.

“I guess it is less of a question and more of a statement,” I pause, and he looks at me expectantly, “I want you to mark me.”

His eyes widen in shock, and he quickly shakes his head no.

“Please?”

He pushes himself into a sitting position and leans back against the bed frame. I scooch myself so I can be sitting next to him, and I rest my head on his shoulder, while I grab and hold his hand.

“I want you to mark me,” I repeat, and he tenses.

“No. Not after everything that happened today,” he responds, his voice distant and tired.

“That is precisely why I want you to mark me, right now.”

“No.”

My heart starts to beat a little harder and faster when I think back to the feeling of Blaine’s hand on my jaw with the other down my shirt, his teeth touching my neck, his foul breath fanning over my skin…

“Hey, you are okay now. I am here,” Hunter says calmly, squeezing my hand.

“I realized that I don’t want anyone else’s mark on me except yours. That was almost taken away from me today and I don’t want to lose it again. Please, Hunter. Mark me.”

“I can’t risk it. I don’t know what will happen to you. I can’t lose you too,” he whimpers, pulling me closer to him.

“You can’t live your entire life in fear of the unknown. I am not going anywhere. The idea of you actually being able to feel everything that I feel terrifies me, but I don’t want to be connected to anyone else in that way. I only want you. I almost lost that chance. If Liam has more rogues and they come back, I want your mark on me,” I blurt out, feeling overwhelmed.

“They won’t come back.”

“You can’t promise that,” I argue back.

“I know…” he says sadly, “but I don’t want to hurt you, Raine. And the fact is that it might kill you and I can’t let myself take that chance right now.”

I gingerly move myself onto his lap and lay my head down on his chest as he protectively wraps his arms around me.

“I love you so much Raine.”

“I love you too.”

He holds me for a long time, his heart beating in rhythm with mine. At some point we fall asleep and for a brief moment, I am able to forget the horrific tragedies of today.