His Soft Fur

I kept Ty in my room all afternoon after school. My parents weren't home yet so we had the house to ourselves but we stayed in my room. There are days where he just wants to do homework, not talk about anything, and not get close. I see the way he looks at me on those days, and it makes me think that he's trying really hard to control himself. Then there are days where he doesn't do that, control himself, and we spend our time close to each other.

We don't kiss a lot.

When we do, I don't take it for granted.

He can be really passionate when he wants to be.

We were laying in my bed. He had his arms around me, holding me close to him. I couldn't think of how long we were doing this, but it was long enough to make me want him more. I didn't want to make a move that would ruin everything.

I could just imagine getting up over him, but I didn't. My arm was resting gently on his chest and I let it stay there. I didn't try to take off his shirt, or try to feel him up. As much as Ty enjoys this, which isn't a lot, he doesn't want to be all touchy in the way I would think he wants to.

We've had the conversation before but not seriously.

There are times when I think he's going to whisk me off my feet and take me. Ty has so much self control and he won't do that.

I don't think he'll do anything.

I'm okay with that. I'm not with him just to have sex. I just like being with him, and I like the way he kisses me.

I could spend all night doing that.

He will always be warm, even in just a plain t-shirt, it seems like he could be seconds away from sweating. My fingers traced his skin, and I could feel that burning warmth that draws me closer. I know I told myself not to touch him, but I was slow when my hand reached under his shirt. He didn't stop me when my hand just rested on his bare chest. I could feel his heart beat against my palm.

His lips are just as warm. They pressed between mine over and over again. In between I felt his breath on my skin. I'm always tempted to taste him, not like I can't already but if I...just...

Ty was first to lick my lip gently, his tongue tracing my skin before he kissed me again. I had chills going up my spine and my breath was taken away, I don't know why I was so surprised but I was. When he did it again, I started to smile as I leaned into him more, wanting him to do it again.

I guess I was excited because I haven't gotten that far with anyone before.

I was curious to know if Ty had. I'm new at this so I don't know if we know what we're doing but I still liked it.

I was tempted to move over him, the thought crossing my mind every second that he kissed me. I screamed in my mind to do it, to just lift myself up and move on him. I hadn't realized that I stopped moving completely, not kissing him, because I was so deep in my mind about doing what I'm screaming for.

It took some strength and courage, but I did move on him. I was still close enough to feel him breathing against my lips. His arms that were around me dropped on to the bed. I was slow to move my hands under his shirt, more concerned about not making him uncomfortable. He was letting me push his shirt up though.

Would he let me take it off?

I tried.

I lifted the shirt more and he moved again so I could take it off him. I've seen him without clothes before, so I wasn't surprised. Yet I had this feeling like it was the first time. I pulled away to see him, his expression, but mostly his body because I had his shirt off for a reason. My hand was pressing down on his chest and I continued to feel his warmth.

He looked at me, this faint blush on his cheeks that I would only be able to notice if I was staring.

He hasn't stopped me yet. I thought taking off his clothes would be too far but he hasn't said anything yet. I was curious if he would let me...

"Gabriel." He got my attention when my hand had trailed lower to the front of his pants, my finger pressing on his belt.

"I've seen you naked already." I smiled at him.

He was going to say something but he held back. It almost looked like he was tempted to do more but was using all the self control not to.

"You have no idea..." He lost his train of thought as he breathed hard. "I can't."

"Don't hold back because of me."

"I'm holding back because I could hurt you." He said and he's always been serious about that.

I believed him.

"I mean, it'll be my first time so it'll be a little rough regardless." I laughed quietly, and I just wanted to tease him but it didn't make him feel better.

I wanted to see what he was holding back.

"Show me." I was curious.

But he had this hesitant expression, like he wasn't sure if he would make it far. I trust him, and he already has so much self control. I wouldn't be helping if I told him I believed he would and could hurt me.

Ty is always gentle and kind. He's cautious. He's timid. He's scared of what he could do to me.

I still trust him.

His hands moved to my waist to hold on to me and moved me down on to the bed. I couldn't help but smile when he kissed me again. He wasn't so nervous this time. My arm moved around his neck, my fingers in his thick hair, hoping to keep him towards me.

He kept his body pressed to me.

I wasn't going to test his control, but I couldn't help but lift my leg over his waist. He was just in the perfect position to...well...if there was something to feel, I would definitely feel it. And I was hoping that was minutes away. When my leg lifted up more, his hand slid down to my pants, too, and he tugged on them gently. He was probably teasing himself with the idea of taking my clothes off.

He's never seen me naked. He hasn't seen me without my shirt off.

I didn't want him to stop holding me where he had me so I didn't move much more. As much as I wanted to take my clothes off, I wanted to stay wrapped around him.

But as quickly as he showed me how much he liked me, he stopped abruptly, pulling away and breathing hard as he tensed next to me. I opened my eyes to see his face, my hand cupping his cheek to feel his warmth.

His eyes were bright ice blue.

I knew it was still him. He was the only one with kind eyes. His teeth had grown in his mouth, too, but I could only stare at his lips. While I was fantasizing, he was probably having a crisis.

"It's okay." I whispered to him.

He seemed so scared.

And I know he's trying to hold back.

He took a breath to calm himself down. His eyes closed and his chest rose as he filled his lungs with air. As he exhaled, he opened his eyes, and they were a dark brown again.

He's getting better at controlling himself.

It just took a second for his eyes to turn blue.

"I can't..." He whispered.

"I don't think you would..." I don't think he would hurt me. I know him.

"I'm not worried about shifting, I'm worried about..."

His strength? Would he forgot how I'm not as strong as he is? He would probably get wrapped up in his mind, both of his consciousness telling him to go for what he wants. He would be all there, both halves of him.

"It's okay." I said again, bringing him closer to me. "I'll be ready when you are." I assured him.

He needs more time. The look in his eyes said that.

He let go of me and got out of bed. He had much more control than I give him credit for. He had enough strength to stall and give himself time before he shifts. He wasn't writhing in pain, but I know how sore he can get. There's a lot of strain he deals with. He left my room so he could go downstairs and outside to take care of what he can't do in a small space.

I got out of bed and put a jacket on so I could go outside. I heard a wolf howling and it's broad daylight out. I walked outside through the front door and I saw the white wolf sitting in the snow obediently.

He's waiting for me.

It was a little warmer today, enough that I didn't have to wear layers to not freeze to death. The snow was melting, soon I'll be able to see the grass again. I put my arms around the wolf and let my fingers get buried in his thick fur.

"I think you're getting the hang of this." I said to him quietly as I hugged him.

One day he'll be in control.

He got up slowly and looked towards the forest, a small whine coming from him. I glanced over to where he was looking to see a pale pink wolf coming from between the trees. I kept my arms in Ty's fur, he didn't try to move away from me. The other wolf walked over to us and just huffed out a breath of air before falling over in the melting snow.

I don't know what to do about that.

I think that's Brendan. I know how he feels about all this going on. He doesn't care. All he wants to do is sleep. And that's what he was trying to do right now.

Despite him trying to come on to me before, I felt bad for him.

Ty sat down again and I held on to him. He's so warm. I could stay next to him all day just to feel him.

He probably has to go, that's why Brendan was here.

"I know you can't stay." I said quietly. "I'll see you tomorrow." I rubbed his fur before I let go of him.

Ty gently rubbed against me, bowing his head so he could bump my shoulder. I know he'll be okay. I wasn't worried for him.

Brendan got up and they both left quietly, going back towards the forest. I don't know what they do when they're in their wolf forms, but I wonder if their lives we're easier that way. I know I say I feel bad, but is it better than what they go through as a human?

I wasn't going to ask.

I turned away to go inside the house. I was spending the afternoon by myself until my parents come home.

I was sitting in the kitchen with my parents. Dad was cooking dinner, and like usual, Mom would sit near him at the counter and watch as he would rant about his day and what happened.

"A good bit of the forest is almost gone. It's amazing how fast they work." Mom said.

I was shocked, too, because a portion of the space is now empty, like it wasn't there in the first place.

“All these hunters are going to hurt someone, I don’t even think they’re certified to actually hunt animals. It will be a matter of time before Animal Control is standing around everywhere just to keep this town safe.” Dad was almost waiting for the moment he gets to see Animal Control finally go at it with annoying people.

He doesn't like the construction because it gets in the way. He wants to go somewhere and he doesn't want to be stopped when he's going there. He thinks it's all problematic.

“Mr. Conrod probably isn’t paying them much.” I said quietly.

“And here’s what else that happened today." Dad put his knife down. "I was threatened by Mr. Conrod." He looked right at me, and I just looked away, pretending to look for something to eat in the fridge.

It was going to happen at some point, my dad finding out that I'm messing around. "Gabriel, what the heck are you doing getting in Mr. Conrod’s way by yourself?” he asked me.

Even though it was days ago, its still going to be floating around. Conrod tried to hold out on that one, didn't he?

“What?” Mom was quick to ask since she wasn't in the loop.

She's about to be.

“He apparently got between hunters and the wolves." He emphasized where I was. "The beast size wolves, Anne.” Dad was freaking out.

I think I regret what I did. It's probably because I got caught but I definitely don't want to do it again if Mr. Conrod is going to harass my dad. It wouldn't be fair to him.

Mom still didn't understand. She was shocked. “Gabriel-”

“I can explain, I swear.” I said quickly as I looked at them.

“So Conrod told me I might get fired if you’re stupid again." Dad said plainly as he looked down again, continuing to cut the vegetables. He had that expression on his face like he didn't care. "I just told him that I won’t control what you do.” He shrugged.

He's reached that point in his life where he's tired of me doing dumb stuff. I brought so many animals home that he just went numb. He knows I want the wolves to be safe. That's why he stood up for me.

"Thanks, Dad." I smiled.

"If I get fired-"

“You want him to get taken away, don’t you?” Mom hugged me tightly, her hand on my face, and she kept me close to her.

“He's fine.” he rolled his eyes.

“Gabriel, do not do what you did again.” Mom was serious and she had the right to be.

“I won't” I said as I looked at her.

I couldn't look away because she held my face in her hands. She wanted to make sure I was taking her seriously and I was. I wasn't going to do this to her again. She must be scared.

“Animal Control is going to be all over this problem.” Dad said. Everyone is beginning to find out about the wolves.

After what happened at school, no one knows what to think.

The news has been talking about it. And they weren't exactly vague with which side they're on considering that Mr. Conrod is signing their pay checks. I'm not surprised.

“They should be putting warnings out for dangerous animals in the area.” Mom suggested.

"You can't really put those warnings in school." I said because of what happened.

“I don't pay taxes for you to not go to school” Dad told me.

“You don’t know where your money is going.”

“Sure as hell not to Conrod.” Dad was just mad about everything.

Mr. Conrod is an ass. He's giving my dad high blood pressure.

After dinner, I went up to my room to find a few books that I had to return to the library. I had finished reading them, well skimming them, so I might as well get new ones. I found the one wolf book I was supposed to go through but didn't. There were so many pictures and that's really what I stared at. I need a book with more words.

The sun was beginning to set but it wasn't dark yet. It was quiet which was a first for the day. I remembered earlier in the afternoon when I was with Ty.

I hope he comes over tonight.

I began to smile as I thought to myself. I hadn't realized how I was enjoying Ty's company. Maybe I should show him some of the books I've checked out.

As I was driving, I saw something I noticed the other day. The hunters had their guns and they were aggravated with the large animals that were all over their construction area. Eight angry wolves were stalking closer to a group of twelve men holding large weapons. They shouted for the animals to back off but that didn't happen.

I sat in my car for just a second.

That's when I heard the first gun shot.

Then after that, it was a blur. Well, I saw a grey wolf that lunged forward quickly without hesitation, towards two men that immediately began to back away when he got too close.

There were more gun shots.

I got out of my car and I ran as fast as I could, my heart jolting at every shot I heard. Those hunters will kill the wolves if I don't do something.

They didn't see me coming.

Because of that, I felt the intense pain that made it through my left side. It was so sharp that it was the only thing I noticed. Not my racing heart, not my strained breathing.

And not the way my vision darkened before I blacked out.