His Soft Fur

Cina has been causing me problems. Ty already has issues dealing with himself, and it not like he knows what's happening. So Ty coming in and telling him that he's doing something wrong, or he could hurt me, or whatever he said is not what he's supposed to do. Cina had no right.

I like Ty.

And I don't want someone else influencing his decisions about me.

I can take care of myself.

It was my lunch period when I decided to wait till the halls cleared. Cina tends to skip class, so I knew where to find him a few minutes after the bell rang. He didn’t seem to notice me walking towards him. He’s lucky there’s no one around to see me get mad at him.

I can handle myself.

I can take care of myself.

I'm not some brainwashed kid. He's an idiot if he thinks I'm going to beg him to stay out of my business.

I went right up to him. “What did you do?” I asked him.

He turned to me slowly. “About?”

He knows exactly what I was talking about, and I only figured that out because of the smile on his face. “You asshole.”

He pushed me against the lockers and he kept me there while he got close to me. I held my breath because I felt my heart jam in my chest, but I was still angry, and it didn’t make me feel good. He continued to smile at me with that smug grin on his face.

“I did nothing, princess.” he said, staying just as close to me. “Don’t get me involved with your little relationship. I warned you this was coming.”

I knew it.

“What did you say to him, Cina?"

“Ty is just as unstable as ever.” He moved his hands off the locker and held them up, like he was going to back off. "I just told him the truth. If he likes you, he'd stay away from you-"

I wanted to hit him for saying that. It is not his place. He knows that. If Ty likes me, then he likes me. And I know Cina knows more about what Ty is going through. It's not just liking me, there's more there. What does Cina think is going to happen? That Ty will listen to him because he's the older brother?

“Oh come on, what’s the problem here?” He asked when he saw my scowl. I was not happy.

I took that as a chance to try and hit him but he just pinned me back on the lockers, this time his hands on my shoulders, and he didn’t let go. “You don’t want to do that.” He warned me.

"You're the one telling me to stay out of your business. Have some respect and stay out of mine-"

He didn't like that very well. He wasn't using a lot of force to hold me down. "It becomes all of our business when you're messing with one of us." He was no longer smiling. And he sure as hell wasn't being friendly.

"Leave me alone."

He wasn't going to, not until I stop hanging out with Ty. Cina can be more than just an asshole. He's just as threatening as his older brothers when he wants to be, and it might work if I didn't already know that he was trying to do this.

We definitely would've gone at it since there was nothing stopping me from forcing him off me, but I heard Channing's voice down the hall and he did not sound happy to see Cina threatening me.

But before Channing could even get close enough to threaten Cina about his behavior, we all stopped when we heard something.

It was a low growl coming from down the hallway in the opposite direction.

A white wolf showed itself.

My heart sank into my stomach because I didn't know Ty would ever get angry enough to be like this in public. Did he hear what Cina said? He was probably tired of dealing with it. Now look at what happened.

There's a wolf in the hallway.

"Shit." Brendan's voice was behind me.

I didn't know he was here either. I couldn't take my eyes off the wolf that was stalking closer.

“He won’t do anything,” Channing said calmly.

I thought it was a lie.

The look in Ty’s eyes only spoke rage. I don’t want Ty doing something he shouldn’t.

I thought Channing would walk out in front of us, or maybe Brendan might've done something. That's not what happened.

Clothes tore as I turned back. When I blinked, I saw the large ball of black fur, the animal shaking in place before stepping forward and making his stance. It took Channing less than a second to shift. I had turned back to look, both Cina and Brendan's hands on me, wanting to push me away.

Things happened in slow motion for me.

I couldn't watch everything happen.

When I blinked, I felt a rush of air and the black wolf had ran forward towards the white one. By the time I looked towards them, they had already started fighting.

I couldn't rush to help. I know how serious Channing can be, and he wants Ty to obey. I wanted to go to Ty when I saw Channing push him down and keep him there. I felt hands holding me back, keeping me from going over to animals that were fighting. I'd get mauled without a second glance. Cina and Brendan were holding me back, and they were trying hard because I was putting up a fight.

Ty growled loudly, but he didn't fight.

He couldn't.

He had no choice but to listen.

His growls turned into whines until he finally went quiet and didn't move. Channing didn't think to move off him, not until he was sure that Ty wouldn't do anything.

I hadn't realized the halls filling with students and teachers. There were screams and shouting. It's not everyday that we see wolves in the hallways, but no one took a step forward. The adults we're quick to get the students back in their classrooms because it wasn't safe. Ty and Channing may have stopped fighting, but Channing had turned towards us and it wasn't a friendly glance towards the thinning crowd behind me.

Brendan and I were rushed off with another small group of students. I would've been pushed inside a classroom but I blacked out.

The first thought I had when I woke up was that I can't keep passing out when things get stressful.

I had no idea what happened.

Or how I ended up in a bed.

I was...

I was in the nurse's office.

"Oh my God." I sighed miserably as I rubbed my face. I felt absolutely awful.

"You hit your head." Brendan said next to me.

"You're holding on to me, yet I hit my head." I can't believe I fell, and I can't believe he let me.

"That was none of my business." Brendan said.

I sighed again and turned over in the bed. I did not feel good at all. I was so tired and heavy, and when I moved, I felt where I hit my head. It's good that I didn't see what happened. It would've been worse if I was over thinking.

“Lets get out of here.” Brendan said.

“No way-”

“Up to you." I turned over to see Brendan walking towards the door. "I’m bored.” he said and shrugged.

We just walked out of the room and down the hallway. I wanted to know what happened but the halls were cleared. It's...the last period of the day.

"What happened to-"

The parking lot was empty. They let everyone out. Was it because it was an emergency? The wolves? What happened to Ty and Channing? I couldn't ask the question, I was stunned. Brendan didn't say anything as he walked outside, and I followed quickly behind him to his car.

I just let him go where ever he wanted. I had a headache and I didn't care where we were going. I had to think of something to say to my parents later.

Who knows what's going to happen now.

Brendan drove to the library and parked in the furthest parking spot away from the other cars. When he got out, he just sat on the hood without saying a word. I stayed in the car for a second, not sure what he wanted or why he would come here. I guess I could go inside but he looked a little upset. I wanted to know what happened, too, and he was here.

He pulled out a small cigarette, well... a blunt. My Dad always had a problem with me hanging out with the stoner kids. “If anyone asks, I don’t smoke.” he said as he lit it. I stared at him. "What?" He asked.

"You never smoked." I said.

"It helps with the nausea." He said and took a breath after he placed it between his lips.

I forgot that he feels that way sometimes. Is it so unbearable that he has to use marijuana to calmed that feeling? I was sorry for him. I had no idea what he was going through.

“I don't mean... to cause you trouble.” I said quietly.

He blew out the smoke when he had inhaled enough of it . “I knew Cina would fuck up somehow.”

“I get that he gets panic attacks and all, but tell him to back off." I said angrily when I heard Cina's name come out of Brendan's mouth. "None of what happened today would've happened if he would leave me alone."

"He's right though." Brendan agreed with him.

"What-"

"This would be much easier if you wouldn't get so nosy." He said bluntly as he smoked.

"You're kidding."

"Ty is an unstable mess. You sure you want to be with that?" He asked me, a serious question. He was playing around or asking for fun. It was for my own good. "It's all fun and games until he can't control himself."

His eyes were cold. It was almost like a glare, but I could tell he wanted to know the truth.

"Help him."

"Gotta help myself first." He looked away and moved the blunt to his lips again. "We all have shit to go through. We don't need an outside problem, too."

I'm...an outside problem. I'm not surprised that's how he sees me.

"Ty wants someone to talk to. And he wouldn't have to come to me if you actually helped him-"

"Do you know what he did with you?"

"If I know what you're thinking, that didn't happen." I knew what he was asking, at least I thought I did considering how he asked the question.

"That's not what I meant, but it's going to happen at some point, so it's great that you put that out there."

"You're just as much an asshole as Cina." I said angrily and paced around. "I get that it's the whole, protect your sibling, or whatever, but you're not exactly being helpful about that." I continued my rant.

"Ty more than just likes you," he said calmly. "I mean, it's more serious than you think."

I thought I understood but he's making it seem like I didn't. I know Ty likes me, I like him, but to Brendan and his brothers this was much different. And Ty said that to me, too.

It's...a wolf thing...right?

"And-"

"You don't get it." Brendan got up so he could face me. "We're not normal, nothing we do will ever be normal." Now he was the one complaining. "We're going to be trapped here because of our genetics and we can never leave. There's no more privacy between us, no more space, no more boundaries."

He was...this frustrated him more than I thought.

"We all have problems. You don't want to get involved." He shook his head, wanting to rant more but he kept it to himself, sitting on the hood of his car again. "And Ty has a shit ton to work through."

I wanted to know how bad it was.

He was clearly concerned that Ty might get too involved with me. That wasn't concerning for me. I liked having him to talk to and hang out with. That will never be a bad thing.

"What is...Ty saying about me?"

"He wants to stay around you." Brendan said quietly. "He'll get distracted and think about you, just the little things and all that. Sometimes, Channing has a hard time getting him to obey." He explained.

Oh.

"So Cina and I say stay away, but that's not really going to happen." He almost sounded defeated by that.

"I would apologize." I said.

I wasn't apologetic for them. I was for Ty, because I don't know what happened for him to make him feel that way about me, but now he's fighting with his brothers.

I felt bad for him.

"Cina's right." Brendan said again because he agreed with what Cina was doing. "When Candice found out about Channing, shit almost hit the fan."

"He told her?"

"Oh, no. They got into a fight, and he turned right in front of her." Brendan said. "And everyone knows Channing, he can be quick with his temper." He rolled his eyes.

"Did he...?"

"Candice is fine. Lost her shit, but nothing happened to her." He added so I wouldn't worry. "Channing is lucky that she isn't all paranoid."

"I can handle myself."

Brendan didn't respond to my comment. He blew the smoke out from his lips and looked away for a second. He wasn't particularly happy, but I feel like he wanted someone to vent to.

Do his siblings just not talk to each other?

I know I can't imagine what they're going through, but they're going through it together. All they have is each other. They might as well talk about it.

He lifted his hand, the blunt between his fingers. He was offering it to me.

"No, thanks. My dad is waiting on the day he can yell at me for being a stoner kid." I said, not interested.

"Right." Brendan said plainly as he looked at it. "I could barely get out of bed this morning because of the nausea." He was lost in thought as he rolled it between his fingers. "I haven't felt this bad before." He said.

"I'm sorry that you go through that."

I can't say I don't feel bad that he's feeling sick all the time.

He looked at me, and for the first time, he didn't have that natural glare in his eyes. He probably just wanted someone to say they thought he deserved better. I barely talk to Brendan. He's just like Channing except for one thing. He has no motivation. He doesn't want to do anything. He's tired all the time, and now he gets sick, too. He's over all of this already.

"Don't move." He said quietly.

I didn't.

But I didn't know what he was going to do until he got closer to me. His other hand moved to my face as he leaned in. I wasn't hesitant to have him so close to me. I wasn't nervous.

But I wasn't going to let him do what he was planning on doing.

"Ty can't, but you can?" I whispered when he was close enough.

He hadn't moved away, but he sighed. He's just mad me got caught. What did he think I was going to let him do to me?

Did he really think he could kiss me and get away with it.

After a few seconds, his hand dropped from my neck and he moved away from me.

I got up, not in the mood to do this anymore. "Take me home." I opened the passenger door and got inside the car.

I don't want to be here anymore.

I crossed my arms as I watched him get up to get inside the car. He didn't say anything at first, and I hoped he wouldn't come up with something to me. There's nothing that would be able to explain his behavior. I don't care why he tried to do it, I don't care what he wanted out of it.

He's no better than Cina.

"Ty can't ever leave." He said to me. "You'll break him if you try to."

I didn't say anything to his comment. I just looked out the window as he started his car. But I knew what he meant. Better to break Ty's heart now instead of later.

I didn't say anything the whole ride to my house.

I got out of the car and that was the end of that. I wasn't going to talk to Brendan again because he's crossing a line, just like Cina was. It's not like I need their support but I don't need Cina harassing me and I certainly don't need Brendan trying to confuse me. They're so worried about me or whatever, yet they're just trying to make everything worse.

I went up to my room, not surprised to find Ty asleep in my bed. That was the only pleasant part of my day. Maybe if I ask my parents, they'll let him stay the night.

I put my bag down and walked around my room. He finally brought his own clothes so I could throw all if mine back into the closet. I got into bed next to him, and pushed him so he would wakeup. His eyes opened, in shock, like he forgot where he was. I smiled at him, but he just wrinkled his nose.

“You smell like Brendan.” he said.

"He tried to kiss me." I said plainly.

Ty just stared at me, his dark eyes over my face for a solid second. Then he just shrugged. I was more shocked that he wasn't shocked.

"Are you serious?" I asked him.

"Brendan is the most indecisive person on the planet. He doesn't know what he wants, and that applies just as much to his sexuality." Ty almost laughed but he didn't get there. He was holding back his smile, and he does it fairly well.

"What if he had kissed me?"

"Would you kiss him back?" He asked as a genuine question.

I pretended to think about it and that's what got him upset. He had this cold look in his eyes and I began to laugh, hoping he wouldn't be upset about me messing with him. He didn't like that.

"I mean, I guess I get the whole indecisive sexuality thing." I sighed quietly. "It's not easy figuring that out."

"Have you figured that out?"

"Come on, Ty." I couldn't believe that he couldn't tell. "I don't need to be wearing rainbow every day of my life for you to tell." I told him.

He continued to stare at me.

I've been overbearing with Ty for a while now, there's no way he had no idea. I know I haven't come out to anyone, but Ty should know. I'm always actively flirting with him. We hold hands and kiss.

I don't think he believed me.

"You can't be that clueless."

"You haven't told anyone yet?" He asked me.

"Well..." I took a breath.

The one negative thing about small towns is the secrets we have to keep. I don't want to say that being gay isn't well tolerated here, but I'm one hundred percent sure that there has been one person that has come out as gay, and that's it. There's not exactly families with gay parents or gay couples or anything. I've always thought about what it would be like to go to the city, I hear it's better there to be...out. I'm not scared...I think I'm not.

It's just easier to keep to myself.

"One time, my dad wanted to check out the mall that first month it had been opened." I started my story. "I just wanted to test out what his reaction would be so when this one boy walked by, I said he was cute." I could remember it like it was yesterday.

Ty began to smile. He knows how my dad is so he can probably guess what his response was.

"He says nothing for a minute as we're walking. And then he says 'I don't think I can comment, I don't want to go to jail'." I laughed. I couldn't take my dad seriously after that. "When we walked into a store, he immediately called my mom because he didn't know what to tell me."

"He wouldn't yell at you for it." Ty said.

"Oh no, he wouldn't." I believed my parents would be okay. "But the other parts of my family can be a little bit... conservative, so the last thing I need is for my parents to have to constantly defend me and all that. It's just easier to keep it quiet." I sighed to myself. I prefer to keep it the way it is.

One day, I might say it out right, but it's fun to keep them guessing. My dad wouldn't ask me if I was seeing a girl, he'll just be vague and ask if there's a person I like, but he would have that expression like he's walking on eggshells. It's entertaining.

"What about you?" I asked Ty. "I know you said you've never been interested in someone but I almost don't believe you."

"Do you want the honest answer?" He asked, and it was a warning because he has no problem telling me the truth no matter what the situation.

"I know you wouldn't be so close to me if your wolf senses weren't a thing." I knew the truth.

"It's not that." He looked away, slightly nervous. He sat up so he could find the right words. "I just...it would've taken longer." He said. "I don't...I don't like getting close to people. That whole being vulnerable with someone is not something I like." He admitted.

"I like getting to know you." I said, hoping to make him feel better but he just stared at me. "I like kissing you, too."

"I know that." He was deadpan.

He has to stop doing this. I'm trying to flirt but he won't let me. When he keeps his expression plain like that, I get bothered.

"You know what else Brendan told me?" I asked. He had that look like he wasn't interested. "One day you'll mate with me-"

"You never fail to say that." Ty turned over in bed and he didn't respond when I pushed on his back. I was just teasing him.

"Oh come on, it can't be that big a deal." I laughed though I tried to stop. "It's not like something will happen to me."

Ty had gone quiet. And for a second, I wasn't sure what it was. He was worried about something and I didn't want him to be.

"I don't...want to hurt you." He said quietly. He had this faint blush on his face. It was almost like he was embarrassed.

He's thought about it.

"I already have a difficult time controlling myself around you and I don't..." He was nervous.

This is why he doesn't like when I bring it up.

It makes him nervous.

"Hey." I took his hand and got him to look at me. "We don't have to do anything." I told him. "I'm just messing with you, but you don't have to worry about things like that." I assured him.

I know what it's like to not be one hundred percent there. I know what it's like to be confused, unsure, and scared. I would never pressure him into something he doesn't want. That's not why I'm with him. I like talking to him and being with him. That's all that matters.

Ty doesn't have to worry about those things because I don't really care. I just like being with him.