Frontier Rats - Quest for Ratopia

In her cosy little den, Mother opens her oven which is a large catering tin can with a door that her husband Edward made for her. She takes out a small tray of steaming flapjacks and places them on a cooling rack. When they are cool she wraps them up in brown paper. “That school will starve those poor boys with their meagre rations.” She writes a short message for Uphrasia on the paper and squeezes herself out through the entrance tunnel. She pops out of the hole in the curb just as the red setting sun dips below the horizon. Then she hums cheerfully as she heads down the steep hill towards the sewage plant.

In his cubicle Thompus packs his belongings into his small rucksack. He takes a last look at his school report pinned on the wall with the word “FAILED” stamped on it and lets out a sigh. He walks out through the mess hall past the other rats who are busy chatting, eating and celebrating their success. Not even the other Zucker rats pay him any attention as he walks out through the exit door.

A large grey truck drives through the tall gates of the sewage plant, the headlights making a bright arc across the flat roof. On the side of the van is a picture of a shocked rat with a bolt of lightning through its chest, surrounded by a circle of bright red words, “PEST EXTERMINATORS!” Two men wearing clean white protective coveralls, breathing masks and head torches get out. They open a side door, pull out two long hoses and drag them to a row of ten small, vertical air vents poking out of the flat roof of the plant. In the light of the van headlights one of the men seals eight of the vents with sticky tape while the other attaches the hoses to the two remaining. Then he opens the doors at the back of the van to reveal two large gas tanks marked “POISON!” over a skull and cross bones! He pulls down a metal lever and the pipes begin to hiss.

The feint yellow glow of Scrod’s campfire lights up the clearing. Uphrasia and Konrad struggle down the slope towards it trying to keep the heavy bowl level. Scrod sits beside the fire holding a stick with a dried wrinkly worm on the end of it. He turns it slowly over the flames then nibbles the end of the worm and makes a gagging face. “Yuck!” They plonk the bowl on the ground and flop down beside the warm fire rubbing their paws and holding them up to the flames. Scrod gets up and peers into the bowl then scratches his head. “I’ve never seen such plump slugs!” He pops the slug into his mouth, chews and swallows it. He raises his eyebrows and licks his lips. “India Pale Ale if I’m not mistaken. We should eat them before they spoil. After all it’s going to be a long night.”

Konrad panics. “Long night? Aren’t we going back now?”

“No, tonight we sleep under the stars.” He burps, looking up at the first star twinkling in the grey sky. “Get the whole wilderness experience.”

Konrad whispers behind his paw. “Uphrasia, what about our dates?”

Uphrasia puts up his paw. “General, sir, couldn’t we take the slugs back to share with the others?”

“You’re forgetting the Rat Way! If we share these slugs, we would be turning our backs on our own nature. You wouldn’t want that now, would you?”

Uphrasia frowns. “Uh, no sir, I guess not.”

Rose and Nute sit side by side on a huge mound of steaming manure. They stare at the view of Grumthorpe, now fully lit with the lights of the traffic streaking over and under the motorways. Gaudy signs flash with neon and plumes of grey smoke rise from the factory chimneys and vanish into the darkened sky. Nute wrinkles her forehead and looks up at Rose. “Where do you suppose they are?”

Rose shakes her head. “They probably got held up. I bet they are sprucing themselves up right now, you know, so they look their best.”

“Do you think he’ll like me?”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

Nute strokes one of the wires on her head. “They frighten people away.”

“Let me tell you, he likes you. He told me so.”

The corner of Nute’s mouth turns up slightly. “Really?”

Rose nods.

Nute looks back at the sparkling lights of the city. “I suppose we could wait a little longer then. Just so they have time to look their best.” They sit silhouetted against the glittering city. “I had that dream again last night. I feel in my wires that something terrible will befall us.”

Rose looks at her with narrowed eyes. She knows that when Nute gets a bad feeling about something she is generally right. “What did you dream?”

Nute shakes her head and looks up at the moon. “I saw horror, dead faces floating on a cloud among the stars.” Rose puts her arm around Nute’s shoulder and Nute pulls her knees up and wraps her paws around them. “We can’t live here. I know we have to go but no one will believe me.”

“What about your grandfather, Professor Abler?”

“He doesn’t hold with my visions, he’s all about logic. If there is no evidence to prove it, then it’s not real.”

“I must admit your dream frightens me.”

“You know I’m never wrong.”

“But, where would we go? We are surrounded by wilderness and we can’t live in Grumthorpe City. It’s overpopulated with cats. Not forgetting the humans hate us.”

Nute stares up at the stars. “Up there, that’s where we have to go.”

Rose looks up at the bright moon. “Up there?”

“You know they are planning a mission, to the stars. We have to be on that mission Rose. We just have to.”

“So many rats have made the grade, we are way down the pecking order.”

“Still, we must be on that spaceship”

Rose frowns. “You’re talking about stowing away.”

“Isn’t that exactly what we are meant to do? We are rats after all.”

“We don’t have the equipment or the spacesuits.”

“Let me see to that. Will you go with me if we are not selected Rose?”

Rose looks at the city and purses her lips. “I can’t see why not. There’s not a lot left for us here.”

Nute nuzzles her head into Rose’ side.

The fire in the camp is now blazing as heavy snowflakes fall and settle on the ground all around them. Scrod, Uphrasia and Konrad lie on their backs, bellies bulging. Konrad lets out a long, low burp. “Argh! I feel dizzy.” A snowflake lands on his nose; he looks at it, cross eyed, as it melts.

Uphrasia is uncommonly cheerful. “I feel great! How about a song?”

Scrod burps. “Good idea!” He furrows his brow. “I don’t know any songs. Songs never really came up in military training.”

Konrad sits bolt upright. “I know the perfect song! Burp!”

Uphrasia counts to four and Konrad starts to sing in a squeaky tone.

“It’s tough at the bottom of the food chain.”

Uphrasia joins in slightly out of tune.

“When every single day is do or die,

and whenever you look up,

all you see is someone’s butt,

crapping down on you from on high!”

Scrod joins in with some of the words and they sing at the top of their voices.

“Yes it’s tough at the bottom of the food chain,

when no one seems to care or wonder why.

You’re bound to stink a bit,

when you’re swimming round in

shoo-ooh-oo-wage.

The scorn of every single passer-by!”

Scrod chuckles. “That’s a fine song. Where did you learn it?”

The smile disappears from Uphrasia’s face and he stares into the dancing flames. “Father used to sing it to me.” They settle down next to the fire and curl up to go to sleep. Scrod places a few more branches on the fire then lays down looking into the flames and closes his eyes.

Dawn breaks and red sunlight filters through the barren trees now with a layer of snow on their branches. The three awake, stretching and yawning. Scrod holds his head. “Oh my brain hurts.” He rubs his face with some of the snow that covers the forest floor. They cover up the burnt patch of the fire with dirt, then Scrod leads them back along the icy path in single file.

Konrad’s teeth chatter and he turns up the collar of his tunic. “My it’s gotten cold quickly.”

Uphrasia stamps his feet and rubs his paws together. “It’s going to be a harsh winter.”

“I hear it’s very cold in space.”

“It is. Very, very cold. We are better off here if you ask me.”

The sewage plant is unusually quiet as they march in through the gate, not noticing the fresh tire tracks in the snow under their feet. Scrod enters the mess hall first and freezes, staring aghast at a horrible sight. “Dear Gorgonzola preserve us!” The other two enter and stand next to him, their mouths open. Konrad hides his face in his paws. The mess hall is full of dead rats. The elite Zucker rats are piled up on one of the long tables. Scrod lifts one of their heads. It’s Roderick, his face contorted, his mouth open wide. Scrod lets out a deep sigh. “I’ve seen this before. Gassed! All dead. Those inhuman humans!” He gently lowers Roderick’s head.

Professor Abler, Rose and Nute enter the room. Rose holds Nute by the paw, fresh tears glisten on their furry cheeks. “Um, Uphrasia.” Rose’s voice breaks up, she covers her mouth and shakes her head.

Professor Abler takes hold of Uphrasia by the arm. “You’d better come with me young fellow.” Abler puts his grey paw on Uphrasia’s shoulder, turns him around and guides him out of the room.

In the long dormitory corridor, the floor is littered with more dead rats. Some hang out of their sleeping boxes, some lie on the floor holding onto each other. All wear the same desperate expression. On the floor at Uphrasia’s feet, still clutching the food parcel, is Mother. He drops to his knees and lifts up her limp paw and whispers, “Mother.”

Mother stirs and her voice is faint and raspy, “Is that you, my boy?”

He cradles her in his arms. “Yes, it’s me, Mother.”

“I was wrong, it’s not safe here my love. Follow your dreams.” With that she lets out a long breath of green gas and closes her eyes. Uphrasia leans over her and weeps.

Abler kneels beside him and pats him on the back. “So tragic. There, there, my boy. There, there.”

Uphrasia looks up, face creased with rage. “Those rotten humans, I hate them, I hate them!” He lowers his head and sobs. “I hate them.”

All the surviving rats are gathered on the banks of a wide river. Around a hundred tiny rafts are lined up with at least one dead rat on each, some with two, many with three. Uphrasia places a lit candle next to his mother’s body. Then he pushes the tiny craft out onto the water. The other rats push their loved ones out into the current. Thompus heaves his raft into the water, then steps back and wipes his nose and sniffs, watching Roderick’s body float away. A line of tiny lights drift towards a huge waterfall that drops a hundred feet and thunders into a foaming rapid. Mother’s raft reaches the edge and tips over. The candle goes out as the raft is swallowed by falling white water. Nute watches misty eyed, the vision from her dream now a reality as the clouds reflect in the water and the faces of her comrades float by illuminated by tiny candles. Scrod gathers the survivors near the river bank. “A solemn day. Many friends lost and barely any elite cadets left for our mission. Yet the mission must proceed. We have no choice now. For reasons beyond our understanding we have been spared this horrible fate. But clearly we can’t stay here anymore. I will have to lead the mission myself!”

He looks at Rose. “Will you lead a team Rose?” She nods in silence. He turns to Professor Abler and Nute. “Our science team bore heavy losses. Will you step up?” Then he turns his attention to the new recruits. “Uphrasia and Konrad, we will need smart young rats on this mission.” Uphrasia stares, a cold glazed stare, unable to form words in his mouth.

Konrad takes a step forward. “We will do our duty General.” He squeezes Uphrasia’s arm. “Won’t we, pal?” Uphrasia nods.

“It’s decided then, the rest of our survivors will take on the vacated roles. We must gather equipment and supplies. May Gorgonzola grant us all a safe passage.” He straightens up and puffs out his chest. “What are we?!”

They all mumble together, “Survivors.”

His voice is deep and booming. “What are we?!!”

They all shout, “Survivors!!”

“That’s right! Because we survive!”

The rats race about the sewage plant rooms and corridors collecting equipment and supplies. Scout leads a group of ten scruffy misfits marching in line two by two, all out of time, wearing ill-fitting uniforms. All the smaller and youngest rats of the colony who were sleeping safely at home.

Nute and Professor Abler pack electronic gadgets into a large kit bag. Abler checks off a list in his paw. “Toxin tester, atmosphere analyser, radiation Geiger counter, water purifying tablets.” He strokes his beard. “What am I missing?” He looks at Nute and she smiles.

“Spacesuits!”

“Ah of course we wouldn’t get far without our spacesuits.” He pockets his list, places his paws on his hips and smiles. “Well, you got the mission you wanted young lady. I hope you are prepared for what is to come.”

“I am Grand pappy!”

On the walls of a locker room hang many spacesuits. On the shelves above, rows of shiny new space helmets. Konrad steps into a spacesuit, pulls it up over his hips and pushes his arms in. Then he tries to zip up the front. The zipper gets stuck halfway up his belly. “This one’s no good, it’s far too small for me.”

Uphrasia zips his own suit up to his neck. “It’s the largest one we could find.” He puts his foot on Konrad’s tummy, pushes down hard as Konrad pulls on the zip and it slides up. Konrad’s tummy bulges. “Phew! No room for extra rations in here.”

“They all seem to be Zucker rat sizes. Try not to bend over or it may rip. We’ll get it adjusted on the ship.”

Konrad frowns and purses his lips. “I’m scared Uphrasia.”

“Don’t worry, old pal. We’ll be OK. Just follow the Rat Way and nothing bad will happen. Just think, at least we are still together.”

“Yes, I suppose.”

“We’ll watch each other’s back. Agreed?”

Konrad smiles. “Agreed.”

Scrod enters. “Get a move on you two. Everyone else has already left!”

Konrad looks up at him with his little beady round eyes. “I had a little trouble with my suit, sir.”

“So I see. Well, hurry up and get out of it. We have a long journey ahead and you can’t march in that outfit.” He grunts and marches out. They take down their helmets, hold them under their arms and stand looking each other up and down.

“Well this is it, old friend. No turning back now. We are going into outer space to face the unknown, adventure and danger.” Uphrasia grins.

“I’m going to miss my cosy cubicle.”

“We’ll have more room in our new quarters and best of all we get to share.”

“Do you think they have slugs in space?”

“Slugs are everywhere pal. Slugs are everywhere!”