Chapter Don't Wake Her
“Would you ever let it go?”
“To be with you?” He countered.
“Yes…”
“In a heartbeat. But it wouldn’t be what you want. Not what you think. I’m an animal. I thrive on consuming other animals. I fight, I hunt, I kill. And I feel nothing while I’m doing it.”
“Do you feel something when you’re inside me?” She said softly.
Ouch.
Not a question I was prepared for.
“I feel everything when I’m inside you.” He said flatly.
“How do you mean?”
“How don’t I mean?” He countered. Sighing. “We’re resolving nothing. It ultimately comes down to your desire to hear me tell you my every thought, whim and plan. I can’t. I won’t. It’s not safe for you or anyone else if I do. There’s many men that’d hurt you to know what I do. I can’t allow that. But I want you!” Passion entered his voice as he pressed on vehemently. “I want you next to me, near me. Warm and welcoming when I’m here. I want to make meals with you. Dance with you behind doors and treat you as my queen. You either can accept what I offer or you cannot.”
Make a choice.
Dimurah swallowed. Voice emerging in small pants and he knew she was close to crying.
Don’t cry. He realized how harsh he’d sounded. I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. But he didn’t know how to convey it.
“I can’t!” She sobbed. Putting a hand over her mouth and ducking her head in hopes he wouldn’t catch that she cried.
I could never miss it.
“If you can’t then you can’t, Murah. I can’t make you. And I can’t change the way things are. But you hiring an army to keep me away from you won’t ease your pain.”
She sobbed again. Her whole body jerking quietly. Her hands slid from her face to flop onto the coverlet.
“If you want me to leave you alone, I can’t promise I can. But I will do my best. But I miss talking with you. Miss your face.” He reached out a slim fingered hand and trailed his palm and fingertips over her features.
“What are you doing?” Her voice cracked.
“Trying to memorize them. In-case you ask me to stay away from you.” He rose from the bed. Making the rushes creak as they plumped again. He went to her bedroom door. Turning back as his hand landed on the handle. “I can’t stay out of Winter Haven though, Murah. No matter what you ask.”
“Why not?”
“Because if I do…They’ll hurt you.”
“Who?”
“My assassins.” He returned to stand over her. “They respect you because I’m there to demand they do. And I reward any disrespect to you with brutality. That’s what keeps them behaving in your alehouse. I can’t give you more than that.”
That’s why I took Joe’s hand.
“Don’t go.” She pleaded. Patting the rushes next to her. “Come warm me once more.”
He rounded on her. Boots whispering across the floor. “No, Murah. I won’t.”
“Why?” She was shocked.
“Because I know you. And you’ll use it as a reason to put on more armor against me. And though I can defer to your wishes. I won’t aid you in having the strength to stand by them. Your weakened defenses and affection to me are my hope. I won’t assist you in destroying them.”
“I hate that you’re so clever.”
“Most people do.” He sighed. Standing at the edge of her bed.
She reached out and grasped his hand. Pulling him onto her bed.
Surrendering he sat next to her again. Twisting to lean over her. His shoulders encompassing her smaller frame. He used his fingertips to trail her hairline and down her eyelids. Over the length of her nose and the swell of her lips to the curve of her chin. Then following the path again. Until he heard her fall into slumber. As she always does.
He rose and walked from her chamber. Closing the door lightly behind him.
Much to the shock and horror of Markus and Thomas. Who’d been sitting outside it. Playing cards by the light of several candles. Both of them leapt to their feet upon spotting him.
Markus openly stared jaw agape as Savage walked between them.
The cup of water slid from Thomas’ hand.
Savage caught it near his hip without sloshing a drop. Lifting it to plop it back in the boy’s hands. “She’s fine. She’s resting. Don’t bother her or I’ll kill you in your sleep.”
He walked out into the dumping rain and closed the front door behind him.
With them still staring at his back.