FULL NOVELXO Chapter Don't I Want Her?
“It shouldn’t.” She whispered. Eyes bewildered. “Do you not want me anymore?”
Yes! But it doesn’t mean I can have you…
“Ha!” He scoffed and looked Heavenward trying to get the strength to stop. Losing the fight, he lurched forward to catch her shoulders and draw her to him. “Every moment.” He growled. “You’ll always be the one consuming me.”
“Then what can possibly be wrong?” Her arched brows furrowed, and her bottom lip trembled.
Everything! Everything is wrong, Ri.
“Eventually you’ll have to seek a man that can sate all your needs.”
“You do!” Emotion was written over her face. “Alazareth I don’t understand what you’re saying but I’m very afraid of what it means.” She confided.
“There is nothing to fear.” He sighed. Letting her breathe as he retreated a step and caught her hand. Pulling her back into step with him. “Let us speak of lighter things.”
Please. This is too painful. I’m not accustomed to feeling all of this.
Her step drug. And her mind was in agony as she stared at the silver gilded grass along the road.
“Are we still going to town tomorrow?” She asked haltingly. Expression fearful.
Yes. I’ll take whatever time I have left with you.
His face softened. “Of course.”
The next morning came. Yet, felt not nearly quick enough. Alazar spent the night pacing the woods. Is she as afraid of staying apart as I am? He paced the edge of the Warwood worriedly. Trodding over the tree needles blanketing the ground at the border of the meadow.
No sound came from the castle, so he could only guess. Sorely tempted to creep into the bailey, and possibly the castle, to find out. What’s going on in there?
She entered the clearing and her eyes lifted from the ground to meet his and there was such sorrow there, he wished he’d not said a word yesterday.
All I wanted was to protect her. Never to cause her pain.
What have I done? I’ve gotten into this too deep. His chest felt tight.
“Alazar…”
He cleared his throat. “Come. I’ve something I wish to show you.”
The orphans.
They rounded the last row of stalls and were in view of the Bull’s Eye tavern.
At the end of the stalls the children, ranging from four to twelve, were crowded against the last stall as a windbreak. Their skinny bodies racked with shivering and eyes hollow as they watched the couple.
Riaura glanced from side to side but barely spared them a second glance.
Alazar blew out a long breath, his heart tight. Is that all the more note she’ll give her suffering people?
Where is that sweet girl I knew? She nearly drug him toward the tavern door. This is going to end badly.
“No…Too long…” She murmured thoughtfully. Inexplicably spinning on her heel, she rushed back to the Baker’s stand and asked for pastries.
Alazar sighed and shook her head. She’s thinking of snacks now?
The merchant handed over two fruit filled desserts.
Alazar took them reflexively. Confused when her voice rose harshly at the man.
“What? No, you fool.” She pointed to a basket laid on a napkin behind him. “I want that.”
He lifted the basket and brought it over. “How many do you want?”
“How much for the lot of them?” She paused thoughtfully eyes skimming the assortment laid out on the cloth. “And the basket?”
What is she doing? She can’t eat all that. He fought the tiny flutter of hope rising in him.
The small bearded man’s eyes turned greedy.
“Six coin.” She pulled the sack from her hip. As it rattled loudly. All eyes turned to her. She plucked three from within and handed them over.
The merchant eyed the bag greedily. Regretting not setting a higher price.
Too late. Alazar gave him a warning look.
She lifted the basket which was wider than she was.
“Mum!” The merchant called after her. “How about some cream to wash it down?” He lifted a tankard. “And perhaps some butter to lather your treat.”
She handed over more coin and tucked the extra goods into the basket.
Alazar watched her curiously.
She headed for him. “Would you help me?” She called as she paused between the last two stalls.
Yes…He joined her with a confused expression.