FULL NOVELXO Devoted: Chapter 34
THREE MONTHS LATER.
“Are you coming to the party tonight, Mom?” I brace myself for her wrath. She wasn’t exactly pleased with the wedding invitation.
“No.” Her tone is harsh.
She doesn’t look at me; she keeps reading the newspaper on the table.
I let out a sigh and drink my coffee while the clock ticks behind me. I know she’s hurting.
She’s always wanted me and Keller to find love, like she had with Dom, her late husband. He died before she started fostering me and Keller. From the stories, the love they shared was everything. That’s why she never moved on. Her heart only belongs to him.
After everything she’s done for us, I wanted to one day see her smile at my wedding. Give her grandbabies to dote over like she does with Max and Darcy.
She looks up at me, her eyes flashing with anger. “Of all the things you’ve done, son, this is the stupidest. I can tell just by that look on your face, you know it, too.”
A pain shoots through my chest as I see the disappointment on her face.
“Mom. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t have to.” I reach my hand out to hers and she pulls away.
“You always have a choice, Luca. Marriage isn’t about power. It’s about love. You might be the leader of the mafia, but to me, you’re still that scrawny young boy I took in off the street. I expect more from you. Family first. Always.”
“I am doing it for my family, Mom. I’m doing it to protect you all.” She doesn’t understand that Romano’s threat is very much real. I am doing this for them, my own happiness is a small sacrifice.
“You always do everything to protect everyone else. What about yourself? What about your own heart? Do you think I’m blind?” As if to prove her point, she takes off her reading glasses and lays them on the paper in front of her.
“W-what?” Being on the wrong end of her disappointment is not where I want to be.
“You have such a big heart, Luca. Wasted. I just want to see both of my boys happy. Your love lies with someone else, doesn’t it?”
She gives me an accusing look. She’s right. I pull out a cigarette and she slaps it out of my hand so hard it flies across the room.
“Ignore it all you want. It won’t go away. Once someone steals the beating of your heart, that’s it. You either fight for it or live a miserable life without her.”
Rubbing the back of my neck, I realize she’s got me there. I just wish I could fight for it. The house doesn’t even smell of her anymore. Most nights I toss and turn, wondering if she’s sleeping or if her nightmares are back. I even parked outside the house Frankie moved her and Eva into. I sat there for hours, in the pitch black. I couldn’t go in. Knowing I have to let her move on doesn’t mean I don’t fucking miss her with every fiber of my being.
My home doesn’t feel like one anymore.
I run a hand through my hair in frustration. “How did you know? Are you a witch?”
“Oh, Luca,” she chuckles. “I have eyes. That is all. You think I didn’t see the change in you with Rosa?”
We drink the rest of our coffee in silence, my mind spinning. All I can think about is dark hair twirling around my fingers, soft lips touching mine, and quivering thighs framing my ears. My heart is stuck on Rosa.
I stand and press a kiss to Mom’s forehead.
She clasps her hand over mine on her cheek. “You do whatever you have to. You always do. But I won’t have any part of this. I draw the line here. When you decide to marry Rosa, then I’ll be there.”
I nod and walk out of the kitchen. As I open the door, she wraps her hands around me and nuzzles her head into my back.
“Just because I’m angry doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Luca. You’ll always be my son, no matter how stupid your choices are. I’m just asking you to really think about what you want.”
I know exactly what I want, who I want.
“I love you, Mom. I wish it were that easy.”