Desire for you- ALPHA RYAN Book 1

Present

CATHERINE

It seemed like several hours since Azrael had disappeared. I sat there, alone, with a difficult decision to make.

It wasn't even easy to be allowed to die. It was a real challenge that I was given.

Just as Azrael disappeared, he reappeared and looked down at me.

"Your friends have fulfilled the part of the pact to bring you to life.... Now it's up to you whether you appreciate their effort and agree to come with me or be locked up in hell for eternity. The choice is yours..." He whispered the last sentence quietly and scowled at me.

"Pact?" I asked him, irritated. What did they have to do to bring me back to life?

Azrael nodded "Right, a pact. They had a mission that wasn't entirely clear to them... See for yourself." He said with a shrug and held out his hand to me.

I took it and had to swallow hard.

We were on land. I could see Ilay marking me "NO!" I suddenly shouted and went towards him to pull him away from me, but it was useless. "Why did he mark me?" I screamed at Azrael now, tears welling up in my eyes again. Ryan, he was the one who had to mark me, not a complete stranger.

"Be patient, Catherine. That hasn't been all so far." He finally said.

The scene continued and he showed me Ilay and Ryan, distraught by a bed. I was lying in it...

Ryan gave me a kiss on the forehead and the two of them disappeared into the next room. I followed them.

"A pure heart?" Ryan asked, unsure of Ilay, who nodded. They were discussing something and I still couldn't follow what it was actually about

The scene disappeared again and I found myself in a strip club with Azrael. I looked around with irritation and saw Ilay dancing with another woman. They were both dressed up and you would have thought they were on a date.

My heart beat faster and I felt a slight hint of anger inside me. Was that jealousy? No, I couldn't be jealous. After all, I didn't even know him and I didn't want to hear about companions.

He finally accompanied her out into the forest. Into the forest? What the hell did he want to take her to the forest for? That was not the typical place to take a woman.

"What does he want with her there?" I asked Azrael, irritated. Azrael shrugged his shoulders "See for yourself..."

Ilay walked with her to the cliff and I couldn't really hear the side conversations they were having.

The place where I jumped off... That was the place where I wanted to put an end to everything.

They stayed like that for a moment, talking. God knows what they were talking about. Their voices suddenly got louder and I was forced to listen to them again.

"You know... this place reminds me of a friend of mine... She's in a coma..." Ilay told her. The friend in the coma was probably me.

"Oh... I'm sorry about that..." the girl said, looking at Ilay sadly. She was a real beauty... She looked very classy and you'd think she was a model.

"She jumped down this cliff, she wanted to take her own life and now we are here watching the spectacle of nature. The irony of life..."

"That's really hard, Ilay... It must be bad for you." she replied, taking Ilay's hand.

"Yes, it's very bad. Especially as I'm helpless and all the money in the world can't save her... It's an eternal wait until she wakes up and gets better..." He bit his lower lip and looked into her eyes.

She suddenly came closer and closer to him and wanted to... kiss him.

My temper rose and I felt an insane rage in my chest. I didn't know why, but I felt the desire in my chest to grab her by her beautiful hair and push her off the cliff too.

Suddenly, however, the tide turned. He ripped her heart out...

I stood still in shock and watched the scene... He had killed her? Why had he killed her? She hadn't done anything wrong, had she?

"I'm so sorry, Julieth... I had to do this..." he breathed out and her body slumped to the ground.

Ryan came out of the bushes and looked at Ilay in shock as well.

"Damn... SHIT!" He shouted into the area, slamming his fist hard against a tree trunk.

"We had to do it..." Ilay replied, looking at the heart he held in his hands.

"That was the price they had to pay. Do you understand?" Azrael looked at me while tears ran down my face.

The situation disappeared again and we found ourselves in a monastery. There was another man with us "You are with the vampire king and ask to see Ragnol, the warlock." Azrael added, as if this was some kind of guided tour that took place in a museum.

I had to see everything. Even the way Dimitri ate the heart. I almost felt sick from everything I was seeing.

Azrael smiled weakly at me "Do you think that's all? There's more, Catherine."

"I can't take any more... Please Azrael. You have to stop this." I begged him desperately.

He shook his head slightly "I'm sorry, I have to show you all this on the orders of the Moon Goddess..." he explained to me.

I tried to pull myself together and took a deep breath. I was about to collapse.

The scene continued. Ryan and another man.

"Interesting... Having a demon and a werewolf as companions at the same time... No wonder, she tried to commit suicide." the man said, grinning at Ryan. That had to be Ragnol.

"If you're not tired of living, Alpha, then I suggest you get out of here fast... I can't help you any further..."

"Listen, we had to rip an innocent woman's heart out just so we could find you... Now here you are telling me you can't help us?" Ryan looked visibly distressed. His condition wasn't the best either, the last time I'd seen him this tired and strained was after the breakout from Arnor's prison...

"Nobody forced you to do this," Ragnol replied.

"Please Ragnol... You are our only solution, we can't get any further otherwise. You have to help us..." Ryan begged him, seriously hoping for an answer from the stubborn man. Ryan begging someone was something unusual, he must be really desperate.

"Think about it... The solution is right under your nose, Alpha. As an Alpha, surely you should be able to analyze such things? Your mate has two mates. One has marked her... and the other hasn't yet... Ding Dong. Ring any bells?"

My eyes widened at Ragnol's answer. He seriously meant that marking Ilay and Ryan was necessary to bring me back to life?

Azrael looked at me "Their marking and your consent. You become immortal through Ilay's life force and Ryan is the final piece of the puzzle to complete this."

"Immortal?" I croaked out, grabbing my hair.

Azrael nodded. "Yes, immortal..."

"Then what's going to happen to Ryan? I mean... He'll grow old one day and die..." I was distraught and if I didn't know any better, I'd start crying again.

Azrael smiled at me now. "Your bond, connects you and Ilay AND Ryan. It might not be funny for the two gentlemen. On the contrary, it'll turn into a pure dick comparison, but what's the point if everyone can be happy?" Azrael shrugged his shoulders and looked at me with amusement.

"I-I don't even know Ilay. What if I reject him?" I asked Azrael, looking for a way out.

"If you reject him, you won't be able to live. The whole thing would fall through. You can't reject either of them, Catherine. They complete you and you complete them..." Azrael bit his lower lip and the situation continued.

I caught sight of Ryan, who was holding my head in his hands and marking me. He finally did it... A joy welled up inside me and I wanted to hug him on the spot and tag him too.

"I'm glad you're happy about it, but you'll have to mark them both too..." Azrael added.

"Can you read my mind?" I asked him, confused.

He shook his head with a laugh "No, the joy in your eyes is capitalized." he said, shrugging his shoulders.

You two must mark... Oh goddess of the moon. What kind of gift was that?

"Why isn't Catherine waking up?" asked Ryan.

Ilay shrugged "Maybe she just needs a little time..." he finally said. They both looked at me worriedly.

"That time is over now, Catherine... I need an answer from you. You've seen that these two men are desperate to have you back in their lives.

Are you going to throw away all their effort, a pure heart... throw away? Or do you decide to accept this fate and pick up where you left off? I'll add: the other option is hell, where it will be even worse." Azrael exhaled and looked me in the eye.

I bit my lower lip.

Hell... "What would await me in hell?" I asked him quietly.

"That's a fair question. We can have a look in there too, but I hardly think it will last." he said and led me into hell.

We were surrounded by fire and flames. Dark fire that appeared blue. It was very hot in there and I was already sweating. I saw several people working hard, carrying several stones up and down a high mountain. "They are working for Lucifer. They are building him a palace and they are slaves. They are whipped and beaten. No one appreciates their work, which goes on forever..."

When he mentioned the whip, I recoiled "No... I don't want that." I croaked out immediately and we were back to nowhere.

Azrael looked at me with a smile "I'm glad Catherine that you've come to your senses. That was a clear answer for me." he said.

"W-wait! What's going to happen now?" I asked him, confused.

"I'm going to breathe your life back into you. Not just yours." he said and winked at me.

"Not just mine?" I asked him, confused.

He nodded slightly "Your mate Ryan.... He already suspects something. His hearing is apparently a lot better than Ilay's." Azrael said, shrugging his shoulders.

"I don't quite understand?" I said, now completely confused. What could Ryan know that I and Ilay didn't? Not just my life...

"Let yourself be surprised Catherine, because we're running out of time," he said, mumbling random words. He breathed on me and everything around us disappeared into thin air.

I felt my cells reassemble and regenerate. Pain that wasn't there before was now present. My whole body ached and I had the feeling that a wave of energy had taken hold of me and was now washing away all this pain.

I felt my heart beating again and became more and more conscious.

My breathing returned to normal and I had to take my first deep breath to fill my lungs. I carefully opened my eyes and the light from the windows illuminated the whole room so much that I had to squeeze my eyes shut again. I opened them again and focused my gaze on the ceiling. I was lying in a bed and I was under a four-poster bed of dark red silk.

I tried to move my hands but I felt like they were so stiff so I let it go again.

"You're awake..." Ryan's voice rang out. He rushed towards me and pulled me into his arms. He hugged me so tightly that my stiff body ached.

Ilay pulled him back "You're smothering her..." he said softly and looked at me.

My whole stomach tingled at the sight of him, those green eyes... as if I had butterflies in my stomach. I lowered my gaze and had to swallow hard.

"I'm sorry... I was just so happy to see you awake again," Ryan said, looking at me. He touched my cheek. "Are you okay?" he finally asked me. Was I okay? After everything I'd been through with Azrael? Not really.

I just lifted my shoulders slightly "I'd be lying if I said yes." I whispered softly and looked Ryan in the eye.

He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly again "I'm sorry it had to come to this Cate.... I-I should never have made that damn mistake. I just wanted to give you time to sort yourself out. Apparently that was a mistake." he breathed softly, glaring at me.

"It's not your fault..." I said and I looked over at Ilay again, unwillingly.

Ilay sat down next to me by the bed, it made me uncomfortable in a way. I had to swallow and buried my face in Ryan's chest. I didn't dare say a word to Ilay. I was afraid of hurting Ryan in any way. He was my companion and the end for me, even if I was marked by Ilay.