Dear Heart, You Screwed Me

Sitting at my desk, I drummed my fingers against the hardboard of my solid, black oak desk. I was distracted. Ever since Reese showed up and gave me a phenomenal blow job under it, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Everything about her is a temptation.

Adele had tried to call me numerous times throughout the week, but I didn’t have the energy to speak to her. The mood she put me in would only make me act and do something I would regret.

I had to keep level-headed regarding the business. I had to take my personal life out of this.

Should I have told Adele that me and Reese were married? No. I should have kept my mouth shut but she made me so angry. I don’t think my blood has ever boiled so bad.

My eyes flicked to the time on my computer monitor, it had just gone three. I was so ready to leave and go home.

I had Connie and Reese over tonight, I didn’t know if I would see much of Connie over Christmas so decided on an early dinner tonight. Connie was always hesitant about wanting to come over, but her knowing Reese will be there makes her decision a lot easier.

“Screw this,” I huffed, pushing off the desk and shutting my computer down. I grabbed my suit jacket and coat before walking out of my office.

“Ben, cancel my calls. I’m finished for the day.” I didn’t stop to hear if he said anything, I walked towards the elevator, shrugging my jacket and coat on before stepping into the snow.

My car was sitting kerbside, thanking Colin, I slipped in the back and let him drive me home. I felt tense. Work wasn’t bothering me. Yes, Adele had got under my skin, but I think it was more the fact that I had to fight the urge every minute of the day to stop myself from going to Reese. She was like a magnet. Constantly pulling me towards her.

We would never work. I couldn’t do that to Connie. I couldn’t be selfish, and if I pursued a relationship with Reese, it would be for selfish reasons.

I didn’t even want the annulment, but I couldn’t expect Reese to stay married to me just because deep down, I didn’t want to let her go. The papers were still sitting unsigned in my office, it would take merely a minute, yet I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I had this constant battle in my head. The voices from my head and my heart constantly arguing about it.

It would get easier; I knew it would.

I just had to be patient.

Walking into my apartment, I hung my coat and scarf up in the cloak room before heading to my bedroom. I needed a shower. The winter air was bitter.

Tugging my tie out of my shirt collar, I tossed it onto the bed. Unbuttoning and discarding the shirt on the floor, I stepped over it and pulled down my suit pants. Turning the shower dial, I slipped my jocks down and stepped into the hot water. It felt good against my tense skin, my muscles rippling as I lathered myself up then washed my hair. The smell of mint wafted through my nostrils, smiling as I rinsed it off.

I felt the bubbles of excitement surface in my stomach before they popped. I was excited to see Reese. I almost felt wrong for feeling the way I did, my stomach churned and coiled constantly at the thought of her being here but being unable to touch her because of Connie. I sometimes wish I could switch them off, but it wasn’t that simple was it. Because believe me, if I could, I would.

Drying myself off, I dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. I ramped the heating up to take the chill out of the apartment then slipped a couple of bottles of wine into the fridge. Padding back into the bathroom I brushed my teeth then styled my brown hair, messing it up and pushing it back away from my face. Running my hand over my chin, my stubble felt rough, but it wasn’t long enough to tame or style. I never intended on keeping it, but the sultry look and little lip bites from Reese when my stubble grazed across her sensitive skin made me want to keep it. So, it stayed.

Looking at myself in the mirror one last time, I walked into the lounge area. I felt restless, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I couldn’t relax. Walking towards the sound system, I turned on the music, Lionel Richie filled the room. Nice, mellow music. I paced the width of my penthouse, walking back and forth as I fought with my thoughts.

Stopping outside the kitchen, I checked on my housekeeper. She was cooking Connie’s favourite. Salmon, white rice and asparagus. It smelt amazing. She liked it with a lemon dressing, but it had to be on the side. She didn’t like it running into the other food on her plate. Then we had traditional New York cheesecake with raspberry ice-cream. All homemade, just not by me.

I had bought some cookies, Connie used to like to have them as a little snack while waiting for dinner while dipping them in milk. I also bought English tea, tea bags for Reese. I wasn’t that great at making tea, but I would give it a go for her. I even had my housekeeper buy an electric kettle. I have never used a kettle, if I wanted a flavoured tea, I would always warm my cup of water in the microwave, but after looking online it’s what Reese would use to make a tea.

Why was I so nervous? I rubbed my hand through my hair, the cool metal from my wedding band scraping across my scalp. My skin prickled in anticipation; my heart drummed at a steady beat but a little harder than normal.

Checking the time, it had just gone six pm. They would be here soon.

Pacing back and forth, my gaze alternated between the clock and the door to my penthouse. Running my hand through my hair and messing it up slightly, I stilled when I heard a knock on the door.

I strolled towards the noise, my fingers gripping the doorknob with my sweaty palm, my fingers locking firmly round it. As I twisted it, I plastered a smile on my face. Swinging the door open to see Reese standing there holding a bottle of wine and a card.

“Hey,” she beamed. Her smile lighting up the room instantly, her blonde hair was sitting in waves and cascaded down to her ribcage. Her green eyes glistened as they took me in, our gaze locking. My heart skipped a beat at the intense gaze we held with each other, my breath catching but I disguised it with a clear of my throat.

My eyes skimmed down her body as I looked at what she was wearing. Jeans and a v-neck loose tee. Simple. The tee plunged in deep, stopping just before her breast bone, revealing her glorious, tanned skin. She was petite and slender, I liked that she could wear tops like that without seeing her pert little tits spilling out.

My lips twitched with a smirk.

“Hey,” I breathed, stepping aside to let her in.

“This is for you; I didn’t know what wine you liked so I just grabbed my favourite,” she winced a little and shrugged her shoulders up as she placed the bottle and the card on the black side table.

A gentle laugh bubbled out of me.

“Thank you, but you didn’t have to get me anything,” I closed the door softly as I turned to watch her take her sneakers off, placing them neatly by the door.

Scoffing when I saw she had white, fluffy socks on. They looked like clouds and seemed to have little rainbows stitched into them.

Cute.

She turned to face me, giving me an awkward smile. She pushed her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, then licked her lips. Her chest pushing forward as silence fell over us.

Why was this so awkward?

“When do your parents land?” I asked as I reached for the wine and the card strolling towards the wine chiller.

“Day before Christmas Eve,” she sighed a little, “the snow doesn’t seem to be letting up and I am worried their flight will be grounded back home.”

“I am keeping everything crossed for you,” I offered her a weak smile as I put the wine away.

“I don’t know how it works here, but England comes to a complete standstill if there is even a flurry of snow, I mean if we had the same weather here as we did back home, England would go into meltdown.” She laughed as her fingers drummed on the worktop

I laughed with her, my eyes down casting to my wrist. Where the bloody hell was Connie!?

Being this close to her and having to stay away is torture. All I want to do is take her in my arms, inhale her scent then take her plump lips between my teeth before grazing my teeth over her jaw line before dragging my lips back to hers and kissing her.

“Have you heard from Connie?” I asked as I stepped forward towards the centre island.

“Yeah, she said she was running a little late,” I saw her eyes widen slightly, “should I have waited? I’m sorry, I’ll go and come back. I didn’t even think,” she began to ramble, her hands flying around as she spoke. Biting the inside of my lip hard, I tried to stop my laugh.

“It just gets lonely on your own…” her voice fell for a moment, her eyes found mine.

“Yeah…” I nodded; I knew exactly what she meant. The evenings are long when you’re home alone every day.

The silence fell between us, the tension crackling in the air that surrounded us.

Her breath caught in the back of her throat, her chest rising a little faster now. If you looked close enough, you could see her heart beating through her skin.

“Do you want a tour?” I asked her, I had to keep moving. I had to try and put some physical distance between us.

“Sure,” her voice was high pitched, and deep down I think she was grateful too.

Pressing my lips into a thin line, I rushed past her to try and soften the gravitating pull that I felt every time I was close to her.

She followed a few steps behind, keeping her head low as she walked.

“So, you know the seating area…” I smirked, holding my hand out. She smiled back at me before I continued. I walked towards the bathroom that overlooked the city, a gasp passing her lips as she took in the views.

“How do you ever leave?” she asked.

“Believe it or not, you do get used to it and before you know it, it’s just another room in the apartment with a view.” I shrugged my shoulders up, my tone flat and dull. It was the truth. Yes, my apartment penthouse was made of dreams, but at the end of the day, what’s the point in all of this when you can’t have the person you want to share it with.

I quickly escaped my head before turning on my heel and heading towards the stairs, my hand glided up the handrail, I heard Reese’s soft footsteps hitting the oak stairs behind me.

“Okay so up here we have three bedrooms, three bathrooms and one of the bedrooms has an en-suite.” I turned, rubbing my hands together as I walked backwards.

“You missed three rooms downstairs,” she pointed out, looking over the glass that was the stair rail.

“Don’t be impatient, I’ll show you them next,” I rolled my eyes in a playful manner.

“Erm, sorry…” I heard her quip as she stepped in front of me, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Can I help you?” I smirked; I knew where she was going with this, but I loved teasing her. She always made me want to be in a playful mood. I liked who I was with her. She made me forgot the grump I was before her.

“You rolled your eyes…” she tapped her fluffy covered foot on the floor beneath her.

“And?”

“Well, you always threaten me… so… I’m going to threaten you,” I saw a hint of a smile play across her lips before she went back to pouting.

“Go on then, Buttercup,” I licked my top lip slowly as I held her steady gaze.

“Roll your eyes at me again, I’ll bring you to your knees.”

“To do what?” I stepped towards her, the air crackling loud between us, the tension thick.

“I’ll let you know,” she winked, shoving me away as she walked past. “Come on then husband, show me your room.” She twisted round and smiled at me before hovering outside the closed doors, “Again.”

My cock hardened at the thought of our last night in my room. It was delicious, amazing, earth shattering.

After a quick whizz round of the upstairs, we headed back downstairs. I padded to the first closed door, opening it quickly to show a gym area. It had all the equipment you could ever need.

“Huh,” she scoffed, “didn’t have you for the work out type of guy,” she said lightly as she popped her head round the door before nudging me. “Next.” She called out.

Oh, she was in a playful mood too by the looks of it.

The next room was a library, floor to ceiling bookshelves filled with every single book you could think of.

“Wow,” she whispered, stepping into the room and looking around it in awe. “You like to read?” she asked.

“I do,” I nodded.

“I don’t have much time at the moment,” she stopped suddenly as if the words choked her. She spun to look at me, lifting her shoulders up slightly. “Well, I suppose now I do… seeing as I don’t have a job anymore.”

I felt myself tense. I needed to sort it with Adele, it wasn’t on.

“You will have a job, whether it is with me, back at Lordes or with Connie…” I stepped towards her, pressing my forehead against hers as my hands automatically wrapped round her slender frame, “I promise.” The words left my lips in a whisper. Her wide eyes found mine, the hint of a glisten that ran through them made my heart hurt. I hated that she was sad, I hated that she was hurting, and I hated it even more that I couldn’t do anything to stop her feeling that way.

She simply nodded, her hands pressing against my chest like she did before, but this time she left them there for a moment before her head dropped. A deep sigh left her and then she pushed herself off me and headed for the door.

I stood, my back to her as I tried to calm my racing heart.

“You coming? There is still one more room…” her sweet voice echoed round me.

“Sure,” I spun, pinning the smile back on my face and following her out.

Opening the last door, she smiled as she stepped in. My office.

The desk was mahogany, the room a deep biscuit beige colour. I had shelves stacked against the wall, but they were filled with a different kind of books to the library. They were self-care and self-help books that have helped me grow over the last few years.

She stepped towards the desk, her fingers skimming across it.

The chair that sat behind was a deep, cherry red leather. Not quite sure why I chose that, just liked it if I was being honest with myself.

The room smelt of leather and polish, the soft scents floating through the room.

To the left of the desk was a gold globe, but it wasn’t just a globe.

“Open the globe,” I said softly as Reese stopped by it. She looked over her shoulder at me before turning her attention to the globe. Her fingers skimmed across the high gloss coldness before undoing a catch at the side. Using both her hands she opened it gently to see two crystal tumblers and an etched crystal whiskey decanter.

“Typical businessman…” she teased as she reached for the glasses and placed them on my desk. Next, she reached for the decanter, the lid pop echoing round the room as she poured out.

She placed the decanter back into the globe and grabbed both glass tumblers. I stepped towards her, taking one off her and holding it up.

“Typical businessman?” I repeated her last words stalking towards her.

“They always have to have a decanter of whiskey in their office.”

I tsked, rolling my eyes as I let out a deep laugh that rumbled through me.

My laughter soon stopped when I realised what I had just done.

I had just rolled my fucking eyes.

Reese was looking all smug as she rested her pert little ass on the edge of my desk. She looked good there. One of her arms pressed against her chest, her legs crossed over each other as she put all of her weight on the desk.

“Tut tut,” she said, her eyes looking at the deep amber liquid in the bottom of her glass, bringing it to her lips and taking a mouthful. I watched intently for the wince, but it didn’t come.

I mirrored her, bringing my own glass to my lips all the while keeping my eyes on her as I knocked the burning liquid back in one. I let my arm fall to my side, my finger tapping on the now, empty glass.

“What a waste, surely bourbon this good needs to be savoured… enjoyed…” she licked her lips, her eyes finally meeting with mine and I swear I felt the fucking ground move beneath me. I stepped towards her, my body pressing against hers as I placed the glass on the desk behind her.

She took another mouthful, trying to put on a show to try and convince me she wasn’t affected by me.

But I could see right through her bullshit.

Picking the glass from her hand, I finished hers and slammed it on the desk behind her a little harder this time which caused her to flinch.

I could hear her quivering breath; her eyes didn’t move from mine as I gazed at her. My hands wrapped around her hips as I pushed myself onto her. Our bodies flush.

“Killian,” she whispered, her fingers wrapping round the edge of the desk behind her as she steadied herself.

“Yes, wife,” I whispered back as my fingers trailed along the waist band of her jeans and stopped at her buttons. Popping the button out, I hooked my fingers on the inside of her waist band and tugged them down her thighs in one swift move.

Her breath caught at the back of her throat as I sunk to my knees in front of her.

“Is this what you meant when you said I would fall to my knees?” I asked, my lips pressing against the soft skin of her thighs, the waft of her scent rushing through me. I dragged my lips across her sensitive skin before stopping at the apex of her thighs. Pressing my lips at the thin, silk material, I licked and nipped her through them. Her breath shook.

“Killian,” she breathed; her head dropped forward as she looked down at me.

“Tell me, Buttercup… is this what you wanted?” I ask, my fingers slipping into the side of her panties, curled round and ready to pull to the side.

She didn’t answer, her fingers tightened around the edge of the desk. I could see the wetness pooling on the white, silk material. I let my fingers brush gently over the front of her bare pussy, causing a small moan to escape her.

“Brat… tell me,” I groaned as I edged my mouth to her panties, nipping at the material and grazing her skin with my teeth.

“Yes,” she finally breathed out.

“Good girl.” Looking up at her, I pulled her panties to the side and my mouth was on her. Two of my fingers spread her pussy lips open, giving me better access to her clit. She hung her leg over my shoulder, edging herself a little further back on the desk.

“This has got to be quick, Buttercup,” I groaned, sucking on her clit then letting my tongue glide up and down her folds. Swirling my tongue at her opening, I dragged my tongue slowly up to her clit. Circling her nub gently, my spare hand skimmed up the inside of her thigh as I pressed my fingertip at her opening. Bucking her hips forward she moaned, her fingers tightening.

“Yes, please,” she panted as I teased her. Smiling against her sensitive skin, I pushed two fingers inside of her with ease. Her greedy little cunt stretching as I pumped them in and out of her. My tongue swirled and sucked on her clit as her sweet moans filled the room.

“You taste so fucking good,” I lift my lips from her, licking her arousal from my mouth. “I am addicted to your taste, I’m addicted to you,” I groan, my eyes falling to watch my thick fingers fuck her tight little pussy. Slipping them out slowly, I pause just at the tip. Her pussy clenches my fingers. I do it again, my own breath shaky as I watch.

“Oh,” she cries out.

I slip my fingers out hastily, wrap my hand round her throat and push her back onto the desk so she is sitting on it completely. Falling back to my knees, I push both of her legs up onto the edge of the desk.

“Hold them there,” I demand, my eyes falling to her glistening cunt.

Rubbing her clit fast with my fingers then gliding them between her folds before pushing them deep inside of her.

“Now watch me brat, watch me finger fuck your pussy,” I groan, my eyes lifting to her for a moment to make sure she does what I asked.

“You’re such a good little girl,” I praise her as she pants. Her eyes watch as I pull my fingers out to the tip, holding then pushing in. My eyes darken as I hover my spare hand over her pussy and slap her clit, hard.

“Fuck,” she whispers as I do it again.

I am so turned on; I would do anything to fuck her, but I can’t. I palm myself through my jeans while I watch. I feel the burn inside me, the need to erupt and explode so I stop. My hand moves to grip the inside of her thigh, my fingers digging into her skin as I move my mouth over her clit. Licking and sucking hard I bite her causing her to scream.

My fingers are soaked, coated in the only honey I ever want to taste in this lifetime. I press a third at her opening, worried it will be too much but her greedy cunt takes me with ease. Slipping my fingers back and forth faster now, giving her the friction and speed she needs. Her hips thrust forward as her pussy rides my fingers, my tongue is buried deep inside of her cunt as I eat her.

“Killian,” she moans, her head tipping back.

“Dad?” We hear Connie’s voice echo through the apartment as the front door shuts. Reese freezes, trying to get away from me but I don’t let her. Instead, I move my hand from her thigh to her waist and hold her their tightly, digging my fingers into her skin.

“You’re going to come all over my fingers like the good girl you are, do you understand me?” My voice is low so only she can hear.

She nods.

“There’s my good girl.”

My fingers pump in and out of her with ease as I tease my ring finger at her tight little asshole. She likes it, she just won’t admit it just yet.

My tongue still works on her clit as I press my finger into her, her whole body tightening and clenching as I do.

“Let me in,” I whisper, “relax baby.”

And she does, my tongue sucking her clit softly now as I fuck her with my fingers.

“Oh fuck” she calls out, her eyes moving from me to the door.

“Dad?” Connie calls again.

“She’s going to find us,” she whispers.

“Shhh,” I soothe her before taking her clit between my teeth. Slowing my fingers inside of her, I slip them out to the tip, holding them there while my ring finger is still buried in her tight ass. My tongue glides over her clit slowly as I suck and nibble it.

I feel her pussy clench, her hips moving involuntary to try and get the fullness she needs from me. Her breaths fall short but fast as her chest heaves, her head rolls forward as she watches me work her to her orgasm.

“Dad? Reese? Where are you?” Connie calls out, her voice getting louder as we hear the impending footsteps.

And that’s all it takes. The fear of being caught.

I push my fingers into her soaked cunt fast and hard as she comes hard, my hand slamming over her mouth to stop the screams leaving her as she rides out her orgasm.

I smirk, slowing my fingers and slipping them out before sucking them clean. I push to my feet quickly, lean in and kiss Reese on the forehead and whisper, “Such a good girl for your husband.”

I step back and walk for the door, leaving Reese to compose herself.

“Hey, Connie darling… I’m here.” I shouted out, closing the study door just before Connie reached it.

“Hey dad, sorry I’m late. Where is Reese?”

“Just on the phone to her parents,” I lied, but Connie bought it.

We stepped away towards the kitchen where I poured three glasses of wine. The taste of her was still on my tongue, her scent still on my fingers. I loved the rush she gave me; and tonight only confirmed what I already knew.

I wasn’t ready to give her up yet.