Aynsefian

The ground flattens out again. A bit further on, there’s another large rock. I don’t want to stop moving, but we have to rest again. I can tell that the Purlinians will drop anyway if we don’t. Salvation says we have four-point-two-seven kilometres to go. The end is so close. Yet we must rest.

Exhaustion has set in again. The Purlinians lay down once more. It’s only early in the day. We can’t sleep here! I engage them again. Cindlyss regards me with the strangest of looks. Like they know it will all be okay. They look completely spent though, as if they’ve reach the end of their rope and can go no further.

What did that look mean then? I still can’t ask them as the wind is too loud and their suit masks are in the way. We are, all three of us, very near death. I know this. So how do they know we’ll be okay? Is that what they mean? We’ll die and it’ll be okay because the suffering will end?

I try to rouse them to their feet. Stopping was a very bad idea. We should have pushed on while we were upright.

Our vials of water are all empty. I have nothing left to use as an incentive. Instead, I try yelling at them. I hate doing it because they are such gentle creatures. I feel like it’s my only option.

“Come on! Come ON!!” I scream, through the wind.

This startles them. It works. They slowly rise to their feet with my help. I point at Salvation’s readout. I’m trying to communicate that we’re almost there.

I glance around. This section of the planet is a bit strange. The rocks are bigger here. There are fewer and smaller rocks on the ground than before and walking is easier in that respect. The larger rocks are now obstacles that Salvation has to detour around. We follow him blindly, as we always have.

I look back at Arlyss and Cindlyss, who are still on their feet. They look exceedingly shaky. I walk over to them and put one arm each over my shoulders. I will half carry them the rest of the way if I have to. I am desperate to complete this journey.

So, we shuffle. And we shuffle some more. Salvation’s readout is getting harder and harder for me to discern. Exhaustion is affecting my vision. I can barely make him out, let alone his readout. I squint and I think there’s a two as his first number. Then a bit later, as I’m almost dragging Arlyss and Cindlyss with me, I think maybe it’s a one. Surely I’m not dreaming now. We can’t be that close, can we? Why am I not seeing anything that looks like water if we’re less than two kilometres away? The air is still freezing and the wind still howls as much as it always has.

Then it all changes after we round the biggest boulder yet. I see the possible end of our harrowing journey off in the distance, about three hundred metres away. I let go of the Purlinians and they drop to the ground. I should not have let that happen. They might be hurt. I’m too tired to get down to the ground level to even check on them. I’ll have to leave them there because the end of our journey is very close. I must get to it myself and then come back for them. My gaze now is fixated on what is ahead. It’s not water, but it’s something different. I may be hallucinating, but logic tells me I’m not.

In front of me is a steep, pointed peak that stands out from the surrounding terrain, jutting darkly against the cold grey skies of this planet. That’s not what has grabbed my attention, however. It’s a dark spot to the left of the centre of this peak, at ground level. It’s a dark spot that Salvation is heading directly for.

It’s the entrance of a cave.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

From the IR84U Captain’s Log, found on the body of Capt. Zarasena Fen, in the wreckage of MGC Ship IR84U on Farrister (Endyst planet 3), MGC date 3041.87.2.21. Edited by Myronelli Tschadze of Wyrissa (Unbrindo planet 7), MGC investigator.

Entry #: 55

Date: 3041.87.2.7

Jinekali is angry with me. With ME! He thinks I’ve lost my mind and am liable to go off the rails at any moment! He’s the one who’s lost his mind. Far out, those guys will be the death of me. I’m not tolerating any more of their bullshit. This is just about the last straw. If I have to, I’ll take the ultimate step. I really will. I have the authority. I don’t give a fuck that Anathusa was once a captain. She’s not a captain now. If it wasn’t for 84U counselling me otherwise, I would have done it already. I’m SO pissed off right now!

Entry #: 56

Date: 3041.87.2.7

I’ve told them this is the last warning. The VERY last. Another combined outburst like that one earlier, questioning MY judgment, and I *will* banish them. I can do that. I’m the captain.

They are insinuating, INSINUATING, that I have lied about our location. They think we’re in the Hynetherine galaxy and not in Melcheisa. We’re not going to Hynetherine for a few more days yet. I’m awaiting diplomatic clearance.

Anyway, how can I possibly lie about where we are? One look at 84U’s navigation screen confirms where we are. So they’re saying a ship of the IR line has false data? How can that be possible? It never happens. Do they really think I’m that dumb?

I actually am not angry anymore. I think it’s hilarious now – their stupidity, that is. My loyalty to the MGC is unquestioned. My ability to captain the IR84U has been long tried and tested under the strongest of training environments. Actually, that has nothing to do with what they’re saying. It comes down to them claiming that 84U is somehow faulty. And they’re saying that his faultiness is… my fault. Hah!

Okay then, I’ll bring him in for a service next time we’re back at the control centre on Sylla. We’ll see what’s what then, eh? Yeah, when the service shows there’s nothing wrong with 84U and therefore I was right. They’ll look pretty foolish then, won’t they? If they even make it that far, that is.

I swear, if I have to, I’ll take them out. I’m not putting up with their abuse any longer.

[Entries skipped due to non-relevance to the investigation]

Entry #: 61

Date: 3041.87.2.8

All is calm now. I think they got the message. Lucky for them.

In the last day or so, I’ve been thinking about why I’m doing this. This job, that is.

Thank you, Lanemu. He just brought me a nice cocktail. He smiles each time he does so. What a perfect little servant he is. Oh yum, that’s so nice and tropical. I love that one. Thanks, mate! You’ve outdone yourself.

He’s a strange looking little humanoid. Thin wispy brown hair, smallish eyes and a funny walk. He’s a curiosity, that one. I like him, though. He’s pleasant company. Not many Aroventians in the world. There should be more if they’re all like him.

Now, where was I?

Oh yes. Why I’m here, in the backwaters of Melcheisa. I’ve had lots of time in the last day or three to think about that. I often wonder why I signed on for this so many years ago. I used to think it was a romantic, special thing to do. Patrolling the galaxy, searching the Far Reaches for miscreants and seeing new places. I would be considered to be a wonderful person and would feel important if I did this work.

That is a lie. It isn’t a lie I was told during recruiting. It was a lie I told myself. I just wonder how many lies I’ve actually told myself over the years. Believing things I shouldn’t believe. Kidding myself that I’m doing the best thing ever.

Actually it’s not even that. My life has been a series of flawed decisions. Decisions made with some vague end goal of happiness, without really understanding what I needed at the deepest level. I still don’t truly know what I need. I still don’t know what I truly want. Are they the same thing? Does it matter? The last several years I’ve been following what I thought was my dream career, and now that I’m in it, is it really that great?

Nope. Not at all. I don’t even care anymore. I’m not sure I ever did. Where is the love I was supposed to get for doing this? Where’s the parade and fanfare when I get home each time? I thought there’d be all sorts of accolades for being all the way out here, essentially alone, and doing this work. If you can call it that. There’s no accolades. No joy.

I don’t care anymore. I’ll say it over and over if I have to.

84U is worried about me. I know he’ll read this because that’s what he’s programmed to do. I’m okay, mate! Don’t worry about me. I’m just disillusioned about all of this. About my life. I miss my brother… I… I can’t. Sorry. Enough for now.

Entry #: 62

Date: 3041.87.2.8

I’m taking a hiatus. From everything. Anathusa is going to run the ship for a while. It’s a joke, really. 84U runs himself. We’re just along for the ride.

Anyway, fuck it, I’m checking out. Later, y’all. I’m going to hibernate with some reading material in the scout ship, where it’s quiet and I can be reclusive. I’ll come back when I feel better. I’m also taking Lanemu with me.

I don’t care who reads this. I really don’t. Fuck you MGC. Let’s see if THAT gets noticed.

Entry #: 63

Date: 3041.87.2.8

Nope, it didn’t. Ha ha. So funny. No-one cares.