Aynsefian

His end goal, the moisture that he found, is still more than half a kilometre away. One blessed realisation crosses my frazzled consciousness: there’s no wind in this cave. For the first time in three days, I am not being buffeted by the wind. I have half a thought to go back and get Arlyss and Cindlyss, to bring them here inside, out of the wind.

That won’t be helpful. I’ll have walked another kilometre or so out there and back and tire myself further if I do that. They are wearing the suits. They’ll be protected thermally until I can get water back to them, assuming I find it. The vials jingle gently inside the bag as I walk, as if reminding me that I need to fill them.

All in good time! Don’t be impatient with me. I’m working on it. Come on you vials, have some decency. You have to let a man manage his near-death struggle in his own way. Consideration would be appreciated, yeah?

Then: what’s that sound? Surely not. It can’t be, can it? I’ve been having dreams and visions lately and surely this is just another one. The sound is unmistakeable, though.

Running water.

Salvation was right. He is the greatest invention in the known universe. That little, brilliant piece of technology has literally saved my life. At least in the short term. I can feel tears well in my eyes at the relief of it all. I’m not sure how I’m producing moisture of any sort, given my severe dehydration, but I am. Salvation’s achievement in getting me here has almost overwhelmed me.

I love him more than I’ve ever loved anything before, including my Nikse. Okay wait on that, I’m re-evaluating my relationship with her, after the fact. But oh wow, Salvation, you are amazing. That name is not nearly good enough for you. I love you, I love you, and I love you. You beautiful thing!

We have found water. I can’t yet see it but I can hear it. With no wind, the sound is carrying to me from beyond where Salvation currently is, about twenty metres ahead of me. I trudge forward after him, feeling excitement for the first time on this damn planet.

I glance around as I shuffle. The ache in my legs becomes strong in my awareness for a moment. The next sensation is having improved vision again, enabling me to see the cave with more clarity. I even look back towards the entrance for a moment, to get a better idea of what this cave looks like. It’s amazing what the power of positive thinking is doing to my vision, my senses. I can see everything around me now.

Nikse could easily have flown in here, with room to spare. It’s quite huge. The ceiling of the cave is a good fifty metres high, maybe more. My still-blurred senses are probably miscalculating a bit. Nonetheless, I’m certain she could easily have flown in here if she was working. And not dead.

I’m not going to feel sadness. I’m not! I will change my thinking.

The interior of this cave is noticeably different to the planetary surface. The cave floor is sandy and quite easy to walk on. There are some rocks strewn around here and there but there’s not nearly as much as there are outside, on the planetary surface. It feels nice in here. It feels safer. That’s the first time I have been able to think that. I had previously thought that the whole planet was just awful, everywhere, with no ceasing in its awfulness. I’m wrong, it seems.

There’s something else, too. Salvation’s light is backlit. There is a faint but detectable light making its presence gradually felt, from deeper in the cave. I may be imagining it, but I think not. I wonder what it is. There’s no way to tell, yet.

I think the walls of the cave are widening even further now. I am also gradually going downhill in the process of shuffling towards Salvation’s Creek. That’s what I’ll call it from now on. It’s his creek. He found it. He should get the naming rights. I like that I just named something. It’s a first.

Salvation’s readout says zero-point-three-five-one kilometres. I still can’t see the water, but I can hear it even more clearly now.

I keep shuffling. Then, a bit further along, I see it.

I see the flowing water.

It looks glorious. It is surrounded by some strange looking moss, in different hues of blues and greens. It is emanating from a fissure in the right-hand wall of the cave. It appears to be moving down the gentle slope and further into the cave.

I don’t care about that now. I just want to drink and drink until I can take no more. I don’t care how it tastes or if it’s poisonous. If it’s undrinkable, I’m going to die anyway.

My whole life now hinges on the potability of this water. It feels like a fifty-fifty chance. It’s drinkable, I live. It isn’t, I die in horrible pain, perhaps, from some poisonous infection.

Ah, whatever. I’ll take that chance.

Salvation stops at the water’s edge and gives a triumphant little jingle that I just adore. He’s found his moisture! I love him even more. If that’s possible.

I want to hug him and hug him, but I must drink first. I must.

I literally race to the edge of the little stream and fall to my knees. I remove my gloves and cup my hands, my dirty, disgusting, cold hands, and gather some water. The moment of truth is here. I drink my first mouthful.

It’s sweet. It’s gloriously sweet. I’m going to live.

I’m going to save the Purlinians too and make it home somehow. I don’t want to use my dirty hands anymore so I put my face down until my lips touch the water. I drink and drink and drink. I’ve never experienced such a feeling of utter joy and relief as I’m experiencing right now. The water flows into me and I can feel hope and destiny filling my soul as the water fills my stomach. I’m going to live!

I still have a long way to go and I’m still super hungry and desperately tired, but now I know I’m going to live.

A thousand thoughts cross my mind while I drink.

So I’m going to live again. Did I mean what I said earlier about changing my life and disavowing my former attachment to my ship’s AI? I do. What about my desire to go home and give up this life of exploring galaxies? Yes absolutely. It nearly killed me. It may yet do if I can’t find food. At least with water and shelter now, I’ll live for at least a few more days.

What about my desire to get revenge for Nikse and against the MGC? Am I still keen on doing that? No, not really. I feel as if that is wasted energy. I can excuse them to some degree. Obviously their policy is way, way, wrong, but I’m not going to dedicate my life to extracting revenge for my plight. That’s a hollow pursuit.

I will change my attitudes on all of this. I will go home and start a new life. We will go…

Oh my god. I must get back to the Purlinians.