Chapter 31
Gideon watched, with a glass of wine in his hand, as the sun rose on a new day in the holographic video running in front of him. The glowing infusion of colors that painted the sky gave him hope that one day all this would be behind him.
Built into the ceiling of his apartment, azure blue panels lit up the room giving the illusion of daylight. It had been years since he had last seen daylight. The fallout from the Toba catastrophe had filled the atmosphere with tons of fine dust particles and the internal clock of every human trapped on the surface went haywire. It was essential that not all citizens of the pyramid were deprived of the 24-hour circadian cycle of day and night and blue light was most effective, even briefly, to perk up the human brain and provide a sense of day and night.
Then there was Callum.
Such confidence. Heroic. A surprise. The attraction grew every day. At times Gideon wanted to grab hold of him, kiss him until his lips were swollen and wet. Chins red and chafed from grinding together.
He undressed him in his mind, found his body irresistible, his powerful arms embracing, holding him tight and safe. However, it would never happen.
Not after berating him for going against the rules.
He crouched onto his haunches and hung his head. How he missed being touched by love. It seemed as if he had been alone forever. So many years. Not many opportunities. No matter how bold a leader he was, he couldn’t bring himself to make the first move with Callum. Come the day Callum gets swooped up by someone else in the facility, that will be the day Gideon would regret forever, but so be it.
Affection was a sign of weakness. If he loved someone, it would make him less of a leader and more of a social lieutenant.
He needed to curb his feelings.
He needed to be hard on Callum.
As much as it offended him to think this way, it had to be.
On the other hand, maybe he just didn’t know how to love.
Maybe he was incapable of love.
Not so. He wouldn’t be thinking about Callum this way if he were incapable.
He threw the glass of wine onto the floor and it shattered, glass swimming in the spilled liquid.
He punched the air because he knew how conflicted he was. As much as he felt the need to suppress his feelings for Callum, he wanted him so much.
He just didn’t know where to start.
“Elaine.”
“Yes, Commander.”
“Tango.”