Zodiac Academy 5: Cursed Fates

I’d always hated getting up early but recently, sleeping in just hadn’t felt all that relaxing. In fact, laying in my bed with the shadows coiling around me and my fractured heart bleeding all over the crisp white sheets had become pretty unbearable. Which had led me to start a new routine. One which I was actually okay with. After a night spent tossing and turning and fighting off the shadows (or dipping into them for a while, which happened more often than not these days) I got out of bed, threw on my running gear, and just ran.

There was a beautiful simplicity in that. And something about getting out into the cold, crisp morning air and seeing the academy as it was waking up helped me to centre myself.

So as I jogged down the stairs in Ignis house and pushed the door open, I drew in a deep breath of winter air and let it push the shadows back away from the corners of my mind with a smile. It was six in the morning – a time I had never been familiar with before now, but a time I was starting to like. At least a little.

I started up a quick stretch routine and flinched as I suddenly spotted Darius leaning against the wall to the side of the door. He was wearing sweatpants and a thin hoody with the sleeves cut off, his muscular arms drawing my gaze for a long moment as his dark eyes swept over me too.

He didn’t say anything and neither did I. But as I took off up the path for my run, he started running too.

I took my usual route through Fire Territory, circling around towards Water on the main path and his footsteps stayed behind me as he followed. Not too close. Not enough to anger the stars. And there were enough other people up exercising or heading to the library or giving their Order Forms a stretch that we weren’t really alone. But something about him following me made my heart pound for a whole other reason than the run.

I upped my pace as my route took me through the rock pools which made up the Shimmering Springs, my cheeks flushing a little as I remembered how hot the passion between us had burned when we’d come together in this place. Maybe I should have realised then that the way I’d felt about him was something more than just lust and hatred tangling together. But even if I had, I guessed it wouldn’t have changed anything. Though a guilty part of me did wonder if things would have been different if I hadn’t pushed him away from me here. If I hadn’t lied and told him it meant nothing to me…

I continued my run all the way out and around campus, passing through every Territory while Darius’s footsteps hounded me the whole way. My skin prickled, my blood heated and I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking, even though I never turned to acknowledge him at all.

I finally ran down the path through The Wailing Wood back towards The Orb with Dua Lipa’s Physical pounding in my ears and my pulse thrumming to a heady tune. A flock of Harpies were circling above the enormous golden dome, replenishing their magic with the sunrise and I couldn’t help but ache to go flying myself.

I upped my speed as I ran straight for the doors to the huge building and dropped forward with my hands on my knees as I took a moment to catch my breath.

When I looked up, I found Darius there, his hoody off and tattoos shining faintly on his sweat slicked skin as the hint of a smile played around his mouth. I may or may not have pushed myself really damn hard so that he had to work to keep up with me. And he was panting at least as hard as I was so that was something.

The door was thrown open as a herd of Pegasuses burst through it, giggling together about going for a fly in the clouds. Darius caught it before it could swing shut and held it for me so that I could head inside first. I gave him a tentative smile before slipping in and grabbing myself some toast and a bowl of fruit to have for breakfast.

I headed over to a table in the corner to drop my food off before turning back to get my coffee, but Darius appeared again before I could take a step.

My heart leapt as he placed a steaming mug of coffee down on my table, standing close enough for me to catch the mixture of smoke, cedar and sweat on his skin. I was momentarily transported back to the throne room with his hands all over me and my lips pressed to his and by the time I’d blinked the lust away, he was gone.

I watched in confusion as he grabbed a coffee and a breakfast burrito to go then headed straight out of The Orb without looking back again.

I blew out a breath as the excited energy which danced along my flesh finally began to settle and used water magic to clean the sweat from my skin before sitting back in my chair to eat.

Well, that was…weird.

I was so lost in thoughts of peculiar Dragon shifters that I didn’t notice Caleb approaching until he’d dropped down into the chair opposite me.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” he said with an easy smile as he tossed an arm over the back of the chair and dominated my space. But not in a threatening way, more like his aura was just so big that he couldn’t help it. All of the Heirs were like that more often than not and I found that I didn’t really mind it so much these days.

“You’re talking to me now then?” I asked casually, but inside I was cringing.

I took a bite out of my toast to distract myself from the warring feelings taking hold of me.

“Mmm, well I was never not talking to you. I was just trying to be considerate of Darius’s feelings,” he said, leaning forward to steal a slice of my toast and I scowled at him. I mean, seriously, don’t come between a girl and her breakfast. “But then he said something to me last night which made me reconsider.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked.

“Yeah…he, uh, suggested in a roundabout way that he accepted the two of us hooking up. As in, he doesn’t blame us, or even the stars for it.”

“And how do you feel about that?” I asked as a prickle raced down the back of my neck.

Darius had said that I should continue hooking up with Caleb if it made me feel happy, but that was just it. It didn’t. I liked Caleb and he was one hell of a lay but after we’d been together that night, all I could think about was Darius. And even though the two of us weren’t together, had never been together, I’d felt guilty for falling back into Caleb’s arms.

“Well, if I’m being totally honest, I think it’s a sack of shit. Darius hated us being together from the very first time we hooked up. And I guess I just wasn’t paying enough attention to realise that it went beyond some stupid rivalry thing or jealousy over me bagging the hottest girl on campus before he could. He’s not exactly easy to read at the best of times… Anyway, I’m getting off point.”

“And what is your point?” I asked as I finished my slice of toast and picked up my bowl of fruit.

“That I fucked up. We fucked up. You were never meant for me, sweetheart.” He gave me one of his winning smiles, but the tightness around his eyes said he wasn’t as relaxed about that as he was claiming to be.

I sighed, swallowing a strawberry before I replied. “No. I was meant for a man who tormented and worked to destroy me instead. Fate just seems to like shitting on me.”

“I’m not saying I regret it,” Caleb said slowly. “At least not most of it. You and me, we just click, we have fun and laugh a lot together, you’re hot as fuck, I’m even hotter-”

I snorted a laugh at that, rolling my eyes at him.

“Is there a point to this?” I asked.

“I just wanted to clear the air.” He shrugged innocently. “Would you believe it if I said I miss you?”

“I haven’t gone anywhere,” I pointed out.

Caleb’s eyes skimmed between mine for a long moment as he surveyed the dark rings in them. “I guess not.”

“I really am sorry,” I blurted, sensing he was about to leave again. “I know I said it that night, but…I was in such a dark place after me and Darius were Star Crossed. And I like you too, Caleb, we do have fun and if I’m honest I’ve always kind of used sex to escape from the shittiest things in my life. It doesn’t excuse it and I swear I didn’t do it on purpose. I guess I’ve just separated you from the other Heirs in my head for a while now because you’re not a complete and utter asswipe-”

“Thanks?” Caleb raised an eyebrow at me, but I carried on before he could stop me.

“I only mean…it wasn’t intentional. To put you in that position with your friend. I was drowning when you messaged me. I just needed something to help bury the pain of it and-”

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” Caleb said with a sigh. “You were in a shitty place and you needed someone to pull you back from the brink. Besides, you and Darius never really got off of the starting block, did you? The fucking stars have a lot to answer for there. I know there’s a lot of shit that’s mysterious about Elysian Mates, but some people can go years knowing each other before they get called beneath the stars. Forcing the two of you to answer to fate after a few months filled with pretty spectacular reasons for you to say no was cruel.”

“Maybe the stars always wanted this to happen.” I shrugged like that didn’t burn me up inside and Caleb pushed himself to his feet, reaching out to cup my jaw and make me look up at him.

“Yeah? Well maybe the stars can get fucked then,” he said fiercely, his navy eyes burning. “They might be able to put rings in your eyes, but they don’t get to force you to be miserable.”

“Don’t they?”

“No. So take a deep breath and suck it up, sweetheart. Because the girl who came back swinging at us after she nearly drowned in that pool doesn’t let anyone tell her what to do. Not even destiny.”

“So, what do you expect me to do? Look up at the stars and yell fuck you while flipping them off and burning their bullshit to the ground?” I joked, although my blood tingled with the idea of that, because it was exactly what I wanted to do. I’d never been the kind of girl to let anyone tell me my own mind. I’d never been the kind to bow down to destiny or any shit like that. I made my own fate. And I had no desire to spend the rest of my life pining for Darius Acrux.

“Yeah. That’s exactly what I expect.” Caleb offered me a real smile and I couldn’t help but return it. I had to admit, that sounded pretty fucking good to me.

***

I soared through the clouds above the sea beyond the academy with the wind causing burning embers to trail from my wings as I beat a path across the sky trying to catch Gabriel. Darcy had cut her flight short to steal a few hours with a certain Cardinal Magic Professor and I was just glad that she was finding it easier to do now that Seth had backed off.

All in all, the Heirs were actually being…not nice exactly but certainly less repugnant. And I wasn’t sure if I liked it. I mean, sure I didn’t want them to be heinous assholes all the damn time, but I also didn’t want them to stop just because I was supposed to be Darius’s destiny or anything like that. I wanted them to stop because they didn’t want to be assholes anymore. Or better yet because they weren’t assholes anymore.

“I saw a vision of you asking me about that tarot card Darcy found,” Gabriel called as he circled back around towards me and offered me the smug grin he saved up for whenever he used one of his visions to preempt the future.

“It’s a possibility,” I agreed, calling over the wind as I looked at the water far below us.

“Well I might have an answer for you if you ask,” he teased.

I rolled my eyes at him and turned back towards campus. “How about this then – we race back to Neptune Tower and if you get there first I’ll ask. But if I get there first, you’ll give me a summary of how this conversation is going to go without making me jump through hoops?”

“Bad choice, Tor, Harpies are much faster than Phoenixes,” Gabriel taunted and I didn’t miss the way he’d just decided to start calling me by Darcy’s nickname for me, but I also kinda liked it.

“Only just,” I scoffed. “Besides…I don’t have to worry about that wind.”

“What wind?”

I raised a hand and blasted a wall of air at him hard enough to send him tumbling away through the clouds and his laughter chased me as I shot away, flying towards campus as fast as I physically could.

My flaming wings beat furiously and Phoenix fire sprung to life all over my body a moment later. I had to fight to stop it from consuming my clothes and I lost a little speed as I concentrated.

Gabriel shouted something which sounded like dirty cheat a moment before a torrent of water crashed over me. It sizzled out of existence against the heat of my flames and I was engulfed in steam which blinded me for a moment as Gabriel’s laughter tore past.

I commanded the air around me to clear the steam and beat my wings harder as I gave chase, the tower looming ahead of us as we raced across campus.

Gabriel was right about Harpies being faster…just. But it didn’t mean I was going to give in. As he dove towards the tower roof, I threw all of my power into my air magic, creating a powerful updraft beneath him and sending him catapulting up into the clouds again.

His curses met with my laughter as I shot towards the roof, landing lightly before dropping to sit on the russet tiles with my legs dangling over the edge.

I withdrew the flames from my skin, but kept my wings free as I waited for him to arrive.

Gabriel dove from the clouds at the speed of a comet before landing beside me and dropping down with a huff of frustration.

“You fight dirty for a princess,” he growled. 

“I’m pretty sure being a princess in Solaria requires it,” I pointed out.

“You may have a point.”

“That’s what it takes to be Fae, right? You have to be ruthless, determined, savage, heartless-”

“Not always,” he replied in a low voice.

“Often enough.”

We sat in silence as the truth of that weighed down on our shoulders and Gabriel’s arm pressed against mine. There was something about him that just put me at ease. I had serious trust issues at the best of times and I really never made friends easily. In fact, most of the time I had to assume that people only really wanted to hang out with me as an extension of Darcy unless they wanted something from me. But it wasn’t like that with Gabriel. I felt a genuine connection with him that had nothing to do with any of that and everything to do with the two of us.

He nudged me playfully and I nudged him back. The second time he did it, he shoved me so hard, I fell off the roof.

I screamed as I began to plummet and his hand snatched mine as I grabbed the edge of the roof and beat my wings, scrambling back up.

“Dickwad,” I panted as I sat down beside him again with my heart racing and he laughed.

“I don’t like losing,” he said with a shrug like that made it okay for him to push me off a roof.

“Asshat,” I muttered but I was smirking too.

He was the kind of friend who would stand up to my bullshit, bristle in response to my resting bitch face, call me out on my own crap, push me off a roof when I cheated him and have my back to the brutal, bitter end. Ride or die. In short, the best kind of friend there was. Which considering the short time I’d known him seemed insane, but I just knew it was the case.

I thought back on the lesson we’d had on star bonds and had to wonder if he was my Nebula Ally. The kind of friend the stars chose especially for me because I needed him. Although the stars were on my shit list so I wasn’t going to be offering them any gratitude even if that was true. But I was tempted to ask if he felt it too or if I was just being a weird little stalker claiming to be his BFF.

“Yes, I believe so too,” he said with that knowing smirk.

“Stop answering questions I haven’t asked yet. It’s weird.” I kinda loved it though.

“Pfft. What’s the point in wasting time waiting for you to ask when I already know what you’re going to say? Besides, if I really am your Nebula Ally then you must like it really because I do it all the damn time and if it annoyed the fuck out of you then you wouldn’t be able to stand me.” I rolled my eyes, but didn’t deny it. “Besides, this isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve got more than a few Nebula Allies so I know how to spot the signs. Me, you and Darcy are like a little dream team just waiting to happen. Besties for life.”

I didn’t miss his mocking tone, but I liked it anyway. “Well, it’s time the stars gave me something good for once,” I said. “Rather than just fucking me over all the damn time.”

Silence hung between us as we kicked our legs above the ten floor drop and Gabriel sighed. “I owe you the conversation about the new tarot card Darcy found, but I can’t offer you any insight into it right now. The only thing I could glean from the stars is that it relates to something immeasurably important, but they refused to give me any more than that to go on. So instead, I’m going to say something to you which you won’t like. And you’re going to throw a fit and storm off and then be even more pissed at me because I predicted it and you said you wouldn’t throw a fit but you still did.”

“What?” I asked with a frown. I was in a seriously good mood. It was a beautiful day, I’d made progress with my Tarot and Potions studies and I’d mastered an advanced concealment spell that Orion had had us working on for over a week. My team’s cheer routine was looking fucking killer in practice and I’d only pouted over Darius like five times today. Hell, I hadn’t even touched the shadows all afternoon. I was as peachy as a nectarine and couldn’t see any sign of that changing. “I’m not going to throw a fit, Gabriel. Hell, I don’t even know how to throw a fit. I’m as chill as they come.”

“That’s a load of bull and we both know it. Anyway, I’m not going to apologise because you need to hear this. I’ve seen it. Plus I’m going home for the weekend after you storm off and you’ll be begrudgingly apologising to me on Monday morning in Tarot class… Oh, scrap that, you might still be pissed and give me the scowly face all day actually. There are a few factors that will determine how long it takes you to realise I was right. It just depends on how pigheaded you are and with your track record…”

“Stop being cryptic and just give it to me straight,” I demanded.

“Fine. But don’t punch me… In fact-” Gabriel shifted until there was a good meter of space between us and I raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re going to try and punch me and if anyone sees us, you’ll end up in trouble with Nova for attacking a teacher. I can’t be fucked with the effort involved with fixing that headache. Nice right hook by the way.”

“Gabriel, just spit it out,” I demanded.

“Okay.” He sighed, levelling me with a dark stare which was quite a deviation from our lighthearted back and forth. “You just claimed that the stars fucked you over, but do you really believe that?” he asked, pinning me in his gaze. There was something so familiar about his eyes, something that drew me in and made me want to trust him. Made me feel safe.

“Of course I believe that. They selected an Elysian Mate for me who had never shown me anything but cruelty and violence. They didn’t even give me the opportunity to choose him,” I growled, my bitterness over that rising keenly.

“So you think that between the stars and Darius himself, they’re entirely to blame. None of it falls down on you?” he asked. And he was right, I wanted to punch him.

I pushed my tongue into my cheek as I tore my gaze away from his and looked out over the campus. “What should I have done differently? Just roll over and take all of the shit he put me through? Let him humiliate me, victimise me, taunt and bully me, burn off my clothes, tell lies about me to the press, team up with his friends to hurt my sister, go out of his way to make me miserable, call me all kinds of cruel things and try to drown me and then say to myself, well he had his reasons so never mind, I’ll just let him take ownership of me too?” My words were heated and burned across my tongue. My anger, frustration, rage, disappointment, all of it rolled up into one hard pit in the centre of me where my heart should have lain and lashing out at the slightest provocation.

“I don’t think you should let him off the hook for it. But I think you need to take responsibility for your part in things too. Darius is a product of this world, these people who surround him, the monster who made him. How do you think you would have faired with a father like Lionel Acrux? Who do you think you would be if the Savage King had never died and he’d moulded you into his image?”

“How am I supposed to answer that?” I growled. “But it’s not like me and Darcy had it easy. We were bounced from place to place, never wanted, constantly sent away. We had no one to raise us with any kind of consistency, yet we didn’t grow up to be total assholes. She certainly didn’t anyway.”

“I know that you bear the scars of your life before Solaria on your soul. They moulded you just as Lionel moulded Darius. But despite the fact that Lionel worked his hardest to create Darius in his own image, he still fights back against his father. He still tries to protect his brother no matter the cost. And in everything he did to you, no matter how fucked up it might have been, he was acting with the belief that it was the best thing for Solaria. Ask anyone who was alive during the Savage King’s rule and they’ll tell you what a horrifying place our kingdom was to live in while we were governed by the rules of a mad man. Aside from that, Darius has been preparing for years to challenge his father and take his place on the Celestial Council by force. He wants to do that so that he and the other Heirs can make even more progress within this kingdom. That’s why he fought so hard to stop you from seizing it from him. It doesn’t excuse his faults, but it does explain them.”

“And it doesn’t change what he did to me,” I growled stubbornly. “He never apologised, you know. Not once. Not until it was too late and we were standing beneath the stars being asked whether or not we wanted to be bound for life. Then all of a sudden he was filled with regret. But how am I supposed to know if that was regret for what he did to me or if it was regret for what he did to his mate?”

“You’re one and the same.”

“No. We’re not. Because I said no. Because I might have a thousand faults of my own. I might be stubborn and selfish and unforgiving at times. I might be harsh and hard and damaged, but I have enough self respect to know that I’m worth more than some overdue apology blurted when there was no choice but to make it.”

“You’re right…but do you remember the night I asked you to get stardust for our flying lessons from Darius? I told you he would say yes if you asked so long as you went before midnight.”

“What of it?” I muttered.

“Do you remember I warned you that there were two paths your conversation could take depending on the two of you and what choices you made?” he pressed.

“Vaguely.”

“And did you heed that warning? When you went to him, did you try and stop your conversation from heading down the darker path?”

“From memory, he acted like a complete douchebag from the moment I entered his room.”

“I’m pretty sure he tried to talk to you reasonably,” Gabriel countered.

“Do you just vision snoop on all of your friends’ private conversations or is that a special treat you’ve reserved for me?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.

“I get my visions for a reason, and the only reason I snooped was because I knew that could have been a turning point for you one way or another. It was important.” Gabriel shrugged like he had no qualms about his sneaky, snoopy visions and I narrowed my eyes on him.

“So you knew we were going to be Elysian Mates?” I asked, my heart pounding at the thought of that. If he’d known and hadn’t warned me, I’d wring his fucking neck and pluck all of his feathers before lighting them on fire while he cried over it.

“No. Of course not. No one can predict those kinds of star bonds, the heavens hide that from us. Believe me, I know – I spent a lot of time trying to predict them a long time ago.”

“Why were you so interested in us then?” I demanded.

“The stars offered me enough to know that your relationship with Darius was important. Not just for you, but for the whole of Solaria. It still is, even now. You’re both destined to rule this kingdom and one way or another you’ll have to figure that out one day.”

“So what? You’re saying that if I’d been reasonable too, talked to Darius instead of freaking out over the idea of him hurting me again then this whole thing might have turned out differently?” I scoffed. “Because of one conversation?”

“Wars have hinged on less. Fate is a fickle and temperamental beast.”

I frowned as I thought back on that night. Darius had told me he cared about me and I hadn’t wanted to believe it. He’d seemed so close to apologising for everything, the words almost seeming to stick in his throat and for the longest moment I’d really believed he was going to speak them. But he didn’t. And I hadn’t waited around for him to find the courage to do it.

“We fought,” I said, bitter tears stinging the backs of my eyes. “He insulted me again and I just lost it with him. He wanted me to admit that my feelings for him had changed, that on the night of the Lunar Eclipse when we almost kissed it meant something more.”

“But you slammed the door in his face and told him nothing had changed,” Gabriel said sadly like knowing I’d done that hurt him too. “And you told him you still hated him.”

“Well what the fuck else was I supposed to say?” I snarled. “Are you telling me I should have just cut myself open, shown him my heart and let it bleed for him? Made myself vulnerable to him after everything he’d put me through when he couldn’t even say he was sorry for any of it?”

Gabriel sighed like my words caused him pain and he shook his head sadly. “You both could have made different choices there. If he’d apologised, if you’d been honest…you would have been together that night. It would have changed so many things.”

I scoffed because I didn’t believe it. Or maybe I just didn’t want to. Maybe I was too stubborn, but what difference did that make now?

Gabriel hesitated before he went on, seeming to see the way my blood was boiling and rage was fuelling me. “After you were together in the Shimmering Springs, you told him it didn’t matter to you, you made little of it, told him it didn’t change anything.”

I ground my teeth. I knew why I’d said that then. Darius had been looking at me in a way I couldn’t put a name to and I’d been terrified that he was about to say or do something cruel again. And I couldn’t take it. I was too raw in that moment, too vulnerable, desperate for it to mean nothing and mean everything all at once that I’d gotten there first with venomous words and lies held before me in a shield to try and protect myself.

“I assumed it meant nothing to him. That I was just some conquest,” I muttered.

“He was falling in love with you and you ripped his heart out,” Gabriel said quietly. “There is no greater pain in this world than that. Believe me. I know. I’ve lived it.”

“So am I supposed to feel guilty now?” I demanded. “Responsible? After everything? All of it? He never said that to me. Never told me-”

“He told you. You just didn’t want to hear it,” Gabriel interrupted.

“I don’t want to hear this,” I snapped, getting to my feet as the tears threatened to fall. “I don’t have to hear it.”

“Yes you do,” Gabriel growled, standing too. “Because you need to accept that you’re to blame in this too. You both failed the tests the stars set you-”

“I don’t-”

“In the throne room, when you were with him there, he told you, as clearly as I’m telling you now that he wanted you, he said he wanted to claim you as his own, he said he wanted everything from you, that you-”

“Do you just have visions about my fucking sex life?” I snapped.

“It’s not about sex,” he said with a grimace like the idea of seeing me and Darius going at it horrified him. Which it should have because the idea of him vision-perving as well as vision-snooping was so far beyond gross I could have puked. “I don’t see that. I see the parts that matter, the things you say and feel and I know how much you both care-”

“Enough!” I shouted as the tears finally broke past my defences and spilled down my cheeks. “That’s enough. I don’t care whose fault it was or how many chances we had not to end up here. We are here. That’s the end of it. So fuck fate. Fuck the stars. Fuck destiny. Fuck Darius Acrux. And fuck you.”

I leapt off of the roof before he could reply, throwing up a hard air shield behind me to make sure he couldn’t follow as I beat my wings hard and took off across campus. I didn’t know where I was going, I just knew that I needed to get the hell away from Gabriel Nox, my so called bestie.

Wasn’t it bad enough that I had to live with this shit for the rest of my life? Did I really have to turn it all over and over? Couldn’t he just leave me to blame Darius for all of this and at least take comfort in my own innocence? I didn’t need him piling blame onto me too. And I really didn’t need to be thinking that he might just have a fucking point.

Gah! Fucking psychic Harpy asshole.

A rush of magic swept over my skin and I shivered as I realised I’d just flown straight through the magical barrier which surrounded campus.

I knew I should turn and head back but as I swept over the green hills beyond the academy, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I just needed a bit of head space to think.

I might not have wanted to listen to Gabriel’s accusations, but they were worming their way into my head all the same. And despite a petulant little voice in the back of my skull screaming that I’d had every reason not to trust in Darius’s words when he’d expressed his feelings to me. That I’d learned time and again never to trust anyone aside from me and my sister – especially pretty assholes filled with beautiful promises and cruel intentions – I was starting to have doubts.

I’d learned a long time ago to take actions more seriously than words and Darius’s actions had always proved me right to hate him. Hadn’t they?

Memories of waking up in his arms trickled past my anger and the way that had felt made me bite my lip. If there had been any time when I’d sensed the bond between us most keenly it was then. In the quiet moments where we didn’t try to be anything, didn’t say anything, didn’t even really do anything, where we were just us. Like when we power shared or danced, when we climbed the diving board after the Halloween party or played in the snow at Christmas…

There was pain in those memories, but there was a sad kind of beauty too.

The tears had fallen still once more, but my wet cheeks stung in the cool wind as I flew.

A grassy hilltop opened up beneath me and I tucked my wings as I dove towards it.

I landed lightly, retracting my wings as I looked around at the green space with the setting sun in the distance. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been alone like this. It was so peaceful.

I took a deep breath and dropped down to sit on the grass. It was cold and the ground was damp, but it only took a little flare of fire magic to cure both issues and I turned my gaze to the orange and pinks that stained the sky as I thought back all the way to the beginning. To the first time I’d laid eyes on Darius Acrux, and tried to figure out all the places it had gone wrong and how much of it was really on me.

“Roxanya?” a woman’s voice came from behind me and I shrieked in fright as I leapt to my feet, throwing an air shield up around me a moment before fire burst to life in my palms.

My eyes widened as I recognised Catalina Acrux, Darius’s mother, with her perfectly styled brunette hair and perfectly pushed up tits in a designer dress and killer heels which sank into the wet ground. Although as my gaze fell on them, she flicked her fingers and the mud hardened beneath her to give her better purchase.

“What the fuck do you want?” I snarled, holding my ground despite the fact that I wanted to bolt. Was her psycho husband hiding in the trees somewhere? Were they planning on grabbing me again? I looked around surreptitiously, not seeing any signs of that, before snapping my gaze back to her. “And where the fuck did you come from?”

“I managed to pay off a few staff members to alert me if you were to leave campus,” she admitted sheepishly. “And I’m fairly adept in tracking spells. I was on the path to joining the FIB before my marriage to Lionel was arranged and…” She stopped talking suddenly, almost seeming to be choking for a moment then just shook her head like nothing had happened.

“Why?” I demanded.

I didn’t know a whole hell of a lot about Catalina’s magical abilities, but I had no doubt she was strong. Lionel only would have married the best candidate for producing his Heirs after all. And though I was sure being beautiful helped her case, I had no doubts she was a lot more than that beneath all the layers of bullshit.

“I need to know if-” she pulled up short again, her nostrils flaring as she seemed to struggle with something.

“What?” I narrowed my eyes at her as her gaze locked on mine and she swallowed thickly.

“Why?” she asked eventually and I didn’t need her to ask any more than that to know what she meant.

I released a slow breath as I looked into her eyes and saw pain there, true pain for her son and what he was going through. I guessed her porcelain perfection did have a heart hiding within it somewhere and that made my gut twist in a way which I hadn’t felt in a long time. But it was hard not to feel a pang of jealousy and longing at the idea of having a parent who gave a shit. I would have traded anything for one when I was growing up.

“You’re married to a monster. Can’t you imagine any reason why I might not want that fate for myself?” I growled, the pain of my decision pressing in on me keenly after Gabriel had jabbed at my wounds.

“Darius isn’t his father,” she breathed.

Part of me wanted to agree with her and part of me didn’t. Hell, I was so torn up over Darius that I didn’t know what I should be feeling about him anymore. Was this the stars punishing me and making me pine for him, or was I already this hooked on him before I’d said no but I’d just been too stubborn to admit it to myself?

“Did Lionel…” she pursed her lips then began again. “Did he warn you off or tell you something about Darius which made you feel like you had to say no?”

My jaw ticked against the answer to that one. Yes, Lionel did tell me to keep away from his son. In fact, he used his Dark Coercion to compel me to break Darius’s heart and the memory of that ate me up inside. Because I didn’t want to face the fact that despite the way my Phoenix powers had protected me from that bind he tried to put on me, I’d still ended up doing exactly as he’d commanded. And the idea of playing into his plans just made me want to spit with rage. But was I going to discuss that with his wife who’d just rocked up here to accost me in the middle of nowhere? Not so much.

“Don’t come and corner me like this again or you’ll find out just how well your defences hold against Phoenix fire,” I warned. My wings burst from my back in a blaze of red and blue flames which lit the hilltop so brightly that I was almost blinded by it for a moment.

I spread my wings in preparation of take off, but Catalina moved even faster than I’d anticipated. A spear of wood punched a hole in my shield with a carefully targeted attack and she thrust her arm through it, grabbing my wrist as she cried out for me to wait.

My heart leapt and my Phoenix flames sprang forth to protect me, racing from my skin at the point where she held me and slamming into her body.

Catalina gasped, her dark eyes flying wide as my flames collided with her but instead of burning her flesh, they dipped beneath it and my heart pounded as I was suddenly gifted a connection into the very magic which ran through her veins.

Our eyes met in shock as my Order gifts pulsed beneath her flesh, burning, chasing, dancing under her skin like the flames were hunting something and I was merely left to watch them.

All of a sudden, the flames met with a wall of darkness which stood before them like an endless sea of nothing, barring their way on. There was something so alien about it, so wrong that my instincts pushed at me to destroy it immediately.

My Phoenix flames roared as they tore through the wall in Catalina’s mind and she cried out as the darkness within her was devoured. The moment my fire had destroyed the wall, it raced on, soon finding another and another as Catalina’s grip on my arm tightened.

A tear slid down her cheek then a second as my Phoenix flames swept beneath her skin and burned away every dark and corrupt thing they found lurking there.

Once it was all gone, the flames returned to me and I was left panting, shaking with fatigue as my wings sagged low on my back.

“What was that?” I groaned, the remainder of my air shield shattering as I slumped down onto my knees with fatigue pressing in on me.

“You…I’m free,” Catalina gasped, releasing her grip on me as she backed up, her hands clasping her chest as a radiant smile captured her full lips.

“Free of what?”

“The Dark Coercion Lionel placed on me…each and every command he ever bound me with is just…gone.” Her eyes were shimmering with emotion and she suddenly dropped to her knees sobbing as she fought to adjust to what had just happened.

“He had you Coerced to do things?” I asked in confusion.

The suspicious part of me wanted to be wary of her still, but it was hard to deny the raw emotion coming from her now or the walls of darkness I’d destroyed within her mind.

“He’s had me under his spell for a long time,” she sobbed. “He stole my children’s love from me. He made me cold and brittle with them…he took them…he…” Catalina looked up at me suddenly, her dark eyes which were so like Darius’s pinning me down and holding me hostage. “He can’t find out about this. Promise me you’ll tell no one.”

“I’m not doing that,” I said, shaking my head as her eyes blazed with determination.

“Let me go back to my son, Roxanya. I need to get back to Xavier, to figure out a way to cut him free of that place. If Lionel doesn’t know that he’s lost his command over me then I might be able to get him out of there.”

“What’s he doing to Xavier?” I asked, my heart thrashing at the desperate look in her eyes.

“Xavier has a shameful secret,” she whispered fearfully.

“I know about him being a Pegasus,” I growled. “And I don’t see any shame in that at all.”

Catalina’s lips parted like she hadn’t expected that, but she brushed past it quickly enough. “Lionel is up to something. I don’t know what, but it’s to do with Xavier and his Order, I’m afraid of the lengths he’ll go to to keep this secret hidden.”

“You think he’s going to hurt him?” I asked, my gut twisting anxiously. Lionel already made his sons’ lives hell, so if she was this afraid then maybe she feared he’d do more than just hurt him and the idea of that made my heart pound. Xavier had carved a place in my heart, I hated the idea of him being locked up in that house with that monster and if he was in real danger for his life then I wanted to do anything I could to help him.

“Lionel can’t bear the shame of Xavier’s Order. He’s satisfied with hiding him for now, but that can’t go on forever. One day soon, people are going to start asking questions about why he left high school. Or why he won’t be attending Zodiac next year and… I’m afraid that he’s planning to kill him.” A choked sob escaped her. “I managed to put some protection in place for him before, but Lionel is working tirelessly to undo it. Once he figures out how to negate what I’ve done, I don’t know how much time Xavier will have left. Lionel won’t ever allow knowledge of his true Order to be discovered. I have to find a way to get him out of that house and hide him. Please, swear to me you won’t tell anyone that you freed me from his Dark Coercion.”

Catalina extended her hand to me and I knew she wanted me to swear it to the stars. But I wasn’t just about to agree to that without getting something more from her.

“On one condition,” I growled. “I won’t tell a soul about this, so long as you promise to keep me updated about anything and everything Lionel is doing with Clara. Anything and everything that might put my sister and me in danger. If he’s planning to strike at us, I need to know. If he’s doing something with the shadows then tell me that too.”

“Yes. I’ll tell you everything, I swear it,” she growled fiercely and the only thing I could see shining in her dark eyes was a pure, raw determination to protect her child. And the ache that kind of devotion awoke in me couldn’t possibly be refused.

I slapped my palm into hers and a clap of magic resounded between us. “And I swear not to speak of this to anyone in return.”

“Give me your Atlas number and I’ll message you whenever I can,” she urged, holding her own Atlas out for me so that I could key it in. “I have to get back to the manor before I’m missed.”

“Me and Darcy are getting stronger every day,” I said as the two of us prepared to part ways. “One day we’ll come for Lionel and show him exactly who the most powerful Fae in Solaria are.” Shadows licked keenly beneath my skin at those words and Catalina’s eyes shone with hope for a moment.

“Your choice with Darius was your own, wasn’t it?” she breathed in a sad voice. “Lionel’s Dark Coercion couldn’t take root in you, could it?”

“It was my own,” I agreed, a rough edge to my voice.

She sighed in disappointment, stepping back as she pulled a pouch of stardust from her pocket. “I wish he could have done enough to win your love, Roxanya.”

She tossed the stardust over her head and disappeared before I could reply.

I swallowed against the thick lump in my throat and spread my wings wide before taking off too, beating a path through the sky towards the academy, wondering if things had really just changed as profoundly as it felt like they had.