YUUKI - To Move Forward: Prelude 1

Log #9: Biology

From the information we have gathered, as well as the experience on the field, it has been determined that the least lethal consistently aggressive creature is the Silverwolf. Sleek, swift creatures, they often pose a threat only if caught unprepared or unarmed. They appear to display minor intelligence, but it only extends to its reflexes and stalking ability, and not to any form of communication, restraint, or morality whatsoever. It does have patience unparalleled to any other creature, as well as the greatest reflexes and speed. Even if it isn’t the most threatening creature out there, it is always unnerving to have a pack of them stalking you, waiting hours on end if needed to secure their prey.

-General Shura Averin

0499 BPE

“You’re new, aren’t you?”

Alison and I were both sitting in adjacent hospital beds in Sentinal Academy’s Medical Treatment Center, the MTC. Nurse Callie had just finished evaluating our injuries, where we had proceeded to sit quietly on our beds. Apparently we had been out for about an hour, but our physical and mental conditions was stable. Finally my boredom had gotten the better of me, so I attempted to start a conversation with something that had been on my mind.

“Eight months,” she began slowly, “eight months I have attended this Academy.”

“But you are a Junior?”

“Yeah.” She looked in her lap.

“Transfer?”

“Mhm.”

“Okay, but, uh, where did you come from? I mean, what school did you go to before this? Not just anyone can wield a baton like that.”

This time she looked up at me, and cast a smile that made my heart jump. “Let’s just keep that a secret for now, ’k? And thank you, I had a great instructor.”

Right then, Nurse Callie returned. “How are you two feeling right now? Any headaches, pains, nausea, numbness?”

I glanced at Alison, and she nodded. “No, I think we’re all good, thank you.”

“That’s good to hear; your instructor is requesting everyone who can move themselves return to their classroom. Are you two alright to head back?”

This time Alison cut in. “Yeah, we’re fine, right?”

I nodded in agreement. After a few more questions, she released us, and we began our journey back to our classes. Alison had a different instructor than mine, so we would part ways again once we reached the end of the main hallway.

“Hey, what about you, Kazuki? How long have you been at Sentinal?”

I stuttered for a second, then thrust my hands into my pockets, looking at the paintings on the walls. “Hm... ’Bout two years, eight months or so? Basically long as possible for a Junior. My sister just got promoted to Sentinal this school year, so it’s also my job to show her around and help her with whatever she needs in and out of school.”

Alison looked at me with wide eyes. “You have a sister? That’s sweet, how old is she?”

“W-Well, she’s almost fifteen. Hey, how old are you?”

She paused a moment, considering my question, then grinned. “Sizing me up already, are you?” She ignored my immediate complaint, and continued, “Very well; I’m seventeen, how about you?”

“Sixteen as of last month. Wow, so I guess you’re older than me.”

“Yeah... It must be so cool, having someone that looks up to you like that. I’m an only child now, so I spend all my free time training and practicing... Oh, here we are. I’ll see you later!”

I took a large bite out of Dad’s hand-crafted sandwich, and looked up at the unchanging, cloudless sky. It was certainly a quiet day, the kind that lays the world to rest and denies its inhabitants any possibility of studious behavior. Sure enough, after two minutes of sitting down on my favorite bench looking over the field, my muscles were relaxed, and my every thought felt sluggish. It was a nice feeling, but I knew it couldn’t last. In a world like Chorus, nobody had the luxury of leaning back on a bench and wasting the day away.

Nobody could possibly waste so much time.

As if on cue, a rather loud noise burst out from behind me; first a girl’s surprised yell, followed by a boy’s scoff. Shuffling, pushing. It sounded like the girl wasn’t in a very good situation.

Darn it, just when I’d gotten so comfortable, too.

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have had anything to do with another person’s issues. I could barely handle my own, and I certainly wasn’t some socialite hero, or anything sociable at all. Despite that, I shook my body awake, sighed out the content laziness in my lungs, and got to my feet. Despite who I was, the person being antagonized wasn’t just some classmate or student whom I’d bumped into once or twice. I could tell exactly who she was from her voice and attitude.

And there was no way I’d let an opportunity to help Alison pass by. More importantly, I couldn’t just sit back, knowing she could use a hand.

As I crept forward, cautious of what exactly I was getting myself into, the wind drifted the conversation in my direction.

“Hey, what are you doing?!”

“C’mon now, girl. You don’t need to be so shy. Someone as pretty as you should have way more friends than you do. Let’s head on over to the gym; I’ll introduce you to some peeps.”

“Don’t touch me. I’m perfectly happy where I am. Popularity and attractiveness are in no way mutual attributes, and I’m more than content with the latter. Now please leave me be.”

“That’s no way to act. C’mon, I’m just trying to be friendly.”

“Then how about you step back, huh?”

At that point I’d rounded the corner of a classroom, and the scene became clear. Alison was backing off slowly towards the field, and Matthew, the student with the halberd I’d seen before our duel, was slowly advancing. It sounded like Matthew was just trying to be friendly, but his method was borderline harassment.

I wanted to say something, but my legs were immobile. The very idea of intervening grounded me to the spot. What would I say? What could I do? I couldn’t just go up there and fix things! I wasn’t nearly as strong as him, so what could I realistically do? Stepping up would just pull me into that mess, without helping anyone...

At the same time, a wave of guilt rolled through me after every question.

Such obvious excuses can’t fool anyone; you’re just scared. Scared, shy, and useless. Come on, just go over there and help her! What do you actually have to lose? Sure you may be weaker than him, but you and Alison both? Stop kidding yourself and get over it!

I knew it. I was just scared of getting involved, as usual. Even when it was a friend in need, my feet were rooted to the position of an onlooker, terrified of getting involved in anyone’s affairs. This was no different. There was nothing I could do; not because I didn’t have any power, but because I didn’t have any faith in my power. I couldn’t do anything.

So why did I do something back then?

A memory of not too long ago, in an alley between school buildings. Silverwolves littered on the ground around a girl with blond hair. Her smile, her spirit. Why did I come out back then? And I’d done it without hesitation, too. I’d gone up and spoken to her, and although I made a mess of it, nevertheless had gotten myself involved. With a girl, no less. Why then? Why not now? She was still here, and this time she could actually benefit from my presence.

If I was going to help, I had to do it now. I had to go quickly before my cowardice could fight back. If I didn’t start moving, I would never go anywhere.

I took a shaky gulp, swallowing the denial that had begun to build up, and strided forward, furiously blocking out any and all thoughts about the matter. The only important thing now was to get there. Crossing the bridge could wait. As I got closer, the real issue was revealed. Behind Matthew, two other boys backed him up, smirking and following his lead.

Of course Alison could handle someone like Matthew on her own, even though it would cause a bit of trouble. Three boys, however, would leave quite a scene, which would definitely go against what Alison desired. She had to settle the matter civilly. Which meant talking to people. Not just that, but convincing them to leave her be, too.

Maybe she really did need my help, after all.

I suppose it didn’t really matter either way, though, since I was here.

Alison was still eyeing the boys, so they noticed the intruder first. Matthew turned his head to identify me, and the boys followed. When Alison saw their heads turn, she did the same, and gasped.

“K-Kazuki? What are you doing here?”

“Huh? What do you think you’re doing, man? I hope you aren’t here to cause some trouble.”

I swallowed down my overwhelming flight instinct, and hurried over to Alison’s side.

“Sorry, Matt, but I’m on her side. You really shouldn’t be deciding what’s best for anyone but yourself.”

“Is that so? You pickin’ a fight with us?” His lackeys jeered with him, raising their fists.

“N-No! Of course not, I just, uh, want to solve this without any issues.”

“That so? Then how about you leave us to our business? I’m just telling Alison they way things are. You tryin’ to say that having more friends is bad or something? You’re one to talk, eh?”

My resolve faltered momentarily. He was right; I didn’t have many friends, so I couldn’t really decide what was best for Alison, either.

In my moment of hesitation, Alison stepped in front of me. “Alright, that’s enough. Neither of you have any right to choose how I spend my time, okay? Maybe I just like to be alone, okay? Maybe the senseless blabbering of lackeys is tiring and bothersome to me, huh? Maybe one or two good friends are better than ten buddies. Think about that?”

Matthew stepped back, flinching from the sudden offensive strike. From the way he talked, it was clear that few he spoke with ever opposed his opinions, and that easy lifestyle was backfiring now.

“Hey, I know that you may think that, but trust me, having tons of friends is awesome! You aren’t bored all the time, you got bros to hang with when you want to, and it’s just a great time! You’ll love it, so come on already.”

“She said no, man. Let it go, okay? She doesn’t want what you’re selling, so stop trying to butt into her life, okay? Unless you plan to force her to go with you. That might be an issue.”

“Ngh... Mind your own business, Kazuki! This is between me and her-”

“Mind your own business! You’re bothering someone while telling someone to not bother you. Isn’t that a bit hypocritical, Matt? Just leave her alone, okay?”

“Hmph. Fine. Have it your way. I don’t feel like causing a scene right now. C’mon, guys, let’s get out of here already.”

Neither me nor Alison moved a step as we watched the trio disappear around another building, and out of sight. Once they were gone, she turned around to face me.

“Hey. Just for the record, I could’ve taken ’em.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course you could have. But you didn’t, which I’m glad for. If nothing else, it allowed me to step in and help out.”

“Haha! Wow, that was a bit more honesty than I was expecting! Well, thanks for helping, I really do appreciate it. The last thing I would have wanted was to pick a fight with them...”

“G-Glad to be of help!”

Suddenly, she went quiet, and lowered her head. For some reason, she looked incredibly timid.

“S-So, uh, Kazuki?”

Her tone of voice had changed drastically to a shy, sweet melody that nearly melted my heart on the spot. I tried to respond, but only a weak squeal escaped.

“Is-Is it okay if we walk together...to our next class? I mean MY next class... Uh, my next class that is. Sorry... Is that okay?”

“Y-Y-Yeah, sure thing, Alison. Yeah, okay. Let’s get going.” I think I responded with an affirmative, but an overwhelming thumping coursing through my head had dumbed my mind. When I spoke, the heavy beating drowned out my words, so I just had to hope that what I was trying to say made it through.

Alison responded by nodding quickly and silently, and we went on our way.

When we arrived at our destination, she said thank you again, and hurried inside the classroom. That little incident must have taken the whole lunchtime, so she was hurried to not be late. That would make sense as to why she suddenly seemed to be so rushed, anyway.

As I headed to my own classroom, I glanced at my watch casually.

Strange, there’s still ten minutes before class starts.

After that incident, the last two months of Junior year passed by with nothing noteworthy; just more classes, more excitement as Juniors fiddled with their weapons, and less homework. During spring break, I fine-tuned my sword and its technique, and practiced hunting with the new metal. I had some sleepovers with the Twin Beaks, and we watched some movies together. For whatever reason, they insisted on watching horror movies, although Alex never survived through one of them. Once April arrived, it was Rosa’s Sophomore year, and my long-anticipated Senior year. The classes were harder than ever to reinforce everything we had learned before, including the history of Chorus, the science and biology of the planet, mathematical equations and solutions, and of course, the biology of many the different known Shade species. It was far from an easy year, but it did have some highlights.

A few weeks into the school year, Sarah discovered a Hornaut’s Nest in the cafeteria, and with the Twin Beaks and some other students’ help, we eradicated the one-and-a-half meter tall insects. It caused quite the scene, but thankfully no students or instructors were injured during the extermination. The same could not be said about the Hornauts.

Sometime in July, our science teacher Mr. Mavuto was teaching us about fusing elements, and almost destroyed the classroom. We had to call for an ambulance and wait outside of the class for twenty minutes. After that, we stuck to the textbook for the remainder of the lesson, but at least we all got a good laugh out of it.

During dinner at home, news was anything but rare. Reporters everywhere were trying to spin stories out of the cultists residing nearby Viscor, but there wasn’t a lot of solid fact to build off of. Apparently they were preparing something, and it seemed like something big. Supposedly at night multiple witnesses have reported strange sounds coming from the Barricade, but nobody has investigated. It was a fairly tense situation, but the Duke of Devarden reassured everyone that he, as well as Dominic’s King, were already dispatching troops to quell the unrest. Even still, it was hard not to be curious, as well as a bit anxious.

I didn’t see my sister very much in school, but she certainly made up the lost time at dinner. She always talked nonstop about how fun every class was, about how many friends she had made, and about how great each day was, even if all they had done was study or learn about the history of Dominic and other boring things like that. Whenever I brought this up, she always responded with the same reason: it’s not the material itself that interested her, but instead it was the whole experience of new classes and a new atmosphere, even though she was already a Sophomore. I disregarded her explanation as nonsense.

I saw Alison more, too, since we had two of the same classes together. Sometimes at lunch we would sit down at a bench and talk about our lives, but no matter how hard I pressed, she would never reveal anything about her parents or what sort of education she had received before Sentinal. Whenever I approached the topic, she cast it away, saying the same, “I had a good instructor” line. Stranger still was her great curiosity of my family, as she always seems to have new things to ask about. I kept some things from her, naturally, and just like me, she never pushed me when I hesitated on a question.

I told her a bit more about Rosa, and of my dad, who worked as an engineer in the Barricade. He always told me how he had the ideal job, since he could ensure the safety of Devarden in his daily routine while safely feeling the tense atmosphere of the Shade right outside. He told me that it was exhilarating, yet safe, which was how he liked it.

“That must be awesome, having a father who relishes in his own terror, while still being smart enough to do it safely,” she remarked when I had told her about his job.

“Yeah, but it still is worrying, you know? I mean, what happens if he somehow falls down to the other side? Those things do happen, you know?”

It was a common fear I had, of what would happen to Rosa and me if I woke up one day as an orphan due to a literal slip-up. No matter what, I didn’t want to put that pressure on Rosa again.

“Hey, did you know that the terror people feel when around Shade isn’t exclusively natural human anxiety?” I looked up at her quickly.

“What do you mean?” She looked completely skeptical. It certainly wasn’t common to find something I knew that she didn’t, after all.

“One day, a circuit on the outside broke somehow, so Dad was sent out to fix it. He had to use an emergency hatch and a rope, since the circuit was near the middle of the Barricade. When he left the safety of the walls, he was filled with a sudden and dreadful anxiety, paralyzing him. When he looked down, there were numerous Shade looking up at him, gazing at him hungrily, and he understood why those things cause so much fear...” I stuttered for a second, and added quickly, “...aside from them being the obvious predators, I mean. He looked into the subject, and realized that Shade release some sort of chemical that triggers fear pheromones in many different species of animals, humans included, which in response attracts more Shade. It certainly explains how even the strongest or bravest fighters can fall to a simple Silverwolf. In the end, he managed to fix the broken circuit, but nearly lost a foot to a Core Stalker’s stinger.”

By then Alison was on the edge of the bench, leaning towards me, reading into every word. “Wow, your dad taught you all of that? He must be a pretty awesome father, and you a lucky son,” she smirked.

“W-Well, yeah, I guess,” I stuttered. “I mean, don’t your parents teach you stuff they learned that could benefit you? Or things that could just make a great story?”

Like every other attempt, she tossed the question aside. “Well, Mom and Dad don’t talk to me much, so I don’t know what it’s like to have all these crazy tales. It’s also because of that that I’m not the best at socializing or relating to others...” her voice trailed off, and she looked down again.

“Oh, well, I’m sorry for prying, I-I didn’t mean anything like that! It must stink to grow up like that, though, huh? I can only relate partially, since I only grew up with my father’s care. Mom disappeared long ago, when I was two he said, but he never told me where she went. Sometimes I dream about her, but never for long, considering how I don’t really know anything about her.”

In fact, my dad had done a pretty good job of eliminating as much physical evidence of her life in our house as possible, but the lonely atmosphere sometimes returned at random times, casting the house into an unearthly silence. “The only real piece of evidence that someone like her ever lived there is in Dad’s room: a bed far too large for only one person.”

I stopped suddenly, realizing where the conversation was headed. I looked up at Alison with embarrassment. “S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to, uh, say so much. I didn’t mean to talk so much about, well, myself...” My voice trailed off, as I looked away. It was stupid of me to drone on like that about my own problems, especially to a girl I’d only known for a year. I had no right-”

She cut off that thought immediately, though. “Hey, don’t worry about it. We’re friends, aren’t we? Even if we’ve only known each other for a year, I think of you as someone I’m close to. I’d like to, at least. You’ve helped me so much this past year, and never really asked for anything in return. So if you don’t want to talk about it, then that’s fine. I’d never be so disrespectful as to pry into your life, not if you don’t want me to.” She looked down, and smiled lightly. “But if there’s something, anything I can help you with, then I’d love to be there for you.”

I stared at her, unbelieving. This whole time, I’d feared that she was being my friend out of pity or compassion. For such a girl like her to become my friend because she wanted to was beyond my comprehension. And yet...

And yet here she is, offering to let me open my heart to her. How could I say no?

I took a deep breath, paused to glance at Alison’s reassuring expression, and decided to continue. “The only real conversation I can remember about my mom was when I was thirteen, and Dad sat me down one weekend morning. He asked me if I remembered my mother. I told him that I didn’t, and asked why. He then explained how, now that I was old enough to understand, it was high time to explain why Mom wasn’t there every day, and that he had a responsibility to do so before I grew too old. He told me how Mom left us when I was two, without a reason or even a note. She never even said goodbye.

“Dad told me that she wasn’t coming back. No matter how badly we wished for it, he said she was gone from our lives, and we should keep moving onward without her. That’s all I can remember, I-I...”

That last bit barely escaped, but Alison seemed to understand. She slowly reached a hand over mine, and clasped it firmly. “You know, some things should never be forgotten, so they can lead you through life. Even so, that doesn’t give you an excuse to dwell on those memories. They happened for a reason, and even if you don’t know what the reasons were then, you can still apply what happened, and use it as the foundation for greater things. Sometimes I look up at the sky, and wonder what it’s like to have sleepovers, or to go hang out at a friend’s house. I imagine those things, but I never let them control me. If I did that, then I’d be trapped in the past. It’s like your dad said, you should keep moving without her. Don’t forget her, and don’t cling to her. Your past is the foundation for your future, and whether you like it or not, your memories make up your identity. I won’t tell you that you should just ‘move on’ or ‘grow up’, or anything dumb like that. Just accept it. Accept what happened, and move forward with the foundation that your mother left for you.”

By the time she had finished, tears had welled up in my eyes. I hadn’t spoken more than a few words about my mom in years, since that day with Dad. Hearing Alison’s words sent a wave of realization through me.

It isn’t Mom’s disappearance from my life that had been weighing me down, but rather what she could have been. Possibilities and unknown futures had claimed my mind for years, in some desperate effort to create a life where it wasn’t just the three of us. Deep in my heart, I knew that was wrong, but hearing Alison say it made all those false hopes and empty dreams surface.

But a new desire surfaced with them.

As my tears began to drip down my cheeks, I felt a new spark grow within me.

I want to know why.

Alison gripped my trembling hand tighter.

I want to know how.

I was shaking, but I didn’t feel the same weight upon my heart as I had before.

I want to know exactly what happened to Mom. I want to know if she’s out there. I want to know where she is. I want... to see her again.

As new thoughts and desires blossomed in my chest, I felt the last of my tears fall. I brought a hand to my cheeks, and wiped away the tears.

“Thanks, Alison. Thanks for everything, it means a lot. But sorry, I think this is something I need to take care of for myself. Seriously though, thanks.” I shook my head to clear my thoughts, and suddenly remembered the time. “I think it’s about time for lunch to be over, isn’t it? I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then!”

She nodded, smiling, and we went our separate ways. A few months later, it was graduation day, where we not only graduated from Sentinal once and for all, but chose where we were to go next. Of course, I, the Twin Beaks, and Alison all chose Arcos Academy for our next step in becoming Slayers. To this day I reflect back on that fateful conversation, and wonder: if I had never begun to fall in love with her, would the events that would soon unfold have been avoidable?

Would we all have survived the coming nightmare?