You Saved Me Once Book 1

"You know how I set you and Jeff up, the other day?" Rochelle asks. She's pacing in her living room.

Her slippers are slapping the course rug.

"Yeah, he probably fucking hates me now." I mumble, forcing ice cream down my throat.

The cold calmed the pit, and the tears.

"Why would Jeff fucking hate you? You know what, never mind. We're talking about this douche who stood me up." I nod at Rochelle's comment.

"I was hoping this guy would show, and we could get together while you're with Jeff." She says.

"Hey! You just set us up, to get rid of me?" I ask her.

My face turned red, I look away when I think about what I said to Jeff.

"Yes." She says.

"You're not actually mad about that, are you Al?" She asks.

I squeeze my sleeves, from the cold and stay silent. Rochelle looks sad.

"I really liked him Al. I guess he just sees me as this little girl, still." She smiles, even though I could tell she was hurt.

"So, he bailed?" I ask her.

"Yep. I've called him like, 10 times already." She sighs.

"What was his name, he's in college right? Adam might know him." I ask. She looks away. I knew this look.

She was hiding something, I shouldn't pry. She's more honest than me. I'm a liar, I keep too many secrets.

"Rochelle, do I know him?!" I pry.

Her phone chimes. She squeals at the message.

"It's him!" She cheers.

"What did he say?" I ask.

"He's outside"

She races out the front door. I go back to the ice cream, calming the pit.

Hayes stresses me out, knowing everything, makes me worry. Knowing everything makes me sad, ache, it makes me sick. I put the ice cream away and clean up. The quiet was back, so was the pit. Rochelle comes back inside, she's running towards me. Before ei-ther of us can get a word out, she gives me a hug. I feel her warmth, her happiness, I needed this.

"I'll go." I say.

"He's going to get some snacks, so we can watch a movie. I want you to stay Al." She says.

As we're hugging, I begin to cry.

"What's wrong Alex?" She asks me.

I let go and sit on the couch. My face is red, it's beating.

"I'm not okay right now. I just feel like I'm ruining everything for you, for everyone." I cry.

"Why would you say that?" Rochelle asks. She sits right next to me.

"Hayes is back." I say. Rochelle stands up.

"There is too much shit to re-live. I can't be around him without, without feeling like it's my fault." I say.

My hands are shaking now. I scrunch my hair, and pick at my nails to calm down. Nothing's working. I'm scared.

"Your fault for what?" She asks.

"For everything that happened. He hates me too." I say.

"Alex, I'm sure he doesn't hate you." She says.

"There are things that happened, with the Bartley's and Richards. Rochelle, some of those things you hear, they're true. Some of the truths, are worse than the lies, some things about me. You don't know everything." I mumble. Tears fall.

"Al, what are you talking about?" She asks.

"I'm a mess, because Hayes is with someone." I say to her.

"Why would you care Alex, if he's with someone?" She asks me. I look at my feet.

Was I ready for a secret to come out?

"I don't know. I shouldn't." I say.

"Did he tell you?" Rochelle asks.

"No. I heard Adam say it. He's been with her for years, she's from Hawaii." I cry.

"He never told me this, ever. He's supposed to be my best friend. It's my fault for that too" I say.

My head is buried in my hands. I can't look at Rochelle anymore, I'm too afraid of what's about to come out of my mouth.

"Rochelle. I did something, really bad"

The doorbell rings

We sit in silence

"I'm going to use the bathroom; can you get the door?" She asks.

I stand up and wipe my face one more time.

"Coming"

I open the door. It's Hayes.

He's standing in the doorway with a bag of chips, and candy. I cov-er my mouth.

I rush outside and throw up the ice cream, right on Rochelle's front lawn.

"What the fuck!" I yell.