You Said I Was Your Favorite: Chapter 44
We skipped school for the rest of the day, something I’ve never done in my life, and I can’t believe I don’t feel even a twinge of guilt over it. It’s impossible to worry for too long when I’ve got Arch distracting me.
Dragging me in and out of all of the cute shops downtown, trying to get me to pick something out so he can buy it for me. I don’t want anything. I’m perfectly content just spending time with my boyfriend.
Hmm. That’s going to take some getting used to.
“I like this necklace.” We’re in one of the stores that sells a variety of knickknacks including jewelry, and he’s standing over a glass display case, pointing.
I stop beside him, laughing when I see the charm on the necklace—a tiny letter A. “You would like it. That’s your initial.”
“You could wear my initial.” He glances down at me, smiling. “Then everyone would know you’re my girlfriend and that you belong to me.”
Thank God I’m gripping the edge of the counter. Otherwise, I’d swoon and faint, falling to the floor in a heap at the sweet look on his face and the words he just said.
“Does it matter if people know I’m yours or not?” I ask, my voice soft.
“Yeah, it does to me.” His tone is fierce, the look in his eyes possessive. “I want the whole world to know, Daze.”
He leans in and kisses me, his lips so soft and tender, I almost want to cry. It’s like he’s able to reach inside of me, grab hold of my heart and squeeze until I can’t take it anymore.
Eventually I convince him to leave the store without the necklace because I need nothing from him. Just his time.
That’s what means the most to me. We only have so much time on this earth and we have to make the most of it. Just basking in Arch’s presence calms me. Makes me feel special. Makes me feel…
Loved.
Eventually we end up going to the beach, not too far from campus, and we take a walk, the wind whipping against us, making it a struggle. We give up pretty quickly and end up back in his car in the parking lot. There’s no one else around since it’s in the middle of a weekday.
“The clouds are so dark,” I observe as I peer out the windshield, noting the storm heading toward us in the distance. “And that wind is fierce.”
It howls outside as if in answer, making Arch’s car rock.
“Gonna rain again.” He reaches for me, tugging, like he wants me closer but I don’t really budge. “How’s your face?”
The numbness has worn off mostly. “It hurts a little.”
“They prescribe you any painkillers?”
I shake my head. “No and I really wouldn’t take them if they did.”
There’s a glow in his eyes that leaves me fluttery inside. “Always such a good girl.”
“Drugs and alcohol aren’t my thing.” I wrinkle my nose.
“Funny because I’m pretty sure I’m addicted to you,” he says with utmost sincerity.
I burst out laughing. “That was so corny.”
“Look at me. I become your boyfriend and turn into a complete idiot.” He’s grinning, reaching for me again, and this time, I don’t resist.
I let him pull me into his lap, readjusting me so I’m straddling him. I curl my hands around his broad shoulders, my knees slipping so they’re on either side of his hips and when he tilts his head back, I lean in, pressing my forehead to his.
“Can I tell you something?” he asks.
“You can tell me anything,” I whisper, my heart aching at the truth of my statement.
I just want this boy to confide in me, to tell me everything that he thinks. His hopes and dreams. His worries and fears. I want to know all of it. All of him.
“You’re my favorite person in the whole world,” he admits, his gaze locked on mine. “If I could spend every minute with you, I would.”
“You’re my favorite too,” I whisper, my throat aching with the admission. It feels like we’re talking in code. As if we don’t want to say the biggest, most meaningful word to each other.
Yet.
“You scared me this morning.” His fingers are tangled in my hair and a soft murmur of appreciation escapes me when he combs it out. “I was worried about you.”
“I was—numb. Like I felt nothing.” And I’m so tired. Emotionally worn out. I could probably fall asleep like this if he keeps stroking my hair…
“I bet I could make you feel something,” he says, like my words are a dare.
And when he kisses me, I forget all about sleep. All I can focus on is the needy press of his lips. The easy way his tongue slips into my mouth, sliding against mine. I kiss him back with everything I have, trying to show him how much I appreciate him. Care about him.
I wish I could say it. I wish I could tell him I’ve fallen in love with him, but it’s so hard. So scary.
His hands fall to my hips, holding me in place as he continues to kiss me. I can feel him in between my thighs, hard and throbbing already, and I can’t help myself. I rock against him, pressing against his erection and he groans.
We kiss and kiss, drowning in each other, his hands slipping beneath my sweatshirt, fingers pressing into my bare skin. Now that we’ve had sex, he doesn’t hold back like he used to. His touch is bold, his hands moving up until they’re undoing the clasp on my bra, his fingers seeking as he brushes them against my nipples. I can’t stop shivering and when he tugs on one nipple extra hard, I whimper against his lips, surprisingly enjoying the pain.
He finally tears his mouth from mine, his breathing ragged, his hands still on my breasts. “I’m not fucking you in my car, Daze.”
I’m breathing hard as well and it takes me a few seconds to speak. “Why not?”
Arch leans back against the headrest, his lids at half-mast as he studies me. “First, I don’t have a condom, and second, I have a perfectly good bed we can make use of. Like we did yesterday.”
“Maybe I want to do it in the car.” It’s so hot in here and when I quickly glance over my shoulder, I notice the windshield is fogged up. “I don’t want to go back to campus.”
He’s frowning, his hands cupping my breasts, his thumbs brushing back and forth across my nipples. “Someone could catch us.”
“They’ll catch us wherever we are.” I lean in and kiss him, my tongue searching his mouth this time around and his hips lift a little, his erection pressing against me. “Let’s do it here.”
“Daisy…”
“Please.” I reach between us, my fingers brushing against his erection. “You can pull out right before you come.”
“Holy shit. You can’t say things like that.” He sounds like he’s in complete agony and I can’t help the tiny thrill that pulses through me. Knowing that I’m the reason he sounds like this. Feels like this.
It’s all because of me.
I’m already undoing the front of his uniform trousers, grateful he’s not wearing a belt. Makes it far easier for me to access him and when I slip my hand inside, my fingers drifting across the front of his cotton boxer briefs, a soft, breathy sigh escapes me. He’s so hard and thick and perfect.
Knowing he’s my boyfriend makes me bolder too. Like I have every right to touch him. He’s not stopping me either. Not when I pull down the front of his boxer briefs and expose him, making him hiss out a breath. Not when I curl my fingers around his shaft and begin to stroke. I don’t recognize who I am in this moment or what I’m becoming, but I like her.
I like me.
“Daze, Daze, Daze.” He locks his fingers around my wrist, stopping me, and when I look up at him, I find he’s watching me with a serious expression on his face. “You gotta stop.”
“Why?” I’m confused. Doesn’t he like this?
He licks his lips, his gaze wild. A little unfocused. “Because if you keep doing that, I’m gonna come all over your hand.”
Leaning in, I press my lips to his and say, “Maybe that’s what I want.”
I kiss him, essentially shutting him up, and we get a little lost in each other for a bit, until I feel his other hand on my shoulder, gently pushing me away so I have no choice but to break away from his lips.
“What the fuck, Daze?” He sounds bewildered, but I ignore his confusion and kiss him again. His fingers on my wrist slowly loosen and then I’m kissing his neck. Behind his ear. Breathing into his skin, stroking him, my pace increasing.
I have no real idea what I’m doing. I mean, we’ve been messing around for a while so I have a sense of it. I know what he likes. But I’m also winging it, just giving into my urges and letting myself do whatever I want.
Within reason of course.
“Baby, you gotta slow down,” he chokes out at one point, his hands returning to my hips, tugging down on the waistband of my sweatpants. His words don’t match his actions, but I don’t bring that to his attention.
Instead, I let him do it, inhaling sharply when he dives his hand down the front of my pants, his fingers brushing against my panties.
The next thing I know, I end up with my sweatpants pushed to my ankles and my panties tugged to the side. I’m rubbing against him, skin on skin, bathing the head of his cock with my wet heat and he’s groaning. And when just the tip slips inside me, I don’t hesitate.
I sink all the way down on him, ignoring the slight pinch of pain. My inner walls clamp tight around him, our bodies connected as one and I rise up, my lids cracking open to find he’s already watching me.
“Fuck,” he bites out as he flexes his hips. “You feel so good without a condom.”
I start to ride him, knowing this is reckless. The most reckless, impulsive thing I’ve ever done. If my father knew that I was having unprotected sex, he would be so disappointed. I’m taking a risk. Risking my future and Arch’s.
But right now, I’m too caught up in how good he feels to care.
We drive back to campus mostly in silence, but it isn’t uncomfortable or tense. More of a satisfied…quietness. A contentedness I haven’t felt in I don’t know how long. Arch is listening to a playlist, while I drift in and out of sleep, his hand rarely leaving where it rests on my thigh. His touch grounds me, reminds me that I have him in my corner, which I desperately need.
Eventually I give up on sleep and stare out the passenger side window, absently chewing on my lower lip. The closer we get to home, the more anxious I feel. I can’t ignore the nervous sensation swirling in my stomach, making me faintly nauseous.
I need to talk to my father and I don’t want to do it with Arch as a witness. My dad will be hostile toward him and it would all just fall apart. I need to try and reason with my dad first before I bring Arch into it. It’s going to take a while, but I’m patient.
I have to make this work.
“You okay?” Arch asks when we finally pull into the school parking lot.
“Nervous about seeing my dad.” I release a shaky breath, sending him a quick smile.
“It’ll work out,” he says with all the confidence I wish I felt. “He’ll listen to you and you’ll listen to him. He’ll apologize and so will you. And then all will be forgiven.”
“I hope so,” I whisper, glancing down at my lap to see my hands all twisted together. I unlink them, shaking them out, noting how sweaty my palms are.
We get out of the car and walk across campus. It’s late afternoon and it’s mostly empty. I’m searching in every corner for my father, hoping he’s with Kathy or preoccupied with a work task. I’d prefer him being at home waiting for me versus just stumbling upon him while I’m walking with Arch.
God, I really don’t know which scenario is worse. They’re all terrible.
“Want me to walk you to your door?” Arch asks when his building looms ahead of us.
I slowly shake my head. “I should probably go home alone. I don’t know how he’ll react, seeing you with me.”
Arch’s jaw visibly tightens and the scowl on his face is almost scary. “I hate that he doesn’t like me.”
“He just doesn’t know you,” I reassure him. “Once he actually spends some time with you, he’ll see just how great you are.”
“If he’ll even give me a chance to get to know me,” he mutters.
The skeptical look on Arch’s face says he doesn’t really believe me, but I try to ignore it, offering him a shaky smile. “Thank you for helping me today.”
He hauls me into his arms, kissing me without hesitation. “I would do anything for you, Daze. I hope you know that.”
I touch his jaw, and I swear I can feel the tension easing from him. Do I calm him down like he does for me? When things get rough, he’s the perfect person to have by my side. I never want to lose him.
Ever.
“I know,” I whisper, leaning up on tiptoe to kiss him one last time. “I’ll text you later.”
“You better.” He says it like he doesn’t believe I will, and I think of how I never texted him last night when I promised I would.
I hate breaking promises. Especially to Arch.
Reluctantly, we part ways and I head for my house, my stomach pitching and rolling like I’m on a freaking boat. I stand up straighter and increase my pace, faking confidence. Hoping it’ll turn into real confidence but my shoulders sag when I see that my father is outside, like he’s waiting for me. In the garden, a giant pair of clippers in his hand.
His gaze is directed on me as I approach and he looks away as if he’s disgusted, striding over to the rose bushes. Panic rises, clogging my throat, and I break out into a full run, not stopping until I’m standing between him and the line of rose bushes that belong to me.
I’m the one who nurtures them, not him. They’re mine.
“I know you were with him all day. Don’t bother denying it. I just saw the two of you together.” His face is contorted into an ugly mask to the point that he’s downright unrecognizable. “All day, Daisy. You skipped school! You never do that.”
“I had to go to the clinic. I needed stitches.” I point at my face, relieved when Dad drops his arm, the clippers hanging at his side. “Arch took me there. He helped me when I needed him.”
“He helped you screw around and forget all about your responsibilities. What about school? What about getting into college? Skipping school and getting behind is only making it tougher on yourself.” Dad’s tone is bitter. “I’m disappointed in you, Daisy Mae. You know how I feel about Arch Lancaster and yet you still ran away with him.”
The disappointed remark isn’t going to work on me like it did last time. His feelings about Arch don’t affect mine.
“What I don’t get is why you hate him so much. Maybe he wasn’t that nice to me at first, but he’s changed. He cares about me. I know he does.” I glare at him, wishing he would actually listen to me. “Us not being at school had nothing to do with ‘screwing around,’ as you call it. I needed to see a doctor.”
Dad’s mouth sets into a firm line, his displeasure more than obvious. “I would’ve taken you. It’s my duty to take you—you’re my daughter. At the very least, you should’ve seen the nurse on campus first and gotten permission to leave and see a doctor.”
“Why bother when she would’ve sent me to the doctor anyway? What’s done is done. I don’t know why we’re arguing about it.” I try to walk past him but he shifts to the side, blocking me from going any farther. “Daddy, please. I want to go inside. I need to take a shower.”
“No. You listen to me.” His voice lowers and when I meet his gaze, I physically recoil. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my father look so…mean. “You two are done. I forbid you from seeing that boy.”
What? “But—”
“No buts. And I don’t have to give you an explanation. I’m your father and I know what’s best for you. And I don’t care to hear you defending him either. If you’d only open your eyes, you would see he’ll bring you nothing but trouble. Look at you now. You start hanging around him and you’ve turned into a different person. I still can’t believe your attitude last night. I don’t even recognize you anymore.”
I feel the exact same way about him. Who is this man, and what has he done with my thoughtful father? “You’re the one who cut my roses—”
“They were going to die anyway!” He inhales sharply, averting his gaze. Like he can’t stand to look at me. “You’re being ridiculous. Way too focused on the damn roses when they’re not the issue. They’ve never been the issue. That boy is the problem, Daisy. You just can’t see it.”
He’s too stubborn to see that Arch makes me happy. That he’s bringing me out of my shell and helping me discover I can stand up for myself. “Why can’t you trust me? It’s like you don’t even think I’m capable of making my own decisions.”
“When it comes to him, I don’t trust you. You’re too dazzled by his wealth and his good looks. You can’t see beyond that. The boy has faults. Lots of them,” Dad mutters.
“Don’t we all?” I ask incredulously. “And that’s not true.” I can’t deny that Arch is gorgeous but it’s more than that. He’s more than that. “I like him for more than his face. He’s a good person.”
“Who’s using you,” he practically spits.
“How? He doesn’t need to use me. He could have any girl he wants and he chose me. Because he cares about me.”
“He uses you for—sex.” He bites out the last word with disgust.
My entire body flushes with embarrassment at my father uttering that word. Like that’s all my relationship with Arch is about and nothing else. He doesn’t understand.
He most likely never will.
“This is the last time we’ll have this conversation.” My father’s voice breaks through the silence. “I forbid you from seeing Arch Lancaster. End of story.”
I glare at him, my chest aching, the tears threatening yet again. I am so tired of crying. “You can’t make me stop seeing him.”
“Oh yes, I can. I’m your father and as long as you live in my house, I have every right to tell you what you can and cannot do. If I have to, I’ll even go to Matthews myself and tell him that Lancaster is harassing my daughter. Matthews will make his life a living hell for the rest of the year. Might even kick him out of school.”
Shock courses through me, leaving me breathless. “You wouldn’t.”
“I would.” The determination that appears on his face is downright frightening. “Don’t test me.”
“You would lie to get rid of Arch?”
“I would do whatever it takes to protect you from harm, and that’s all he’ll bring you. You just can’t see it. See how terrible he is. He’s a horrible person, sweetheart. Mark my words if I let this continue, he will ruin you. Now go inside.”
The tears fall from my eyes and streak down my cheeks soundlessly. I just stare at my father in disbelief, my mind scrambling, unable to come up with a response.
He nods curtly, stepping aside so I can head into the house. “Someday you’ll thank me for this.”
Thank him for destroying the one good thing that has ever happened to me?
I don’t think so.