Would You Rather: A Novel

Mia couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss in the tree house. Sure, she’d made progress, thinking about it only when she got into bed at night rather than every hour on the hour.

But seriously, what had it meant, if anything?

And what should she do about it?

She’d been sitting firmly in the “do nothing” camp for the last several weeks by not bringing it up. Still, she thought about it with alarming frequency.

She couldn’t quite believe she’d initiated it, but with the way he’d described his kiss to her? There was no way she could have let that pass her by. It had sounded thrilling and scandalous, and turned out to be both. The way her body—and heart—had responded, it was as if she was meant to be in his arms with her lips on his, all day and all night and forever.

Stupid, stupid, stupid woman.

She’d worked damn hard to keep her thoughts about Noah platonic all these years. Had convinced herself she didn’t want more, and never would. She’d always encouraged him to see other women, despite knowing when he finally settled down with someone else it would hurt. A lot.

It did, in fact. He’d had a few girlfriends over the years, and even if none had gotten superserious, her days were darker when he wasn’t around, like someone had put a black-and-white filter on her life. She’d never let him see it, though, and made sure she seemed supportive on the outside.

It was for the best.

She was more certain of that than ever, now that she’d kissed him. Really kissed him. Noah Agnew was the one person who’d tempted her to amend her stance on relationships, but he was also the biggest reason she’d built her walls so high. He’d already adjusted his life so much for her. More than she should have allowed. She couldn’t live with herself if she saddled him with her illness forever.

It had only been five weeks since they got married and already she was feeling things. Dangerous things. And not only was that not in her plan, he wasn’t into her that way. He’d made his feelings toward her clear all those years ago, and they’d had a lovely, fulfilling friendship since.

He was a man, after all, and had simply gotten carried away that night. She’d basically jumped on him, for goodness’ sake. Few guys would put a stop to that.

She had to be more careful.

Stop. Thinking. About. It.

She shook her head and looked around, taking in the beauty around her. It was the first week of June and her summer class had started today. It was only one credit hour and geared toward reintroducing scholarship recipients to life as a college student. But she was just so happy to be back on a college campus that she hung around after class to share coffee with some new friends. They’d left the Student Union a half hour ago, but she wasn’t quite ready to go home. She leisurely wandered the campus, taking in the sophisticated redbrick buildings and perfectly manicured green lawns, feeling excited and energized.

But then she remembered the last time she’d done this, and who had been with her. Once again she was back to Noah.

Her last day at Agnew Design Group had been yesterday, and she’d cried when Noah carried the box of her things to her car. Worse, that evening when they got home, she had a little breakdown, freaking out about school and quitting her job, and everything changing. Noah had sat beside her the entire time, soothing her with his presence and calmly talking through her fears without dismissing them.

The woman who snagged him one day would be lucky. Damn lucky, in fact, now that Mia knew what it was like to kiss him.

No, wait, not thinking about that. Focusing on school.

Moving on.

No problem whatsoever.

When she got home that evening, Noah took her to Wings To Go to celebrate, even though it seemed silly to make a big deal of it. She was thirty and it was a one-hour summer school course. But he’d insisted, and as he held the door open for her to enter the restaurant, she couldn’t wipe the smile from her face.

“Hey, Mia!” Steve called from behind the counter.

Noah chuckled and whispered, “First name basis?”

She elbowed him in the ribs. Weekly visits had ensured she’d become good friends with the adorable older couple who owned the restaurant. “How’s it going, Steve?”

“Good, good.” The man’s smile was happy and familiar, but his brow furrowed a little when he took in Noah beside her. He looked pointedly at him, then back at her.

Yeah, she usually came by herself. Did they have to make a big deal of it?

Steve cleared his throat. Looked at Noah again.

Mia pursed her lips. “Steve, this is my fr—uh. I mean, this is Noah. He’s, um. My husband.”

She loved Steve, but he was gonna embarrass her for sure.

“Your what?”

She sighed. “You heard me.”

“Paula!” Steve yelled. “Get out here. Mia’s here and she brought a husband with her.”

She leaned into Noah’s shoulder. “Maybe we should just go.”

His arm shook beneath her forehead as he laughed.

Steve’s wife was beside him in seconds. “What? Whose husband did she bring?” Her eyes alighted on Noah and she immediately smoothed the graying auburn hair around her face.

Mia looked to Noah for help, but he just watched her with amusement.

Her face heated. “Mine.”

Paula grabbed Steve’s arm. “Steve, did you hear that? Mia’s husband!” She leaned across the counter and grabbed Noah’s hand. “How wonderful to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Noah said.

Steve gently pulled his wife’s hand back. “You’ve got quite the lady here, Noah. She’s everyone’s favorite around this place.”

“I don’t doubt that for a second.”

“Oh look, Steve,” Paula said. “She’s blushing.”

“Don’t call attention to it, dear.”

“You never say things that make me blush.”

Steve leaned over and whispered something in his wife’s ear, and her face did indeed turn a deep shade of red.

Mia giggled.

Noah took her hand, and she immediately stopped, her breath catching in her throat.

“So is this recent?” Paula asked. “Or have you been keeping this handsome man a secret from us?”

“It’s been a little over a month,” Mia said. Noah’s fingers were large and warm, and his thumb shifted across her skin, sending a shiver up her arm.

“Newlyweds,” Paula cried. “Congratulations!”

“Dinner’s on us,” Steve said. “We insist. What can we get for you?”

“I can’t decide. Pick something for me, Paula.”

“What about you, Noah?” Steve asked.

“Plain for me, please.”

An identical knowing look settled on Steve’s and Paula’s faces.

“Of course. You’re the ten-piece plain.” Paula pinched her husband. “I told you Mia wasn’t eating all those wings. You never believed me.”

Mia laughed. “This entire time you thought they were all for me?”

Steve shrugged. “I’m here to sell chicken, not pass judgment.”

“Well. Even if the marriage is new, you two have been together a long time, then.” Paula’s smile was wide as she waggled her eyebrows up and down. “And he sure is handsome. Well done, my girl. How come you never brought him in before?”

“She probably didn’t want you flirting with him,” Steve muttered good-naturedly.

“Oh, stop.” Paula made her way back to the kitchen. “I’m a happily married woman. Just like Mia.”

Noah pulled his wallet from his back pocket. “Are you sure I can’t…?”

Steve shook his head. “No, sir, put that away. Congratulations from us to you.”

“Thank you.”

“We’ll bring it out when it’s ready.”

Noah squeezed her hand and as they headed to the small dining area, a man who looked to be in his fifties walked in.

“Hi, Mia!”

“Hi, Tom,” she said with a smile.

The man kept moving to the counter and Noah leaned down. “Another regular?”

“Sort of. I was behind him in line at Trader Joe’s a few weeks ago,” she said as they found a table. “We bonded over our mutual love of oat milk. He said he’d just moved to town and wanted to know good places to get takeout. I’ve seen him here a few times since.”

They sat across from one another and he met her gaze, his blue eyes even more striking next to the bright window. “You charm everyone you meet, don’t you?”

“Pretty much.”

He grinned. “Humility looks good on you.”

“Oh wait,” she said, holding up a finger. “One person doesn’t like me.”

“Who?”

“David.”

His expression hardened. “I really wish you’d said something to me about that sooner.”

“I don’t need you to protect me, Noah.”

His jaw went taut and he fixed his eyes on something through the window.

A ringtone came from his pocket, and he pulled his phone from his jeans. He looked at the screen and then his gaze flicked to hers, returning to his phone almost immediately. He silenced the call and slid it back into his pocket. He looked…guilty?

“A lady friend?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he snapped.

She settled back in her chair, then frowned as something dawned on her. “You know, I’ve always tried so hard not to get in the way of your love life. I know it’s hard for someone new to come along when a man and a woman are as close as we are. I always wanted to make sure I didn’t hinder you.” She laughed, even though nothing about it was funny. “Then I went and did it, anyway. Put a ring on it and everything.”

Noah just looked at her for a few seconds, a muscle flexing in his cheek. “Actually, I bought the rings.”

Did he regret what they’d done?

“I’m sorry, Noah.”

He leaned forward a little, his voice low. “Don’t. Don’t say you’re sorry, don’t thank me. Stop all of it. I mean it.”

She blinked, surprised by his tone.

He closed his eyes for a beat and sighed, maintaining his forward posture. “Mia, no matter what you call us—spouse, roommate, best friend—you’re one of the most important people in my life. End of story.”

Heat spread up her neck as his blue eyes roamed her face.

“You’re blushing again.”

“Yeah, when did that start?” she said, trying to sound flippant. “I think the ring went to my head.”

He chuckled, and the tension seemed to lighten a fraction. “Thirty bucks well spent.”

“Promise me when you find a real wife, you’ll find a girl who’s okay with me still being in your life. I know it will be different, but I can’t give you up completely.”

“I will if you will.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m never getting married. You know this.”

He cocked a brow and lifted his left hand, the black ring a contrast against his skin.

“You know what I mean,” she said.

He shrugged. “Maybe you’ll change your mind. Think of this like a trial run. I’ll give you a report at the end on what it’s like being your husband. Maybe you’ll realize how ridiculous you’re being.”

“Are we talking about this again?”

“You brought it up.”

Mia kicked his shoe. “You drive me crazy.”

“Same.” Something about the look in his eyes when he said it sent a tingle down her spine.

She dropped her eyes to the table and brushed it off. “So how was work today? Without me?”

“Quiet. And safe.”

Mia laughed. “I should have taught the new girl how to put tape on the bottom of your mouse and remove the handles from your desk drawers.”

“A missed opportunity, for sure.”

“You’re gonna be so bored.”

“Or more productive.”

Another couple passed their table, and Mia briefly broke eye contact. “True. You’ll get that promotion for sure. They’ll be blown away by the work you can get done without me distracting you.” She grinned. “Hey, I feel a little less guilty now.”

Noah frowned a little. “James mentioned the position the other day. He said he’s looking forward to discussing it more after my dad retires.”

“What? Noah, that’s incredible. Why aren’t you more excited?”

“It’s not guaranteed to be mine. David’s gonna go hard for it, too.”

She waved a hand. “You definitely deserve the position over him. You managed twice the number of projects he did last year.” Plus, she’d overheard several of the other architects comment on David’s propensity for laziness and lack of attention to detail.

“He had a few extensive projects that turned out really well.”

“So did you.”

He shrugged and folded his arms across his chest. “So how was class today?”

The excitement that rushed through her was the only reason she allowed the blatant subject change. “Good. There are fifteen of us. We went around the room and talked a little about ourselves. Why we’re coming back to school and the degrees we’re pursuing, that kind of thing. I had coffee with some classmates and walked around campus afterward.” And thought about you. Did he remember walking the campus with her when they were eighteen? “It was fun.”

“That’s awesome.” His hands dropped to his lap. “I’m happy for you.”

“Me too.”

Paula appeared at the table with their food, directing a megawatt smile in Noah’s direction. He smiled back.

“Thank you. I hope you’ll forgive me for being so unadventurous when it comes to food.”

“Oh pish.” Paula flicked her wrist. “Consistency in a man is one of the best qualities.”

Noah raised his brows and looked at Mia. “Did you hear that, honey? One of the best qualities.”

Mia crossed her eyes at him and couldn’t help but grin. “How long have you and Steve been married?”

Paula beamed with pride. “Thirty-five years this spring.”

“Wow,” Noah said.

“That’s awesome. Good for you two.”

“He drives me crazy sometimes,” Paula said dryly. “Especially since we work together. But I love that man to the moon and back.”

Mia glanced at Noah and found his eyes on her face, soft and contemplative. He didn’t look away when he said, “Hey, Paula. If you could give us newlyweds once piece of advice for a long, happy marriage, what would it be?”

“That’s easy. Never stop showing affection.” She winked. “You’d be surprised how much a simple touch can mean to someone you love.”