Winter: A time for love and revenge

Sometimes, in a friendship, there was that one moment that changed everything and how you saw them. That moment when you realized you had feelings for them that were the furthest from platonic you could be. For me, that moment happened over the summer.

Aspen and I have been best friends since his family moved onto packlands when he turned thirteen and began shifting. Like many of our kind, he and his family had previously lived among the humans. It was a common practice that helped ensure we’d easily be able to blend in with the humans and be able to socialize with them.

I lived among them until I was eight, when my older sister began shifting, and we moved onto packlands.

We’d become fast friends and were inseparable. For the next seven years, I never saw him as anything but a friend.

The moment that everything changed wasn’t this big moment or anything. We were sitting on the sofa in the house he shared with some of our friends, watching a movie. I still couldn’t understand how it happened. One moment, everything was normal. We were joking around and arguing about a plot hole, and the next thing I knew, I was looking at him, seeing him in a new light as butterflies fluttered in my stomach. His head was back against the cushion as he laughed at something I said, and it was like I had never truly seen him before until this moment.

After that, I saw him in a new light and could no longer go back to seeing him in the platonic friendship way again. I tried multiple times and even tried ignoring my feelings in the hopes it went away, but the denial route got me nowhere. In spite of my best efforts, my feelings had somehow grown.

Because I was a werewolf, I had a possessive streak like no other. Every time I saw a girl flirting with him or smelled their scent on him, I wanted to claw their fucking eyes out. It was amazing I didn’t. It was also amazing how I managed to keep this a secret from him. Most likely, it was only because I had still been trying the denial route.

A part of the denial route was attempting to fuck other guys to forget about him, which worked for a few weeks before it became more of a chore than anything else. Other guys just simply lost their appeal to me. It wasn’t like I had the excuse of Aspen being my mate in a true mating—your wolf knew as soon as you met them.

Someday soon, I would have to face these feelings head-on and either find a way to get over them or tell Aspen. He had a right to know that I had feelings for him and that his casual touches had me reacting in ways he hadn’t intended. Like right now, when he joined me on the sofa and wrapped an arm around my shoulders as he pulled me against his side.

I turned my head toward him and buried my face against his shoulder. It was an instinct to inhale his comforting scent and absorb the comfort that came from being in physical contact with him, especially after being apart most of the night and all the carnage I’d seen. Even though he checked in multiple times throughout the night—the conversations were brief, and since I didn’t want to distract him, I hadn’t asked any questions—it still wasn’t the same as seeing him in person and seeing he was safe.

As I inhaled his scent, I found traces of blood: some of it was clearly shapeshifter blood, but I also recognized some of it as belonging to him. I pulled back enough to give him a look over, starting at his disheveled, short black hair and down to his gray shirt that was stained with his blood. The stain was on his left side and was small, but it still had my protective instincts going into overdrive.

“What happened? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. You should see the other guy,” Aspen said with a light chuckle as he caught my wrist, preventing me from lifting his shirt to gauge the size and severity of the wound—if it was still bleeding, it must’ve been a deep wound initially. Despite Aspen’s joke, I found shadows in his light green eyes and knew he’d been as affected by what he saw as I was.

The conversations around us came to an abrupt end, making us look to the entrance of the living room—which was tightly packed with all of us, and this wasn’t even the entire pack. Haden, the beta of our pack, stood before us, looking as rough as we felt. His bright red hair, sprinkled with bits of gray, was in disarray. Blood stained his clothes from his healing wounds. His expression was drawn and somber, and the slight slump to his shoulders spoke of how exhausted he was.

“Not only was our Alpha murdered tonight by a pack of shapeshifters, but nineteen of your fellow packmates were as well, along with the sixteen injured.” Haden paused, taking a deep breath as he struggled to rein in his emotions. “This is unacceptable. They came onto our land and killed members of our pack on our night. Mark my words: we will deal with this and make whoever devised this plan pay for what they’ve done.”

“What about the alpha’s heir? Will he now take over?” Someone asked from the entryway to the kitchen. Many had to stand to fit in the room. The many sofas and chairs had way more sitting on them than there ever should be. I was half sitting in Aspen’s lap, so I wasn’t squashed between him and Adalind.

The heir in question was Mitchell’s oldest son, Sebastian. Most heirs, when they turned eighteen, spent the next seven years visiting other packs to learn their ways and their different leadership styles. It was also a way to cultivate alliances and for them to meet the future alphas of the packs.

Sebastian had been scheduled to return in February to begin studying under his father in preparation for him to take over.

“I’ve contacted him and made him aware of the situation. As we speak, he is making plans to return as soon as he can. Until then, all we can do is get some rest.” Haden paused at the chorus of groans and complaints. When the protests didn’t end, he held up a pale hand until everyone quieted. “We have a few shapeshifters in custody, but they’re still unconscious and in no state to be questioned. There’s nothing to be done for now, and in this state, we’re all easy targets. The best thing for us to do is sleep. Sheriff Michaels and his deputies have arrived, and they’ll keep watch.”

Low scoffs ran through the group—not many, but it was enough to be annoying—making me roll my eyes. While Derek may be human, as were his deputies, he was raised knowing about supernaturals and the ins and outs of our world. He was trained on how to fight and handle each species, learning each of our weaknesses. He knew how to survive in our world and had seen firsthand the dangers that hid from the light. It was a dumbass move for any of us to underestimate him simply because he was human.

“Make whatever adjustments you need to your schedule. As of now, I want all of you to remain on packlands until we have a new Alpha,” Haden said, ignoring the insult toward Derek. After looking over the crowd to make sure we all understood, he exited the living room, all but dismissing us.

As soon as Haden left the room, conversations immediately started back up, the living room a cacophony of sounds as everyone began filing out, either heading up toward the bedrooms in the packhouse that was mainly only used the day after a full moon or back to their houses sprinkled throughout the forest.

Now that the sofa was almost empty, I was able to stretch, letting out a low groan as I did so. My body was not only stiff from sitting for so long without moving but also being cramped on the sofa.

“Tired from all those hours of standing around babysitting while the rest of us did all the hard work?” Cass asked as he came over to join us. I hadn’t seen him during the meeting and figured he must’ve gotten here late. Like Aspen, he hadn’t been on little one’s duty, even though he too, was around my age. He showed signs of having fought shapeshifters, with a healing scratch down his left cheek.

I flipped him off before shoving his shoulder. “Fuck off. You can be such an asshole sometimes.”

Cass chuckled as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in for a side hug. Unlike with Aspen, the contact with Cass was completely platonic. The way it had been and should still be with Aspen.

Before I could come up with an insult for him, Lindsay joined our group, all but shoving me away from Cass as she placed her hands on his chest. “I can’t believe they attacked us tonight. I was so afraid the entire night.”

“Here we go,” I muttered, not bothering to drop my voice since I didn’t care if she heard me. Aspen let out a low, rumbling chuckle, placing a hand on my shoulder as if I would attack her, which I wouldn’t…probably.

Lindsay ignored me as she trailed a finger down his chest. “I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to fall asleep now.” Lindsay’s voice was coy and pitched in a low tone that I assumed she thought was sexy, but all it made me think was how fake she was acting.

Cass’ body had tensed the moment she touched him, and it was clear he wasn’t in the mood to deal with her. He caught her wrist before she could trail her hand down his stomach. “You’ll manage,” he said, his tone icy as he pulled her hand away and stepped back.

“Cass—” Lindsay pouted as she reached for him again, her voice high-pitched and whiny.

“No. I already told you we’re over, and I meant it. Excuse me,” Cass said, his focus no longer on Lindsay but on someone in the crowd of those leaving the room. Without sparing her another glance, he went to brush past her, catching her wrists when she reached for him again and placing them at her sides. The way her mouth hung open as she stared at him had me losing my battle against holding back my laughter. Not that I tried all too hard.

The glare Lindsay sent my way had me laughing even harder than before. Aspen’s hand moved from my shoulder to the middle of my back as he guided me away from her. “I can’t take you anywhere,” he muttered, his words marred by the grin tugging at his lips.

I let out an indignant gasp as I let him lead me out of the living room. “Hey, I didn’t say or do anything.”

“Mhm.” He threw an arm over my shoulders, pulling me close to his side. It took some serious work on my part to try and keep my reactions to him at a minimum. I don’t think I was entirely successful, but hopefully, he wasn’t paying attention. Just because our senses were stronger than humans, it didn’t mean we always paid attention and used them to their full extent.

“I still can’t believe he dated her as long as she did,” I muttered in an attempt to pull my focus off of Aspen.

Lindsay and Cass dated for almost five months before he broke up with her, seemingly out of the blue. I figured he finally saw through her bullshit facade and realized what a bitch she was. Whatever the case, Lindsay had yet to accept it even though he broke up with her over two months ago.

“Umm.” My steps faltered when Aspen began guiding me up the stairs.

Aspen raised a dark eyebrow as he glanced down at me in confusion. “You want to go all the way to your parent’s house?”

My parent’s house was over twenty minutes away from the packhouse, and the thought of walking all that way made me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I could easily drive, but even driving was too much effort for me. This wouldn’t be the first time I slept in Aspen’s room when I was too tired to go to my parent’s house—but that was back when I only saw him as a friend.

The thought of sharing a bed with him had me equal parts excited and nervous. It was stupid, I knew that. I’ve been intimate with plenty of men, and yet here I was, nervous about sharing a bed with a guy.

I didn’t protest as he led me to the second floor, both because it would make him suspicious, but also because it was safer for me to be in the packhouse rather than out in the forest. Here, we had safety in numbers.

The bedrooms weren’t all too big, at least most of them weren’t. For those who permanently lived in the house, namely the Alpha, his beta, and other high-ranking members, their bedrooms were said to be big, with their own bathroom.

For those who only used their room for the nights of the full moon, their room was the definition of the bare minimum. There was a bed, a nightstand, and a dresser. Even the decorations on the walls were sparse.

The bed had a gray comforter and was just barely big enough for the two of us. While we could comfortably fit, there wasn’t much room to spread out, at least not without touching him. I’d never noticed this before, like many things, but it was now all I could think about. Sleep was already going to be an elusive bitch after everything I witnessed tonight, and this only made it worse. It took me over an hour until I finally relaxed enough to fall asleep.