Wilder (The Renegades Book 1)

Mykonos

He was insane. That was the only reason I could come up with for why he would do this to himself. Any one of these people could have messed with the zip-line rigs, or weakened his chest protector, and he was putting his life in their hands. Again. Watching him yesterday was hard enough, but this was torturous. He started his umpteenth run at the ramp—I’d lost count of how many it had been—and I held my breath as he went flying, tumbling through space, until he landed closer to the full rotation in the foam pit. Thank God the sun would be going down soon, because I wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take, let alone how much more I could stomach.

Penna leaned over the foam pit, analyzing what had worked, as Little John moved the crane to lift him out.

Paralyzed. The only other person was paralyzed.

Over a stupid trick.

Yep, insane. That was the only answer.

I flipped another page in Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet and tried to pay attention, but it was useless. We’d already missed a couple of each class, and I didn’t even want to think about what it was going to take to catch us both up, but I was going to have to.

Paxton couldn’t afford to have anything else on his mind while he was hunting death.

Paralyzed. Ugh. I slammed the book and threw it on the blanket. All over a stupid documentary that he said was the least they could do for someone else. What would even possess him to want to try something that had done that to someone else…unless…

I sat up, watching the dynamic between the three of them, Landon, Paxton, and Penna. There was an empty space between them, like someone was missing from the conversation—because he was.

Because the fourth Original wasn’t taking time off. Nick had to have been the one hurt. He was the one paralyzed.

That’s why Paxton was so hell-bent on getting the trick down. Was he doing it to show up the friend who’d stolen the only girl he’d ever cared about? I doubted it. Paxton wasn’t that petty.

But the evidence suggested otherwise.

Add to all of that the nagging feeling in my stomach that not everyone here had Paxton’s safety as a priority, and I was a bundle of nausea.

When he blew me a kiss, I wrapped my arms around my knees and forced a smile. This was the last place I wanted to be, waiting for disaster to strike, but if I left it would distract him, and possibly bring on said disaster. I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.

So I stayed.

My breath froze in my chest as he came barreling down the track, driving at the ramp faster than I’d ever seen him go before. He launched higher, and my teeth sank into my lower lip, as he flipped once…twice…three times…

And landed on both wheels in the foam pit.

The celebration began at once, the crew all whooping with arms raised. Paxton didn’t wait for the crane, just climbed out of the pit, jumping to the ground and ripping off his helmet mid-run.

Exhilaration burst through me like a joyful shock to the heart. He’d done it!

I was in his arms before I even realized that I’d stood. His mouth found mine, kissing me with both of his hands tangled in my hair. My arms were around his neck, and I held on for dear life, well aware of how dangerous everything was around him, knowing I had to savor each kiss, never waste any of them.

“You did it!” I yelled as he swung me around in his arms.

“Not quite, but almost,” he said, laughing, punctuating his comment with another kiss.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“He has to actually land it on the dirt and ride off, now,” Landon answered, smacking him on the back. “That was amazing!”

Yeah, I was right.

They were both insane.

…

Fuck. This.

How long was he going to keep this up?

Day two of watch-Paxton-try-to-kill-himself, and our last day on Mykonos, had me camped out on a separate area of the track. They’d moved the ramp, which had taken hours, and packed dirt higher on the mound Paxton was supposed to land on.

Except he’d skidded out more than he’d landed it.

Every time he hit the dirt, I felt the crash in my bones, the scrapes on my own skin. I rubbed my hands over my bare arms as he picked up the bike again, giving me the thumbs-up.

When the hell did I get to give the thumbs-down?

Selfishly, I was exhausted. My eyes tracked every motion around Paxton, watching to see if someone messed with him, the bike, the ramp, the crane…all of it. It had to be someone close to him, someone familiar with the gear and his routines. We’d ruled out Little John last night over a quiet dinner—after all, the rigs had been found on board, and Little John hadn’t been on the ship since Miami.

That only left every other Renegade to question.

“It’s not easy to watch, is it?” Brooke said, sitting down next to me.

“Hey, when did you get here?” I asked.

She shielded her eyes from the sun with her hand. “This morning. I had to do some tech work on the website and the channel. We’ve been hacked a few times since we set sail, and a bunch of the videos were taken down.”

“Do they know?” I motioned to where Paxton was discussing the last jump with Landon and Penna.

“Yeah, Penna’s the one who asked me to look at it. I used to run all their site stuff before they blew up big, and she’s not quick to trust people, even if she’s paying them to maintain the site.”

A sick feeling settled in my stomach. “Do you think it’s malicious? The videos coming down?”

She shrugged. “I’m not skilled enough to tell you that. I don’t know. But I can say that there are a ton of worse things they could have done in there than just take down some videos.”

As a single incident, the site hacking didn’t seem too bad, but when combined with the mishaps with Paxton, it was adding up to something that had my stomach twisted in knots. Plus, if Pax knew, why hadn’t he told me? Because you would have screamed until he shut down the practice. “Right.”

I was going to hand his ass to him later.

“It’s probably some stupid hacker kids out for bragging rights or something. I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” she finished. “Are they done for the day?”

“They shouldn’t be, it’s not even lunch—” The words died on my tongue as Paxton stripped off his chest protector and then the Under Armour beneath it, leaving his torso deliciously bare. Sweat ran down the carved lines, making his tan skin glisten in the sunlight. The nasty bruise along the side of his rib cage was turning green, but even that didn’t detract from his appeal. He could probably radiate sex in a full body cast.

All it took was one look in my direction and my body was humming, despite the fact that he’d made love to me before breakfast.

Or rather…I’d been breakfast.

He grinned as he walked up to us. His blue eyes held me captive as he bent to kiss me. “You look good enough to eat.”

I raised an eyebrow, and he laughed. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who had this morning on the brain. “Well, I think we should probably get you some lunch, don’t you?” I asked.

His eyes dropped to my lips, and he lifted me out of my chair by my waist, pulling me against his chest. “Are you offering?”

Yes. “No. I meant food. Real food. The kind that fuels that body you’re torturing out there.”

“Oh, you fuel me, Firecracker.” He kissed me again, and I nearly forgot where we were.

“You two are nauseating. Cute, but vomit-worthy,” Penna said from behind him. “Let’s get going; our reservation is in about thirty minutes.”

“Reservation?” I asked.

“I’m taking you to lunch,” Paxton answered. “So if you’ll go with Penna, I’ll hop in the shower real fast.”

“It’s a group date,” Landon added.

“A group date,” I parroted. “I didn’t realize anyone else was seeing anyone,” I mused out loud.

“Oh, well, you date one of us, you kind of get us all,” Penna said with a grin.

“That’s a show I’d pay to watch,” Landon said with a wiggle of his eyebrows in our direction…until he caught Paxton’s death glare. “You know… I think I’ll go wait on the plane.”

“Plane?” I looked up at my boyfriend. Boyfriend. How amazing is that?

“I didn’t want our first official date to be ordinary,” he said with a soft kiss on my forehead.

“Oh, nothing with you could ever be ordinary.” I laughed.

“Thank you.”

I tilted my head. “I’m not sure that was a compliment.”

He held my face in his hands and kissed me softly. “Wait and see what I have planned for us.”

…

“You want me to what?” I asked a few hours later, standing on a hilltop in Zakynthos, over three hundred miles away from Mykonos.

“BASE jump,” Paxton said, positively giddy.

“You want me to jump off a thousand-foot cliff? Are you out of your mind? I don’t even know how to operate a parachute.” No way. No freaking way.

He brought my hands up to his heart, as if the beat would reassure me. Damn it, he was right. “First, it’s actually only nine hundred feet, and we’d go tandem—together. I’ll work everything, and you’ll just enjoy the ride.”

All around us, the Renegades were strapping on their harnesses and parachutes. Little John was even helping Brooke into one.

“You’re doing this?” I asked her.

“Hell yes. This is Navagio Beach—one of the most epic sites ever. I’ll never get an opportunity to try this again. Besides, I’ll pull the cord so fast that there won’t be much free fall, just the view.”

“Insane. You’re all insane.”

“I told you this was a bad idea, that it wasn’t fair to make her do this,” Penna said quietly enough that only Paxton and I could hear. “Leah, if you want to walk down, I’m with you all the way.”

Paxton shot her a look. “Point noted. I’d never make her jump.”

I shook my head. “This feels like a death wish.”

“I’ll second that,” Little John said as he brought our harnesses over. “Bobby is going to kill you when he realizes you ditched the cameras on this one.”

“Why would you do that?” I asked. “This is exactly the kind of epic stuff you need for the documentary.”

His features softened, and he kissed me. “Because a beautiful girl once told me that not everything epic was meant for a worldwide audience.”

Okay, that was good. “Well, an insanely hot guy argued that.”

His heart-stopping smile stole my breath. “He still does. Epic stunts are meant to be seen by the world.”

“Then why leave the cameras?”

His knuckles brushed the underside of my jaw. “Because my whole world is already right here, watching.”

Excuse me while I reform from the puddle I melted into. I sighed and looked around at everyone snapping on their helmets.

“Okay, if I were to agree to this absolute lunacy, what would happen?”

I swore to God that I nearly saw him fist-pump.

“I packed our parachute and put together our harnesses, so everything is as safe as can be.”

“When did you have time to do that?”

“Last night after you fell asleep. You know…after round two.”

Landon snorted next to us, and I smacked Paxton’s chest with the back of my hand. “Seriously?”

He shrugged. “Hey, you asked. Anyway, you’ll be strapped to my chest, and we’ll jump off. As soon as we’re clear of the rocks, I’ll pull the chute. The winds are great today, so they’ll carry us straight down to the beach.”

I peeked over the side of the cliff. “And that giant shipwreck down there?”

“We’ll miss it. Trust me, Leah. I’m really good at this. Ridiculously good at this, as a matter of fact.”

“Well, you don’t need your ego stroked,” I said, my nerves kicking into high gear.

“I can think of other things that like to be stroked,” he whispered into my ear.

“Not funny,” I spat back. “Parasailing is one thing, but you’re asking me to jump off a cliff, Pax. Think about it.”

He led me away from the group. “I know. This is what runs through your nightmares, right? Because I’ve seen a couple of them now.”

I stiffened. Shit, I guess the one last night hadn’t been as quiet as I’d hoped. “I’m s—”

“Don’t you dare apologize. We’re in this together now, you and I. You asked me to help you get over your fear, and that’s what I’m trying to do. That’s why the cameras aren’t here.”

My heart jumped, then pounded, beating an obnoxious rhythm in my temples. “What if I can’t do this?”

He pulled me against his chest, one arm wrapped around my back and the other stroking my face. “I’ll be with you. All you have to do is find the courage to say yes. I’ll do the rest. And if you can’t do it, then we’ll walk back down and meet the others on the boat.”

“But you’d miss your chance to do it.”

“For this trip, sure. But the beach isn’t going anywhere. You have to know that you’re more important to me than this. Whatever you decide, I’ll be okay with.”

“We wouldn’t fall for long?” Was I actually considering this? Crap, I guess I was. After all, hadn’t I asked him to help me? The whole purpose of this trip had been to step outside my comfort zone—to live—and this was definitely living…if it didn’t kill me.

“No, just long enough to clear the rocks.”

“One in twenty BASE jumpers dies. That’s according to a 2014 study by—”

His mouth stopped my rambling, kissing me soundly. It wasn’t overly passionate or sexual, it was more comforting, reassuring, but it still set a deep vibration running through me.

“That won’t be us,” he promised. “I will never let anything hurt you. Not if it’s within my power. Do you believe me?”

I nodded slowly, pulled into the force of his words, the expression in his Mediterranean-blue eyes. “I do.”

“Do you trust me enough to do this?”

Wasn’t that what this was all about? Did I trust Paxton enough to push my fear to the side? Logically, I knew his history with jumps, knew that if I was going to do this, there was literally no one on the planet better to do it with.

Emotionally…the guy wanted me to hurl myself off a cliff.

Laughter bubbled up, shaking my shoulders and bringing out an embarrassing snort.

“Leah?”

“I was thinking that jumping off a cliff is one way to fall for someone.” Ludicrous, but so fitting.

“You falling for me, Firecracker?” he asked softly, an unnamable emotion passing over his face.

Jumping off the cliff was definitely preferable to this conversation. I wasn’t ready to reveal any of my feelings, and I knew he wasn’t nearly ready to hear them. Throwing the L word into our relationship was the most surefire way to kill it.

Sure, I’ll date you.

Oh, by the way, I’m in love with you, too.

Yeah. No.

“I kind of like you,” I said instead.

Now he was the one laughing. “Yeah, I kind of like you, too.”

“Wilder!” Landon called from where they were all lined up at the cliff’s edge. “You coming, or what?”

Paxton looked to me. “Well, do you choose the jump? Or the ‘or what’?”

I was torn. What if I got up there and chickened out? What if something happened on the way down? What if I broke my ankle on the landing, or I puked all over Paxton?

But what if I didn’t do it?

Brooke was right, I’d never get this chance again. And besides, Rachel would have already harnessed up.

Paxton would keep me safe.

“Let’s jump.” The words came out of my mouth before I could think.

His face lit up. “Let’s jump.”

A few minutes later, Paxton knelt, putting me into the harness he’d double- and triple-checked, sliding the straps up over the leggings I’d changed into. “I like these,” he said with a smirk as he ran his hands up my thighs.

“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered, my eyes fixed on the edge of the cliff, where Penna and Brooke had already jumped. “Don’t you want to watch them?” I asked.

He shook his head, adjusting my straps. “Nope, they’re not my priority at the moment.”

“You sure know how to make a girl feel protected.”

He rose up before me, adjusting the shoulder straps with a quirk of his lips. “Hang around. In a few minutes I’ll sweep you off your feet.”

Only he could make me laugh right before I was about to endanger my life.

Once our helmets were snapped and I was clicked into Paxton’s harness, we stepped to the edge. The view was unparalleled. The half-moon beach below was only accessible by the boat waiting offshore, the white sand meeting the greens and blues of the water in stunning contrast. In the middle lay a shipwreck, and I couldn’t help but wonder how many jumpers it had seen.

“You ready?” Paxton asked behind me.

My heart lurched into my throat, and I had that same feeling as I did before the zip-line, knowing that something terrifying but amazing was about to happen. “You’ll keep me safe?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“Always,” he answered, our helmets bumping as he leaned forward to kiss my cheek.

“Let’s go.”

“On three,” he said.

“Okay.” Dear God, please don’t let me die doing something as stupid as this. I’ll be a good person. I’ll go to church, and rescue a dog from a shelter, and call my parents every Saturday, just don’t let me die.

“One.”

I’ll volunteer at homeless shelters.

“Two.”

I’ll tutor kids at an inner-city school. Or do my best to broker world peace. Yeah. One of those.

“Three.”

In perfect rhythm, we jumped.

My stomach dropped as we did, adrenaline flooding my veins. With each heartbeat, I cut another piece of my fear free, let it fall, and hoped I never caught up with it again.

The chute rippled out behind us, and our descent instantly slowed. The warm breeze caressed my face, and I took in gulping breaths as the sheer perfection of the moment overwhelmed me. It was beautiful—the view, the jump, the fearlessness, and Paxton behind me, steadily guiding us.

“What do you think?” he asked.

“There are no words,” I answered.

“Exactly,” he said, wonder in his voice. “Remember to bend your knees when we land. I’ll try to do most of the work.”

A few seconds later we hit the beach. The whole thing took less time than I’d spent debating actually doing it. But it was something I’d never forget, something that could never be taken away from me.

Paxton cut our chute loose and unhooked me. “You okay?” he asked as I spun in his arms.

I raised up, kissing him, slipping my tongue past his teeth and hoping he’d taste the euphoria running through me, the gratitude I had that he’d pushed me but hadn’t pressured me.

Unlike Barcelona, this time he responded, tilting his head to get past our helmets and wrapping me in his arms.

“Thank you,” I said, my smile uncontrollable.

“No, thank you,” he said, kissing me again. “Your trust means the world to me.”

“Leah!” Penna yelled, running over to us and hugging me. I was swamped by Brooke, Landon, and a couple of the other Renegades until secure in Paxton’s arms, I was the center of a group hug.

“Welcome to the Renegades, Firecracker,” he whispered in my ear.

Nothing had ever sounded more like home.