Where We Left Off (Phoenix Falls Series Book 1)

I’m nervously twiddling with the baby pink tulle puffed up around my thighs as I stand by the drawn drapes in the main hall, waiting for Kit to finish readying the playlist for tonight’s Homecoming. I always knew that I was going to be coming, but I didn’t always know that I would be going, and as the realisation fully dawns on me – I’m not just here because of the committee, but because Tate Coleson wants to be at the Homecoming Dance with me – happy butterflies nervously flit under the soft bodice of my dress.

Tate wanted me to come in the ride with him and his friends, so he didn’t like it when I told him that I wasn’t going to need picking up. Kit and I would be here from the final bell, setting up the hall with the rest of the committee. Admittedly, I did want to come with him – I wanted to see him suited up on my front porch, I wanted to hold his hand in the car, and I wanted to walk through the school’s doors with him as my date – but I can also breathe a little easier this way. I didn’t have to tell my mom that I have a date, let alone the fact that he’s the boy across the street who I’ve been sorta-kinda secretly dating behind her back. Also, I didn’t have to be in a confined space with Hudson, who no doubt would be coming with Tate and his friends. Hudson is a case of endless sideways glances and unnerving smirks, and I want to spend as little time with him as is possible, especially when I feel a little vulnerable in my outfit choice tonight.

I look down at my dress as I bite into my little coating of lip-gloss. It has a high-necked sleeveless bodice which puffs out into a small but full tutu skirt, all baby pink and shimmery. I think it’s cute, but I know how weird the people at school get when someone who no-one thinks is cute tries to be cute. I try to block them out from my mind. Tate seems to like me and no-one else’s opinion on the situation matters.

God, I hope that he thinks I look cute tonight.

Kit hits play on the playlist and the song instantly racks through the speakers, prompting the principle to open the door to the hall and admit all of the students who have been waiting in the foyer and outside. I immediately duck from my hiding place and skirt through one of the miniature side entrances, avoiding the rush as I go to find Tate.

I’m momentarily immobilised when I notice how much more grown up all of the other girls here look. Sure, I’m only a freshman and some of these are sophomores and juniors, but why do they look so much older than me? And how the hell did they grow those? I work my way around the foyer, sticking to the walls, until I come to the entrance and I glimpse outside.

It’s dark out but it’s mild, and Phoenix Falls’ endless drizzle seems to have ceased for the moment. I study the vehicles that are idling in the lot until I come across the I-eat-your-cars-for-breakfast Wrangler and the group of students that are standing outside of it. It’s Madden’s car. I know this because he drives it to school sometimes, having gotten his license as soon as he turned sixteen. No surprises that Count Dracula the Second is an October baby.

A nervous weight settles in my tummy as I take in the sight of their group. Two sophomore cheerleaders with dark sexy hair are leaning against the front of the Jeep, seemingly engrossed in a conversation with Hudson – they’re beautiful, but obviously they are also sadly insane. And then to the side… a crowd of football guys from another car have met up with Madden and Tate, half-hidden behind another truck, and they’re doing that minimal-contact hand-grasp-hug thing whilst nodding their heads to signal who their dates are.

I hold onto the side of the door with a shaky hand, shielding my body from view as I watch them shyly. I absolutely cannot go out there. This was such a bad idea. What am I even doing here? Oh God, oh God, oh God.

I turn around with the intention of speed-walking back to the hall to tell Kit that I’m leaving but the “queue”-cum-mosh-pit leading into the main room still hasn’t dissipated. I shift nervously at the back of the crowd, tapping my foot agitatedly, desperate to disappear.

Suddenly I feel a rush of air as if someone has just ran up behind me and warmth immediately envelopes my back. I look down as I’m quickly encircled with two firm forearms, tan skin exposed from white rolled-up sleeves, and Tate leans down to rest his chin on my bare shoulder, his lips lightly kissing the side of my reddening cheek.

“Hey baby,” he whispers and I drop my head, overcome with embarrassment, amazement, and pure, pure love. He leans slightly over my clavicle, peering down at my body, and I shrink a little under his scrutiny. I can feel his smile against my cheek. “I love your dress,” he continues, and his thumbs stroke my ribcage gently, as if he knows just how out of my depth I feel right now. He kisses me again and then murmurs quietly, “I knew that my girl would be the sweetest little thing in here tonight.”

I laugh, smitten, and I spin around, instantly drunk on the sight and the scent of him. He’s wearing some sort of cocaine-laced cologne that’s making my head crazy dizzy, and the picture of him in a half-buttoned white shirt and a pair of dress pants that barely contain his thighs is really not helping with the not-passing-out thing. His eyes sparkle as he looks down at me intoxicatingly, palms cupping my face as I tilt up to him like a sunflower.

“You look so good,” I admit, and he flashes me a smug boyish grin that makes me laugh out loud.

“You wanna come meet the guys before I steal you away for the rest of the night? Or should I just steal you away right now?” he asks, leaning down like he’s about to kiss me.

Steal me, I think. Definitely steal me.

But before his lips have the chance to graze mine a ruckus storms through the entryway and I instantly know that we’ve got company – by which I mean: the entire football team, the cheerleading squad, Madden, and-

“He’s been sixteen for less than twenty-four hours and he’s already getting his dick wet!” Hudson punches Tate hard on the back but miraculously Tate doesn’t move an inch, otherwise I would have been pancaked underneath his concrete pecs.

Tate twists around, a vein that I’ve never seen before bulging furiously in his neck as he glares down at Hudson. “Watch it man, I could’ve knocked her,” he grits out, and his hands move to compress me into his side.

Hudson cocks an eyebrow at him and then smirks at the guys around us. “I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what you’ve been doing,” he taunts. “Or at least, that’s what you will be doing tonight.” Hudson flicks his slits to me. “I’m sure you know what all guys do on their sixteenth, right?”

I blink up at him, my cheeks burning furiously at the attention, and his words settle uneasily into my brain. Confused, I look from Hudson to Tate, and then back to Hudson.

Today is Tate’s birthday?

There’s a kind of awkward silence as the group around us looks shiftily between Hudson, Tate, and then me, but it’s thankfully almost unnoticeable due to the noise coming from the hall. I’m not sure who needs to be deleted from this scene more to rectify the vibe: Hudson, me, or literally every single one of us. From the look that Madden is shooting him right now, I’m going to say Hudson.

Tate jerks his chin. “So where’s your date, man?”

Hudson zones in on me like sniper. “Maybe I’m looking right at her.”

I recoil at the same moment that Tate moves me to the side, and then he shoves his palms into the planes of Hudson’s chest. Hudson stumbles and Tate grabs his collar, whispering something inaudible to him as he backs him out of earshot from the rest of the group. He keeps him away from us for about twenty seconds, before giving him another shove and then turning around, stalking back towards us with his hulking shoulders heaving. Funnily enough, the bizarre exchange seems to have sated the crowd of sexy popular sports people, and now they’re looking at me with impressed curiosity. Tate grabs my hand and pulls me to him as he says, “’Scuse me,” to the classmates who are in the crowd in front of us. Magically, everyone disperses to let him through.

Once we get into the hall Tate grabs me a drink and then spins me into the centre of the dance floor.

The past minute has confused me so much that all I can do is drink his offering and look up at him imploringly, the red lights which sheathe the hall making him glow like a dangerous angel.

He clutches my body to his and he murmurs into my hair, “Dance with me first. I’ll explain everything later.”

I tilt my head backwards and I notice that his eyes glint as they linger on my mouth.

“I like that, by the way,” he says, his eyes hooding slightly. I realise that he’s talking about my lip-gloss so I give him a shy sparkly smile.

He smiles in return and then he presses a long, chaste kiss to my lips.

Then we sway.

*

Tate leads me from the hall, down the corridor which homes a lot of the staff offices, and then out of the exit near the science bay. He walks us around the side of the brick exterior until we are almost at the other side of the lot. Madden’s Wrangler is in sight and we head towards it, the keys in Tate’s hand.

Tate opens the passenger door and retrieves his suit jacket from the dash, immediately easing me into it to shield me from the wintry chill. Then he sits me down on the seat, my feet dangling above the blacktop, and he rubs his warm palms back and forth along my shoulders, ready to explain.

“There are… a few things,” he admits quietly and my stomach twists nervously. His hesitance is scaring me. His eyes lock onto mine and he shakes his head, as if he’s reading exactly what I’m thinking. “None of it has anything to do with you, I promise, you’re the… you’re the only good part of any of this.”

He drops his head and takes a few moments to breathe deeply, calming down. I, on the other hand, am so anxious that I’m palpitating.

“It is my sixteenth today,” he starts, “and I know that it’s weird that I didn’t tell you, but I didn’t want you to think for a second about any of that shit that Huddy was insinuating. I don’t want that. I mean, I do – you have to know how much I want that, but also how much I want to wait for you, until you’re older.” He pulls a pained expression and looks away briefly. “I don’t know if this is coming out right,” he says, removing one of his hands so that he can grip at the back of his neck.

I nod up at him encouragingly and he relaxes a little. “I understand, it’s okay, I… I’m sorry that I’m not-”

He shakes his head and uses both of his hands to cup my jaw. “Don’t be sorry, please. I literally just turned sixteen, and I want to wait for you. I don’t care how long that is. I want it to be with you, and only with you, okay?”

I swallow and make a little nod, hoping that he can’t actually read my mind because something about Tate telling me how ardently he wants to wait for me is making me want to rip all my clothes off right here in Madden’s car.

“Is that what was bothering you?” I ask. “Because it’s honestly not a big-”

“I’m moving,” he says.

I stop speaking and I instantly still. My feet are no longer happily waggling over the step beneath the doorframe.

“You’re… moving?” I repeat, as if I didn’t hear exactly what he just said.

“I promise it won’t make a difference to anything, River, I promise. But I have to move because my mom and her boyfriend are getting married, so they found a bigger place outside of town for us all to fit in. I’m going to try and move in with my dad as soon as he’s all set up and then I can transfer back so that we’re still at school together, even though I won’t be across the street from you anymore. I really, really wish that I didn’t have to, and I’m so, so sorry. As soon as I can I’m gonna come back for you, River. I promise I’m gonna come back for you.”

His eyes are shimmering and my chest is constricting tightly. I’m confused. I’m hurting. But I’m also awe-struck that, with all of the shit that is getting in our way right now, Tate Coleson still wants to be mine, and he still wants me to be his.

I’m only fourteen but he wants to wait for me for as long as it takes. His mom is moving him away and he’s going to try and come back as soon as he can. As sad as I am, I can’t help but feel lucky that this perfect boy is willing to fight anything to keep me in his life.

“Please say something,” he says, pulling his hands back and pushing them into the pockets of his pants, visibly nervous as he assesses my silence.

I hop out of the Wrangler and wrap my arms, which are now enveloped in his suit jacket, around his neck. His hands instantly find my waist and he grips me tightly, pushing me slightly against the back door of the Jeep.

“I want to wait for you too,” I whisper, and he lets out a strained relieved groan, dipping his forehead so that he can press it against mine.

“River,” he moans, his palms running up to my shoulder blades. “I don’t want to lose you. Ever. Please will you…” He takes a deep breath. “Please say that you’ll be my girlfriend.”

My heart stutters and my eyes widen in shock. He meets my gaze, irises glowing with a hunger that I don’t quite understand yet, and I nod as if I’m under a spell. “Tate,” I say, “of course I’ll be your girlfriend. Yes – yes – of course.”

I run my fingers through his soft hair and I stand up on my tip-toes, ready to show him just how much I mean it, but his lips catch mine first, to show me that he means it even more.