When Chenille Is Not Enough

“After dark,” Scott said. He faced Edna and pressed his hands on her shoulders. “Stop bouncing.”

Susan crossed her arms. “The girls will be home then.” She stood in the shadow of the archway, lips and forehead pinched.

“Mom, you look like Marsel,” Cecily said. “Besides, I have to say goodbye to Eleanor and Olivia. This is their heritage, too, and they should know.”

Bozidar scanned the crowded room, fear rising in his eyes. “I feel obliged to warn you that the landing pod has limited capacity.”

Edna rose on her toes despite Scott’s hands on her shoulders. “So make two trips. We should all go.”

Gary leaped to Susan’s side, surrounding her with his arms. “She’s joking, honey. Deep breath, deep breath.”

Cecily opened her mouth, only to snap it shut when she saw her mother’s expression. She turned to her grandmother. “We should save that trip for summer vacation.” She giggled. “Seriously, what would Mom write on the note to the teacher - please excuse my girls because they’ve gone to another planet?”

Edna considered the idea. “I’d pay good money to see that. But I’m willing to be reasonable.”

Every face in the room reflected disbelief. The aliens disguised as bolts of fabric tipped to the side, and a waft of lavender and something else rippled from them, as if skepticism had developed a smell.

“Of course you are, dear,” Scott said. He guided her toward the hall. “We should pack. Get your things from upstairs and I’ll say our good-byes.”

Edna left the room muttering. As she reached the stairs, she called, “And I still think we should all go to the planet. We’d have a blast.”

Gary tightened his grip. “Relax. She doesn’t mean it.” He stroked her arm. “Let your fists relax, too, honey.”

“I bet she does mean it,” Susan said. She inhaled, then exhaled. Her fingers uncurled as the breath flowed.

“Grandma may be right,” Cecily said, edging behind Scott. “What if we’re treated like queens there? Would you and the girls come?”

Susan caught the riot of panic and dismay on Bozidar’s face. “Not without an official invitation.” She smiled at Bozidar. “I’m certain your people will behave wonderfully, but do tell them that Edna doesn’t represent all of humanity. Tell them she is . . . unique.”

The fabric aliens puffed pink and yellow smoke as they rocked from side to side. The sounds emanating from their bodies sounded like tiny bells tumbling in a sack.

Bozidar growled a short, sharp syllable. He whipped his hand across his body, palm down and out to his side.

“I don’t need a translator to know they’re laughing,” Susan said. Her shoulders relaxed, and her frown eased into a tiny smile. “Trust me, by the time this visit is over all of you will be laughing at the descendant of She Who Found You. If you’re lucky.”

The sound of footsteps on the stairs coincided with the ringing of the front door bell. Gary and Susan marched the aliens to the dining room, while Cecily and Scott rushed toward the door.

“Don’t panic, it’s Kyle,” Edna yelled from the entryway.

“Too late,” Cecily said as she skidded down the hall. She swooshed around her grandmother like a champion skier and came to rest.

Scott followed at a brisk pace. “Ready?” he asked. He circled Edna’s waist and swept her along the walkway.

“But I haven’t told Kyle - ” Edna said.

“Cecily can fill him in,” Scott said as he maneuvered Edna into the passenger’s seat of their car. He waved at Cecily as he swung himself behind the wheel.

“I’ve never seen anyone pull out of a driveway that quickly without squealing tires,” Kyle said, waving at the retreating car. He turned to Cecily. “What did I miss?”

“More than you can imagine,” she said, drawing him into the house.

***

“I would not have believed this,” Kyle said after watching the videos. He stretched his shoulders and scratched his head. “Even with all we’ve been through, this is weird. And you’re really going into space?”

Bozidar threw his hands in the air. “Why do you humans ask the same question over and over when you already know the answer? Yes, they are coming back to my planet with me.”

“Even Edna?” Kyle asked.

“Yes! For the fifth time, yes!”

“He’s counted, you know,” Cecily said. She patted Kyle’s arm. “I wish you could come with us.”

“I have also counted the number of times you expressed that wish,” Bozidar said. He tapped his foot against the coffee table leg. “That was the seventh iteration of your desire for Kyle to accompany us. Should I calculate - for the sixth time - the area of my landing pod?”

“Please don’t,” Kyle said.

“Even if there was room, and even if he were invited, which he isn’t, I wouldn’t let him go,” Susan said. “Not without asking Louise. If it weren’t for the havoc your grandmother could wreak if left to her own devices, I wouldn’t let you go, Cecily. But you and Scott have a better chance of keeping her under control than I do.”

“What are you bringing?” Kyle asked. “When I went to Africa, it seemed like I was packing for another planet, but you really are. Going to another planet, I mean.”

“Yes, but not for a long stay, so I won’t need much. It will be about three weeks, right, Bozidar?”

Bozidar nodded once. His chin traced a long arc as he tilted his face to the ceiling and lowered it to his chest. He raised his eyes. “Shall I calculate the amount of time that will elapse here - again?”

“Two, maybe three months. I listened the first time. But Kyle asked a good question. What am I supposed to wear? And what food should I bring?”

“They aren’t going to feed you?” Kyle asked.

“We can replicate supplies, but we need samples,” Bozidar said. “May I suggest basic ingredients that can be combined for optimum nutrition?”

“They’re going to make you cook?” Kyle asked, a chuckle in his voice. “That could be dangerous.”

Cecily punched his arm. “You are so mean, and so wrong.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.” Kyle rubbed his bicep. “So what will you bring?”

“Um . . . ,” Cecily chewed on her lower lip. “Mom, what do you suggest?”

Kyle pulled them both to their feet. “Watch and learn. Between Boy Scouts and road trips, I can pack a traveling pantry in a heartbeat. It won’t take much room, either.”

“What about your clothes?” Susan asked.

“You only need personal items and travel garments. Once on Schtatik, you will be presented with attire suited to your status,” Bozidar said.

“You should call Scott,” Cecily said to her mother. “I’ve seen Grandma Edna’s suitcases. Not pretty.”

“Don’t remind me.” Susan shuddered. “Let Kyle manage the food. I’ll help with your clothes later. If you want.”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Cecily said as Kyle dragged her to the kitchen.

“Get a couple of shopping bags,” Kyle said, opening cabinets and drawers. “You’ll need utensils as well as food.”

“They’ve mastered interstellar travel. I think we can assume they’ve invented the spatula.”

“What about the can opener?” he asked. “For all you know, cans are a cultural taboo.”

Cecily rolled her eyes, but took a can opener from the drawer. “We can check with Bozidar, you know.”

“He’s got enough to deal with,” he said as he stacked packaged food on the counter. “And in case you haven’t noticed, he’s a bit overwhelmed.”

“Now there’s an understatement,” she said. “Bozidar is two steps away from a total meltdown and you know it.”

“All the more reason to be kind.” He rummaged through the produce drawer in the refrigerator.

She watched him inspect tomatoes and celery, sniff cheese, and consider yogurt cups. A warmth crept into her fingers, toes and face.

He turned to her, cherry yogurt in one hand and peach in the other. “Which do you like best?”

She stretched to kiss him on the cheek. When he stumbled back into the open refrigerator, she put her arms around him until he found his feet. Taking the cherry yogurt, she said, “I like this one. And thanks.”

“Any time,” he said, his eyes shining.

“You have no idea what I’m thanking you for, do you?” She leaned against the counter, grinning. When he shook his head, she said, “I’m thanking you for being a nice guy. A stand-up guy. And brave. None of this seems to faze you.”

“Hey, last year we whipped their butts. They should be afraid of us.” He lowered his eyes, then took her by the shoulders, quiet and earnest. “Just be careful, okay?”

She hugged him. “You bet.”

***

Bozidar paced the hall, tapping on the black box. Susan trotted next to him, observing every finger motion and icon.

“Wait, wait,” she said. “I didn’t see which symbols you hit.” She yanked on his elbow. “Stand still, and show me what you’ve done.”

The screen shimmered blue, then silver, then red. “Good,” Bozidar said with a sigh. “They materialized safely.” He stroked the side of the box, then offered it to Susan. “I will demonstrate again.”

“Cecily will be down soon,” Edna said as she descended the stairs. “So how’s it going? Have you mastered the secrets of transporting people through the air?”

“That’s what jets are for,” Susan said. “I should drive you to the landing pod. It would be much easier.”

“Not if we are seen,” Bozidar said. “We already risk discovery by telling your younger daughters about the trip.”

“That is the least of your worries, my friend,” Gary said as he gave a grocery sack to Edna. “No one on this planet could follow your ship, even if they did see it.”

“No, but they could shoot at us. One well-directed missile would be enough.” Bozidar scowled. “Remember, I have studied your species.”

“No one would see you,” Susan said. She studied the screen, one finger hovering over twinkling images like silk scarves fluttering in an outdoor market. “Okay, I think I’ve got this figured out. I hit the top square, then the blue squiggly lines, then the red squiggly lines that will turn purple while the transport is taking place.”

“Yes, that is the proper sequence,” Bozidar said. “When the transport is complete - ”

“I look for the screen to turn blue, then silver, then red. You’ll open a communications link to confirm.” She nodded, as much to convince herself as to assure him that she understood. “I’m grateful you’re leaving the device so we can keep in touch, but I still don’t understand how it will connect with your planet.”

“When the new ship arrives, they will upgrade the system,” Bozidar said. “Marsel has made the arrangements.”

Cecily came down the stairs. “I said good-bye to the girls. Where is Scott?”

“Right here,” he said as he emerged from the hall. “Needed a few last-minute items. Are we ready to go?”

Bozidar scanned the readings on the black box. “Yes.” He turned to Cecily. “Your sisters are sworn to secrecy?”

“Don’t worry,” Cecily said. “Everything will be fine.”

“I was given the same advice when I took this assignment,” he said. “The results were not what I expected.”

“We made an unbreakable pact. And who are they going to tell? It’s not like we know any government agents.”

Susan hugged Cecily, then took the box from Bozidar. His fingers clutched at the sides as she wrested it from his hands.

“Eleanor and Olivia are Agnes’ descendants, too,” Susan said. “They are about the age she was when your people crashed here the first time.” Her fingers rested on the screen. “If I trust you to take care of my family, you’ll have to trust my family to take care of you. Now, get in position before I change my mind. Or forget the sequence.”

While her eyes grew misty, she forced a smile as Edna and Scott stood on either side of Cecily and linked arms around her. The suitcases and grocery bags were stacked by their feet. Bozidar grimaced, and stood next to Edna. He nodded, and Susan tapped the screen.

The air around the group shimmered and crackled as if a thousand soap bubbles were cascading from the ceiling, popping as they fell. The stairway became visible through their bodies, then the last vestiges of them faded away. The screen turned a brilliant blue. It transitioned into a rectangle of silver, then flashed red.

“They’re gone,” she said.

Gary embraced her. “They’ll be fine.” He cupped her chin with one hand. “There’s something I need to clarify. You mentioned eloping earlier.”

Susan blinked. “I guess I did.” Every fiber in her body trembled, but she didn’t move.

“But no one actually mentioned marriage.” He winked. “Except Edna.”

Susan nodded, her voice locked in her throat.

He grinned and swept his hands to her waist. “I think it’s a splendid idea, us getting married. Probably the best suggestion Edna ever made.”

Susan nodded again. Gary grasped her hands, kissing the palms. He dropped to one knee. Susan inhaled, still unable to speak.

“Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Gary asked.

“Yes,” she whispered. She giggled. “Now get up before the girls come downstairs. They’ll never let us live down a bent-knee proposal.”

“But you liked it, right? Those old Hollywood movies really come in handy.”

She mussed his hair and pulled him to his feet. “Yes, they do. Now finish the scene and kiss me.”

He wrapped his arms around her, sweeping her into an embrace reminiscent of Clark Gable in Gone With The Wind.

She snuggled against him and sighed. “If we’re not going to elope, we’d better plan this wedding quickly. You have no idea what Edna is like around a big event.”

“I can imagine. She’ll want to run the show no matter what we do, so you better save something for her to be in charge of.”

Susan hugged him closer. “Yes, you’re right,” she said, her voice wispy and distracted.

“You’re worrying again,” Gary said, caressing her hair. “They’ll be back.”

“It can’t be too soon.” She tilted her head and grinned at him. “I wonder how long it will take for Bozidar to say the same thing?”

***

“The replicators are working on your food items, I have informed Susan of your safe arrival, and I have adjusted the temperature three times - what more do you want from me?” Bozidar whimpered.

“I told you,” Edna said, running her fingertip along the edge of a shelf. “I want a window. What’s the use of going into space if you can’t see it? And don’t you have machines to keep the place clean? You can manage interstellar travel but you can’t install a central vacuum?”

Bozidar winced. “The particles that collect on the surfaces of the ship are collected and recycled into emergency food rations. I will accelerate the process.” He leaned over the console and pushed two buttons. “As for the window, I have tried to explain the design of the transport pod - ”

“Yes, you have,” Scott said. “It was a very interesting explanation, both versions, which Edna ignored. If she didn’t pay attention the first two times, she won’t pay attention the third.” He fixed a stare on Edna. “There are no windows on this vessel. Adjust.”

“We will dock with the mother ship by morning,” Bozidar said. “Or what would be morning. That ship has viewing ports, although there isn’t much to see on the dark side of your moon.”

“You mentioned another space craft,” Cecily said. “Is it going to escort us to your planet?”

“No,” Bozidar said. “The eight of us will take that ship home. It is newer, faster, and larger. The trip will be much more comfortable. The communications officer will upgrade the device I left your mother so that you may remain in contact with her while we are on Schtatik.”

“How long will we have to wait before it arrives?” Scott asked.

“Two days.”

Edna paced the perimeter of the transport pod. “I’m not good at waiting, you know.”

Cecily lifted her feet to let Edna pass. “We know. Really, Grandma, you should be happy. At this very moment we are heading for the moon! And we’re not crammed into the cargo hold with the others.” She turned to Bozidar. “Are you sure they’re okay down there? I didn’t even know there was a second level when I was here before.”

“It was their choice,” Bozidar said. “The compartment is safe, and the journey will not be long.”

“And they don’t have to listen to Grandma complain,” Cecily said. She smiled at Edna.

Edna dropped on the seat next to Cecily, crowding her into the corner with exaggerated feistiness. “What will we do while we wait for this superliner of yours?”

Bozidar punched a button on the console. “You will be outfitted with ceremonial robes. It is important that you be dressed appropriately when we arrive. Please, look at the screen.”

Edna moved to the console, treading on Bozidar’s foot. “Sorry, haven’t found my space legs.” She studied the screen. “That looks more like a shawl than robes. Don’t your people like sleeves?”

“Our appendages can expand or contract as the need requires. Sleeves would be an encumbrance. However, we have adapted these garments before.”

“So you’ve had contact with other species?” Cecily asked. “What are they like? And how many different ones are there? Have these been peaceful contacts or is warfare common to all life forms?” She patted her pockets. “Do you have a notebook and pen around here? Or maybe I could get my camera from the cargo hold?”

“Hey, space boy,” Edna said. “What choices do I have for colors? The green stuff in the robe you’re displaying will drain all the color out of me. And what’s it made of? It looks like velvet. Is it velvet? I can only wear velvet in winter, otherwise I get too hot.”

Bozidar shuffled backwards until his knees hit the edge of a chair and he collapsed into it. His chin quivered and his hands trembled. A thin stream of greenish-brown smoke trickled from his right ear.

Scott edged around Edna and leaned over him. “Is the new ship big enough for you to hide on?”

Bozidar raised his face and whispered, “It has quarters for three battalions of soldiers, and room to hold ten invasion vehicles as well as fighter craft. Do you think I can find some corner where they will not find me?”

Scott shook his head and patted Bozidar’s shoulder. “Maybe not, son, maybe not.”