We'll End Up In Hell Boys

“You still want to eat?” Lance asked Isa and me with wide eyes and we nodded as we grabbed the menu to order more. We only ate two cheeseburgers and fries... each. We still hadn’t had the desserts yet. “You don’t just turn to evil girls, you turn to fat pigs as well!” he commented in a quiet tone, thinking that we didn’t hear but we both heard him loud and clear.

I let go of the dessert’s menu and crossed my arms. “Did you just call us fat pigs?” I asked him in a calm tone, Isa cracked her fingers and Lance got all nervous and sweaty. He glanced at Dorian and Roy but they didn’t help him at all, they just cracked a wicked smile and let him on his own. Great friends. He leaned back on his chair and avoided eye contact with us. “Did you?” I repeated, this time louder and rougher. I wasn’t angry at all, I was just intrigued to hear his reply.

He sighed and nodded briskly. “I did, okay! Just don’t make a scene out of it, please! Please!” he begged and I smirked when Isa placed her hand on my hand. Not a second later, we busted out laughing. “What? Stop! Why are you laughing? You’re making a scene, I knew it! You little...” He tried to shush us but it was no use. He was scared shitless and embarrassed yet confused at our reaction. He did not see that coming.

I wiped the tears from my face and firmly patted his back. “Don’t worry, we’re not drama queens but you kind of deserved to feel a little embarrassed. You are lucky we’re chilled back about you calling us fat pigs, other girls would have skinned you alive!” I stated as a matter of fact and he let out a deep breath. He felt overwhelmed and it was evident in his eyes.

“She’s right. It’s not nice calling girls that even if they’re okay with it. Don’t do it again, Lance and apologize to them already.” Dorian warned him and we all nodded in agreement. It was official, Dorian was the mature one out of the three.

Lance let out a frustrated cry and slapped his cheek. We didn’t know why yet we didn’t ask. I felt that it was hard for him to apologize because his ego was too high for him to jump off. “I’m s-sorry for calling you fat pigs... but you do eat a lot,” he said and then added that bittersweet sentence. I sighed because he didn’t learn his lesson after all and I was too tired to argue. I brushed him off and we waited for the sweets.

“Where should we go first? Men’s section or female?” Roy asked after we finished eating. Eventually, they all ate desserts as well because they couldn’t resist the chocolaty sight. No one could. No one would.

“Definitely men’s!” Dorian, Lance, Isa and I replied. We knew what’s up. They knew what’s up. They were not fools.

“We will take our time so it’s better if you buy your stuff first and wait for us later. We shouldn’t rush because I don’t want to get home and then remember that I forgot something, it’s too much work to do.” I explained my point of view and Isa agreed. The boys didn’t mind this decision, they did the math.

“You are lazy,” Dorian told me as we walked to the first men’s store. I looked at him with a sheepish smile. “I am.” I proudly confirmed and he facepalmed with a faint smile. “What can I say? It’s a talent. Don’t envy me too much, okay?” I replied and he laughed. His laugh was genuine and it made me laugh in return but our happy moment was interrupted by our group’s calling.

“Guys, I found the pants section, come,” we heard Roy call out to us and we walked to where he was. “Look, aren’t they just cute?” Isa asked with a grin as she held the tiny boy’s pants. As I saw them, I fell in love.

I nodded and held them, they were so small that my palms covered the whole pants. “Aww, they are too cute!” I said and we kept on searching for more. I loved babies and anything related to them. After a minute or two of us admiring the clothes, we heard someone clear their throat. We turned around and saw the boys staring at us. “What?” Isa and I asked and waited for them to enlighten us.

“You do realize that these are for babies, right?” Dorian asked us and we nodded. “Duh! Why are you asking?” Isa asked with one raised eyebrow. “We’re the ones who need new clothes, remember?” Roy stated like he just said that the sky was blue. It was not clear. See what I did there? “So?” I asked, not understanding their point. “We’re not holding you down, go ahead. Buy whatever you want,” I added and they groaned.

“We thought you could help us pick, but okay. Let’s get started guys,” Roy said in a disappointed look and I sighed. I let go of the baby's clothes and nudged Isa’s shoulder. She huffed and did the same. “You owe us big time!” We both said and the boys beamed. They were more like babies and we were their mothers.

After five freaking hours at the mall, we finished buying everything. And when I said everything, I meant everything including Isa and I’s stuff. It was difficult and complicated to find the boys clothes so their time in the men’s stores was longer than ours. Isa didn’t buy a lot of clothes because she already got plenty at her aunt’s house and I wasn’t picky. I just bought what looked comfortable and cute.

“We look like we bought the whole mall!” Lance commented the moment we stepped out of the mall. We all looked at our bags and he wasn’t wrong. Each bag was large and thick and we each held five or six of these. “Your bank account must be screaming Divana, we’re sorry,” he added with a smirk. I knew that he didn’t mean his apology to be deep and it was fine.

“Eh, I’m not taking anything to my grave so why be cheap? But we did buy a lot!” I said with a tight smile and they all smiled back. “Thank you,” they responded in unison and this time, my smile was genuine and big. These two words made me think that I did something good for them. I didn’t really care about the fact that I was wealthy, I didn’t see the importance of money. But it did make their day better so that made me satisfied and happier.

“You’re welcome, now let’s head home. I need to rest my feet,” I declared and we rushed to the car. We placed everything in the trunk and got into the car. Isa was our designated driver and Roy was sitting next to her. The rest of us sat in the back.

“Who’s the DJ this time?” Isa asked as we buckled up and Lance jumped to volunteer but he forgot that he was in a car so he bumped his head. We bust out laughing at him and he laughed along. “Lance, it is,” Isa stated and handed him the aux cable. “Let’s get this party started,” he said and we listened in silence.

“What took you so long?” Keri asked us the moment we parked the car. She was waiting outside with an apple in her hand. “I was worried that you were taken to jail or something!” she added and we all stared at her in confusion.

“Why would you think that?” I asked her but then I remembered who Isa, my best friend, was. “Nevermind. I wouldn’t let her do anything crazy, I need my freedom still!” I said and she laughed.

“Hey! I’m not that bad!” Isa tried to defend herself but Keri gave her the look and Isa gave her a sheepish smile. “Fine, it was only that one time you bailed me out of jail. Just to be clear, it was not my fault. It was the bunch!” she exclaimed and I knew what was she talking about because she told me about that incident the same night it happened. She was a mess.

“What bunch?” the boys asked as they grabbed the bags from the trunk. Keri looked at them and crossed her arms. “She was at a party once and I warned her too many time not to drink anything at parties. She didn’t listen and drank a cup of red bunch thinking that it was just juice. It was not just juice. It was mixed with Caipirinha.” Keri replied as she helped us with the bags.

“What’s Caipirinha?” Roy asked and Lance nodded.

“It’s a famous cocktail here in Brazil, and it contains Cachaca, that is alcohol. I read about it once when I was doing a presentation about alcohols in school, don’t judge.” He explained and we all stared at him. “What? It was the only interesting topic to talk about.” Dorian declared and I was impressed. He knew stuff. “But the alcohol percentage isn’t that high in it, how did you end up in jail?” He asked and I patted Isa’s back.

Keri cleared her throat and placed the bags on the floor. “She has a low tolerance for alcohol. She got drunk and beat up a man who was assaulting an old woman. The police came right when she landed a kick to his sensitive parts and that son of a bitch cried in front of them and said that she was going to murder him. The police believed him because they were sexist and fools, thus, I had to go, at two in the morning, to bail her out. I was not mad at Isa when she told me what happened. I wanted to beat the police officers up for putting her in jail!” She told us with a furious look in her eyes.

“I love you, auntie!” Isa said and then hugged her to calm her down. The boys didn’t ask any more questions and placed the rest of the bags near the stairs. “Oh, are the mattresses here yet?” she asked and Keri nodded and pointed to the living room. I smiled when I saw the mattresses and the couch. It looked comfortable and ready to be sat on.

“Roy, how many rooms in this house?” I asked as I grabbed one of the mattresses. He also grabbed one and Dorian and Lance did the same. “Four, each one gets to have his own room,” Roy replied and I nodded. Isa grabbed her mattress and followed me to my room. She would sleep with me whenever she felt like it which was awesome. Keri went back to her home because she had a busy day waiting for her tomorrow and she needed to sleep early.

It took us about an hour or so to finish organizing our clothes and everything else. I looked at the clock and it was 10 pm. It was a long day indeed but it was not over yet. I had something in mind for Isa and Roy and I couldn’t wait to let Dorian and Lance know about my plan. I was ready to let them mingle.