We, who Survived

Nightmares had plagued me throughout the night. Happy memories and scenes were distorted, merged with horrific and bloody images. Nature no longer was a peaceful sea of green but a raging radioactive mess of gnashing teeth and screams. More than once did I wake up with a gasp, covered in a cold sweat while someone cradled me to their chest, trying to lull me back to sleep.

Eventually, when I managed to drag myself out of the clutches of sleep and cracked my eyes open, I saw a blurry image of Maria. My head was in her lap, her gentle fingers running through my hair. Straining my eyes, I managed to see Jae and Joon on either side of us, their heads resting on Maria’s shoulders.

“Oh, you’re awake.” Maria stopped her actions to smile warmly at me before slipping back into playing with my hair and humming a sad lullaby.

“Why are you here and not with Spark?” My voice was husky for a change, sleep still dominating me. Maria ceased her humming, eyes staring out of the pod’s doors.

“You weren’t having good dreams, that’s for sure with the amount of thrashing and whimpering you were doing. We slept by you hoping the company would help. Spark was here earlier but went out for some air. Jae and Joon had the night watch so they’re knocked out.” Maria gently patted Joon’s cheek. In response he moved closer, crinkling his nose. “See, fast asleep.”

Silence settled over us as I eased myself up and stretched, muscles protesting. There was an excited shout near the control area, gaining everyone’s attention and jolting Jae and Joon awake, their eyes wide as they tried to take in the room for dangers.

Charlie emerged from under the control panels, hair sticking up in different directions as he waved his hands above his head. Spark was up the ramp in seconds, eyes locking with mine before Charlie blocked me when he stood in front of him. Words were passed between them as everyone else turned their attention back to whatever they were doing. The conversation ended with both nodding and heading our way. My instinct was telling me to get up and leave but Maria prevented that by scooting closer and slinging her arm over my shoulders as the two sat down.

“One part of the mission is done, I managed to find both the map and compass,” Charlie stated, voice holding a prideful edge.

“Next problem is telling this lot what’s up and convincing them to leave the safety of the pod,” Jae began, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “We can already rule out Joon, Nate and I for talking, they won’t listen. You three, on the other hand, will have a better chance in doing so.”

“Then we just need to come off as a united force. Everyone knows me most so I’ll take the middle. Charlie and Maria, you guys can flank me while Jae and Nate can-”

“I’ll be outside, thanks.” Cutting off Spark, I nudged Maria’s arm off my shoulders and stood, briskly walking through our circle and out the rapidly heating lifepod before slumping down in the tall grass. There was no cool breeze to settle my anger, no one to shout at or scream to without attracting unnecessary attention. It was only me and my heated thoughts.

Burying my head between my knees, there was the soft crinkle of paper from my pocket. Gingery, I took out the photo, unfolding it and gazing down at my mother’s face. She probably never imagined her son to be a weakling like me, to be depressed and broken. No, she and my father must have envisioned a son who was strong and quick to take command, like Spark and Jae, not run away and take orders. Maybe I was a complete disappointment to them and they didn’t have the chance to say it...

“Nate!” Maria’s call was met with no reply, only me burying myself, trying to shrink in on myself. Her boots thumped against the ramp before she plopped down next to me, stretching out her long legs in front of her as she gazed forward. “You shouldn’t be out here by yourself, you know. What if something came and dragged you away before I showed up, hmm?”

“I’m not alone now, am I? Either way, no one would care if I died sitting out here. They’d probably be happy that it happened, no more having to worry about Nathan the library rat.” A sharp pain erupted from my side. Grimacing, I flinched away from Maria’s raised fist. “What the hell?”

“I already shouted at Spark for what he said. I don’t want to lecture you on these thoughts you are having because I would miss you like hell if you were gone. So would the others even if you don’t think they will. You sure would be missed badly, dummy!” Glaring at the ground, I felt Maria place her hand on my back. “Come on Nathan, show me a smile or something else besides that glowering expression of yours.”

Gritting my teeth, I remembered I still held my mom’s photo in my hand. Licking my lips, I folded it and placed it in my pocket before glaring at Maria. “Why did you come out here?”

“Mainly to check on you, then to update you on what’s happening. By the way, we are staying here one more night and need to get some more oranges for tonight and tomorrow. Lastly, here are your rations of protein bars.”

“Thank you. That all?”

“Yup.”

“Okay, go get the bag then we can leave.”

Sighing, I shrugged her hand off before standing up. Maria chuckled as she stood up, tilting her head with a goofy grin and opening her arms in the gesture of a hug. Hesitantly, I stepped into them. Instantly, she wrapped her arms around me and rested her head against mine. Slowly, I lifted my hands to rest on her shoulder blades and closed my eyes. Maria’s actions reminded me of something a mother would do to comfort her child when in distress, and it was working on me.

Sitting on the ramp, I watched as the survivors bathed in the warmth of the dying sunlight. They had only recently ventured out after Maria and I had returned unscathed and distributed the oranges. Though, the only ones who had decided to stay in the stuffy pod were the other leaders, Joon and one of the three navigators. They were most likely studying the map, trying to mind the best course of action towards the Trident facility.

“Look who we found boys, Crybaby Nate.” Clenching my jaw, my happy daydreaming was ruined. Glancing down the ramp where one of my reoccurring nightmares stood with his butch cronies. Daniel Speare cracked his knuckles, his group snickering in anticipation of my response. But my lack of it made Daniel’s eye twitch, riling him up.

“Nothing to say? Your screams will have to do.” He took a step up the ramp, my flight or fight instinct sent the remnants of my orange flying at him just as I bolted to the only safety I knew. Spark.

As I reached the top, however, Daniel tackled me to the floor, knocking the air out of my lungs as he landed a heavy punch to my ribs. Gasping, I clawed at his hands as they went around my neck, nails digging into my skin as he threw a right hook, snapping my head to the side, a yelp leaving my lips. My struggling made his manic grin widen, my panic fuelling him on.

“L-let me go!” The taste of blood was thick on my tongue. Daniel dug his nails deeper into my throat, teeth bared as he readied another fist aimed at my head. Just as it connected, he was ripped off me. A loud bang echoed as two bodies hit the floor, allowing me to curl on myself, hiding my head between my arms. When I gazed through the gap between my elbows, watching as Jae smashed Daniel’s head against the floor. Someone dragged me away from where I was, Joon coming to crouch protectively in front of me, hand coming to rest on my bruised side.

“Enough!” Spark’s command ceased Jae’s actions, his hand letting Daniel’s head drop as his lackeys ran up the ramp to see the bloody mess of their leader. Spark made his way towards him, crouching down. I closed my eyes as the side of my face and body throbbed painfully while Spark spoke harshly down to Daniel. Finally, I heard Daniel limping away with his friends helping him leave before noticing a presence in front of me.

Opening my eyes, I saw the angry expression on Spark’s face as he lowered himself to the floor, helping me sit up. He gingerly held my jaw, inspecting the new bruise forming there before pulling me into an embrace.

“Next time he comes for you or so much as gives you a wrong look, you come and get me or Jae, we will teach not to take advantage of leaders,” Spark mumbled, hand cupping the back of my neck.