Until You (Off-Limits)

Aria has been quiet and distant all week, and I can’t quite figure out why. Last weekend was perfect, but she’s barely spoken to me since. She’s been hyper-focused on work lately, and I can’t even fault her for it.

I thought we were making progress, though, I thought she was feeling what I was feeling. The way she was looking at me as she was sipping her drink… I thought she wanted me, that things were starting to shift between us.

I sit down on my sofa and stare out the window. I’ve always loved my space, so this house has never felt lonely, but tonight it does.

I’ve come to expect hanging out with Aria, watching TV together, eating together. They’re all mundane things, but they’re the best part of my day, and I didn’t even realize it until Aria started to hide in her room.

It’s not just me she’s hiding from, though. It’s Ash, too. Her responses are short, and I can’t tell what’s wrong. Last weekend changed things for me, but they seem to have changed for her too — in the opposite direction. She seems further away than ever.

I don’t want to intrude either, especially because she seems okay at work. She’s been working hard, and I’ve seen her smiling at Riley multiple times. Just today he asked her out at least half a dozen times, but she doesn’t even seem to realize it. Just before she left the office, he asked her if she wanted to join him for a drink. I saw her hesitate, as though she considered saying yes. The mere idea of her with Riley annoys me.

I grab my phone and open the Nemesis app. My finger hovers over the instant messaging function and I hesitate for a split second before deciding to text her.

Ash: You’re being quiet lately. What’s up?

Her replies have been late recently, even when I know she’s got her phone on her. I’m not sure what’s going on, but something is up.

Nyx: I just have some stuff on my mind, that’s all.

Ash: Will you tell me? I’m a pretty good listener, if I do say so myself.

She goes quiet for a couple of minutes, and I wonder if I’ve lost her attention. Just as I’ve decided that she’s put her phone away already, she texts back.

Nyx: It’s nothing, but I did find you a funny pun.

I purse my lips and look out the window, wondering why she’s being so off with me.

Ash: Oh no. tell me.

Nyx: What does a whale say when he’s confused? I’ll tell you. Could you please be more Pacific? Lol.

I stare at my phone and shake my head. Her puns are awful. Truly awful. But I bet she’s sitting in bed, grinning like a fool.

Ash: I don’t know what to say, other than that I’m o-fish-ally enchanted with you.

She goes silent, as she has been doing all week. She’s been friendly, but she doesn’t respond to any of my flirty lines, and I can’t tell what happened. Did I do something?

A pang of disappointment runs through me as I walk to my bedroom. My thoughts are all over the place as I underdress for bed. I miss her. I miss hanging out with her, I miss the way she makes me feel like I’m the only one that truly knows her, the only one she confides in.

I miss the little touches. Throwing my arm around her on the sofa, holding her hand in mine whenever I think I can get away with it. I miss that. She’s right here, but it feels like I haven’t seen her in ages.

I run a hand through my hair, frustrated. I’m driving myself crazy. This is all fucking insane. I can’t have her either way, so what does it all matter?

I twist and turn in bed, forcing myself to think of anything but her, when a bloodcurdling scream snaps me out of my thoughts.

I sit up, instantly panicked. It takes me half a second to realize it’s Aria, and another ten seconds to reach her room. My heart is pounding as I push her bedroom door open.

I find her lying in her bed, fast asleep, tears running down her face. “No,” she whispers repeatedly, her tone pleading. She thrashes in her sleep, trapped by her bed covers.

“Aria,” I say, leaning on her bed with my knee. I call for her repeatedly, but it doesn’t wake her. Instead, she claws at her sheets desperately.

I grab her sheets and pull them out of her grasp, but it doesn’t even remotely calm her. I’ve never seen her like this. I don’t know what to do. I sit down on her bed and place my hands on her shoulders, shaking her gently but firmly. It doesn’t wake her. She’s so deeply lost in her nightmare I can’t pull her out.

I lie down on the bed and pull her into my arms, holding her close to stop her from hurting herself. She kicks at me, and I hold her tighter, my hand tangling in her hair. I feel her tears against my chest, and it kills me.

“Mom,” she whispers, and I swallow hard. My heart fills with sorrow as her movements calm a little. I don’t know what she’s seeing in her dreams, but I know it must be tearing her apart.

Aria wraps her arms around me, and I wonder if she’s hugging her mother in her dreams. Is she experiencing losing her Mom all over again?

“I’ve got you, babe,” I whisper, my hand running over her hair soothingly. “You’re safe with me, Ari. You’ll always be safe in my arms.”

She inhales shakily, her body relaxing in my arms. She’s so small, yet she fits into me perfectly. I rest my chin on top of her head, her lips pressed against my throat. Her breathing evens out, and I exhale in relief.

“Grayson,” she breathes.

I tense. I thought she’d fallen back asleep, but I must’ve woken her up somehow. Aria tightens her grip on me, hugging me tightly.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime, sweetheart. I’ll hold you and keep your nightmares at bay, okay?”

She nods, her nose brushing against my neck. I hold her like that until she falls back asleep, my heart breaking for her.