Unravel Me (Playing For Keeps Book 3)

It’s hard to stop looking at her.

This morning, when she was snuggled beneath the mess we made well into the night. Pillowy lips that begged for kisses beneath the rising sun, honey freckles I could wake up to for the rest of my life. Bear tucked behind her knees, refusing to leave her side. The tiny boy who joined us in bed once our clothes made it back on, snuggled between us and, like me, couldn’t tear his eyes off his mama while she read him his favorite book.

And now, as she strolls ahead of me and Connor, both dogs tied around her waist, her fingertips grazing the trunk of every pine tree she passes. She’s at home here, in these forested mountains. I see the clarity reflected in her moss eyes after only a few minutes here, like the fresh air lifts her fog.

From his spot on my shoulders, Connor curls over my head, wrapping his arms around it. His lips press against my hat as he squeezes tight. “Muaaah! ”

I’m not sure I’ve ever been so lucky, and more than that, I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so awake. So alive .

Because I’ve been so fucking tired. Tired of people taking only what they want, leaving the rest behind. You can’t pick and choose parts of people; you have to want all of them. I’ve given Rosie the pieces nobody else has wanted, and she’s taken all of them with eager hands.

And somehow, that makes it scarier. Before, I only had myself to lose. Now I have two green-eyed blondes who’d take everything of me with them if they left. The thought makes my palms sweaty, my hands shaky. Because at the core of my fear is the reminder that I haven’t been honest with Rosie. That I’ve hidden a huge part of my life, all while asking her to give me everything.

I’ve done this whole thing backward. I always thought I’d have to convince someone to love all the regular parts of me after they fell for the hockey star. Now I have to convince her that, beneath it all, the hockey star is still me.

I need to give her all of me.

“Can I tell you a secret?” I whisper, looking up at Connor. “I just want to be good enough for you two, and I’m scared I won’t be. But I promise, I’m gonna try my hardest.”

He smiles at me, then rests his forehead against mine, patting my cheek. “Good Dada.”

“Thanks, buddy. I needed that.” My eyes find Rosie, watching us with a dazed smile. “Quit looking at me like that, trouble.”

“Like what?”

I press my words below her ear. “Like you want a repeat of last night on my balcony.”

She grins, teeth pressing into her pink lower lip. “You’re carrying my offspring on your shoulders. I’ll look at you however I wanna look at you.”

“Admit it. You want round two.”

“You and I both know it’s round five, at least.”

“Wanna see if we can hit double digits?”

“Wanna carry me everywhere the next day when my legs don’t work?”

“Wanna just never leave the bed?”

She grins up at me, tucking her tiny hand into mine, and I’ll never get over how perfect it feels there, the way our fingers twine together. “I wanna.” She peeks at me from beneath her lashes. “Sounds like a baby-free night might be best.”

My heartbeat trips. “Baby free?”

She winks, twirling out of my hold, and dances off toward the bridge, the dogs chasing after her.

“Baby free?” I repeat, Connor bouncing along on my shoulders as I dash after her. “Rosie! What does baby free mean?”

She ignores me, and when we finally catch up with her and she’s dishing out lunch for everyone, she’s still wearing that smug smile.

“Fuckin’ trouble,” I mutter, slipping Connor off my shoulders.

“What are you gonna do about it?”

My eyes flip to hers, flashing with heat so feral it makes her blush. She rolls her lips and turns to her backpack, and I nab a fistful of her shirt, pulling her lips to mine. “Guess you’ll have to find out.”

Connor pats our shoulders, a bubbly smile appearing between us. “Mama, Dada, kiss.”

After lunch, we stroll down to the creek, Bear and Piglet flanking Connor’s sides as he walks just ahead, his hands buried in their fur.

“I think Pig and Bear have adopted Connor,” I say.

“I think so too,” she murmurs, watching them with a smile. “I’m so happy he loves animals. And Piglet…” She shakes her head, her smile equal parts hopeful and sad. “She’s just come so far, hasn’t she? She’s so great with you and Bear, and she loves Connor so much.”

“She seems so at home out here with you.”

“With all of us. So many of her strides have happened since you came along.”

“I’m glad to be a positive part of her journey, but don’t discount all the work you’ve done with her, Rosie.”

“I’m not. Really, I’m not. But there was only so much I could do on my own, you know? Yes, I worked hard to gain her trust, to help her feel comfortable, but we couldn’t get her near men until you. And now look at her. She’s so carefree out here, so happy.” Hope drains from her eyes, leaving her grieving a future she’s told herself she can’t have. “She’s going to make some family so happy one day.”

I squeeze Rosie’s hand in mine. “Her forever family is going to be so lucky.”

Rosie nods before focusing on the trees around us, trailing her fingertip over the bark of each tree she passes like she always does, like she’s looking for something she lost. She never offers any information, and I don’t press. It’s her quiet time, and I’m just grateful she allows me to tag along. Plus, there’s something rewarding about giving her the time and space to come to me herself when she’s ready. It makes me feel worthy, and that’s a feeling I’ve been lacking the past couple of years.

“Hey.” I nudge her side. “I was thinking about you getting stuck in the rain yesterday. I’ve got an SUV in my garage, but I’m pretty partial to my truck. What if you used it to get around? Work, errands, picking up and dropping off Connor. It’d save you some time and save you from the rain.” sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ FɪndNøvel.ɴᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

“Oh, no. I can’t do that.”

“Sure you can. I’m happy to lend you one of my cars if it makes life a little easier for you.”

“No, that’s not it. It’s…well…” She twirls a wave around her finger and lifts a shoulder. “I don’t know how to drive.”

“Really?”

“I have my learner’s permit, but I never actually learned how to drive. Dad was always supposed to teach me, but…” She shrugs. “Didn’t end up having anyone around to teach me.” She gives me a grateful smile and a hand squeeze. “But thank you for the offer, Adam. That’s so thoughtful of you. The bus is just fine, and a little rain won’t hurt me.”

Memories flood my head, weeks spent in the driver’s seat of my dad’s F-150 while I crept along quiet neighborhoods, my mom in the backseat, hanging over my shoulder and gasping every time I got a little too close to another car, or that one time I bumped the curb. My parents waiting for me with a poster and balloons when I finished my driver’s exam, and the dinner they took me out to afterward to celebrate. Amazing memories, but ones I don’t appreciate enough. Because a simple coming-of-age ritual I thought every kid had…Rosie didn’t. She didn’t have someone sitting next to her, worrying over how much gas she gave the pedal, every over-swing of the wheel, and whether she’d checked her blind spot. She didn’t have someone watch her pull out of the driveway all on her own for the first time, someone to worry about where she was going and if she would get there safely, telling her not to be late, texting her fifteen minutes later to make sure she got there okay.

For the first time, it truly hits me how much Rosie missed out on. Can I give her back all of those experiences?

I’m so proud of her, this beautiful girl, the way she thrives despite the things she missed out on, the way she pushes herself to conquer her fears for her son. Because when Connor wants to splash in the creek, she takes his hand and splashes with him, and when he wants to wade a little farther, she takes a steadying breath and steps forward.

“I’m going to miss this,” Rosie says when we start heading back. Connor is fading fast, his small arms thrown around my neck, head resting on my shoulder, his breathing growing shallow as he bounces along on my chest.

“Summer?”

“Summer. This. Me and you. Connor. All the time we have together. I haven’t had such an amazing summer since…since…” She closes her eyes, giving her head a small shake. “School starts in two weeks, and I can’t wait to get back to it, to graduate, but I know I’ll be so busy with all my rotations, and you’ll be busy at work, too, so…I’m going to miss this. The unlimited time. The lazy days and long nights.”

My stomach twists, a heavy lump that sinks to the bottom of my stomach. Two weeks. Two weeks left of summer vacation, before Rosie goes back to school and I start training camp before our preseason games.

I don’t want to spend them lying to her. I want to spend them loving on her, giving her all of me, getting all of her in return. I want her at my home opener. I want her in my jersey, my name on her back. I want Connor yelling for me, calling me whatever the hell he wants to call me. And I want to make them proud to be a part of my life.

“Nothing will change between us, Rosie. It’ll be hard, yes, but we’ll figure it out together. We’ll start a new routine, and you’re going to fly through your last year of school. Before you know it, it’ll be spring and you’ll be a veterinarian.”

“That’s as scary as it is exciting.”

“What’s the plan after graduation?”

She grits her teeth. “I have no idea.”

“Oh, come on. You, the girl who plans everything, doesn’t know? I don’t buy that.”

She blows out a deep breath, spinning around before she sways into my side, holding my arm. “I might have a few ideas.”

“Spill ’em, trouble.”

“Well, the last year is for us to explore all the different aspects of vet medicine so we can decide where we want our specialty to be. So, my first chunk is at the school itself, where we do surgeries, emergencies, radiology, that kind of stuff. Afterward, we get to choose our rotations. I already know I want to go into shelter medicine, and I’ve arranged to do most of my elective rotations at Wildheart. I’m hoping, if I do well, they’ll hire me as a vet after graduation.”

“You’re going to be fabulous. And they already love you there. I can’t imagine them not wanting to keep you.”

“Yeah, I hope so. I’d really love for Connor and me to get our own place too. I know Marco wants to move in with Archie, but our apartment is so small. There’s barely enough room for Connor and me, let alone another adult. And they’re so selfless, they’ll never ask me to leave. If I can get a job and tuck aside the first few pays, then I should be able to afford to get Connor and I our own apartment, with his own room.”

“I like your dreams. They sound perfect, and I know you’ll reach them. In the meantime, we can give Connor his own room at my place.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Why not? I’ve got four. And I plan to keep you two as much as I can, so it makes sense for him to have something a little more permanent than a playpen we stick in an open room, yeah?”

She blushes, nibbling her lip. “He really loved those glow-in-the-dark stars you hung up for him.” She peers up at me. “That would be really wonderful, Adam. Are you sure?”

“I’m very sure.” I roll my eyes and tip my head at the dogs ahead of us. “Now go break those two up.”

“Bear !” Rosie dashes over to the dogs, trying to get mine to dismount hers. “You’re neutered! You can’t have Bear and Pig babies, as cute as they’d be!” She stares down at them, fists propped on her hips. “What are we gonna do with you two?”

I laugh quietly as Rosie has to wind back around and separate them a second time, only moments after she turns her back on them.

“We were gonna take you two for pup cups, but now I just don’t know.” She shrugs, as if she isn’t going to climb in my front seat, give me those puppy eyes, and say, “Weren’t they so good today? They deserve a pup cup, don’t you think?” just like she does every single time. And just like I do every single time, I’ll wind up with whipped cream all over my hands while the dogs make a mess of the pup cups I hold for them.

Connor stirs, turning to tuck his face into my neck, laying his tiny hand over my heart. I kiss his waves, tightening my hold on him, relishing the fullness I feel in this moment, right here in this forest. I look around at the dirt, all the trees, the sea of green that makes this place smell so fresh, and I can’t believe here is where I found exactly what I was looking for.

A tree to my right catches my eye. It’s an old, towering pine, just like the rest of them, but on its thick trunk, the bark is marked with faded carvings.

“Look,” I call to Rosie, touching the bark, the old, rough heart carved into it, the three letters in the middle. D, M, R . Beneath it is a series of numbers that make a date from ages ago. “It’s been here for thirteen years.”

I hear the crunch of the earth beneath her shoes, the way they stop abruptly, the sharp intake of breath. I glance at Rosie, finding her hand at her mouth, eyes filled with tears, and I squeeze her arm.

“Hey. You okay?”

Her eyes don’t leave the heart on the tree. “You found it. I-I…I’ve been looking. Every single hike, for seven years. I’ve never been able to…I couldn’t remember…” Her chest rises sharply with a staggered inhale, and those tears spill down her cheeks before she throws her arms around me. “You found it .”

I look back at the heart, and something clicks.

D, M, R . Dad, Mom, Rosie.

“You’ve been here before. With your parents.”

A broken sob shakes her to her core, and she buries her face against my shoulder as I run my palm over her back.

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

Rosie swipes the tears from her cheeks and nods. Taking her hand, I urge her down to the base of the tree, pulling a sleeping Connor into my lap. Rosie rests her head against my shoulder before she tells me her story.

“My parents and I loved the outdoors. We were always hiking, camping, swimming, exploring. Anything you could do outside, we did it. We spent every summer traveling, and when I was eleven, we came here. We drove across Canada, spent two weeks in Alberta, took our time driving through to British Columbia. And we finished here. Vancouver was my favorite, so we extended our stay a week, and we hiked this trail every single morning.” Rosie looks up at the carving, a smile on her lips. “On our last day, my dad carved this. He promised we’d come back again, that we’d find it.” She looks back at me. “You know Capilano Bridge? The suspension bridge through the mountains? It’s covered in lights all winter long.”

I nod. “I’ve been a few times. It’s beautiful.”

Rosie smiles wistfully. “I bet. I’ve only seen pictures, but it looks incredible. The snow-covered trees, all those twinkly lights…it looks like magic. I wanted to go so badly, but of course the lights weren’t on in the summer. My parents said we could come back in November for my birthday to see all the lights.” Her chin quivers as new tears build, sliding silently down her face. “My parents passed away in September. We never got to go.”

Cupping her cheek, I swipe at the tears that come rolling down. “I’m so sorry, Rosie.”

“It’s why I’m here. Why I chose Vancouver, even though there’s an incredible veterinarian school forty-five minutes from my hometown. Because this is the last trip we took together. Because we were so happy here. We were together, and we were happy. Because Vancouver, because here, right here , is where I feel my family.”

Rosie climbs to her feet, holding her hand out to me, inviting me to follow suit. She traces the shape of the heart, the date, that D and M . “I don’t want to lose this again. I can’t. I can’t forget where this tree is.”

“You won’t,” I promise her. “I’ll remember. We can put something here to mark it. Plant some flowers.”

She grins. “Peonies?”

I smile, touching my thumb to the dimple in her chin. “Peonies.”

Rosie stares at the heart for a long moment before she places her hand over the carving, eyes fluttering closed. When they open again, there’s a clarity behind them, a newfound hope. She’s not lost anymore; she’s found.

She clutches to her heart. “You know what I think, Adam? I think you’re the one who found it because you’re my family now too. You feel like it, anyway. You didn’t just find my family; I found my family in you.”

I’m glad I can give her something she’s been missing, something she so desperately craves and so wildly deserves.

Because I know, in her, I’ve found something I’d given up on.

I’ve found love.

“I think she’s ready to have sex.”

The chatter around me dies, and four sets of eyes rise to mine. Carter twists his twenty-fifth Oreo apart, slowly licking at the icing, and Garrett rips open a bag of Flamin’ Hot Funyuns before sticking his hand inside, pulling a handful out at the literal pace of a turtle. Jaxon pops the cap off a bottle of beer even though he already has one, excitement gleaming in his eyes as he tips both back to his mouth at the same time, and Emmett pulls out his phone, the sound of his fingers clacking at the screen filling this awful silence.

A horrible, high-pitched, dying bird type of screech filters into the backyard from Carter’s kitchen, and sweet Christ, what I wouldn’t give to get that awkward silence back.

“Rosie’s ready to have sex !” Cara shrieks from inside. “Our sweet angel baby’s getting his dick wet !”

“Jesus fuck—” I scrub my hands over my face and look to Emmett. “Does she ever, you know…not?”

He shakes his head wistfully. “Never. Never does she not. She always does.”

“When do you see her next?” Jaxon asks, reaching for Garrett’s Funyuns. Garrett glares, tearing the bag out of reach.

“Tomorrow.”

“And what makes you think she’s ready for sex?”

“Well, she…we’ve been…I mean, things have progressed, naturally.”

Garrett shoves a handful of his snack into his mouth. “Naturally.”

Carter tosses his cookie into his mouth. “So you w-icked ’er cookie.”

“I refuse to acknowledge you when you talk with cookies in your mouth and call body parts after them.”

“Meh meh meh meh meh,” he mimics, then tries to rip the Oreo pack out of my hand when I grab it. “No! You don’t get my cookies if you’re gonna make fun of me.”

“Carter,” Olivia warns from inside. “Share your cookies.”

His brows tug so tightly together with his frown as he relinquishes the cookies. It’s incredibly hard to take him seriously when he’s wearing that T-shirt, Support Your Local Girl Dads stamped on it. He makes grabby hands at Emmett, who’s holding Ireland. “Gimme my baby.”

“No.”

“If I can’t have my Oreos, I need my princess.”

Emmett tickles Ireland’s belly, and she giggles around the silicone hockey skate she’s gnawing on. “She’s happy right here. Aren’t you, angel?”

The patio door slides open, Olivia stepping outside. Her gaze sweeps the patio before landing on Emmett and Ireland. “There’s my girl. I need to feed you, sweetheart, but I promise I’ll bring you right back to Uncle Emmett, okay?”

“I’ll be waiting.” He blows Ireland a kiss and leans back in his chair, crossing one ankle over the other, looking me over. “Back to you having sex.”

“You know she slept over for the first time last week. And she’s been saying…she’s been saying she wants this next time to be baby free. So I think…do you think…” I brace my elbows on my bouncing knees. “Does that mean…?”

The four of them leap from their chairs, high-fiving each other.

“Ay-yo !”

“There it is!”

“That’s totally the sign!” Garrett tells me, sinking back down to his seat.

Carter nods. “Ollie always says she wants baby-free time when she wants to go all night or get super loud.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Olivia growls from inside. “Carter !”

Emmett clinks his beer against mine. “Looks like you’re having sex tomorrow night, bud.”

“Tomorrow night? But that’s…so soon…and what if I…” My throat runs dry, and I lick my lips. It’s been so long. Too long. I’m out of practice. And what if I’m not good? I look down at my trembling hands and blurt, “My hands are sweaty.”

Jaxon watches me carefully. “So Rosie’s ready…but are you?”

Am I ready? Nobody’s ever asked me that before. I guess…I guess I hadn’t really thought of it. I was never ready before, but then, none of those girls were Rosie. I just want to be enough for her.

I leap to my feet, knocking the Oreos to the ground, eliciting a gasp from Carter, who dives for them. I shove my fingers through my hair and blurt the first thing that comes to mind. “I-I-I…I don’t have any condoms.”

With his cookies safe on his lap, Carter runs a palm over his puffed chest. “I’d give you one of mine, but it’d be way too big.”

Olivia’s snort drifts through the patio door. “Carter, if anyone’s taught him the importance of wearing a condom, it’s you. Everyone here knows you don’t own a single one.”

Garrett exhales loudly, leaning back in his chair, kicking his legs out in front of him, resting the back of his head in his clasped hands. “I’d give you some if I had them, but Jennie lets me fuck her raw.”

“Yeah I do, baby !”

“Take that back,” Carter growls lowly.

Garrett tosses one of Carter’s cookies in his mouth. “No.”

Emmett puts his hands up. “Don’t look at me. Me and Cara are trying to have a baby.”

“What’s a condom?” Cara calls.

Jaxon sighs and rises, fishing his wallet out of his back pocket. “I got you, big guy. What do you need? I got ultra ribbed, bare-skin raw, G-spot—that one’s designed for her pleasure; Rosie’ll like it—magnum, banana flavored, fire and ice—”

“Why do you have so many?”

“You never know what she’s gonna—”

A loud crash ends his words, and we turn, watching Carter and Garrett wrestle on the grass.

“I said take it back!” Carter shouts, pinning Garrett to the ground.

Garrett rolls on top of him. “And I said no!”

“You stole my cookies!”

“Ollie said you have to share!”

“You can’t have unprotected sex! You might accidentally have a baby!”

“Proof I fucked your sister! And don’t call your daughter an accident!”

“Ireland, baby, Daddy loves you! You were a happy surprise!”

The patio door slides open, and Olivia, Jennie, and Cara step outside.

“Oh my,” Olivia murmurs, handing Ireland back to Emmett.

“Children,” Jennie mutters.

“I’ve got a hundred bucks on Gare-Bear,” Cara says. “Who wants in?”

“Not fucking me,” I grumble. Garrett’s grown a whole new set of balls since he and Jennie started dating. It’s a lot of fun to see him terrorize Carter. Also, I’ve learned not to bet on Carter. His wedding was a seven-hundred-dollar mistake I’m not making again.

“You look frustrated,” Olivia says as she takes a seat beside me, Carter’s lost box of Oreos now in her lap. “You know what’s great for that?”

“Sex?” I guess on an exhausted sigh.

She tosses a cookie in her mouth and winks. “Sex.”