Unmasked

The last time I attended a funeral was when our parents died. But even the, because their bodies were badly burnt, there wasn’t much that happened there. People gathered to mourn for a day and the following day a Pastor was called to hold a service in their memory and that was it.

I don’t remember shedding a tear, neither did my brother. The both of us were just glad that the pain I had endured at their hands was over. So attending Thando’s mother’s funeral has been a little strange for me because I have seen people genuinely crying over her death. My heart goes out to Thando because I have never seen him this hurt before and I am inwardly praying that he is going to be able to overcame this.

‘You need to go home and rest.’ Leo says.

I smile at his thoughtfulness. He has been coming every day since the funeral started just to make sure that I am taking it easy on myself.

‘I will.’

‘They have buried Zara, the worst is over.’

‘The real funeral begins when everyone has gone.’ I say exhaling deeply.

‘You need to take care of yourself and the baby.’ He says matter of factly.

‘Whatever you say.’

‘Go and say bye to Thando, I am taking you home.’

‘Leo.’

‘Zac wouldn’t be happy with you, even Thando himself wouldn’t want anything to happen to his child. So go and say good bye so that I take you home.’

‘Okay.’ I respond.

I wait a few minutes for him to change his mind but he doesn’t so I walk into the house. I see how some of Thando’s aunties look at me. It’s no surprise that they are giving me stares. Everyone is aware that Thando and I are no longer living together and they probably think it’s my fault. If you were to ask me, I think this is better. I don’t have time to start explaining myself.

I spot Thando seated with his uncles. I go there and kneel down then ask that I talk to him in private. He looks like he doesn’t want me to be here so I wait for him to react and weirdly it has to take a nod from one of his uncles for him to stand up.

‘Can we talk somewhere private?’ I ask seeing that he is not really moving away from his people.

‘We can use the bedroom.’ He tells me leading the way without waiting for me to respond.

‘What’s up?’

‘I just wanted to let you know that I am going home, I am tired I need to rest.’

‘Alright I will find you.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You are going to our house aren’t you?’

‘Huh?’

‘Zara I think you have rested enough haven’t you? You needed some time away, the months that you have been away are enough. You need to get back home and perform your duties.’

I chuckle.

‘What is that supposed to mean?’

‘Nothing Thando, I will let you mourn your mother in peace.’

‘I bet you will.’

‘What is that supposed to mean?’

‘We both know that you don’t know how it feels to lose a mother.’

‘Wow.’

‘I will find you home.’

‘No you won’t Thando, I told you that we are done. I am not about to come back and live with you.’

‘This is not an issue up for discussion, we have already settled it as a family. You are coming back home.’

‘So you and your uncles sat down and talked about how you want me back home you say?’

Silence.

‘Did you explain to them the main reason I left or maybe you cooked up something and being traditional men they thought that I was being unreasonable?’

More silence.

‘Thando you will have to drag me out of my house to come and live with you. You might as well tell your uncles the type of man that you are. I spent half my life trying to get over what I went through as a child and now that I am fine you think I will go back to living in fear? In pain? And in a house that I don’t want to live in? you must be crazy Thando for thinking that I will subject my daughter to that kind of lifestyle.’

‘Daughter? Why didn’t you tell me that we are having a daughter?’

‘You haven’t been present Thando, I will only tell you what I feel you need to know. Everything else you will have to find a way of finding out.’

He opens his mouth to say something but keeps quiet.

‘You know what Thando, I had faith in us. I thought that maybe I would take you back because there will always be some good in you but you know what I have realized, you will never change. There is always someone that will treat you like a pawn and throw you around. You will always be a pawn no matter what.’

‘What are you saying?’

‘You know what I am saying.’

I walk out of the room without saying a word. If ever I thought that things would ever be fine again between us then I was lying to myself. I guess some things are good while they last. After that you just need to pick the pieces and move on.

…

Kwenje’s Girl

Winnie

🙇🏾‍♀️