Underneath the Christmas Tree

I hadn’t intended to sleep in on the Saturday, but with no hut to open I hadn’t set an alarm and discovered that dawn had already breached the horizon by the time I opened my eyes and stretched out in the bed. Even though I had plenty to occupy my mind, my first thought, as my brain caught up with my body, was to wonder how Maya and Ned’s date had gone.

Maya hadn’t specifically said she was going out with Ned, but it was obvious the pair were a couple now. Even though I’d played a part in successfully pushing them together, the realisation didn’t cheer me at all. If anything, it made me feel as bilious as Wren currently did at the beginning of the day. It didn’t seem to matter how hard I tried, and whatever tactics I adopted, I still couldn’t shake off my feelings for Ned and the thought of him with Maya, although painful to imagine, was also impossible not to dwell on.

‘It’s for the good of Wynter’s,’ I quietly muttered to myself as I pushed back the duvet and swung my legs out of bed. ‘Ned, Maya and Liam are the ultimate dream team and the ideal candidates to take Dad’s vision far into the future.’

Which reminded me, I still needed to talk to Ned about offering Liam a job at some point. I might have felt that I no longer had the same right to comment on what went on in the business as before, but I was determined to help secure the lad’s future before I repacked my belongings and left Wynter’s Trees for good.

I took a long shower and once dried and dressed, I turned off the light and opened the bedroom curtains. The place was already a hive of activity, with light streaming out of the barn and all of the huts. I cracked the window open a little and along with the sound of a robin in full voice, wisps of conversation and shouted seasonal greetings met my ears. Everyone was abustle, but then with just a week until Christmas day, that was no surprise. Today was the last Saturday to shop before the twenty-fifth and there were sales to be made.

I knew I should go out and offer to help, but I just couldn’t face it. My dip in mood and lack of festive cheer had initially been brought on by imaginings of Maya and Ned, but there was something else niggling at me too.

Whereas before I couldn’t wait to wave goodbye to Wynter’s Trees, the thought now appealed less and less. Of course, I wasn’t going to be banished and could visit whenever I wanted to, but I didn’t know how I’d cope with seeing the place being solely run by someone else. Especially as that person was going to be Ned.

Resolved not to bring the celebratory outdoor ambience down, I lingered indoors on the pretence of easing myself into the day and catching up on a few chores. The recycling box was fit to burst, so I thought I’d start by emptying that.

‘What’s this doing in here?’ I frowned, as I pulled out the large brown envelope which had arrived, addressed to me, and had now been thrown on top of the flattened cardboard and rinsed out jars.

I might have forgotten all about my unexpected post, but that didn’t give Ned the right to recycle it. Abandoning the job in hand, I ripped open the envelope and reached inside.

‘Forest schools,’ I reminiscently smiled as I pulled out the brochure, then flicked through the pages and read the cover letter.

When I’d started utilising the small area of wild outdoor space at the school I’d been made redundant from, the headteacher had been completely onboard with the idea of incorporating nature into the groups I worked with and had even looked into signing us up to the forest school project with a view to sending me on some specific training.

Unfortunately, there were no formal sites near enough to make visiting an option and then further funding cuts saw the idea shelved completely and my training opportunity lost. However, the idea of being properly trained had never completely taken flight.

If, in my new business, I could incorporate my passion for art as therapy, utilising things collected from nature to create art, and combine it with the benefits of forest school training, then I would be on to a winner. So many students would gain from spending time outdoors and creating something unique and if I added to that the opportunity to take a few risks in a safe environment, then their confidence and self-esteem would skyrocket.

As I read the listed endorsements from the students in the brochure, along with what the leaders and assistants had to say, it dawned on me that this might well have been what Chelsea had been referring to when she mentioned the ‘forest thingy’ and Liam had cut her off, but why had this information been sent to me? I hadn’t requested it.

I stared into space as the cogs slowly whirred and my mind eventually worked it out.

This had to be a venture Ned had, at some point, thought I might consider setting up and running at Wynter’s Trees. He knew how much I loved my job and art, and how I had embraced nature to help further nurture those students most in need.

My heart skittered at the thought and I felt giddy as the realisation dawned that Wynter’s Trees would be the perfect place to set up a forest school, especially with the reserve right next door. Why hadn’t I thought of that before?

‘Because all you’ve been focused on,’ I scolded myself out loud, ‘is leaving it all behind.’

Reading through the descriptions and looking at the images again, I could see quite clearly that the plantation, the reserve and forest schools were the ideal match. There would be no need for me to look for another site to launch my venture, because I already had access to everything I needed right here.

‘Is this Ned’s way of showing me that I can have it all?’ I whispered, imagining myself working with visiting students, helping with the trees and also maintaining the decorative touches around the place. ‘If he’s given it this much thought,’ my heart danced along, ‘then he must really want me to stay.’

Just as my excitement was about to get the better of me, I remembered Ned had thrown away the information in my hand and Liam had told Chelsea that Ned had said the ‘forest thingy’ wasn’t important anymore. This idea must have originally occurred soon after I’d come back, most likely when David had thought there was a chance that I would change my mind about selling my shares.

Dangling the forest school carrot might have been a tactic father and son had previously dreamt up, but thanks to my persistent insistence that I was leaving, they hadn’t considered it worth deploying the bait. The fact that I’d found the brochure in the bin confirmed they were both now resigned to my decision. A decision, I realised, I was beginning to regret.

I desperately needed to talk to Ned because the thought of setting up a forest school at Wynter’s Trees had taken hold and was growing at breakneck speed. It was a thrilling, challenging and enticing prospect and I didn’t dare entertain the thought that I had embraced it too late. He might have tossed his hope out with the brochure, but it was down to me to restore it. I needed to tell him that I’d changed my mind.

‘Liza!’ called Noah, the second I’d hopped down from the veranda and was pulling on my coat. ‘Just the person I need.’

‘Can you hang on a sec, Noah? I just need to try and catch Ned.’

‘Not really,’ he said, looking about him. ‘But don’t worry, I’ll grab someone else.’

I looked about the place, but there was no one else. Everyone was engrossed in their own business.

‘It’s all right,’ I said. ‘Don’t worry. It’ll keep. What do you need?’

And that was how the morning panned out. I went from one hut to the next, then to the barn and back again, helping out wherever I was needed and it felt like I was needed everywhere. After lunch, I made it a priority to check on Wren, who was looking a million times better and then, reassured that she and Theo could cope, had donned an elf hat (thankfully the rest of the outfit was too big) and helped out in Santa’s grotto while Liam returned to his beloved netting machine.

I had assumed we wouldn’t sell any more trees, but I was wrong and there looked to be a steady flow of carts going backwards and forwards to the car park all day. I caught glimpses of Ned, but there was no chance to talk to him and I resigned myself to trying to grab a moment with him at the party instead.

As I moved from one task to another, I couldn’t shake off a floaty, out of body sort of feeling. My physical self was present and just about functioning, but my mind was away, imagining a future I hadn’t realised might even exist, until I had opened that envelope. I couldn’t recall a time when my head had ever felt so full and there was an endlessly spinning carousel of thoughts running through my mind.

If Ned did come around to the idea of me staying and setting up a forest school, then I was going to have to properly curb my feelings for him and, given the lack of success on that front I’d had so far, I wasn’t sure how I would do that. But then, that envelope had been cast aside so there was every possibility that he’d say no anyway and the time spent worrying about it wouldn’t have been worth it. As I said… my head was full.

‘Okay folks,’ shouted Ned, a few minutes after six as the last of the customers cars disappeared down the drive. ‘We’re now officially closed for the day! We’ll see you all back here for the party at half seven! Yes?’

‘Yes!’ everyone cheered.

I hesitated for a moment, wondering whether to try and talk to him then, but Maya was quicker than me. The cheer had barely died down before she had linked her arm through his and steered him back over to the barn.

It didn’t take me long to get ready as I hadn’t got a wardrobe of party gear to pick from. Had I known a celebration was on the cards when I had been packing to come, I would have added something a little more special, but my priorities then had been leaving again as soon as possible and piling in clothes that would keep me warm.

‘Are you ready, Liza?’ Ned called up the stairs, just after seven. ‘I thought we could go over together?’

Assuming we were alone, I went to rush down and take the opportunity to talk to him, but then I heard Maya’s voice in the background.

‘Not quite,’ I said, my voice cracking as I stepped back into my room. ‘Don’t wait for me. I’ll lock up and follow you over in a minute.’

I didn’t think I would be able to bear the sight of them smiling up at me. They would be all dressed up and no doubt looking every inch the perfect couple. For two pins I would have shrugged off my cord jacket, hung my dress back in the wardrobe and buried myself under the duvet, but I didn’t. I listened to them leave, then took a deep breath, ran a brush through my hair, which I’d left loose, added a layer of lip gloss and pulled on my boots.

My look was definitely more boho than conventional Christmas, but it didn’t matter. I would never be able to compete with Maya’s natural sparkle and shine. Not that it was a competition. And besides, given the turmoil coursing through my system, I thought it would be best if I stuck to making small talk and blending into the festive background. I might even slip out and head back to the lodge once I’d done the rounds.

‘Wow!’ beamed Noah, who happened to arrive just as I was leaving the lodge. ‘Look at you!’

‘Don’t,’ I said, sounding sulkier than I intended. ‘It’s all I had with me. I wasn’t expecting a party when I packed to come.’

Noah dropped the hand of the guy next to him, placed his hands on his hips and tutted.

‘I’m being serious,’ he said. ‘You look gorgeous. I had no idea you had legs and a waist under all those layers. You’ve been hiding out in baggy jumpers and long coats.’

‘I haven’t been hiding out,’ I told him, a smile tugging at my lips. ‘I’ve been trying to keep warm.’

‘And your hair’s so long,’ he carried on. ‘You should wear it down like that more often.’

‘Thanks,’ I said, feeling better as I smoothed it over one shoulder.

Suitably satisfied with appraising my look, Noah turned back to his companion.

‘Now,’ he beamed, ‘let me introduce you to Michael.’

‘Michael,’ I said, ‘it’s lovely to finally meet you.’

He was unbelievably good looking and perfectly groomed. Tall, tanned, fit and with not so much as a hair out of place.

‘Hello,’ he smiled, revealing teeth which were as impeccable as the rest of him. ‘I’ve heard so much about you, Liza.’

‘Have you now?’ I said, narrowing my eyes at Noah, who was looking adoringly at his partner.

‘All good,’ he flustered, when he noticed I was frowning at him.

He quickly linked one arm with Michael and the other with me.

‘Now, come on,’ he insisted, ‘we need to make an entrance.’

That was the last thing I wanted to do, but Noah refused to let me go. However, as we crossed the barn threshold, I became too distracted by the transformation to notice whether anyone was looking at me.

I had assumed the barn was party-ready before, but in the ninety minutes since Wynter’s Trees had closed, the space had morphed again and into something even more beautiful. There were yet more lights, another tree, tables laden with platters of covered food, a small bar and much more mistletoe. It was cosy and warm too, thanks to some strategically positioned space heaters.

‘Wow,’ I gasped.

‘Right?’ Noah sighed, sounding every bit as taken aback as me. ‘How stunning is this?’

‘Do you like it?’ asked Maya, rushing over when she spotted us. ‘Is it okay?’

‘It’s stunning,’ I told her, ‘and, so are you.’

She gave us all her trademark smile and an elaborate twirl.

‘Isn’t it cute?’ she laughed, looking down at her dress.

Her outfit wasn’t at all what I had been expecting. A red sleeveless skater dress with a silver ribbon around the waist and reindeer prancing at the bottom. The bodice was covered in tiny diamante crystals which sparkled as they caught the light. With her blonde hair in a fancy up-do she looked exquisite. Where I had been expecting slim-fitting and sophisticated she’d embraced quirky and fun. She was endlessly surprising.

‘Totally,’ I told her, ‘but I wish you hadn’t worn heels, Maya,’ I scolded.

She giggled and rushed off to welcome yet more guests.

‘She makes me feel short,’ tutted Noah, ‘so goodness knows how you feel, Liza…’

‘Noah,’ Michael frowned.

‘What? I’m only saying…’

Michael dragged him off before he could further dig himself into a hole and I followed my nose to the mulled wine that Sophie, Hope’s mum, was doling out.

Before long, the barn was full of people, music was playing and practically everyone was dancing. I’d never known a party like it. It certainly knocked my Christmas nights out with Caitlin and our other exhausted school colleagues into touch.

Ned was looking gorgeous in a navy long-sleeved shirt, which complimented his hair colour and freckles wonderfully, and smart jeans. I tried not to stare as he talked and laughed with everyone because the sight of him filled my stomach with butterflies and made my heart flutter. I was going to need another glass of wine before I plucked up the courage to talk to him even though I had been building up to it all day.

‘Are you having a good time?’ David asked, coming to sit next to me. ‘I haven’t seen you dancing much.’

‘I have been dancing,’ I reassured him, smiling as Noah took Abbie for a spin on the dancefloor in her wheelchair. She certainly wasn’t letting the confines of her chair stop her from having a good time. ‘I’m just taking a breather. It’s a wonderful party, David. It reminds me of the shindig Fezziwig threw for his employees in A Christmas Carol.’

David looked delighted.

‘Ned would be thrilled to hear you say that,’ he beamed, nodding over to where his son and Maya were now cutting quite a dash on the dance floor. ‘He told me earlier that was exactly the atmosphere he was hoping to evoke.’

My heart beat all the faster as I watched him and Maya dancing. They looked so right together. I must have been mad to imagine after our kisses that Ned had ever felt anything for me when he had a woman like Maya by his side.

‘Mission accomplished then,’ I said, emptying the last dregs from my glass before turning my attention back to David.

‘You should tell him,’ he said, as the track came to an end. ‘Ned!’ he shouted, beckoning him over.

‘No,’ I began to protest, plucking at his sleeve, but it was too late.

I might have been wanting to talk to Ned all day, but on my terms not when his dad saw fit.

‘Liza,’ said Ned, walking over alone as Maya set about helping Hope and Sophie uncover the food. ‘I’ve hardly seen you all evening. You look lovely by the way.’

‘Thanks,’ I blushed.

‘I hope you’re having a good time?’

Was it my imagination, or was he not quite as smiley talking to me as he had been with everyone else?

‘Yes,’ I said, ‘it’s a great party.’

‘Tell him what you just told me,’ David encouraged.

I explained what I had already said and Ned’s broad smile finally reappeared.

‘How about that then?’ laughed David.

‘Fantastic,’ grinned Ned. ‘That’s exactly what I was aiming for.’

‘So, your dad told me,’ I nodded.

As there seemed to be a lull in the revelries while everyone lined up to pile their plates with festive food, I screwed my courage to the sticking place and grasped the opportunity to ask Ned if we could meet for a moment in the office. I wasn’t sure the timing was right but the request was made before I could talk myself out it.

‘It won’t take a minute,’ I told him, as he looked around. ‘You won’t be abandoning the party for long.’

‘All right,’ he said. ‘Come on.’

‘I’ll save you both some food,’ David called after us.

I wasn’t sure I would have the stomach to eat it.

‘It’s about Liam,’ I blurted out, as soon as the door was closed and Ned had turned on the desk lights.

It wasn’t really, but I thought starting with him might be easier.

‘What about him?’ Ned frowned. ‘Those lads haven’t been back causing trouble, have they?’

He rolled up his shirt sleeves, revealing wonderfully toned forearms, then leant back against the desk and crossed his arms.

‘No,’ I swallowed. ‘Not as far as I know. This is something different.’

‘Go on.’

‘Well,’ I said, ‘I know you weren’t impressed when I first took him on, but you have to admit, he’s been invaluable in the few weeks he’s been here.’

‘He certainly has,’ Ned readily agreed. ‘The kids love him as much as the parents and he’s picked things up very quickly.’

‘And we know he’s honest,’ I pressed on, emboldened by his enthusiasm. ‘In spite of what this Bradley and Kyle have implied.’

‘Yes,’ Ned nodded. ‘I haven’t forgotten that he looked after that purse until Catherine Connelly claimed it.’

‘Exactly.’

‘So, why are you bringing him up now?’ Ned asked. ‘Do you think we should give him a Christmas bonus or something?’

‘Not quite,’ I said. ‘It’s a rather bigger request than a few extra pounds in his pay packet.’

‘Oh?’

‘The thing is, he finishes school next year and I was wondering if there would be any possibility that you might be able to take him on full-time. Offer him a traineeship or something. I think he could be a great asset to the business.’

Ned looked at me and smiled.

‘What?’

‘I didn’t know you had telepathic skills,’ he smiled.

I rather wished I had. It would certainly have saved me some recent heartache.

‘You’ve thought of it already?’ I frowned.

‘It had crossed my mind.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘With Dad going and you, of course.’

My gaze dipped to the floor. I would get to the part about me going once we’d finished talking about Liam.

‘It’s going to be important to have someone else working here and learning the ropes.’ Ned carried on. ‘Maya’s great of course.’

‘Of course,’ I agreed.

‘But can only be here when she isn’t needed on her family farm.’

‘So, you’ll talk to Liam.’

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I’ll ask him and Chelsea to come and see me next week.’

‘That’s fantastic,’ I smiled.

I knew Liam would be over the moon and Chelsea would be too. The pair might not have had the ideal start to their mother-son relationship, but I could see their lives coming together now and I was thrilled for them.

‘And it will give Liam an incentive to keep studying,’ I said, my teacher brain kicking in and forcing to the front of my mind what I was going to say next.

‘It will,’ said Ned, uncrossing his arms. ‘Thanks to Wynter’s Trees, and your insistence that we took him on in the first place, his young life has had a total turnaround.’

My breath caught as I geared up to confess that mine might be poised to, too.

‘Right then,’ said Ned, standing straight. ‘We’d better get back to the party.’

He’d reached the door before I found my voice again.

‘There’s just one more thing,’ I hurriedly said, my voice barely audible.

‘What’s that?’ he asked, turning to look at me.

My heart beat a rapid tattoo against my ribcage.

‘I…’ I faltered. ‘I sorted the recycling earlier.’

‘Oh,’ he said, looking confused. ‘Great. Thanks.’

‘And I found the envelope in there addressed to me,’ I pushed on.

The change in his expression told me the penny was about to drop, in spite of the roundabout way I’d approached the subject.

‘And I opened it,’ I further said. ‘It was the brochure about forest schools.’

He looked at the floor.

‘You sent for it, didn’t you?’ I whispered, my voice thick in my throat. ‘You sent for it because you thought it might be a way for me to carry on doing the job I love and stay here at Wynter’s Trees.’

‘Yes,’ he simply said, his eyes still on the floor.

‘Well, it’s brilliant,’ I blurted out. ‘Inspired!’

‘What?’ he said, his gaze snapping back to me.

‘It’s the perfect solution,’ I said, as a wave of emotion shot through me. ‘I love it.’

He opened his mouth to say something, but I rushed on.

‘So inspired in fact,’ I beamed, ‘that it’s made me change my mind.’

‘It’s made you change your mind?’ he repeated.

‘Yes,’ I choked. My voice trembled as a tear rolled down my cheek. ‘I want to stay. I want to live here in the lodge at Wynter’s Trees and set up a forest school in the plantation.’

The volume of the music in the barn was suddenly cranked up and I had to raise my voice.

‘I think we could make the place available to Norfolk and Suffolk schools, maybe even have a summer camp for kids who…’

Ned shook his head. ‘It’s too late,’ he quietly said.

He didn’t need to shout for me to grasp what he’d said.

‘No, it’s not,’ I protested, shaking my head. ‘It’s not. I really mean this, Ned.’

‘It’s doesn’t matter whether you mean it or not,’ he said, louder now, as the light in his gorgeous eyes dulled. ‘I spent all day yesterday finalising everything. I’ve had the loan I need to buy you out approved. It’s done.’

I sunk into the chair behind me.

‘It’s all arranged,’ he shrugged, ‘just like you wanted.’

‘But you sent for that brochure…’

‘Weeks ago,’ he cut in, ‘and then I binned it because you called that second meeting to make sure that I knew, and Dad knew, that you hadn’t changed your mind.’

I didn’t know what to say. Literally, just as I had been having my lightbulb moment, Ned had been flicking the switch of his off.

‘You said this was what you wanted and I’ve gone through hell and high water to make it happen!’ The words came out as a shout and I flinched.

‘I’m sorry,’ I whispered. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘Not as sorry as I am.’ He glowered, running his hands through his hair. ‘Liza…’

‘Oh my god!’ shouted Maya, flying in through the door. ‘Ned, you have to come!’

She grabbed his hand and started to tug him away.

‘What is it?’ he frowned, resisting. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing,’ she breathlessly laughed, pulling him harder. ‘Nothing’s wrong. Come on, Liza!’ she said, spotting me. ‘You too.’

‘What is it?’ Ned asked again, his feet finally moving.

‘It’s Noah,’ she grinned. ‘I think he’s about to propose to Michael.’