Un2talented (Book 3 of the Un2 Series)

“Granny wants you to put these in one-seventeen along with a couple of the fluffy blankets.” Cadence set the bottle and bag down on the front counter and nudged them toward Dorian. “The bottle should go next to the coffee maker; the bag belongs in the fridge.”

“Okay. Got it.” Dorian closed his laptop and slid it beneath the counter. Anything else?”

“Nope, just the usual. . .”

The bell over the door chimed as the couple entered the office. They looked as if they had started the evening at a costume party and had not yet returned home to change. The woman, a brunette in her late twenties, was dressed in a t-shirt, jeans, and an ornamental armored breastplate that clearly belonged to her companion. Decked out in a ruffled pirate shirt and striped tights, the gentleman ushered her through the doorway.

“I’m telling you, it’s okay. We will find him,” the pirate comforted his harried companion. “We literally have all the time we need.”

“Yes, I know!” The woman sighed, frustrated. “We were so close! I thought this time would finally be the one, but, yet again, a day late and a dollar short.”

Tears began to well in the woman’s eyes. She fought hard not to surrender, and the tears subsided. She turned and addressed Dorian.

“You work here?”

“Yes, I, we do,” Dorian motioned between himself and Cadence.

“The guy that came in last night driving that car, truck, whatever. . .” she motioned to the El Camino through the window, “. . .you shouldn’t expect him back.”

She looked down at the set of keys in her hand and removed the house keys and the beaded homemade fob that said “Daddy”, leaving only the car keys on the metal ring. “This should cover his bill. Sorry for any inconvenience.” She lobbed the keys at Dorian.

He attempted to catch them but bobbled them and dropped them onto the floor. He bent down behind the counter to retrieve them. When he looked up, the couple was gone.

“Where’d they go?” Dorian looked to Cadence.

“I don’t know. I was watching your athletic prowess,” she replied. “I didn’t even hear the door chime as they left.”

Dorian examined the keys in his hand. “How does she know he won’t be back? That sounds kind of creepy.”

“It would have sounded creepier if she said, ‘He von’t be bach!’” Cadence growled in her best Arnold impersonation.

“Don’t you mean, ‘I’ll be bach’? He said, ‘I’ll be bach’ in the movie,” Dorian corrected.

“I know what he said in the movie, but she . . .” Cadence sighed and shook her head.

“What?” Dorian shrugged.

“Never mind.”

“What do you think we should do now?”

“What do you mean, ’we’? I think you need to talk to Granny, and I need to get ready for my interview,” Cadence rebutted. She leaned over the counter and kissed Dorian’s cheek. “Thanks, again. See ya later!”

The door chimed as Cadence exited. Dorian walked to the intercom that hung on the wall at the back of the office. A note reading “Pushing this button is an acknowledgment of my superior intellect. The price for my wisdom is one knock-knock joke” was taped next to the intercom as high as a diminutive, gray-haired woman could reach while standing on her tiptoes. Dorian sighed and pushed the button.

“Knock, knock”, he said.

“Who’s there?” popped immediately back at him through the speaker.

“Wow, that was quick! Were you standing right next to the intercom?”

“Wow, that was quick! Were you standing right next to the intercom, who?”

“No, wait! I was just. . .” Dorian stammered.

“What in the hell kind of punchline was that? I’ll tell you what kind it was. That was a horrible punchline. That joke didn’t even make any sense!”

“But, I . . .”

“But, I . . .,” Granny mocked. “Try again.”

“Knock, knock,” Dorian started over.

“Who’s there?”

“Britney.”

“Britney, who?”

“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Oops, I did it again!”

Dorian heard a snort come over the intercom.

“That was awful, but a good awful!” Granny laughed. “How can I help you, Sweetie?”

“We have an atypical fly-by-night scenario. Some woman claimed our guest in one-seventeen wouldn’t be back, and then tossed me his car keys and an apology as payment. What should I do?”

“Hmmm,” Granny thought a moment.” Call Sheriff Hannah and fill her in. My gut tells me not to worry, but better safe than sorry.”

“Gotcha,” Dorian glanced at the bottle and bag on the counter. “What about the fluffy blankets and the care package?”

“Put out the blankets and leave the goodies after the room has been given a once over. Trust me, they’ll be back.”