Un2talented (Book 3 of the Un2 Series)

The sliver of light penetrated the darkened library. It slowly widened as the mechanized door clanked sideways into its pocket in the wall. A mismatched pair of silhouettes entered the trapezoid of light pouring in from the hallway.

“I’m not crazy about going back into this room,” voiced the taller shadow.

“Why? We’ve been in here hundreds of times,” the short shadow countered.

“That fish.”

“What about the fish? It’s nothing but a goldfish!” Shorty laughed.

Lights flickered on automatically as they crossed the threshold.

“A goldfish the size of a taco truck! Plus, you saw what it did to Joey.”

“There is no way that lovely fish had anything to do with what happened to Joey. I would bet my vintage Strat that it was the handiwork of Jayne, his bitch of a sister. Not a lot of love between those two!”

The short one went to the glass half-wall and scanned the tank for the giant goldfish. The lanky one pointed to the floor beside him.

“That’s where they found the body, right there, propped upright against the wall with his head in his hands!”

“How could a fish prop him up and put his head in his hands? I’m telling you it wasn’t the fish.” Shorty checked the contents of his pocket, selected a piece of hard candy, unwrapped it, and tossed it into the tank.

“Why did you do that?” Lanky asked.

“It’s always good to stay on friendly terms with creatures larger than you.”

He unwrapped another piece of candy and held it forward.

“You want one?” Lanky opened his mouth. Shorty tossed it into the open maw and chuckled to himself at the irony of what just happened. “Let’s get that book.”

The two rounded the sofa and approached the podium. Lanky grimaced at the sight of the book.

“Ugh! Who thinks of these things? Imagine a book made from human skin and hair! You mean to tell me they couldn’t find papyrus or something?”

He reached into his back pocket and withdrew a pair of rubber gloves. He pulled them on before marking the page and closing the manuscript. He retrieved a plastic bag from his other back pocket and opened it with a couple of flicks in front of him. He placed the book inside the trashcan liner and knotted the end.

“Nice!” snarked Shorty. “I’m sure the scholars of the occult intended for their masterpiece to be carted around in a lilac-colored, lavender-scented kitchen garbage bag!”

“Joke all you want, I ain’t touchin’ it!”

The tall one held the floral-scented package at arm’s length.

The two circled the couch. As they passed the fish tank a basketball-sized bubble rose to the surface and popped with an audible “bwoop”. Lanky jumped.

“Jeez!” he gasped.

“You should have seen yourself!” Shorty sniggered. “What do you think is going to happen? Is the giant fishy gonna snatch you and drag you to the bottom of the tank? Get real!”