Un2talented (Book 3 of the Un2 Series)

The elevator dropped quickly, causing a momentary sense of weightlessness and a tingle in Gary and Leslie’s nether regions. The whirring sounds of air being displaced by the dropping carriage added to the sensation of acceleration. The descent lasted about fifteen seconds before the car began to decelerate, shifting the occupants’ weight towards their feet.

“Whoa, that was not what I expected!” Gary remarked.

The elevator doors opened, casting a rectangle of light onto an embossed metal tread plate mezzanine. The reflection bounced up to highlight the edges of a polished aluminum railing. The two cautiously exited the elevator and stepped onto the landing. They walked to the edge of the platform and stared in amazement.

They had expected to be in or at least near the mansion. Instead, they were standing on an observation deck a flight of stairs above the floor of a subterranean grotto. Iridescent blue-green moss zigzagged up slabs of glossy granite looking like a well-worn piece of ancient tapestry. Piles of rock that once lay scattered on the floor had been removed and now lined the perimeter of the cave. A series of alternating limestone and granite wedges formed a compass rose in the center of the space. Circling the larger wedge-shaped slabs were more colorful exotic stones fashioned into images that depicted the earth’s elements. Square limestone stepping stones led away from the mosaic patio and transitioned to an epoxied concrete floor that defined the boundaries of an area that reminded Leslie of a high school science classroom. The porcelain panel motif from the elevator continued on the walls of the lab combined with countertops and tables fabricated from stainless steel.

“Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore,” Leslie marveled at the sight of the cave.

“You can say that again, Dorothy,” Gary agreed. “Where do you think we are?”

“I’d guess that we are somewhere deep beneath the mansion,” Leslie replied. He surveyed the grotto. “This place gets stranger and stranger. Rock stars, ancient birds, and now an underground lair”

“So, do you have a plan now that we ended up in the Batcave instead of stately Wayne Manor?” Gary asked.

“The plan is the same. We snoop around until we either find the guys or until someone finds us and we get thrown out.”

“Or back into the freezer! I still think we should have gone to the police, reported Joey and Danny as missing, and let them do their job,” Gary objected.

“Under normal circumstances, I would totally agree with you, but the circumstances are far from normal. We were the guys that tagged along on someone else’s adventure and ended up in peril. Who knows what might be happening to the guys at this very mo . . .”?

Sound-sucking darkness filled the grotto and stole the rest of Leslie’s sentence from his mouth. A split second later the cave gasped as the sound and light returned. A breeze blew across the platform and then reversed direction, sucking the air toward the middle of the cave. A vortex of dust spun wildly atop the compass rose then dispersed in all directions as a pair of silhouettes suddenly popped into its center.

“See, I told you that you wouldn’t die! How do you feel? Are you okay?”

A man wearing a loose-fitting poet shirt and striped leggings steadied a woman dressed in an ornate metal breastplate over a torn t-shirt and jeans. She wobbled a bit and then stood upright.

“I’m a little dizzy and a bit winded, but I’ll be fine,” she replied.

Gary grabbed Leslie by the shirt and pulled him down into a crouch as close to the wall as he could. He held a finger to his lips to signal “Be quiet”.

The woman checked her surroundings. She studied the compass rose beneath her feet and shuddered. “This is where it all happened, Joey. It was all so horrible!”

“Don’t worry. We will find a time stream that has everyone happy and healthy. This was the first jump. We’ll use this time and place as our point of origin.” Joey placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“But I saw Danny and Jayne die. That was so hard. Well, Danny was hard, Jayne not so much.”

“Reese, that isn’t very nice.”

“I’m sorry, Joe. I know she was your sister, but she was, well, an immoral bitch,” Reese backhandedly apologized.

“You just need to get to know her. Once you spend some time with her, you’ll find her to be. . .” Joey paused to think, “just somewhat bitchy.”

The two chuckled, as did Leslie. He quickly covered his mouth after the fact and then tucked in closer to Gary.

Joey drew his sword and put himself between Reese and the noise. “Who’s there? Make yourself known!”

Gary and Leslie slowly rose to the railing. Reese recognized them immediately.

“Gary!” Reese squealed as she pushed past Joey and ran towards the stairs leading up to the landing.

Gary sprinted down the stairs and embraced her as they met at the bottom. Leslie moved to join them.

“It is so good to see you!” Reese sighed. “You, too!” she said to Leslie.

“Is that a new outfit?” Gary jested.

“Actually, it’s vintage,” Reese replied with a spin.

“Who’s your friend?” Gary nodded toward Joey.

She motioned for Joey to join the group. He arrived with his hand extended.

“I believe you two have met before. Recognize him?”

Gary gave him a once-over, leaning forward to try and pick up his scent. He leaned back and looked a little closer. He felt flushed as the realization hit him.

“Joey?”

“I’m sorry. Have we met?” Joey replied, puzzled.

“Met? It’s me, Gary!”

Joey turned to Reese. “Is this the Gary you spoke of? This is my Gary?”

“Wait a minute!” Gary barked.

Reese placed her hand on Gary’s chest.

“Gary, Joey . . . well this version of Joey, just found out about us and is still learning our dynamic. Don’t be angry with him. All of this is new to him,” Reese apologized. She turned to explain. “Joey, Gary is part of the family. Whether he is man or canine he will always be Gary, just in a different form.”

“It was a poor choice of words. I did not mean to offend.” Joey re-extended his hand. “Shake?”

“Ha! He asked you to shake!” Leslie laughed.

“I . . . I. . .” Joey stammered.

Gary shook his head. “It’s okay. Even I find it hard to navigate between my different forms.” He took Joey’s hand and gave it a hearty pump.

“And I am Leslie,” said Leslie as he shook Joey’s hand.

Gary took Reese aside and reassured her about the new member of the family. “He’s been through a lot with us. He knows all about us and our quirks. You can trust him.”

Reese nodded.

“You’ve grown quite a bit since we got here!” Leslie continued.

“What?” Joey replied, perplexed.

“We came here a couple of days ago. You and Danny went to talk with DeLeon while Gary and I got locked in a freezer. We think it was on purpose! Gary and I snuck back in to try and find you guys. We came in through the tunnels connected to the boathouse. They led us to an elevator that took us here and then you guys popped in out of nowhere and . . .”

“. . . and here we are!” Gary ended Leslie’s ever-accelerating explanation by placing his hand over Leslie’s mouth. “What are you two doing here? Is there anything we can do to help you?”

“You won’t believe what has happened! This thing. . .” Reese pointed to the breastplate,” . . . allows you to jump around in time. Joey and I were just in the fifteen-hundreds! We’re trying to find a point in time before Danny gets killed . . .”

“Danny’s dead? How? When?” Gary gasped.

“It happened right where we are standing. It was horrible! But Joey says we can fix it! We just need to rewind things a bit. When was the last time you were with Danny?”

“We were with him two days ago, at the motel, and then here last night,” Leslie interjected.

Reese turned to Joey, “Can you set this to go back two more days?”

Joey grimaced. “The coordinates have always been preset when I used the suit. DeLeon never let anyone else touch it.”

Reese was visibly disappointed.

“But,” Joey continued, “We literally have all the time we need to figure it out. We’ll just move this one here . . .” Joey nudged one of the lapis ingots that sat in a groove that circled the face of the breastplate. The air zipped from the room and was replaced with darkness. A second later the light returned. Gary and Leslie stared at the empty space the time travelers had formerly occupied and then at each other.

“What the hell just happened?” Leslie gasped.

“I’d guess Joey inadvertently sent them sailing somewhere through time,” Gary answered. “Speaking of Joey, it was kinda weird seeing him so much older, huh?”

“You aren’t kidding! Plus, he didn’t even know us!” Leslie agreed. A look of realization washed over his face. “If Joey is flying around through time with Reese and . . .” Leslie gulped,” . . . Danny is dead, what do we do now?”

“I guess we go back to the motel, gather our stuff, and go home,” Gary sighed.

The duo clanked up the metal staircase to the landing in front of the elevator. Leslie poked at the button alongside the doors. The two stood silent for a moment.

“You’re welcome to come and stay with me,” Leslie said, breaking the silence. ” I mean, the house will seem pretty empty without Reese and Danny.”

Queasiness washed over Gary. It hadn’t occurred to him that the people he thought of as family may not be a part of his life any longer.

“Thanks. I’ll think about it,” he said.

The light over the elevator doors blinked, accompanied by a pleasing little “Bing”. The doors parted, revealing an unexpectedly occupied elevator car carrying a pair of staffers wearing t-shirts emblazoned with the word “SECURITY”. Both pairs of men were caught off-guard.

“What are you two . . .”

The security guard’s sentence was cut short by Leslie grabbing him by the shirt and yanking him from the elevator. The second guard lunged forward to assist the first.

“Go!” Leslie yelled to Gary. “Get out of here!”

Never being good at obeying commands, Gary jumped onto the back of the nearest security guard and tried to pry him off Leslie. The guard responded with an elbow that caught Gary square in the jaw, knocking him off balance and into the open elevator. His back slammed into the rear wall of the car, knocking some wind out of him. The doors began to close as Gary righted himself. He slapped at the control panel to stop them but was too late. The car zipped upward, propelling Gary upward toward the mansion and leaving Leslie pinned beneath two security guards in the grotto.